Stay Together for the Kids

When Alex wakes up, it’s almost seven a.m. He’s already stressed out because he’s got to get the kids up. Ethan has school and Violet has preschool. Two different locations far from each other and he has to rush to get Violet there on time. And he also has to feed them both breakfast before because Violet’s school doesn’t provide it and Ethan’s so picky, he won’t eat anything the school serves.
Of course, when he wakes up, Jack’s already gone. He almost always is, which, of course, means that Alex has to do all of this by himself. It’d be really helpful if he could at least take one of their kids to school, but of course, he can’t. He doesn’t have time. He’s always at that damned office. Alex is lucky if he sees Jack once a week, in a place that is not their bed. And even then, he’s sleeping.
This morning, Ethan doesn’t want to get up and Violet has a tummy ache so it’s even more stressful than usual. He eventually bribes Ethan with blueberry pancakes (which takes a really long time, too) and gives Violet children’s tums and all is well again.
But they’re running late when they get out the door that morning and that just gives Alex even more anxiety. He’s got a stress headache by the time he gets Violet to school, but they make it in time. This, of course, does not ease his stress, however. He’s still got a full day ahead of him.
First, he has to drop off Jack’s dry cleaning. Jack’s the creative executive at a huge advertising company and this requires him to wear expensive, uncomfortable suits and loafers that he hates and has to have professionally cleaned every week. Alex is a bit late this week, but Jack hasn’t noticed, so he’s decided not to give a shit. Jack hasn’t noticed anything lately.
He then goes to the grocery store to pick up a few things that are missing from their refrigerator and cupboards. This is mostly due to the fact that he has to prepare lunches for both of his children and his husband and all three of them are very particular about what they eat. Ethan is picky; Violet has many food allergies. And Jack, he just gets tired of the same things over and over. He hasn’t complained about it in a long time, but then again, he and Jack don’t really talk anymore.
After the grocery store, he goes home and does laundry and housework. He’s the only one that does it. This doesn’t bother him that much, considering he doesn’t work and Jack does. The kids have school, too. However, it really wouldn’t kill Jack to do the dishes every once in a while or fold a load of laundry. Or, you know, to put his fucking clothes in the hamper after he changes. But he doesn’t and there isn’t much Alex can do about it because Jack is constantly working. He hates this time of his day because it’s so damned quiet. No one’s home and he’s just completely alone.
But that only lasts for a while, because soon after he’s finished the household chores, he’s able to leave again and go see John; easily the best part of his day. John always greets him with a big smile and a giant hug. He likes John’s hugs a lot. They completely envelope him and make him feel warm and safe. Jack’s used to feel like that, but Jack doesn’t hug him anymore. Even better than his hugs are his kisses. Deep and long and head spinning, they make Alex temporary forget about all of the shit that he has to deal with at home. And then when John pulls him into his apartment, into his bed, Alex knows that everything will be okay for at least a little while.
Unfortunately, it always ends way too soon and that sends spiraling back into the real world. He has to go pick up Violet, then Ethan, and then speed home to start dinner and get them ready for the next day. Sometimes, if he’s lucky (or arguably, unlucky) Jack makes it home in time to eat with them. But today is one of the days that he does not, so it’s just Alex, Ethan, and Violet at dinnertime. He’s not in his chair and Violet is teary and fussy because she misses her daddy. Alex doesn’t blame her, but it also hurts that she isn’t ever as happy to see him as she is Jack. Ethan usually stays quiet about it, but Alex knows that he really misses Jack, too.
He gives the kids baths and puts them to bed, Violet requesting not one, but three stories, and by then, Alex is bone tired. But he still has to make the lunches for the next day, so he does that and then he takes a hot shower. When he gets out, Jack still isn’t home, but that isn’t a surprise. He just goes to bed and falls asleep before his head hits the pillow.

*
It’s six a.m. when Jack gets out of bed and he’s still really worn out, but he ignores it. There’s a huge merger going on at work and he’s pretty much in charge of it. That means that he has to be at work constantly, to oversee everything and ensure that nothing goes wrong. It’s stressful, but he has a family that he has to provide for and due to all of this overtime, he’s making damn good money. Well, that’s his excuse for constantly being gone, anyhow.
