Nothing's true and nothing's right
So let me be alone tonight
Cause you can't change the way I am

“You would not believe how my day went.” I announced giddily as soon as I entered our LA apartment, Zero happily greeting me with his tiny puppy-barks and waggly stub of a tail. I giggled lightly, bending down to pet the young dog with a happy smile.

“From your tone, I’m gonna guess horribly.” I heard Jack joke lightly, his voice getting louder as he emerged from the back room, his bright grin instantly making my own smile grow as I met eyes with him.

“Not quite.” I stuck my tongue out as I stood back up, waiting patiently as he sauntered towards me, a smirk on his lips.

“I take it they loved you?” He questioned.

I shrugged, biting my lip. I didn’t want to jump the gun and go straight to love, after all. “...maybe?” I muttered, my gaze shooting down in embarrassment despite getting this inkling that that’s exactly how the guys from Fall Out Boy felt about me. Not to brag, but I did pretty damn awesome back in the studio.

Jack’s laughter reverberated within me as I let my body fall against his chest, my cheek resting against his t-shirt with a content sigh. “They really liked me, Jack.” I told him softly, the idea that I even had a chance to work with my idols still beyond surreal in my mind. “I guess they had just planned on me doing one song with Pat, but they liked how our voices harmonized so much that I ended up doing like three more backing tracks or something like that.” I scrunched up my nose slightly as I tried my best to recall the exact number, to no avail. I shrugged a moment later, knowing it didn’t really matter. “I’m not totally sure...I kinda lost count.”

I could feel his hands slowly wrap around my waist, his hands feeling like a perfect match against my feminine frame. I glanced up to meet his proud gaze. “That’s my girl.”

“I love you, too.” I couldn’t help but chuckle, not really sure what else to say whenever Jack got all complimentary like that. It was...uncomfortable, oddly enough. I mean, I knew I had the right to be praised just like any other person, but to hear it from Jack, despite knowing him for going on almost five years, still made me speechless. Maybe it was because I had always considered him the more talented one between the two of us--you know given that out of everyone I knew, he was only bested by Jo when it came to his guitar skills--but despite my own success in music, I considered myself inferior to him. I was just a voice. He...he created melodies out of thin air with his instrument. How was that even a competition?

His thick brows furrowed, his brown orbs intently scanning my every move. “What is it?”

I shook my head. “It’s nothing. You’re just playing me up again like I’m the most talented person to walk the earth. It’s...” I took a breath, thinking of the right word that matched my current emotional state. Strange? Unnerving? Jarring? “...weird.”

“Weird?” He repeated, tilting his head slightly. “Come on, Sally. How many times do I have to tell you you deserve to be in this whole music thing just as much as Alex, Jo, or any of us?”

“No, I know I do.” I countered, trying my best to find that very confidence he thought I had. I was getting better at it, don’t get me wrong. But every now and then it was hard to muster said confidence. “It’s just hearing it from certain people...it still feels surreal, you know?”

When he didn’t say anything, I continued. “Like today, with Pete and Patrick and Joe and Andy--they all loved me, and even after all of that I was waiting for them to say ‘thanks for trying, but we need an actual professional now’. I swear, the second I walked into that studio, I wasn’t me anymore, but sixteen year old me, singing my heart out in San Diego in my parents house dreaming of the day I’d become a world famous singer. Suddenly every single thing I have been taught as a performer and singer went out the window. I’m kind of surprised the guys even took me seriously after I played one of their songs on the piano like a obsessive freak--”

Jack rolled his eyes. “I’m sure it sounded awesome, babe.”

Again, the memory was fogged up due to the fact that I freaking met-slashed-worked with my favorite band ever. Everything leading up to it was, unfortunately, a blur. “I was kind of on auto-pilot at that point, trying to calm my nerves, so I can’t really say. Pete seemed to like it, though.”

“I’m sure he did, though I have to admit, if I didn’t have total faith in you and didn’t consider Pete like a brother or weird older uncle, I’d be worried he was trying to steal you from me, from the way he’s always complimenting you and shit.”

It was my turn to roll my eyes. “Ew. I love Pete, but I repeat, ew.”

Jack’s shoulders relaxed, bobbing his head as he was clearly pleased by my disgusted response. “Just checking.”

I let a beat pass, my heart beginning to thump in my chest as the last bit of news, the biggest news of all, was on the tip of my tongue, begging to be released. I could feel the nerves rise once more, and I flexed my fingers into a fist to keep from fidgeting. Hesitantly, I added, “...he liked it so much, in fact, that he invited Midnight to tour with Fall Out Boy.”

Jack’s dark eyes widened in shock. “No way! That’s great! When did he say the tour would be? Next year?”

I winced. This was the tricky part. As far as Jack knew, we had planned to tour together during this summer’s Warped lineup so we could spend the whole summer together while planning our very time sensitive wedding. If we were going to get married by the end of the year, it had to be August, what with our band’s different touring schedules and recording sessions to work around. As it was, we’d already informed our families and friends to clear their schedules around late August. Problem was, the tour that I had jumped at the chance to join just so happened to overlap with Warped. In other words, I was fucked.

“Yeah, about that...” I pursed my lips, taking an awkwardly large breath before slowly admitting, “Their next tour starts at the end of May.”

Suddenly, Jack’s smile broke. “May as in this year, May?”

I nodded.

He winced, his orbs dripping with sympathy. “Damn, that sucks, Sally. I just hope Pete and the guys’ll keep their offer for the next tour. Maybe something after the new year after we get all situated and everything--”

“They were saying Panic is already locked in. And Tyler and Josh, too, I think. They’re selling it as the ultimate Rock and Roll tour going against the modern Pop driven era.”

