After seemingly being engulfed forever in pitch-black darkness, I finally heard faint voices, deciding to go to the direction of the voices, the lighting of the surrounding seems less dim. The scene around me unfolded hazily, I was abruptly at Lisa and Alex's house, having an inkling feeling of what is about to happen, and I'm not gonna like it one bit.

I can see from my position perfectly, that Alex and Lisa were at the kitchen seemingly having an argument, whispering and doing hand-gestures making it more than obvious that Lisa is pissed at Alex. Seeing myself, Rian, Zack, Marc, Tom, Marc, Jeff, and even Matt came back from NYC for Alex's 'surprise' announcement. To be honest I should've known what Alex was gonna say, but at the same time how could I? I was his friend before he even knew any of this people. I was Jack fucking Barakat, they were even teasing me by mock congratulating me for being the 'best man' already. It's so fucking obvious that he's suppose to pick me, but he didn't.

Alex and Lisa were finally done arguing, and walked to the living room where the others were joking around. They silenced themselves immediately, while I was looking crestfallen at Alex.
The other me was also looking heartbroken looking at the happy couple.

"As you all now, I'm getting married to this wonderful woman beside me." Lisa smiled at Alex a little bit surprised by his show of affection. "And we've picked who's who at the wedding. Since Lisa already told her friend who will be her maid of honor and bridesmaid, I'm just gonna tell y'all who'll be the minister and so on" He said quite nervously.

The other me smiled at that, quite confidently too. Oh if he only knew the outcome of this, while the other hoot and holler, cheering Alex to go on.

"Okay, quite down. Jeff's going to be the minister." Everyone laughed at that while I chuckled. " And well for my best man, this is really hard for me to choose because all of you are my own brothers, heck if I could I would say all of you were my best man but I can't do that now can I?" He joked halfheartedly. "I picked ....... Rian!"

All of them were silent, quite shocked with the revelation. I couldn't blame them, they all believed I was gonna be the best man.

"Awww dude thank you! I'm honored to be your best man and all, I mean to be honest I'd thought you'd picked Jack out of all of us, not that I don't want to be your best man." he trailed off awkwardly scratching his nape, but hugged Alex all the same.

"CHEERS TO RIAN BEING THE BEST MAN! CONGRATS DUDE." The other me feigned happiness, while smiling the most fake smile I've ever seen."Did you know Alex promised me that if he got married I'D be the BEST MAN 'cause I'm his BEST FRIEND! I made the same promise too, before we were even dating, but I guess promises from high school are only kept if they apply to the fucking BAND... but congrats Lisa
for snagging an asshole!"

Then the others backed away, and looked at the other me if I was being serious and was quite surprised by my outburst, Zack and Matt giving me sympathetic smiles, since they were both the ones who knew the gist of what I'm going through. All I could see at Alex's eyes were a look of horror and hurt, while Lisa was just surprised.

I was looking at myself, sitting alone at the quite living room knowing what's gonna happen next. The other me stormed out of the room and out of the house, slamming the door loudly.

"Don't even try to follow me, ANY of you!", he said before he walked out. The others were left dumbfounded while Alex looked like a kicked puppy, then he ran off after the other me.

I followed the two with a fast pace, going through the wall.

"JACK!" Alex shouted. "JACK COME BACK!"

The other me stopped two houses away, and turned around.

"What do you want Alex?" He's voice quivering, as if he's trying not to cry.

"Jack let me explain."

"Explain what?! You don't have to explain anything to me! It's your choice, and I accept that! Why don't you just ran off to your merry friends, be happy, and leave me the fuck alone!"

"They're your friends too Jack. And if you've already accepted it, them why are you running away, Huh?"

I watched myself be stunned in silence, tears prickling in my eyes, yet to be shed.

"ANSWER ME GODDAMMIT JACK!" Then Alex shook Jack by his shoulders.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME YOU ASSHOLE! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SHOUT AT ME! AND YOU WANT AN ANSWER ALEX? BECAUSE I FUCKING CARED! I WAS HEARTBROKEN TO HEAR THAT YOU WERE GETTING MARRIED FROM A SOCIAL MEDIA SITE AND NOT FROM YOUR OWN MOUTH! I THOUGHT WE WERE BEST FUCKING FRIENDS ALEX, BUT WHAT YOU WERE DOING SINCE THEN, TILL NOW SHOW A LOT ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU DON'T EVEN CONSIDER ME AS YOUR OWN FRIEND, LET ALONE YOUR BEST FRIEND! THEN YOU PICK SOMEONE ELSE WHEN YOU PROMISED ME THAT YOU WERE ALWAYS GONNA PICK ME, THAT I WAS YOUR NUMBER ONE, THAT IT WAS ALWAYS YOU AND ME, JACK AND ALEX AGAINST THE WORLD. YOU ALWAYS PROMISED ME THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS GONNA PICK ME, BUT YOU CHOSE LISA OVER ME, AND YOU CHOSE RIAN OVER ME, YOU EVEN CHOOSE YOUR CAREER AND FAME OVER ME, SO MUCH FOR ALWAYS CHOOSING ME!" The other me was shouting and pointing at Alex's chest by this point, his face red with anger.