He doesn’t bother waking Alex up; it’s simply too early. The kids don’t have to get up for another hour, so there’s no reason to disturb him. He knows that Alex is tired. He does do a lot, after all. That’s pretty much all he knows about him lately, however. They barely speak anymore and Jack can’t remember the last time he’s even touched his husband besides accidentally brushing by him in the bed.
He showers and gets dressed quickly, eats a banana for breakfast. He grabs his lunch that Alex prepared for him the day before and his briefcase, and then he’s gone to work for the day. On his commute, he does his best not to think about Ethan and Violet and how he feels like he’s missing literally everything in their lives. Ethan won the spelling bee in his class a week ago and Jack only found out because he saw the certificate of achievement on the coffee table. Violet lost a tooth last month and he didn’t know it until she asked if the tooth fairy had any pets. He feels like he’s missing everything, but he doesn’t have a choice. He has to work. Because Alex doesn’t and otherwise? They’d be homeless.
Granted, Alex offered to work. But someone had to be at home with their kids when they were little and because Jack’s job paid a lot, it only made sense for Alex to quit his job at a music store. He was a manager so he obviously made fairly good money, but Jack’s simply paid more. And right before Alex found out he was pregnant with Ethan, Jack had been given a great promotion. That had pretty much designated Alex as the stay-at-home parent.
Jack works all day, barely taking a lunch break. He’s incredibly busy right now. With the merger going on, the company has taken in many new employees and it’s Jack’s job to train them. He has a couple people helping him, but every presentation and lecture has to be given by him. It’s exhausting, but it has to be done and he knows that he’s definitely the best person for the job. Not to mention that he gets a great deal of paid overtime for it. That part is especially nice. He likes that Alex never has to worry about money.
At around five o’clock that day, however, he has to go on a short break to breathe, as he tells his coworkers. In reality, he goes into his office and pops a couple Adderalls. They keep him alert and focused so that he won’t think so much about Alex and the kids while he’s got such an important job to do.
He doesn’t get to leave work until past nine and when he finally makes it home, everyone is asleep. Dinner is waiting for him on the stove. He quickly heats it up in the microwave and then eats it alone in the kitchen with only the dim glow of his iPhone to keep him company. And once that’s done, he’s so exhausted that he just tiptoes down the hallway to his and Alex’s bedroom, strips down to his boxers, and slides into bed beside his husband. Alex is deep in sleep and Jack doesn’t want to disturb him, so he just lays down and begins to drift off.
It isn’t until way into the next day that he realizes that it’s their anniversary.
*
It’s breakfast time and surprisingly, Jack hasn’t left yet. Ethan is scribbling down the homework Alex forgot to make him do the night before and Violet is chattering animatedly about an animal expert that will be visiting her class today.
“Do you think he’ll bring a puppy, Daddy?!” she asks Jack excitedly, little bits of scrambled egg flying off of her spoon.
He bends down to pick it up when he sees the exasperation on Alex’s face. He slides it onto a napkin and then folds it into halves, nodding his head. “Hopefully,” he responds, seeing Alex’s frown fade, hair falling into his eyes as he looks over Ethan’s shoulder.
“Homework is stupid,” Ethan says, shoving the paper away. Ethan is smart, smarter than most kids his age. Really and truly, he should have just skipped second grade and went straight onto third, but that’s another thing that Alex is putting off and that Jack doesn’t have time for.

Alex sighs, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I know it’s really easy for you, buddy, but that just means it won’t take you very long.”
Ethan makes a face, but he picks up his pencil again. He likes challenges. He does puzzles and puts together models for fun. Sometimes, he even gets out his math book just to solve the problems it contains. He’ll deny it to his grave, though, so don’t ask him about it.
Violet, on the other hand, just wants a dog of her own. She loves animals and she’ll watch the animal planet for hours on end, looks at her animal books, and stares longingly at the pages, wishing with all of her might for a dog or cat or even iguana of her own.
But Jack knows that another person in the house will only drive him crazier than he already is.
Jack swallows down the rest of his coffee and kisses the top of Violet’s head. “Daddy’s gotta head off now,” he told her.
