Long Live Us
Thirty-Three
After how Uncle Jack reacted to the news, I was scared shitless of how my dad was going to react. He was pissed when I asked him two years ago if I could have sex with Jack. Now here I am, coming home to tell him his oldest baby was going to have a baby. I was scared about my mom's reaction too. I knew she'd be terrified because I could be at-risk like she was. And that scared me just as much as my father's wrath at Jack for putting us into this position when we both forgot to use protection.
"I'm scared, Jack. My dad has a wicked temper. He's going to skin us," I could barely speak I was just so damn scared of my father.
"We'll get through this. I promise. We have to tell him. He has a right to know he'll be a grandfather soon," Jack told me as he helped me to the door.
I got the door open and I led Jack into the house. Jack closed the door behind him and we walked into the living room to find my parents watching TV together. I gulped as Jack and I took a seat on the loveseat. That's when my mom say us.
"Stella, you're home earlier than we thought," my mom seemed confused by us being here.
"Well, we, um, came by because there's something Jack and I have to tell you," I was struggling to find the right words to say like Jack had back at his parents'.
"Stella, is something wrong," my dad was sitting on the edge of his seat. This only means he'll have a launch pad to go off like a rocket with his rage at mine and Jack's lack of responsibility.
"Dad, I-I'm pregnant," I barely whispered to him. I looked up at him and I saw his entire body shaking. I was so scared of him in that moment. I watched as he stormed out of the house and into the back yard, his feet stomping the entire way. This caused Tom to come downstairs to see what's going on.
"Mom, what's going on with Dad," he asked.
"It's about Stella, it seems that she is pregnant," my mom spoke with no emotion as she told my brother I was going to be having a baby.
"It's Jack's though, right," he asked.
"Yeah," I told him. I got up and I ran into my brother's arms. I was crying because I was going to see Dad. I needed to talk to him so he won't come back in here and kill Jack and I for being so reckless.
"It's going to work out. I'll make sure we can still make money, even if that means we can't do any full tours. We can break the news to the others. It's important to tell Mom and Dad and Jack's parents first," Tom kissed my hair before letting me go so I could go after Dad.
I got outside and I saw Dad sitting on the patio in his usual chair pulling on his hair in frustration.
"Daddy, I don't like you being mad at me. Please, just talk to me," I begged as I sat in the chair across from him.
"Stella, you have no idea on what you're getting into. You are 17, Stella. You are a child, you are not ready for the huge responsibility that comes with a baby. I wasn't fully ready for you and Tom when you were born and I was older than you are now when your mom and I had you. Stella, you just started your career, you're still in school, you are not fucking ready for this," he snapped at me. I saw the tears in his eyes of so many emotions flowing through him. He was only 41 years old and he's about to be a grandfather. I disappointed him in the biggest way possible. I let him down and it crushed my heart.
"Daddy, I'm just so scared that everything's going to change between us now that you know. I don't want to lose you because I was reckless for one moment in my life. I need you, Daddy. I need your help and I'm afraid I lost it. I'm not sorry that Jack and I are going to have a baby. I'm not ashamed of it either. I'm just so scared of losing you," I sobbed, my body shaking as I cried, "I know that you're pissed off and fucking disappointed in me for doing this. But I know for a fact that you will love this baby and you won't make me going through this alone."
"Stella, of course I will love your baby. You're my little girl. You're my baby. I'm just upset that you're having a baby so young. I'm scared for you because you could be at-risk like your mother and grandmother. I don't want to lose you and having Jack and your baby repeat what your mother went through growing up. I love you so much, Stella. I love you so fucking much. I'm just so pissed at the timing of this entire thing. I wish you were in your twenties, not 17," Dad pulled me up out of the chair and held me in his arms as I cried heavily.
"I don't want to die when I have my baby, Daddy," I sobbed, "I don't want to leave Jack, or you, or Mommy behind. I just can't do that to you."
"I know, but you know what, you'll be strong like your mother. You have to be strong and brave through this. You better hope you can tour a little, once you get on strict orders to rest, touring is over and you have to plan to wait on going out on tour again. Your grandparents can help you out by watching your little one when you go on tour or I can try to get Matt to schedule us on off tours so your mother and I are home while you're on tour to help you with the baby," Dad said as he kissed my hair, "I love you so much, Stella. I hope you understand that this means you'll have to move out early. There isn't enough room for you and the baby here. I don't want Noelle to see you going through this either. I don't think she's ready to see her sister being pregnant all the time and watching her grow a baby in her belly."
