Don't You Go and Carry On With Your Life

Jack

"Jack just answer your phone." Alex complained as my phone vibrated for the third time today. Every since Joe punched Alex days ago he wouldn't stop calling ten times a day. There was nothing I had to say to him so I wasn't answering.

"No, actually I'll just block his number." I said stubbornly. I picked up my phone and blocked him.

We were sitting in the waiting room of Dr. Pope's office. She was taking care of a phone call and said she would be with us in a few minutes.

"I'm not even mad at him so why are you?" Alex asked.

"Because it was wrong of him to hit you. You should have hit him back." I grumbled.

"No, Joe's like a father to you. I couldn't imagine hitting him." He said and I rolled my eyes. "I don't want to be the reason you two never talk again." He added.

"It's not your fault. It's his." I said stubbornly.

"I'm ready for you two now!" Dr. Pope exclaimed before Alex could say anything back.

"Hi, sorry about the wait." She apologized and Alex and I told her not to worry about it. "Okay let's get started. How has everything been since last Thursday?" She asked.

"It’s been great! We’ve been spending a lot more time together." I told her.

"And we decided that we're ready to begin dating again." Alex added.

"Do you think that's a good idea for us right now or is it too early?" I asked worriedly. I didn't want us to be moving too fast.

"Yeah I think it's a great idea! I have been seeing major improvement in you twos relationship. You both are communicating better with each other and I can tell you're still very much in love. I think in a few more sessions you two won't even need me anymore." She joked and we chuckled.

"You've been so much help for us. Thank you so much." Alex told her and I agreed.

"You and Jack did all the work. I just mediated the interactions, so you should be thanking each other." She told us. Alex and I smiled at each other. "Okay now let's go over a few ways you both can make sure you're actually catering to the others feelings and needs." We spent the next hour with Dr. Pope doing exercises and talking about the future of our relationship.

We left and thanked Dr. Pope once our hour was up. Alex followed me back home so he could spend time with the kids and me. We've been spending more time together every day. I could tell it was having a positive effect on Kylie and Kellin. They both were happier and not getting themselves into trouble.

"Hey can we talk outside for a bit?" Alex asked before I could unlock the door to the house.

"Is that code to have sex in the back of your car again?" I asked skeptically and he chuckled.

"No I really wanna talk this time." He said and I nodded.

We moved to the swing on our porch and sat down. I was really curious as to what Alex wanted to talk about. He sounded concerned which scared me. He sat his hand on my leg, making me look up at him.

"I love you." He said.

"I already know that Lex. I love you too." I told him.

"Yeah I know . . . I just can't help feeling like I don't deserve you." He said and looked down. "I’ve sort of felt kind of guilty for even being able to be around you and the kids so much now. It's just . . . I hurt you badly Jack and you still found a way to love me."

"Where is this coming from? Is this because of what Joe said?" I asked. I didn't know he felt like that way.

"No no, I've been thinking about us a lot in my free time.” He tried to assure me, but I’m pretty sure he felt this way because of Joe. “I want us to be how we used to be, but I know we'll never be able to go back to how we were before our divorce. I don't like feeling guilty or afraid that one day you'll wake up and realize that you really can't live with what I did. You're always going to have the fear that I'm being unfaithful and that's my fault. And it isn't fair for you to have to accept my mistake."

I sighed before answering because I was going to be honest with him. I wanted us to find a way to make this work. "I’ve thought about that too. And I'll admit I'm going to be suspicious if you come home late or become distant like before but it'll pass after a while. I didn't agree to take you back because you forced me to, Alex. I did it because I still love you and I believe that you are remorseful and that you've learned your lesson. If I honestly felt like you were capable of cheating on me again, then trust me, we wouldn't even be sitting here together today." I told him and he nodded. "You made a mistake and you owned up to it. Then you found a way to show me that we're still meant for each other. I think that more than proves that you do deserve me." I said and he lightly chuckled.

"I wish there was a way for me to show you how much I love you." He said and I laid my head on his shoulder. "It's not even something words can express."

"But hearing it is good enough for me." I smiled and he kissed me on the forehead.

"Can you do me a favor?" He asked.

"Mhmm." I hummed.

"Can you call Joe back?" He said and I pulled away from him. He just had to ruin our nice moment by bringing up my brother.

"Why??" I whined.

"Because he's your brother. Also he did warn me that he would hurt me if I hurt you and I did it anyways so it's really my fault he hit me." He reasoned and I rolled my eyes.