Like she always does, Violet pouts and shakes her head. “No, Daddy. Stay here with me!”
Jack always smiles when she says this. It’s nice to think that someone will actually miss him when he’s gone. But it also hurts because Violet looks just like Alex and Alex used to care, too. He wonders if that’s how Alex feels when he looks at Ethan.
“I can’t, baby,” he says with a chuckle. “You know Daddy has to work.”
Violet shakes her head, her lower lip trembling and Jack sighs because this is her showing the early signs of a tantrum.
“I’ll be back before you know it,” Jack whispers to her. “Don’t forget, there might be a puppy at school today.”
Violet considers this and finally, sits back down. “Okay, Daddy,” she says, going back to her breakfast.
Jack smiles, relieved, and kisses the top of her head. He then gives Ethan a hug and kiss and tells him to have fun at school. Ethan snorts and shrugs before going back to his homework. Jack glances at Alex, wanting to say goodbye, to kiss him and tell him that he’ll miss him. But he knows that it’s futile so he just picks up his briefcase and heads out.

*
It’s when Alex realizes that the day before was his and Jack’s seventh wedding anniversary that he drops all errands that he’d had planned for the afternoon. Surely he could buy paper towels and toothpaste the day after. They weren’t completely out just yet, anyway. He calls John immediately and thankfully, he’s available. He just needs to be picked up from work. All that’s left to worry is about is the kids. Alex is sure that Jack can pick the kids up one day. He can’t call him, not after he’d forgotten their anniversary. Even though he knows that Jack more than likely did so, as well, he just feels too guilty. He simply texts Jack a simple, ‘can you pick the kids up? I’m a little held up.’
He’s surprised when he gets an almost automatic ‘yes’ in response. He doesn’t bother saying thank you because he doesn’t want to prolong the conversation. He just drives to the little sandwich shop that John works at and waits outside impatiently. It’s raining and there’s a lot of people out, it being lunchtime. And he feels completely trapped and congested, not just because of all of the people and the shitty weather. But his shitty life.
He loves his kids, he really does. And once upon a time, he’d loved Jack, too. However, certain circumstances have completely changed both he and Jack. They’re not the same people that they were when they were eighteen and foolish, believing that love and Blink-182 could get them anywhere in life.
He’s so relieved when he sees John that he throws the car door open, jumps out of it, and flings himself into his lover’s arms. John is surprised and hugs him back, both of them getting soaked by the downpour. Alex leans up and kisses him hard, desperate for some kind of affection. His heart is hurting and so is his head and stomach. He can’t believe that he and Jack have both forgotten their anniversary for God’s sake. He can’t believe his marriage has crumbled to that point.
Thunder booms around them and John calmly suggests that they get into the car. Alex eventually hears him and climbs into the driver’s side. Once John is in, too, he blares a custom CD that Jack made him for him years ago and drives away, his mind focused solely on the infidelity that would soon occur, as it had so many times before.

*
For whatever reason, Jack forgets his lunch that day and it isn’t until halfway through his lunch hour that he realizes it. He’s been working hard, completely focused and uninterrupted, but then his stomach growls and it registers that he needs to eat. He actually leaves the building today for lunch, something that he hasn’t done in a very long time. When they were younger, he used to meet Alex for lunch, almost always at a small café that not many people knew about, but they loved. He’s not going there today.
He doesn’t have a lot of time, so he decides to just go to a popular sandwich shop near the office. It’s started to rain and his windshield wipers are working furiously. The cars in front of and behind him are as impatient as he is, but he ignores the honking and avoids the thought of hydroplaning. That could very well cause him to crash into someone and thus, someone else would probably hit him and it would all snowball from there. He’s not exactly happy, but he doesn’t want to die yet, especially for Ethan and Violet’s sake.
When he pulls into the shop, he sees a familiar SUV, but he doesn’t think much about it. After all, it is lunchtime. The vehicle clearly belongs to his husband, he’d know it anywhere. He parks his car and sits for a moment.
When he looks up, he sees a blond man running out of the shop, getting drenched. Obviously, he’s trying to get out of the torrential downpour. But what’s really surprising is that Alex gets out of the SUV and runs into the man’s arms. Jack feels his gut twist, but he keeps watching. He doesn’t want to know if his suspicions are true, but he also does. That’s when his heart absolutely drop.