"So you're letting me move out early to live with Jack," I asked him.
"Yeah, I think it's time for you to leave the shelter. I can't keep you here anymore, Stella. Just promise to visit every chance you get and I want to see my grandchild every chance I can," Dad kissed my forehead before he led me back inside.
"Alex, is everything okay," Mom rose from her seat next to Jack. She must have given him a pep talk while flipping through mine baby book.
"Everything's fine," he replied as he held me in his protective arms, "She's a Gaskarth and she's going to have another one. Everything will work out in the end, Jules. I promise."
"Um, Alex, I was hoping to maybe get your blessing to marry Stella when she's old enough. I wanted to wait until we were older to propose to her, but due to everything that's developed lately, I want to marry her as soon as possible to get my family off to a good start," Jack asked my dad.
"You have my blessing. Just promise me that she stays strong through this entirely new stage in your lives and relationship. You also have to tell the others in the band so they all know what's going on," he replied as he hugged Jack.
Jack and I got back to our house and collapsed onto our bed., exhausted from the stress of breaking the news to our parents that they'll be grandparents in a few months.
"How did he take it," Jack asked.
"He was disappointed, devastated and afraid for me, Jack," I told him, "He's afraid our career is gone, that I might be at-risk, and that we could lose everything."
"My dad wasn't as bad as your dad. I'm sure of that since your dad is very protective of you," he replied.
"My dad told me I have to move out soon," I told him, "He feels that will the baby that I need to be out on my own with you. He doesn't want Noelle to watch as her sister becomes a mom. I'm worried that Noelle won't be able to handle me leaving."
"You were bound to move in here eventually. Noelle is a smart girl. We can even offer to have her over so she can see you. My mom already told me I'm welcome to grab Alex to spend time with him since he and I have a bond similar to you and Noelle. We'll work this all out, Stell. I promise," Jack kissed me softly.
I hope that I can make it through this. I don't want to be at-risk. I want to have a smooth pregnancy while I work on finishing school and keep up with the band. If I have to, I will tell Tom to take over on fronting the band when I can't tour. The fans will understand that I have to be home when I'm very pregnant for my health and for the sake of my baby.
I still can't believe Jack and I are going to have a baby.
"I'm scared, Jack. My dad has a wicked temper. He's going to skin us," I could barely speak I was just so damn scared of my father.
"We'll get through this. I promise. We have to tell him. He has a right to know he'll be a grandfather soon," Jack told me as he helped me to the door.
I got the door open and I led Jack into the house. Jack closed the door behind him and we walked into the living room to find my parents watching TV together. I gulped as Jack and I took a seat on the loveseat. That's when my mom say us.
"Stella, you're home earlier than we thought," my mom seemed confused by us being here.
"Well, we, um, came by because there's something Jack and I have to tell you," I was struggling to find the right words to say like Jack had back at his parents'.
"Stella, is something wrong," my dad was sitting on the edge of his seat. This only means he'll have a launch pad to go off like a rocket with his rage at mine and Jack's lack of responsibility.
"Dad, I-I'm pregnant," I barely whispered to him. I looked up at him and I saw his entire body shaking. I was so scared of him in that moment. I watched as he stormed out of the house and into the back yard, his feet stomping the entire way. This caused Tom to come downstairs to see what's going on.
"Mom, what's going on with Dad," he asked.
"It's about Stella, it seems that she is pregnant," my mom spoke with no emotion as she told my brother I was going to be having a baby.
"It's Jack's though, right," he asked.
"Yeah," I told him. I got up and I ran into my brother's arms. I was crying because I was going to see Dad. I needed to talk to him so he won't come back in here and kill Jack and I for being so reckless.
"It's going to work out. I'll make sure we can still make money, even if that means we can't do any full tours. We can break the news to the others. It's important to tell Mom and Dad and Jack's parents first," Tom kissed my hair before letting me go so I could go after Dad.
I got outside and I saw Dad sitting on the patio in his usual chair pulling on his hair in frustration.
"Daddy, I don't like you being mad at me. Please, just talk to me," I begged as I sat in the chair across from him.