"I care about you Jack! I just-"

"Bull fucking shit, Alex." With venom in my voice. I saw Alex leaning away but still staying on his ground, with fear still on his eyes. Fear of what exactly, I don't particularly know till this day.
"Jack, listen to me!" Alex tried to make the other me look at him by holding his chin, but he just shrugged him off. Tears were already streaming at his reddened face, I gotta admit that I looked hideous.

"No Alex, I'm fucking done with all of your shit." The other me looked at Alex wistfully, then walked back to Alex's going straight to his car. Alex just watched Jack drove away far from him, then he walked to his house, with his head down in shame.

I didn't notice that there were tears streaming into my face while I was watching this horrible scene unfold in front of me.

__________________________

My head is pounding, and I can't move at all. I was almost scared to open my eyes, but I did anyways. The bright light momentarily blinding me, blinking rapidly I tried to take away the burning feeling on my eyes, a string of curses leaving my mouth. The person laying on my stomach, whom I've yet to notice, woke up groggily.

Brown eyes met mine. "You're awake! I missed you so much, you scared the crap out of me." While being imprisoned in a bone crushing hug. A repeat of "I miss you's" and "I'll never leave you's." Feeling awkward at my predicament, I slowly pushed him away from me, and move as far from him as my bed could allow.

"Alex what're you doing here?"

"Jack ...... where do you expect I would be when my best friend is at a hospital?" he sadly uttered.

"Alex, we haven't even been friends for a long time, much less best friends."

"Jack let me explain, please. I chose those things over you, because I don't want you to deal with the shitty consequences when we do come out, when the media does find out about us. Jack what if they'd found out? They'd hate us, hurt us, hell even threaten us, I-I couldn't de-"

"You? Of course it's always about you Alex. You never cared about anything else, but yourself!"

"Jacky I-" the nickname slipping through his lips, punching me in the gut. He hasn't called me Jacky for years now.

"FORGET IT ALEX!" Snapping at him, "I don't need your petty excuses and apologies, for your actions these past few years."

"It just wasn't worth the risk, please understand that."

"So you're basically saying I wasn't worth it?"

"No! Yes? I don't fucking know Jack! Fuck, can you stop being so complicated?" he was getting frustrated at me, pulling at his already disheveled hair.

"I'm being complicated? You're fucking unbelievable!"

"Jack it just wasn't worth-"
"NO! Fuck you, I was fucking worth it Alex. Just leave already." He sighed, finally contemplating leaving me alone. Thankfully, he stood up and walked towards the door.

"You're still my groomsman at my wedding, if you're even planning to come." Not looking at me once, he opened the door and left.

Sighing, I deliberated if I should go to the wedding at all.

__________________________

Oh, Alex.

I remember our romance and friendship so well, don't you? I mean, I'm not bitter at you, or anything, of course I'm not. I could never be. You're too innocent and loving, sweet and caring for me to even be mad at. I can't be mad at you. I could never be mad at you, even after all of that.

But you remember it, right? Our romance? It was an epic one, like Hazel and Gus, Jack and Sally, Victor and Emily. Like me and Home Alone. It was unbreakable, our love. Wasn't it? Wasn't that what you told me since I formally asked you to be my boyfriend in sophomore year? Alex, when I asked you out, you cried. I thought I had messed up big time. I couldn't fix that, could I? Then you were telling me yes, you were telling me you loved me so much, and you were crying into my shoulder with happy tears, telling me you thought that I would never ask. That was sophomore year, and I'm twenty-seven now. You're already twenty-eight, and I'm still going through all of this crap for almost what? Since we broke up right after High School, you were a decent friend until 2009 came, maybe the fame finally got into your head, I remember your promise to me that you'll finally come out once we get famous, but you never did. You only ignored my existence once we've actually gotten famous.