Because right before his eyes, Alex is kissing another man. Another man has not kissed Alex. Alex has kissed another man. And it’s not just a kiss. It’s a desperate, open-mouthed, too much tongue, too much teeth kiss that Jack hasn’t experience with Alex in quite a long time.
He can’t breathe, but he also can’t tear his eyes away. He watches, heartbroken, as Alex climbs into the car with the tall, blond man. He sits for a long time, a long time after Alex and the man have left. He can’t move, because he knows that when he does, he’s going to break.

After a long time of just staring out the window, Jack finally puts the car in reverse and takes a deep breath. He doesn’t let himself cry until he’s back in his office alone and has the door locked. He cries until he can’t breathe and his stomach hurts; until his eyes sting and his head aches. His body feels as though it weighs one thousand pounds and he falls into his desk chair, closing his eyes as tear after tear falls from his eyes.
He never cries, at least not like this. This is the first time that Alex has made him cry anything but happy tears. He just knows that it’s over, their marriage. Every memory, good and bad, is going to be just that: a memory. Ethan and Violet are going to grow up in a broken home and Jack will be lucky if he gets to see them every other weekend.
It’s this thought that has him wanting to scream and kick things over, but he doesn’t. Instead, he reaches into his desk drawer and pulls out a couple Valiums.
Soon, he’s feeling much better.
*

Alex is napping with John hours later when his phone rings and wakes him up. He jolts awake and looks to his left, where John is still sleeping peacefully. He sighs with relief and grabs his phone. He has twelve missed calls, some from Violet’s school, some from Ethan’s, and some from his mother. He frowns and instantly calls his mother, panic settling in. He doesn’t have any missed calls from Jack, so surely he and the kids are okay.
Isobel answers on the second ring and instantly starts speaking. “Alex, where are you?”
Obviously, his mother doesn’t know about his affair with John, so he swallows hard and repeats his poorly constructed lie, “a-at home. Why?”
“Your children are at my house,” she says coldly. “They both called me an hour after Ethan’s school let out and two after Violet’s did. No one came and picked them up.”
Alex’s frown deepens and he feels his blood begin to boil. Of course Jack forgot. He always does. “Jack was supposed to pick them up today,” he says with a groan. “I have no idea why he didn’t. I haven’t spoken to him since this morning. I’m on my way,” he says, crawling out of the bed and begins getting dressed.
Isobel huffs. “Frankly, Alex, I think you should leave them here for now. It’s clear that you and Jack have a lot to work out. And it needs to be done today.”
Alex’s heart drops because he knows that his mother’s right. She never uses this tone with him and despite the fact that he should be upset that his mother has more or less told him that he can’t pick up his own children, he knows that this is the final straw. He and Jack can avoid each other all they want, but when their kids start getting affected, it’s time to draw the line. He bites his lip and nods, though he knows that she can’t see it. “Y-yeah, alright. We’ll come by tomorrow morning and get them. I’m sorry. I can’t believe this happened.”
Isobel sighs. “I know you didn’t mean for it to,” she says softly. “But this is completely unacceptable. Whatever issues you and Jack are having can’t involve the kids. And this certainly can’t happen again.”
“Yeah, I know,” Alex says, pulling on his jeans. “I really am sorry. Thanks for picking them up, Mom.”
“You’re welcome,” Isobel replies, before she hangs up.
Alex slides his phone into his pocket and then yanks on his shirt and jacket. He sits down on the bed to pull on his shoes and then glances over to where John was sleeping and sighed softly. He was starting to feel guilty, but he knew that shouldn’t. This was all Jack’s fault after all. He was the one that was ignoring Alex. He was the one that was supposed to pick up Ethan and Violet. He was the one that stopped loving Alex.
Without leaving a note or a text or anything at all, Alex leaves John’s apartment and drives straight home.
*
Of course, when he gets there, Jack isn’t home. It’s only a little past five, though, which means he probably either just got off work or he has a little bit of time left. Alex doesn’t know what to do. He’s too stressed to cook or clean or sit still and watch TV or read a book. He settles for pacing in front of their front door and anxiously pulling back their satin curtains as he waits.
