My whole heart
Will be yours forever
This is a beautiful start
To a lifelong love letter

“We should have a code word.”

I glanced over at my husband, a perplexed expression plastered on my face. We’d been comfortably sitting in silence enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon that for once, didn’t include any last minute wedding prep or band-related duties, and as far as I knew he had been innocently checking up his latest feeds on Instagram. Where the code word thing came from, I had no idea. Then again, Jack’s brain worked very much like a dog at times--easily distracted. One second we’re talking about a funny joke we saw on Conan and the next...SQUIRREL!

...okay, maybe he’s not that bad, but sometimes it felt like he was pretty damn close. I raised my recently waxed and defined brow--something that had I not planned on getting married in front of everyone I knew, I never would have agreed to do in the first place. That shit hurt like hell. “A...code word? Why in the world would we need a codeword?”

“For the wedding. Just in case, yanno?” He said, as if it was a completely normal occurrence to ask your fiancee-slash-wife to come up with a codeword for your wedding.

Setting down my own phone and abandoning the text conversation I was having with Lisa, I asked carefully. “In case of what?”

His face scrunched up, reluctance suddenly splashed all over his expression as he stayed silent.

I narrowed my eyes. “Jack, what for?”

He groaned, glancing up at the ceiling to avoid eye contact as he rushed out, “Just in case you freak out, okay?”

Oddly enough, offended I was not. I mean, myself three years ago definitely would’ve flown off the handle at such a statement but now, post-psycotic break and many therapy sessions later, I’d come to terms with the fact that I could be a bit...overdramatic at times. “I feel like I should be offended by that, but we both know it’s a genuine possibility considering it’s me we’re talking about.”

Braver, his lips curled up into a hopeful smile. “So you agree with me?”

I just shrugged. “I don’t know, I mean, we had the whole shindig in Vegas just so I’d be less stressed over all the shit that could go down in a few weeks. So far it seems to be working.”

“Yeah, but what if--”

“I’m not going to freak out, okay? I’m doing this because I love you and I want to share our love with our friends and our families. That’s all I care about, not how my dress looks or what types of flower pedals are thrown down the aisle.”

His dark orbs searched mine, carefully trying to determine any fault in my words. When I stared back at him with a confident gaze of my own, his shoulders slumped, unhappy that I was being so stubborn, but really, he should be used to this by now. I was a stubborn fuck when I set my mind to it.

However if living with the man for several years had taught me anything, was when Jack wanted to be, he could be equally, if not more stubborn. In other words, my resistance was doing nothing to win this battle, especially when he decided to up the heat and play dirty, whipping out those big puppy dog eyes. Clasping his hands tightly, he was suddenly on his knees in front of me in a dramatic, adorable plea. “Can we just come up with one, just in case? Pleeeeease, Sally?” As he peered up at me waiting for my reply, the devil took his lower lip and bit it ever so slightly in what had to be the hottest thing ever and that fucker knew it. Sometimes I hated how easily he could make me swoon.

Damnit.

“Maybe...” I swallowed hard, shoving down that urge to bite that lip for him before kissing every inch of his body until he begged me to--

“...ould be a word we don’t normally use, like jambalaya, fettuccine, ricotta--”

“That’s just food, babe.”

As if on cue, his stomach gave a loud gurgle in response, making both Jack and I chuckle. “Okay, maybe I’m a little hungry, but you still get what I mean, right?”

I chuckled, nodding as I patted his slim torso. “A word we don’t use often, or won’t be using a lot on the wedding day. So no beach, no gardena, no alter--”

“Right.” He nodded, smiling that I’d warmed up to his suggestion without much fight. “So it needs to be something that we both catch right away, that way if one of us says it, the other has to drop what they’re doing and meet them in a special location.”

“That sounds great, but how the hell will we sneak away from our respective entourage without raising suspicions? I mean, I know my mom will be on me like a hawk as soon as we arrive. You know she’s all about tradition and there’s no way she’ll be okay with me seeing you before the wedding.”

He didn’t seem concerned in the least over this little hurdle. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

I sighed, trying to think how in the world we could pull such a thing off if need be.“Where do you suggest we meet, anyway?”

“I was kinda thinking in front of the House of Blues. You know, since that’s where we first--”

“--met. Yeah, I know.” I laughed to myself, crazy to think how much my life had changed when Jack decided to take a chance on a random girl from San Diego. “As adorably perfect as that is, it’s also like ten blocks away from the beach and uphill. Normally not a big deal, but considering--”

“Nah, you’re right. Too far from the B&B...” His bushy brows furrowed in thought as he pursed his thin lips. “Well I guess we can just sneak out the back and meet in front of that fountain in the garden. That should be far enough away from the chaos inside, right?”

