Don't You Go and Carry On With Your Life

Alex

"Tay, wake up." I said, as I lightly shook her awake.

"Hmm what's going on?" She asked.

"My kids are coming over and I'm not ready to introduce you to them yet." I told her and she huffed.

"You know I have one of your kids in my stomach right now. Why can't we just get it over today? They're going to have to meet me one day." She ranted.

"I know but it's my first weekend having them here and I want- I need everything to go perfect. Please!" I begged.

"Fine but you're paying for the hotel I'm staying in tonight." She said. She didn't have anyone else here she could stay with so she was going to have to stay in a hotel all weekend.

"Okay done!" I agreed. I was just happy she wasn’t going to fight me on this.

"And you're paying for me to go to the spa while there." She laughed.

"Okay." I sighed.

She smiled victoriously and got out of bed. I grabbed a suitcase for her and she packed enough clothes for her to stay gone until Sunday afternoon. She had to go to work today, but she wouldn't be able to come here afterwards. Kellin and Kylie were supposed to come after Kellin got out of school today.

"Okay here's my credit card, just charge the room and whatever else to this." I told her once we both finished getting ready for work."

"Mhmm." She hummed angrily.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not ready for all of this." I sighed.

"It's okay. I just feel like you love your other kids more than you’ll love this one." She said, while rubbing her flat stomach.

"No Tay I-I will love them all equally because they're my kids. I'm just not ready to tell Kellin yet. He doesn't really like me right now and knowing about the baby could really make him hate me." I explained.

"Alright alright. Just try to have a good weekend and call me when you can." She said.

"Okay, you have a good weekend too." I said.

She walked over and stood on her tippy toes to give me a kiss and I let her. I wasn’t sure how I felt about us being together as a couple. The only reason I agreed to let her move in with me was because she is pregnant. It felt weird to still be around her because I wanted to cut things off between us before I knew she was pregnant.

"We’re going to miss you all weekend!” She said with her hand on her stomach. I waved to her as she grabbed her suitcase and left.

I slapped my palm to my face and took a few deep breaths before I also left for work.

****

I returned home an hour before Kellin and Kylie arrived. The doorbell rang while I sat on the couch watching the news, and I went to open the door for them.

"Hey, come in!" I greeted them. Kellin rolled his eyes at me as he walked in, and I ignored it because I kind of deserved it. Kylie seemed happy to see me.

"Dad!" She exclaimed and put her arms up so I could pick her up.

"Hi Kyls." I said and kissed her on the cheek. "What are we doing this weekend?" I asked.

"Where's my room?" Kellin asked, ignoring my question.

"Upstairs and to the right." I sighed.

He took his bags up to his room and closed the door.

"I guess it's just me and you, princess." I told Kylie.

I carried her to the living room and sat down on the couch with me. Then I turned on the TV for us until I thought of some way to get Kellin to talk to me.

*Kellin POV*

I sat my bags down on the floor and pulled out my phone. I needed to text Vic and to see if he was at work or not. I wanted to get out of my dad's house before I drove myself crazy. I didn't want to be locked in a room all weekend but I also didn't want to be around him. As soon as Vic texted me back telling me he was off, I called daddy.

"Kellin you've only been gone twenty minutes. It can't be that bad." He said when he answered.

"No, I was calling to see if I could go to the mall with Vic?" I asked.

There was a pause on the phone before he answered. "You have to ask Alex. He's in charge there so I can't tell you yes or no." He said, making me groan.

"I'm just going to sneak out." I pouted.

"No you won't. Just go ask him, I'm sure he'll say yes."

"But I don't want to ask for his permission to do stuff."

"Well you're gonna have to set your pride aside or just not go."

"Fine. I'll go ask." I grumbled. I told him bye and we hung up.

I took a few deep breaths and walked out of my room. I slowly made my way downstairs and saw him and Kylie sitting on the couch watching Sesame Street. He looked bored out of his mind.

"Can I go to the mall?" I asked quickly. I caught him off guard, because he jumped when he heard my voice.

"I-um sure. Just be back before eight please." He told me. This felt weird because usually he would demand I be back by a certain time, not ask and he definitely wouldn't have said please. He was trying really hard to get on my good side.

I grabbed my car keys and left without saying anything.

*Alex POV*

"We go?" Kylie asked as Kellin left to go to the mall.

"No baby, we're going to stay here and enjoy each other's company. We can do whatever you want." I told her.

"Ice cream?" She asked.

"I said do, not eat." I chuckled and she giggled. "But why not?" I shrugged.