The time passes slowly and he constantly checks his phone for it. But then, it’s six o’clock and then seven, and Jack still isn’t home. Alex isn’t worried; he’s pissed off. Jack frequently comes home late from work, but on those days, he hadn’t forgotten about their kids. He wants to give up and just go tell his mom to give him his kids back, but then it’s nine thirty and Jack’s car finally pulls into the drive and the garage door goes up.
Alex goes and sits primly on the sofa, waiting impatiently for his husband to come in. When Jack finally does, his feet are dragging, his eyes are bloodshot and have bags underneath them, and he just overall looks exhausted. But Alex can’t feel sorry for him, not now.
He jumps to his feet and waits for Jack to take off his coat and put down his briefcase before he approaches him. Jack barely even glances at him before giving him a blank look. He has the audacity to try to push by Alex, but Alex doesn’t let him go. He angrily grabs his wrist and pulls him back. “We need to talk,” he says through gritted teeth.
Jack turns around and frowns at him. “We do?” he asks.
Alex can barely contain his anger now and he lets out a cold chuckle, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. “Where are Violet and Ethan?”
Jack is silent for a moment, his brows furrowing. His eyes widen and his mouth drops open. “Fuck,” he whispers under his breath.
Alex glares at Jack. “Fuck?” he repeats mockingly. “That’s all you can say?! You forgot about our fucking kids, Jack! And that’s all you can say?!”
Jack is silent for a moment, biting his lip. He has a lot to say, but he can’t make the words come out. He feels too guilty. Ethan and Violet do not deserve this.
“They’re at my mom’s,” Alex says quietly. “The school’s called her and they’re staying with her tonight.” He takes a deep breath and shakes his head.
“Honestly, Jack,” Alex continues, pacing back and forth in front of his husband. “You’ve
been forgetting everything lately. I guess it doesn’t matter, but this cannot ever happen again. This is the most irresponsible, idiotic fucking thing you’ve ever done. This time, they were at school where it’s safe, but what about next time?! Anyone could pick them up! Do you not get that?!”
Jack sighs quietly, his teeth digging even deeper into his bottom lip, his fists at his side shaking. He still doesn’t say anything, waiting for Alex to finish. He knows that if he interjects now, they’ll never get through this.
Alex takes a deep breath and brushes his hair out of his face, which is beet red. His body is shaking with anger and he’s having trouble catching his breath now. He’s just so angry with Jack that he can hardly contain himself. “You’re never, ever home anymore,” he spits, “and you know what? What the fuck ever, I can handle it. I do everything around here and I never even get a thank you. But one time, one fucking time, I ask you to do something and you can’t even do that. I don’t know what-”
“Shut up, Alex,” Jack says through gritted teeth. “Just shut up for half a second.” He’s finally had enough. He steps forward, getting closer to Alex’s face, absolutely seething.
Alex isn’t frightened at all by Jack’s tone and demeanor. He’s too upset. “Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?” he asks coldly. “Fucking absent father and husband.”
And that’s the final straw for Jack.
“You know what?!” Jack explodes, grabbing Alex’s shoulders roughly. “Fuck you. Fuck you! Fuck you for even saying that. I wouldn’t have even have had to pick them up today if you weren’t off fucking your little boyfriend,” he spits bitterly, squeezing Alex’s shoulders hard.
Alex yelps in both pain and surprise. Jack’s fingers are holding him in a vise grip and he’s stunned, completely taken aback at the fact that Jack knows. Or seemingly knows.
“W-what?” Alex squeaks, eyes peering into Jack’s.
Jack’s eyes are so dark that Alex can’t find his pupils. He’s rarely seen his husband like this and it’s honestly terrifying. “What is it, Alex?” Jack asks in a mocking tone. “Surprised that I know?”
Alex doesn’t reply, swallowing hard. He doesn’t know what to say to get himself out of this.