I nodded, despite still wondering how the heck I’d escape from my entourage, let alone gathering fans hoping to spot their favorite musician attending our wedding. I didn’t mean to sound full of myself, but we had managed to get quite the group of ‘celebrity’ friends over the years, though by we I mostly mean Jack. He was always quite the socializer. This very fact was yet another reason why I had to point out the likelihood of us being able to sneak of TEN blocks without being stopped by someone who’d recognize us was close to zero. Once that happened, whatever alone time to regain sanity was bound to go kaput. “You know, with the fans and paparazzi that are sure to come, I think that’s probably the best option...”

“You really think that many people care about us getting married?” Jack raised a brow, while I huffed.

“Babe, Brendon and Pete and Mark’ll be at the wedding. If a fan isn't interest in you and me, they'll be trying to at least get a glimpse of them for sure. Admit it, someone’s going to find out, and when they do, all hell will break loose.”

In pure Jack fashion, he didn’t look too worried over this newfound information. “Well even more reason to have a codeword.”

“Is this your way of playing out that undercover spy fantasy you were talking about before?”
I swear his cheeks grew beet red for just a flash of a second. “I have no recollection of what you’re talking about, Sally.” He paused, straightening up his shoulders as he muttered, “And even if I did, this has nothing to do with my dream of me being secret agent Jack Davenport on a mission to save the beautiful Christina, Duchess of England--”

“I don’t think that’s how it works, babe.”

He just winked. “Hey, my fantasy, my rules.”

I sighed, rolling my eyes. “Whatever. So we were talking about a codeword?”

Jack cleared his throat, his mind beginning to wander with the possibility of one day playing out this obscure fantasy of his. “Um, right.”

I raised a brow, silently laughing at how badly he wanted to role play and, though I kept my exterior completely unimpressed, inwardly I was thinking of how much it would take to make this fantasy a reality.

But one step at a time.

Back to the whole code word thing, my brain was going blank and I was growing frustrated. “Should it be random?” For that matter, should it be that difficult to come up with a damn word?

“...I guess it could be, but it’d be harder to remember if it is.”

“So something that has meaning to us and won’t be said much--like what, Oogie Boogie or halloween town or--”

“How about Finkelstein?”

I tilted my head, only taking a half a second to follow Jack’s train of thought this time“As in, Dr. Finkelstein?”

Oh, duh.

“Like that doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb. The second I say that everyone and my grandmother will know what I’m up to.”

“You make that sound so dirty.” Jack chuckled. “It’s not like we’re sneaking off to have sex...” He paused, eyes carefully rising up to peer into mine. “...right?”

Oh my God, he could be such a...MAN, sometimes. “We’re not going to sneak in a quickie before we get married, Jack. You can keep it in your pants until at least the reception.”

Jack didn’t seem the least offended by me shooting down his idea. Shrugging, he apologized, “Sorry, just had to ask.”

“What about Beatles? Or Sandy Claws? Or Anaheim? Or John McClane?--”

“I’VE GOT IT!” He shouted, making me flinch in shock as he jumped up, oblivious over my hearing discomfort and momentary (but genuine) fear of hearing loss.

Don’t judge me. His voice can be fucking louder than a speaker on full blast, I swear.

“What?” I asked, rubbing my inner ear in a dramatic fashion in hopes Jack would get the point and quiet down.

“OUR CODEWORD SHOULD BE TATTOO!”

I looked at Jack like he had actually lost it. “Tattoo?” I repeated flatly, unsure why this was the perfect word.

He nodded, smiling broadly. “Yep. Tattoo. Don’t you get it, Sally? It’s because that’s the first thing I noticed when I met you. The first thing that...made me fall in love with you.”

It was my turn to blush. It never got old, hearing him confess his love to me. “Well...in that case...” I smirked, realizing the slight ringing in my ear from Jack’s enthusiastic announcement was all but gone as I quickly came around to find Jack was right and he had indeed come up with the ideal word. It was simple and common to any passerby, but to us...to us it meant so much more. “It’s perfect.”

We didn’t talk about the codeword after that, figuring that it would be there if we needed it, but that was it. After all, it wasn’t a good idea to think of all the reasons why we’d need to use it, and instead chose to go on with our lives like normal, getting ready for the joyous celebrations to come. Dwelling on what could go wrong was bound to drive me all kinds of crazy, I just knew it.

That was sure to be nothing but trouble.

Notes

I POSTED SOMETHING! THIS STORY IS NOT DEAD, I SWEAR!

...on a side note, I'm seeing the boys again in four days. Eeek.

Opening lyrics are from "I Choose You" by Sara Bareilles.