::Alex::

I didn't know what was wrong with me. After the conversation I had with Brook's cousin, something clicked in my head and I started convincing myself that Brook was better off without me.

Really... I was a dude in a band and she had to have better standards than that. She didn't deserve to have to deal with all the drama that involved dating a guy like me.

All these thoughts, plus Sami telling me that Brook had been seriously hurt in the past, on top of the fact that I could not shake all my feelings for Lina were the reasons I was using to justify practically avoiding having to see Brook for two days straight after the day we'd
spent with Sami.

I felt terrible - especially after the two days passed I only had eight more days at home. Even though I wasn't seeing her, I couldn't completely avoid Brook. We still texted on and off all day.

When she asked to see me the first day, I told her I was having dinner with my parents and then said I went straight home because I wasn't feeling good and needed to sleep it off.

In reality, I had continued making bad life decisions and agreed to go out to dinner with Lina. I thought it would be a good opportunity to explain to her that we were really over.

Instead of telling her all that, we talked about old times and laughed a lot. She ended up coming back to my place after dinner to see the dogs for a while and then we watched a movie together and when she left way after midnight, I didn't back away when she leaned in to kiss me goodnight like I should have.

The second day, I told Brook I was still sick and was afraid I was contagious and didn't want to get her sick too.

This time, I wasn't entirely lying. I did feel sick. I felt sick to my stomach over the fact that I had a girl that I really, really liked who was practically perfect but I couldn't just accept that she might actually like me back. I had to string Lina along too, just in case.

It wasn't like I didn't care about Lina because I did. I really did but I don't think I cared about her nearly as much as I used to and definitely not nearly as much as she seemed to still care about me - which brought me back to the whole sick to my stomach feeling.

I was beginning to think that the next two months I had away from home were going to be great for me. I needed the time away to clear my head and figure out who I wanted to be with for sure but really, in the back of my mind I was already sure I knew the answer to that. I just needed to stop being afraid of it.

How are you feeling today?

I smiled at the text from Brook but then instantly felt like shit because here she was being all sweet and perfect and I was lying.

Not 100% but I'm getting there.

That's good news! :-)

Are you used to being back at work now?

I was ready to stop talking about me.

Haha... I'm almost there. Some of the kids are still walking around in a fog. Some teachers too...

I can't blame them. When I was in high school, I think I walked around in a post-Christmas vacation fog until mid-February.

So you're saying I should get used to the zombie parade I've been seeing in the halls the past few days?

Definitely ;)

I have to head into a meeting now. Do you think I can see you later since you're feeling better?

I waited a minute before answering her. I really wanted to see her but I was afraid of saying or doing anything stupid.

I don't know, Brook. I'd hate it if I got you sick.

I'm sure I'll be fine. Plus, I take vitamins every morning. It takes a lot to get me sick.

Okay. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Good. I'm glad you caved because I was coming by after work whether you said yes or not.

I made a pot of chicken soup last night. I'm bringing you some leftovers.

I'll be waiting. :)

See you later <3

I was going to Hell. I was going there so quickly.

::Brook::

When Alex had been blowing me off for two days straight, I was starting to worry that there was something more going on than him just not feeling well. I was afraid that he had gotten bored with me and was trying to drop me before he left for tour.

On the third day when he finally caved, I decided that I was just being paranoid and everything was fine.

After work, I drove home and quickly changed into a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt. I threw my curled hair into a ponytail and threw my feet into an older, well worn, pair of Uggs. I slipped my scarf around my neck, pulled on my coat and shoved my hands into my mittens.

I grabbed the plastic container of soup from the fridge and a plate of cookies wrapped in cellophane that were left over from the Holidays off the counter and quickly headed back out the door and down to the car. I tried to ignore any nerves I was feeling about seeing Alex. Tonight would be just like every other night.

When I pulled up at his house, I took a deep breath as I killed the car engine and gathered all my things before getting out of the car and quickly heading towards the front door.

Since my hands were full, I gently knocked on the door with my elbow and could almost immediately hear the dogs go crazy on the other side.

I smiled a little when I could hear Alex shushing them and trying to get them to calm down before he opened the door for me.

"Hey you," he smiled as he pulled the heavy wooden door open.

“Hey,” I smiled as he held the glass door open for me and I slipped inside, trying my best not to drop everything in my hands.

“Let me help you,” he insisted, taking the container of soup from me and leading me towards the kitchen where he placed the container down and took the cookie plate from me and place it next to the soup.

“Thanks. How are you feeling?” I asked.

“Better now,” he said, touching my cheek lightly before leaning down to kiss me quickly.

“Good to hear,” I said, hugging him quickly before I let him go and crouched down to pet the two dogs that were sniffing at me and circling my feet. “Hey buddy,” I said softly, scratching behind Sebastian’s ear. He licked my hand happily.

“Looks like he forgives you for the whole almost hitting him with your car thing,” Alex said, crouching down next to me.

“That’s not funny,” I said through gritted teeth, shooting him a glare.

“I’m just kidding,” he said nudging me with his shoulder.

“What’s his name?” I asked, when I started to pet the top of the larger dog’s head.

“This is Peyton. We rescued him about a year and half ago.”

“We?” I asked, looking over at him.

“Oh. Sorry,” he bit his lip. “My ex and I…”

“Don’t apologize. I know that you have ex-girlfriends,” I said with a shrug as I stood up.

“Right,” he nodded.