“You’re speechless, aren’t you, Lex?” Jack asks with a dry, laugh. He lets go of Alex’s shoulders, turning around and facing the wall. He’s so close to crying and he doesn’t want Alex to see. “I forgot my lunch today so I went to the sandwich shop on the corner because it’s close to work. I drove up and I saw your car. It was no big deal until I saw you jump out and run to some guy and start making out with him, right there in front of everyone and in the rain, nonetheless. So don’t you even start blaming me for this. If you actually cared about our kids, you’d hold off on getting fucked at least until they got out of school.”
Alex glares at Jack’s back and then lunges forward, grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around. “The only reason I’m even seeing John is because of you!” he exclaims angrily. “I’m so sick of everything! I’m stuck in this house all of the fucking time, all I do is chores and the only conversations I have are with kids. Unless I’m with John; certainly not when I’m with you. Because you know what? I’m never with you. You never speak to me, you don’t touch me, you don’t even look at me anymore!” Alex screams before biting his lip hard, trying not to cry.
“All you ever do is work. Sometimes you talk to the kids, but never, ever me. I was so lonely until I met John,” he says softly, shaking his head. Then he looks up and glares back at Jack. “And then, yesterday, you forgot our anniversary! That’s what made me go to him. This is all your fucking fault!”
Jack rolls his eyes, glaring back at Alex. “You forgot, too, asshole. Don’t try to blame this all on me. You forgot our anniversary, too, don’t even pretend like you didn’t. And I didn’t just stop talking to you, you stopped talking to me, too. If you were feeling all of this, you should have told me, not ran off to another man.” He shakes his head sadly. “Do you know how much seeing you with someone else hurt me?” he asks softly, his chest aching again. More tears threatened to fall down his face, but unlike earlier that day, he wasn’t going to let them fall.
Alex snorted. “Yeah, it took me having an affair to get you to notice me. Boo-fucking-hoo. What does that say about our relationship, Jack? We’re completely fucked up and it’s all because of you. You’ve ruined everything,” he says with a sharp scowl. He steps forward, shoving Jack as hard as he can.
Jack isn’t expecting it and he falls backward awkwardly, crying out. He steadies himself on his feet, but he’s so angry now that he can’t control himself. He flies at Alex and slams him against the wall, pinning his wrists above his head. “You ungrateful little shit. Everything I’ve ever done has been for you. You and our family. And now, you’re sleeping with someone else and blaming it all on me. Well, you haven’t exactly made my life a fucking picnic, either,” he snarls squeezing Alex’s wrists. Alex struggles against him, but Jack is too strong and holds him steadfastly in place.
“I hate my goddamn job right now. I hate it so much. Everyone’s always on my ass and I have to go in early and stay late. If I don’t, I lose my job. That’s fucking it. I lose my job and we lose everything. I’d rather never see my family than let them go hungry. But I’m always so tired and so stressed that I can barely keep it together. I want to come home and see all of you more than anything, but I just can’t. When I wake up, you’re all asleep. When I get home, you’re almost always in bed. That’s no one’s fault, but it gets so hard to function sometimes, especially today. I need an Adderall on good days. But today, I had to take Valium just to keep myself from jumping out of the window in my office.”
Alex was trying hard to keep it together during Jack’s little spiel and thankfully, whatever sadness he was feeling was completely pushed aside due to wrath. “None of this would have happened if you wouldn’t have stopped loving me,” he spits bitterly. Once the last word is out of his mouth, he brings his knee up and knees Jack in the crotch.
Jack cries out in pain, dropping Alex’s wrists and doubling over. Alex tries to make a break for it, planning on circling around Jack, but he doesn’t make it because Jack notices and lunges forward, knocking Alex back against the wall and holding him in place with his shoulder.
“Wh-who the fuck said I stopped loving you?” Jack says resentfully, digging his shoulder harder into Alex.
Alex squirms, trying to get away. He whimpers in pain and then replies, “you didn’t have to say it.”
Jack shakes his head, his features softening a little. He pulls away, staring down at Alex sadly. “I could never stop loving you,” he whispers before leaning down and pulling Alex into his arms.
He doesn’t embrace Alex, he just forces him to his feet and then he forces his mouth against Alex’s. Jack is pretty much convinced that their marriage is over, but he can’t let go of Alex now, not when they’re both so heated and emotional.