I don't know why I'm even thinking about this, Alex. I guess my mind finally became insane and just gave up of pushing our happy memories to the back of my mind. I just want to remind you of what we were, what I was to you, and what you are to me. I don't even know for sure what'll happen next, but these thoughts have been pushed for so long, now that it's finally out it's agonizing. They're pounding on my brain and they want out, so this is what's becoming of it. I guess you could say that this is the story of our romance, and how it ended abruptly.

After we became a real couple, I can't remember a time when we were apart for more than forty-eight hours. We rearranged our schedules so we could walk to all our classes together, remember? I remember when we had chemistry together. You kept making jokes, saying we had chemistry together, and you weren't just talking about the class. Then you'd wink and bump your hip on mine, and I'd spill whatever chemicals we were working with. I loved chemistry class, but I'm pretty sure that you're the reason I ended up failing it, but for some reason I didn't regret failing that class, because I was with you.

In our junior year, we went to prom together. Or, we almost did. Remember, we paid at the door, as a couple? And then the staff told us we couldn't go in because we were a same sex couple. Wasn't that bullshit, Alex? I remember how upset you were. You were really looking forward to prom. I remember you wouldn't stop crying, couldn't believe how much money you spent on asking me (though I still would have been more than happy with a simple 'will you go to prom with me?'), couldn't believe how expensive your suit was. I remember I held you the rest of the night, and we slow danced in your kitchen in our pajamas. Your mom still has pictures of it. It was one of my favorite nights, despite the disaster that came with it.

Senior year and we were still together. People accepted us when we went public with our relationship, and you were so, so happy about it. But you changed, you broke up with me, ignored me for the rest of Senior year, it even affected the band, and somewhat going on a hiatus. You suddenly had a girlfriend, you were always affectionate with her at the hallways. I remembered being a wreck after finding out, jealousy filling my body to the brim.

One day someone knocked incessantly at my door, once opening it I was shocked to see it was you since you haven't gone to my house since our break up. I almost slammed the door, but the look on your face was so heartbroken, I just couldn't. I found out that she cheated on you that day, making me hate her more, I tried to comfort you that day, saying she wasn't worth it. That day there was an unsaid truce between both of us, and after that we grew closer than ever.

Fast forward to your twenty second birthday. You had too much to drink and you kept saying, don't leave me, Jacky, don't leave me. I sat with you as you hurled and hurled and hurled and I don't think I ever saw a person throw up that much. Ever. In my entire life. But you handled it so well, and you fell asleep so softly on my lap. You told me you loved me as I fell asleep. Those words still ring in my head in your voice to this day, Alex. I don't ever want to stop hearing you tell me you love me.

But of course, like the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. You became distant after your birthday, once we released Nothing Personal, we'd hit it big, we became the band we wanted to be, but I would've traded all of that to go back to the days when we were together, you and me, just Jack and Alex, Alex and Jack.

But we became more famous, with that you became more distant, to me mostly. You dated Lisa again, I was heartbroken, again. I dealt with you, made an effort for Jalex on interviews and tours, I tried to look happy and carefree for the fans, and for my sanity. Those moments are the times where I can distract myself from the reality.

Now here I am, being pathetic yet again.

Standing next to you at the altar, waiting for your bride-to-be. Smiling as best as I can at the photographer.

Hearing both of you say your vows passionately to each other, right in front of me. Rings exchanged with love. A kiss to seal the deal. First dance as husband and wife. Congratulations from everyone to both of you. I would've thought it was a very beautiful, heartfelt wedding, I would really, but I was just so heartbroken. I couldn't deal with it, fair to say I'm a sore loser.

The reception came, people rejoiced for the happy couple, celebrating, eating, dancing, joking around, and getting drunk. Everyone is so happy, I wish I could feel the same.

Everyone is Snapchatting everything, recording every blissful moment, me attempting to fake a smile the whole time, for fear that people will notice I'm very much unhappy. I always used parties as a distraction, but this party is the most torturous thing I have ever gone through, except for loving Alex and the feelings not being reciprocated.

Everyone is so happy, and here I am trying to drown myself into liquor until I was pulled again into darkness.
Never to see the light ever again.

Notes

So I posted this originally on wattpad, but it didn't get noticed, so I purposely published it here to make amends to my readers on the fic I've been working on. So hope you enjoyed this!

Anyways before any of you ask the ending 'never to see the light again' can be metaphorical, or him actually dying from alcohol poisoning. (I do NOT WANT THAT TO EVER HAPPEN OK) so yeah it can be what you want it to be.