"Stella, you have no idea on what you're getting into. You are 17, Stella. You are a child, you are not ready for the huge responsibility that comes with a baby. I wasn't fully ready for you and Tom when you were born and I was older than you are now when your mom and I had you. Stella, you just started your career, you're still in school, you are not fucking ready for this," he snapped at me. I saw the tears in his eyes of so many emotions flowing through him. He was only 41 years old and he's about to be a grandfather. I disappointed him in the biggest way possible. I let him down and it crushed my heart.
"Daddy, I'm just so scared that everything's going to change between us now that you know. I don't want to lose you because I was reckless for one moment in my life. I need you, Daddy. I need your help and I'm afraid I lost it. I'm not sorry that Jack and I are going to have a baby. I'm not ashamed of it either. I'm just so scared of losing you," I sobbed, my body shaking as I cried, "I know that you're pissed off and fucking disappointed in me for doing this. But I know for a fact that you will love this baby and you won't make me going through this alone."
"Stella, of course I will love your baby. You're my little girl. You're my baby. I'm just upset that you're having a baby so young. I'm scared for you because you could be at-risk like your mother and grandmother. I don't want to lose you and having Jack and your baby repeat what your mother went through growing up. I love you so much, Stella. I love you so fucking much. I'm just so pissed at the timing of this entire thing. I wish you were in your twenties, not 17," Dad pulled me up out of the chair and held me in his arms as I cried heavily.
"I don't want to die when I have my baby, Daddy," I sobbed, "I don't want to leave Jack, or you, or Mommy behind. I just can't do that to you."
"I know, but you know what, you'll be strong like your mother. You have to be strong and brave through this. You better hope you can tour a little, once you get on strict orders to rest, touring is over and you have to plan to wait on going out on tour again. Your grandparents can help you out by watching your little one when you go on tour or I can try to get Matt to schedule us on off tours so your mother and I are home while you're on tour to help you with the baby," Dad said as he kissed my hair, "I love you so much, Stella. I hope you understand that this means you'll have to move out early. There isn't enough room for you and the baby here. I don't want Noelle to see you going through this either. I don't think she's ready to see her sister being pregnant all the time and watching her grow a baby in her belly."
"So you're letting me move out early to live with Jack," I asked him.
"Yeah, I think it's time for you to leave the shelter. I can't keep you here anymore, Stella. Just promise to visit every chance you get and I want to see my grandchild every chance I can," Dad kissed my forehead before he led me back inside.
"Alex, is everything okay," Mom rose from her seat next to Jack. She must have given him a pep talk while flipping through mine baby book.
"Everything's fine," he replied as he held me in his protective arms, "She's a Gaskarth and she's going to have another one. Everything will work out in the end, Jules. I promise."
"Um, Alex, I was hoping to maybe get your blessing to marry Stella when she's old enough. I wanted to wait until we were older to propose to her, but due to everything that's developed lately, I want to marry her as soon as possible to get my family off to a good start," Jack asked my dad.
"You have my blessing. Just promise me that she stays strong through this entirely new stage in your lives and relationship. You also have to tell the others in the band so they all know what's going on," he replied as he hugged Jack.
Jack and I got back to our house and collapsed onto our bed., exhausted from the stress of breaking the news to our parents that they'll be grandparents in a few months.
"How did he take it," Jack asked.
"He was disappointed, devastated and afraid for me, Jack," I told him, "He's afraid our career is gone, that I might be at-risk, and that we could lose everything."
"My dad wasn't as bad as your dad. I'm sure of that since your dad is very protective of you," he replied.
"My dad told me I have to move out soon," I told him, "He feels that will the baby that I need to be out on my own with you. He doesn't want Noelle to watch as her sister becomes a mom. I'm worried that Noelle won't be able to handle me leaving."
"You were bound to move in here eventually. Noelle is a smart girl. We can even offer to have her over so she can see you. My mom already told me I'm welcome to grab Alex to spend time with him since he and I have a bond similar to you and Noelle. We'll work this all out, Stell. I promise," Jack kissed me softly.
I hope that I can make it through this. I don't want to be at-risk. I want to have a smooth pregnancy while I work on finishing school and keep up with the band. If I have to, I will tell Tom to take over on fronting the band when I can't tour. The fans will understand that I have to be home when I'm very pregnant for my health and for the sake of my baby.
I still can't believe Jack and I are going to have a baby.
11/4/13