I went into the kitchen and she closely followed me. I grabbed two bowls and the vanilla ice cream out of the freezer. Jack would have killed me if he known I was giving her ice cream before real food.

"Okay you can't tell Daddy I gave you ice cream okay?" I said and she nodded. She couldn't tell him if she wanted to because she wasn't that good at making sentences yet. I took our bowls back into the living room and handed her the ice cream when we sat down.

"See you actually stayed here with me so you get ice cream, unlike your brother." I grumbled.

"Cold." She giggled with her spoon in her mouth.

"Yeah ice cream is very cold, babe." I lightly chuckled.

"Where Kelly?" She asked.

"He went to the mall with his friend. He'll be back in a little bit." I said. "I think he still doesn't want to be around me. You don't think he'll hate me forever do you?" I asked her and she shrugged, probably because she didn't understand my question. "Yeah I don't know either. I know I made a dumb mistake but I didn't think he would take it as hard as he did. He might never forgive me for cheating on Jack." I sighed. "I don't even know how things between Tay and I started. It's just I started working more for a few cases and Jack kept nagging me about never being home, which made me want to stay away for even longer. Then one day after a really long night at work, Tay came to check on me before she was leaving and one thing lead to another and my lips were on hers. Next thing I know she was on my desk and we were . . . Uhh it's not important. But I felt horrible the next day and instead of telling Jack, I kept it to myself. I apologized to him about staying at my office until five am but he wouldn't talk to me.”

“When he started talking to me again it was more nagging and I began to become unhappier in our marriage. I think I started to sneak around with Tay more out of spite. I don't know, I thought being with her would help me feel better too. I had mixed feelings about it though. On one hand I felt extremely guilty about cheating on your father, but on the other hand the cheating excited me. It felt like all of the passion had left me and Jack's relationship and Tay was helping me get it somewhere else. I still love Jack and that's why I couldn't leave him, Tay was just there for sex. I never met for things to go any further with her and now she's pregnant and Jack and I are divorced and . . . I’ve just really fucked up."

"Fucked?" Kylie said and my eyes shot over to her. Out of everything I said that was the word she picked up.

"Shit ugh- I mean no Kylie that's a bad word. Don't say it okay?" I told her.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because it's a bad word."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"Why?" She continued to ask and I sighed.

"Let's just watch Blue's Clues." I turned the TV so she would pay attention to the theme song. It felt good to get everything off of my chest, but I needed to find someone older to talk to about it.

After watching TV for thirty minutes I heard my door bell ring. I thought it was Kellin coming back home, but it was kind of early. I got up and opened my front door to see my mom standing there. She was holding a plant and smiling at me.

"Hi Alex." She greeted me.

"Hey mom, come in." I stepped aside to let her in. "What brings you over?" I asked.

"I just wanted to see your new place-"

"-Nana!!" Kylie exclaimed and ran over to my mom. My mom handed me the plant and picked Kylie up.

"Hi Munchkin!" She said kissing her on the cheek. "I didn't know you were getting them this weekend." She told me.

"Yeah it started today. They have to go back home Sunday afternoon." I said and sat the plant on my counter.

"Oh, where's Kellin?"

"He went to the mall with his friend. He's uh not too fond of having to spend the weekend here with me." I sighed.

"Well Honey, it's going to take him time to forgive you. I'm sure he'll start to come around after having to come here every other weekend."

"Not if he spends most of his time in his room or with his friends." I huffed.

"Just give him some time, Lex. He won't hate you forever." She reached up and kissed me on the cheek. "Oh you're such a big girl. How old are you?" She asked Kylie.

"This many." Kylie said holding up five fingers.

"Kylie, you are not five years old." I told her and her and my mom laughed.

"No you're this many." My mom said helping her hold up two fingers.

"This many!" Kylie said, desperately trying to keep her other three fingers down.

"You'll get it one day, baby." My mom chuckled. "I wish you and Jack would have had another. She's growing up too fast." My mom complained.

"Yeah." I mumbled not really paying attention. I was debating with myself on whether or not I should tell my mom about Tay being pregnant. She definitely wasn't going to be as happy since Tay was my mistress but she was going to know in the next seven months. Jack and Kellin were going to know too. I guess I could wait another month or two to tell her. I didn't feel like being chewed out today.

"I guess two grandkids is enough. We can leave them everything in our will." She joked and I playfully rolled my eyes.

"Maybe if you would have had more than one kid you could have more grandkids." I said and she laughed.