To his surprise, Alex kisses him back just as fervently, wrapping his arms around Jack’s neck and his legs around his waist. Jack moves his hands down to Alex’s ass, holding him up as he pushes his tongue into Alex’s mouth. Alex does the same and Jack carries Alex to their bedroom.
Jack is surprised that Alex hasn’t protested yet, but that doesn’t slow him down. He drops Alex down onto their bed and then crawls in between his legs, kissing him hard again. Their tongues slid together desperately, their mouths open, and their teeth clacking together. It reminds Jack of what he’d seen earlier between Alex and John. That thought brings back the intense anger he felt earlier and he bites down hard on Alex’s bottom lip. Alex doesn’t seem to notice, as he just moans and rocks his hips up against Jack’s.
Jack can’t help but groan back at him as he glances down. Alex is so hot and he’ll never be able to deny that. But he’s not just his anymore. Jack isn’t the only person that gets to see him like this and that makes him furious and hurt and all kinds of things that he’s never experienced before. Alex has never given him a reason to be jealous until now.
He pulls away for a moment, unbuttoning his shirt. There’s a lot of them and it’s taking him a long time. Alex scoffs in impatience and sits up, popping the buttons off of the shirt. Jack glances down at Alex, who has a small smile on his face. In any other situation, he might have smiled back. However, he’s angry with Alex and he can’t get his mind off of what Alex had been doing with someone else. He shrugs out of the shirt as Alex looks down, sensing that Jack is still angry with him. Alex pulls his polo shirt off and then leans in to kiss Jack again, wrapping his arms around him.
The kiss is hot and desperate again; Alex moves to sit in Jack’s lap, grinding down against him. Low moans are coming from his lips as Jack kisses down his jaw to his neck, biting and sucking the skin there. He’s always loved this, but Jack’s being especially rough today, sucking love bites all over his shoulders and collarbones. He knows that they can’t very well let the kids see them, but he sucks a small one onto his neck anyway. He can cover them up. And the others will only be seen by Jack — and possibly John. Jack doesn’t want to think about Alex sleeping with John again, especially when he can already smell the foreign cologne on his husband’s skin, but at least now in the event that Alex does go to him again, John will see the marks and know that Alex is Jack’s.
Alex whimpers, moving his hands to Jack’s crotch, unbuttoning and unzipping his slacks. Jack pulls off of his neck for just a moment to shimmy out of them and then he reconnects his mouth to Alex’s. He unbuttons and unzips Alex’s jeans and together, they slide them down Alex’s legs. Jack ruts his hips up against Alex’s through cotton boxers. It’s very clear to each of them of the other’s arousal, so Jack slides his fingers under Alex’s waistband and slides them down. He quickly does the same with his own and then reaches over to his bedside table where the barely used bottle of lube is tucked away in a drawer. He flicks the cap open and then quickly smooths a generous amount onto his cock.
It’s been a while since they had sex, but usually, they had way more foreplay than this. Whether it be more touching or blow jobs or even rimming, it was hardly ever as straight forward as it was now. But Jack is angry. He’s disgusted with Alex and with himself for allowing themselves get to this level of fucked up.
“Turn around,” he instructs, not wanting to see Alex’s face as he fucked him. He was too pissed.
Alex frowns slightly before nodding and lying on his stomach, ass up in the air. Jack wastes no time in pushing into him, knowing that he doesn’t need prep. Surely, he had enough when he was with John earlier. The thought makes him feel sick and he swallows hard, trying not to start crying again. He stares down at Alex’s body, ignoring the surprised noise that he makes when Jack enters him, mostly because he moans loudly right after. Jack hisses at the contact, gritting his teeth. Despite everything, Alex is still so tight and perfect. He wastes no time in pounding into his husband hard, over and over, gripping his hips tightly enough to leave finger-shaped bruises. He wants to hurt him, but even more than that, he wants Alex to remember who he belongs to.
He moves one hand up into Alex’s hair, grabbing a handful and yanking hard on it, pulling Alex’s face back so that he could look at him. Alex yelps in pain, but he makes no moves to get away from Jack. Jack leans forward and kisses Alex hard as he’s fucking him, their teeth clacking together. “You. Are. Mine,” Jack says through gritted teeth, just as he hits Alex’s prostate dead on.