“Sounds like a helluva lot of fun.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” I agreed, hoping my selling the tour to him would make him see where I was coming from. I couldn’t pass an opportunity like this up. “And Pete said it’ll be like a world tour, too, so with all the stops they have planned it’ll end just before mid-August--”

“Too bad you’ve already committed to Warped.” Jack’s eyes were now locked onto mine, and I knew he was catching on fast to what I was trying so hard to say. “You did tell them no, right?”

I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. “I...might’ve insinuated that Midnight would be available.”

Any hint of the once happy man in front of me was nothing but shadows as he released his grip on me. “You...what?”

“I couldn’t help it, okay? It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, Jack! Fall Out Boy has been gone for years and who knows when this sort of lineup will happen again. We can’t miss out on it.” I reasoned. “I mean, can you imagine what sort of exposure this’ll give Midnight? It would be great for the band--”

He scoffed. “For fuck’s sake, you agreed to do it for yourself, and you know it. Don’t pretend this was for your band.”

I winced, hurt at the blunt truth he was dishing. Despite this, I still tried to get him to see where I was coming from. “Look, I know we agreed to do Warped, but we can just do Warped together next year.”

“But we were supposed to spend the summer together, Sally!” He groaned in annoyance. “That was the whole point in signing up for Warped in the first place, so we could spend three months together, playing music and planning the wedding together. I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that we still have like, eighty percent of the wedding to plan.”

“We can still plan the wedding, Jack. We’ll just have to do it long distance. Like over skype--we’ll work it out, okay? Just because I signed up for this other tour doesn’t mean that has to be put on hold.”

“I know that!” He narrowed his eyes. “You really think that’s what’s pissing me off at the moment?”

I frowned, taken aback. “Um...yes?”

Jack shook his head. “What’s pissing me off is that you agreed to this without talking to me first.”

This got my blood boiling. “I don’t recall you asking me if it was okay you saunter off to Europe to tour with Green Day.” I snapped.

“That was different--”

“Different, how, exactly?”

“We weren’t married back then, for one--”

“Oh, FINE, Jack! You know what, I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you first but it wasn’t exactly something I could ponder over. It was either sign the contract now or let them pass Midnight up. I couldn’t do that to the rest of the band.”

“But you could up do that to me.”

I groaned again, taking my hands against my cheeks in an annoyance. “God, Jack, you know I didn’t mean it like that. And I would’ve called you if I had more time--”

“No, I get it.” He cut me off, the sarcasm in his voice evident. “This kind of thing doesn’t happen often. But then again, our first summer as husband and wife only happens once, but who’s counting.”

I felt completely torn, the guilt within me bubbling inside as I couldn’t understand why Jack was taking this so personally. I’d made a decision on my own, one that concerned my own career and my own band. His name wasn’t on any of the contracts and I’d be back in time for the wedding. So...why was he getting so angry over it?

“We’ve spent basically all of this year together. Why are you making a big deal over three months?”

“We’re supposed to be a team, making these sorts of decisions together--life changing or not. Do you think I haven’t had offers like that come for All Time Low these past few months? Blink is planning a reunion tour and wanted to work with us...we turned them down because we’d already agreed we’d do Warped with your band.”

I paled, the guilt now full force. Jack had turned down an opportunity for me? “You did what?”

He continued on, ignoring my question. “It would’ve been great for the band, too. It was a month and a half tour of Europe and Asia in some of the biggest venues out there. We would’ve played some of the largest crowds in our career.”

Despite feeling that I was losing this battle, I pressed back, determined to win this argument. “Then you should understand why I couldn’t pass this up. Your band’s got years on mine, and we need exposure that Fall Out Boy can give us.” I watched as Jack’s lips tightened, my eyes widening as I reached for his arm, lowering my voice to a whisper in hopes of cooling down his anger with me. “Babe, I’m sorry that I decided this without talking about it with you first, and I’m sorry that we’ll be a part for three months before the wedding, but we can make this work, I promise.”

He stared at me for what felt like an eternity, his dark eyes bearing into my soul. “You’re really going to do this? It’s not too late, you know. The rest of Midnight has to sign the contract too before it’s official official. Just call Pete and tell him something came up and you--”

“I have to do this, Jack.” I shook my head, hurt that he couldn’t see that. This was huge for Midnight’s career. I couldn’t pass it by, wedding to plan or not. After all, like I tried to tell him, we could still plan the wedding together. Just...virtually instead of in person, is all. “If the guys ever knew I passed this up for them, I...”

He let his head drop and I could hear a heavy sigh escape his lips. He didn’t have to say anything else--I knew I’d disappointed him, and that hurt more than anything. I gulped, wanting so badly to take back the last five minutes, to forget this fight had ever happened. Instead here I was, standing awkwardly in our living room watching Jack storm off to our bedroom, slamming the door behind him and making me flinch.

Guess I’d be sleeping on the couch tonight.

Notes

I can't believe it's been two months. I hope you guys still care about this story, because it's not over:)

Side note, the concert was AMAZING. My friend and I had a blast, especially since we opted for balcony seating instead of braving the GA crowd. I probably would've but since we're a bit older than the rest of the crowd, I'm not sure how much patience my friend would've had with mosh pits and the like lol.

Also, did you guys hear about Cass and Rian??? I'm SOOOOOO sad. I mean, the articles I've seen only point back to one source, so I'll wait to hear from them before I really believe it, but still. Just the fact that it's out there makes me wanna cry. THEY NEED TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER.

Anyway, in my head they will be, I guess. Opening lyrics are from Strong Enough by Sheryl Crow