"No you were a handful on your own." She chuckled. "Oh I bought you the plant as a house… or I guess condo warming gift." She said remembering the plant.

"Thanks for that. It actually makes my place look less lonely." I said looking around. I just had furniture so far, no decorations.

"Why haven't you decorated? This place would look really cute if you put up some curtains and pillows on the couch and maybe even a rug in the living room."

"I don't know, I don't think I'll be staying here that long so I don't want to do too much just to have to take it all down."

"Oh are you planning on moving . . . or getting Jack back??" She asked and I shook my head.

"No I don't think he'll ever take me back. I just meant I don't want to stay in a condo for forever. I'm going to most likely buy a new house later on." I explained.

"I think Jack would take you back." She said, ignoring everything else I said. "If you apologize and explain yourself and show him that you regret your decision and can be a better man. I'm sure he'll take you back in no time, Sweetie. Jack probably still loves you just as much as he always did, he's just hurt."

"Mom, he won't take me back, just trust me." I lightly chuckled and she frowned.

"So you're not even going to try to get him back?" She asked.

"It would be a waste of time to do that." I argued. It’s not that I didn’t want Jack back, I just knew he would never forgive me.

"You'll never know if yo-"

"-Tay is pregnant." I blurted out. It was easier to tell her the truth than to hide it and keep going back and forth with her. "She pregnant and once Jack finds out he's going to really want nothing to do with me. Him and Kellin both."

My mom stared at me as if she was waiting for me to admit I was joking. I really wished I could tell her it was all just one big joke.

"S-she's pregnant? The girl that you cheated on Jack with is p-pregnant?" She stammered and I nodded. "Oh Alexander what the hell have you gotten yourself into." She sat down Kylie down and took a seat in one of my barstools.

"I don't know, mom. I honestly didn't mean for it to go this far. I regret everything I did with Tay. And I feel like a horrible person because I don't want the new baby to grow up feeling like I wish it was never born but . . . I don't know, it's complicated."

"Well what's done is done and now you're going to have to step up and raise that kid too even if you don't want to." She scolded me.

"I know, mom." I sighed.

"Where is Tay? Have you talked to her and decided how you're going to handle this?"

"Yeah she has actually been staying with me since I moved. I asked her to stay in a hotel while I have Kellin and Kylie this weekend."

"Oh so you two are together now? Doesn't that seem too quick?" She asked angrily.

"Eh I really wouldn’t call us together." I shrugged.

"Well make sure you take care of all of your kids. That's the most important thing." She sighed.

"Yeah that's my first priority. I've been trying to think of the right time and way to tell Kellin though." I said.

"You should definitely do it before the baby is born or before someone else gets the chance to tell him before you. And just let him know that it won't change his relationship with you or how much you love him. He's still going to be angry when he finds out, but like everything else it'll heal with time."

"Yeah you're right. I'll try to do it after Tay and I go to her first doctor appointment. Thanks, mom."

"You're welcome, Sweetie. I guess I should get going. You’ve given me a headache." She said.

We both stood up and I walked her over to the front door. She hugged Kylie and I and then left.
Kylie began to yawn and I looked at the time. It was a little after eight and Kellin still wasn't home. I asked him to be home by eight so I could have some time to attempt to talk to him. Of course he wouldn't come back when I told him to. I ignored it for now and took Kylie to my bathroom so I could give her a bath and get her ready for bed.

Thirty minutes later, I was laying Kylie in my bed to go to sleep and Kellin was knocking on the door. I went to open it and he was looking down so he wouldn’t have to make eye contact with me.

"I asked you to be back by eight." I stated, trying not to sound angry like I normally would.

"I know, Vic and I saw a movie and it lasted longer than I thought it would. Sorry." He mumbled.

"It's okay. Just don't let it happen again." I said and he looked at me kind of surprised. Usually I would scold him more or take his phone for the night for not listening. I needed to get on his good side for now so I was trying to be more lenient."

"I won't?" He said still sounding confused.

"Cool. What movie did you guys see?"

"Fantastic Beast." He answered.

"Was it good?"

"It was alright."

"Oh. Are you hungry?" I asked.

"No we ate there."

Even hearing him give me short answers excited me. It was better than hearing nothing at all from him.

"I'm going to bed." He stared as he walked in the direction of the stairs.

"Okay, goodnight." I called after him.

"Yeah." He mumbled and I smiled.

It wasn't a full conversation, but it was a start!

Notes

I totally forgot today was Wednesday lol Sorry!! I uploaded before midnight so it still counts! Hopefully this chapter gives you all some insight on how Alex is feeling.