“Fuck!” Alex exclaims, closing his eyes. “Y-yes, Jack! I am,” he mumbles, rocking back against his cock.
Jack smirks, letting go of Alex’s hair and moves his arms around his torso. He leans forward, running his tongue down the shell of Alex’s ear and then biting down on his earlobe. As he does this, he constantly fucked against Alex’s sweet spot, knowing full well that neither of them will be able to hold off much longer. They haven’t fucked this fast since they were in high school.
“M’close,” Alex squeaks and Jack smirks because he’s right. He moves a hand around to Alex’s cock and strokes him along with his thrusts, which have grown messy and erratic. He’s so close, too.
Soon, Alex is crying out Jack’s name and spilling into his hand. He clenches around Jack and then he’s gone, too, digging his nails deep into Alex’s skin and thrusting a couple more times. He pants, pulling out of his husband and collapsing beside him.
Usually, he would take the opportunity to pull Alex close and hold him until they fell asleep, but not now. Something between them has shattered and Jack just hopes it’s not everything.
It’s silent for a long time, the two of them lying in their four-poster bed together, but not touching. The only sound that can be heard is their soft breathing and the beating of their hearts.
“Jack?” Alex finally says, turning onto his side to face his husband.
Jack ignores him, swallowing hard and trying to not glare too much.
Alex whines, looking away. He reaches out and his hand brushes Jack’s shoulder.
Jack immediately groans and moves away from him. “Don’t touch me,” he spits. “I can’t deal with it right now.”
Alex frowns. “So, you can fuck me with no problems, but I can’t touch you? That’s nice.”
Jack shrugs. “You made this bed. So don’t complain about lying in it.”
Alex is silent for a few minutes longer, lying down on his back again. Soon, there are tears in his eyes and he’s sniffling hard, trying not to get Jack’s attention. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, barely audibly.
Jack closes his eyes when he hears Alex crying, turning onto his side and wrapping his arms around him. “I’m sorry, too,” he says softly, tears filling his own eyes. “B-but…how can I ever trust you again? Everything is broken between us now.”
Alex swallows hard, melting into Jack’s arms and nodding. He begins to cry harder, resting his forehead on Jack’s shoulder. “I-I was just so lonely.”
Jack sighs, tears falling slowly. “I know that. And I wish I didn’t have to work the way I do. But I just do. I should have made more time for you, though. If I had, maybe you wouldn’t have fallen in love with someone else.”
Alex frowns deeply, shaking his head. “I don’t love John. I don’t…I love you, Jack. You’re everything to me. I just went to him because I didn’t have anyone else.”
“You have me,” Jack says sadly. Then he looks away. “I shouldn’t have started taking pills. Maybe I would have remembered to pick the kids up today. Probably not, but maybe. Now I feel like the absolute worst father in the world.”
“You’re not,” Alex whispers. “Neither of us are the best. But the kids are fine. We’ve just…we’ve got to try harder — on everything. Maybe go to counseling?”
Jack thinks for a moment, before nodding. “I’ll go, but you’ve got to understand that it’s
going to take a lot for me to trust you again, you know. I’m going to be jealous and possessive from here on out for God knows why.”
Alex nods, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, okay. I won’t ever see him again, I promise. You need to get off of the pills, first of all. And second of all, you need to find a way to balance us and work. I know that work is really, really important. But I can’t live the way that we are anymore, Jack. It’s killing me.”
Jack frowns deeply before leaning down and pressing a kiss to Alex’s forehead. “I-I know, baby. I’m gonna try. I promise. We’ve both got to start putting the kids above everything. What happened today, it was a combination of both of us not being the best parents that we can be. We have to do better.”
Alex nods again, closing his eyes and lying back down. “I love you. And I love Ethan and Violet. You’re my entire world. Without the three of you, I’m absolutely nothing.”
Jack pulls Alex tightly to him, closing his own eyes. “We’re going to make it, Alex. We’ve just got a long way to go.”
They fall asleep like that. And while neither of them know if they truly are going to make it, they’re both willing to try. Jack will try to stop taking pills. Alex will try to stop seeing John. They will both try to be better fathers. Because their family is important.
Regardless of what happens, they’ll stay together.

Notes