I picked up my phone and unblocked Joe's number. Then I pressed the call button. I put my phone on speaker so Alex could hear him too.

"Jack! Thank god." Joe said when he answered.

"I only called you so you can apologize to Alex." I grumbled.

"I wanted to apologize to both of you. Is Alex there?" He asked.

"Yeah you're on speaker." I told him.

"Oh. Hey Alex."

"Hi Joe." Alex told him.

"Look I shouldn't have hit you, man. After being chewed out by my mom and wife I realized that wasn't the way to handle the situation. I should have actually tried talking to you and explaining how pissed I was at you hurting my brother. But I'm uh sorry about hitting you though." He apologized.

"It's cool. I understood your anger at the time." Alex told him.

"And Jack I'm sorry for hitting him instead of talking to you about why you wanted to get back with Alex. I don't think you have low self-esteem, you're just more forgiving than me. But that isn't necessary a bad thing. I um . . . maybe we can get together sometime this week and actually talk like adults?"

"I'd like that a lot. We can have dinner at my house on Friday?" I suggested.

"Cool, I'll be there."

"Okay we'll see you then." I said and we hung up.

"See that wasn't so bad." Alex said and I playfully rolled my eyes.

"I'm pretty sure my mom told him what to say." I chuckled.

"Well it sounded like he meant it."

"He did."

"Well it's still a win." He cheered. "But I guess I should cancel my plans I had on Friday." He said.

"Oh sorry I didn't know you already had plans. I can call Joe and reschedule." I said and picked up my phone, but Alex stopped me.

"No no it's okay. I was just going to move some of my stuff into storage. I'm gonna stay with Rian and Zack for a few days while I look for a new place."

"What's wrong with where you're living now?" I asked.

"Nothing. My lease is just up and I want something a little closer to work." He shrugged.

"Oh.” I said and he nodded. “. . . Well I have an extra bedroom here. And it's kind of closer to your job. I'd be willing to give you a pretty good deal." I joked and he chuckled.

"Really?!" He asked.

"Yeah, I mean Dr. Pope said we've been making a lot of progress. And the kids and I miss you when you're not spending the night here with us." I told him.

"I miss you all too when I'm home alone. So I can move back in?" He asked to be sure.

"Yes, Lex." I laughed and he pressed his lips to mine. He grabbed my face and kissed me passionately for a few minutes. When we pulled apart he had a few tears fall down his cheek.

"I swear I'll never leave you guys again." He said and I nodded and wiped his eyes.

"I know you won't." I said and pecked him on the lips. "Now let's go inside so we can tell Kellin the good news." I said and he chuckled and made sure his eyes were dry.

Kellin was so happy that he cried when we told him that Alex was moving back in. It made my heart swell to see him react to that. Kylie cheered along with Kellin when Alex told her. I think she actually fully understood that Alex was going to be permanently staying with us instead of just visiting a lot. Either way we felt like a whole family again tonight.

Alex and I cooked dinner together and we ate as a family. We watched TV until Kellin and Kylie were ready to go to bed. Kellin had school in the morning and we had to go to work.

"Goodnight Dad, goodnight Daddy." Kellin said as he carried Kylie with him towards the stairs.

"Goodnight." We both called after him.

Alex followed me to my bedroom and we both striped out of our clothes. I gave Alex a pair of his basketball shorts and I put on a loose fitting shirt. Alex laid in bed first and then I laid next to him. It felt amazing to know that we'd be able to sleep next to each other for good next Friday.

Alex wasted no time in pulling me to him and wrapping his arms around my me. I kind of expected him to kiss me and try to have sex, but he didn't. He kissed me on the forehead and let me cuddle into his chest peacefully.

"Why aren't you trying to pull my pajamas off?" I asked and he laughed.

"What?" He asked.

"We're actually going to sleep instead of having sex first." I chuckled.

"Yeah, sorry it's been kind of hard to keep my hands off of you since we've gotten back together. But tonight I just want to cuddle and fall asleep with you."

"Okay." I said and he leaned down to kiss me.

“Love you.” He mumbled.

“Love you more.”

Alex held on to me tighter and I fell asleep with a warm feeling in my chest.

Notes

Next chapter is the last one :(( And I told myself that this would be the last fanfic I write, but one popped up in my head last night and I'm so conflicted. It's an idea for a Jalex high school fic, but I don't think I can write high school fics well. I don't know, I'll think about it over the weekend and tell you all what I decide on Monday! Also Thanks for reading this fic!!