My Personal Angel

It was winter now. I had grown completely used to Jack being there all the time. Kate would comment on my weird attitude but other than that her and I were doing well together. I had gathered up the courage to text her again and she had figured I was still reeling from the accident. We had been dating for a few months and it was going great. Jack mostly stayed quiet when I was with her but I would still see him there. I figured it was because all he had wanted was to fall in love with someone and get married.

It was nice to have someone on my side on almost everything. I mean, Jack's constant existence around me wasn't always beneficial for my love life but Kate and I made things work. I don't know if I can ever tell her what's going on; she would definitely think I was crazy.

"Don't hurt yourself over there," Jack said as he was laying on my bed.

"Yeah yeah yeah, suck a dick," I replied.

I looked up from the homework I was working on and saw him playing with a yo yo on my bed. He looked so calm, then again what would he have to really be worried about?

"What would I have to be worried about," he asked. "How about your safety?"

"Okay Mom, get out of my head," I replied.

"It's not like it's really my choice. Trust me, I wish I could get out of your head sometimes. I know what you dream about."

I felt my face turn a bright shade of crimson as I thought of the dream I had the other night. I had never thought about the fact that he could probably hear/see what I was. I mean, I was a teenager, I'm going to have some very detailed dreams.

"Yeah yeah, keep defending yourself," Jack snorted.

"Did your ex go to your funeral," I asked out of nowhere.

"Yeah, she did. We did love each other, just, it was the wrong time. She had just gotten accepted into a good college for law and I was going on tour. I felt like I was holding her back. She had so much potential and I couldn't help but feel like I was just another hurdle that she had to get over in order to succeed. The breakup hurt both of us a lot; I tried to make it easier for her but we both were pretty torn up. We were living together until, well, I died. That's why I'm quiet about you and Kate; I'm jealous. I miss Teagan more than I can put to words. She's happy now, I think. I hope so at least."

"I'm sorry Jack, I didn't mean to pry."

"It's something I have to live with, no changing the past."

His face looked unreadable. I didn't mean to strike a nerve with him but I want to know more about someone I'm living with till who knows when. I looked over and he was standing behind me reading the homework I was doing. At this point it didn't scare me when he just appeared. He walked away and turned the TV on and started scrolling through Netflix.

"What are you looking for," I asked.

"I don't know, I've seen most of the stuff on here, I've been dead a while. You know, I still can't do calculus after all this time. You're on your own for that homework," he said. "Have you ever smoked pot?"

"Um, no. Not my thing dude. I'll stick to drinking"

"Come on, you don't know if you don't like it if you don't try it."

"Um, I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't like getting fucked in the ass and I haven't tried that. Thanks but no thanks."

"Well that was a leap, from smoking pot to receiving. Something on your mind buddy?"

"I don't know what you're referring to but I don't receive. I'm bi but dude, I'm a top, trust me."

He threw his head back with a loud laugh. He returned looking at me, wiping a tear from his eyes. I didn't really think it was that funny, maybe it had been a while since he had had a good laugh.

"You've been with me for how long and you didn't pick up I was bi? I thought you saw my dreams and thoughts," I asked.

"I do, I don't know. I guess it just never occurred to me," he asked.

The only sound for the next few minutes is the clicking through Netflix. The silence wasn't comforting anymore; I'd grown accustomed to Jack talking or something.

"Warn me next time you and Kate are gonna have sex," Jack said out of nowhere.

"I'm sorry what," I asked, dropping my pencil and turning to him.

"I popped in the room last time because, well, you said you were gonna 'Netflix and Chill.' I assumed that you would be cuddling and watching Netflix. Instead I pop in the room from getting a book to find you balls deep in your girl."

"Did you fucking watch?!"

"God no, I've seen your O face more times then I would like to admit. Just warn me next time so I can hide in the closet with ear plugs. And I can try to get out of your head. It's times like that I wish I could get drunk so I didn't have to remember it. She must really like you to stay with you from the faces you make."

"How did you not know what 'Netflix and Chill' meant?!"

"Netflix wasn't really a thing before I died. You're also my first.... case?"

"God, you're disgusting!"

"You have no room to talk Alex, remember, I'm in your head."

"You don't really plan sex, it just happens, so I can't really give you a warning Jack!"

He groaned and shoved his face in the pillow. He looked exhausted, I began to wonder if he could sleep. If he could even be tired. When you're an angel do you still have to sleep and such.

"No but sleep is a nice break. I just miss the closeness of Teagan. After we broke up we still shared a one room apartment so we would still share a bed. I can pass a few hours taking a nap but nothing happens if I don't. It's beauty sleep really. I'm just sleeping like I did on tour, a few hours and nothing more. When you fall asleep in someone's arms it's really hard to not anymore. Especially for the rest of your life," he answered my thoughts.

"Do you still check in on her," I couldn't help but ask.

He disappeared leaving the room cold and empty. Did I hit a nerve? Where did he even go? He was supposed to be buy my side at all times and I suddenly felt more alone then I ever had. What was going on?

Notes

A year later here's an update! My life got... busy... we'll say. I adopted a dog, transferred schools, changed my major, got a job, and became financially independent. I finally decided I needed a stress reliever so I'm back!!

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