“It’s fine,” I laughed a little, pulling off my coat and taking off my scarf and mittens and shoving them in the sleeve of my coat and draping it over the back of one of the chairs at the kitchen table. “Why don’t you go sit in the living room and I’ll heat you up some of the soup?”

“Oh no, that’s okay. You don’t have to do it for me. I can do it.”

“I don’t mind,” I insisted, kissing him quickly and pushing him towards the living room. “I got it.”

I found a pot in one of the cabinets and dumped the contents of the container into it and turned up the temperature to warm the soup. While it heated, I searched around for a ladle and a bowl and after a few minutes I scooped some of the soup into the bowl and pulled a spoon from the drawer before bringing it out to Alex.

“It’s smells great,” he said with a smile as he held the bowl in his lap, waiting for it to cool down.

“Thanks,” I said, sitting down next to him and pulling my legs up under me. “It’s an old family recipe. It’s guaranteed to make you feel better no matter how crumby you feel.”

He gave me a shaky smile as he dipped the spoon into the bowl and brought it to his mouth. “Wow. You’re right. I think I feel better already.”

I laughed a little. “Good. Now just imagine how much better you’re going to feel when you finish the whole bowl.”

“Wow,” he said after taking a few more spoonfuls. “I might have super powers by then.”

I laughed again and glanced over at the TV, noticing Alex had been watching Back to the Future before I came in.

“Want to learn a fun fact about me?”

“Of course,” he said, looking over at me.

“When I was a baby, we’re talking like 3 or 4 months old, my parents used to put me in my mechanical baby swing and leave this movie on and I would sit there and watch it over and over again all day without a peep.”

“Really?” he chuckled. “So is this your favorite movie then?”

“Actually, until this day I can barely watch it. I’ve tried a few times over the years and I just can’t get into it and either falling asleep or turning it off. I don’t know,” I said with a shrug.

“Should I turn it off?” Alex asked, gesturing to the TV.

“You don’t have to. I just can’t guarantee I won’t fall asleep on you.”

He smiled a little, reaching for the remote and passing it to me. “I’m sure there is something better on.”

I pointed the remote at the TV and clicked a few times before I came across Tangled. Immediately I heard Alex laugh, no doubt at me for the way my eyes instantly widened with excitement.

“Please don’t judge me but I am completely obsessed with this movie,” I confessed to him.

He smiled, taking the remote from me and setting it down on the coffee table next to his now half empty bowl of soup and leaned back against the couch cushion.

“Is this the beginning?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded “Pretty much. All you need to know is crazy lady is obsessed with her image and steals baby Rapunzel because her hair possesses the magic power to keep her looking young whenever Rapunzel sings.”

Alex nodded and lifted up one of his arms, motioning for me to come closer. I smiled and scooted closer to him, pressing myself into his side as his arm quickly came around my shoulders. I tried not to smile any wider or think about how right and normal this all felt.

If I was being really honest with myself, I could totally get used to the whole cuddling on the couch and watching Disney movies thing with Alex. I don’t know what I was so worried about before. Everything was fine.

I was shocked that Alex had stayed awake and interested through the entire movie. I was willing to bet that by the time ten minutes had gone by he would have been out like a light.

“Don’t judge me now,” he said as the credits for the movie rolled. “I really enjoyed that actually.”

“Really?” I practically beamed. “Are you just saying that for my benefit?”

He shook his head, stretching his arms over his head. “No. Honestly, I really liked it.”

I leaned up and pressed a light kiss to the corner of his mouth. “As if you could get any cuter…”

“You think I’m cute now? Wait until we ever watch Toy Story together. Those movies are my shit.”

“I don’t think I can handle you getting any cuter,” I said, leaning up and this time kissing the other side of his mouth.

“I’ll try and hold back,” he said softly, taking hold of my face between his hands and guiding my lips on his own. “But I make no promises,” he mumbled against my lips.

I kissed him back, eventually shifting my position so I was straddling Alex’s legs and my hands were resting on his shoulders.

Like it normally was with Alex, I quickly melted into the kiss, fully enjoying the feel of Alex’s soft, warm lips pressing against mine. It was like he knew exactly what and when to do exactly what I wanted. He would deepen the kiss at the right moment. He knew just when was the right time to include his tongue, without using too much to make the kiss sloppy. It was perfect and every time we kissed like this, my heart would race in my chest faster than was probably healthy.

“We should stop,” Alex said, turning his head to the side finally so my lips started to brush against his cheek.

“Why should we stop?” I asked as his hands dropped from my cheeks and rested on my waist.

“Because…” he trailed off, as if he needed to think of an excuse. “We just should.”

I tilted my head to the side, a little confused. “Is everything okay?”

He took a deep breath and exhaled a loud, shaky sigh. “No. Everything is not okay, Brook.”

I felt his body tense underneath me and I quickly felt all the warmth leave my body and the nervous feeling kicked into my stomach again.

“What is it?”

“We need to talk,” he said and the seriousness in his tone made the nervous feeling in my stomach grow exponentially.

I quickly moved to sit next to him and idly played with the draw string to my sweats.

“Okay… What about?” I asked, trying to hide my nerves and keep my voice even.

“Us.”

I nodded slowly. “What about us?”

“Look,” he said sitting up a little straighter. “I’m going to be completely honest with you right now, Brook. You scare the shit out of me.”

I tried not to let my face show how confused that statement made me.

“I scare you.” I repeated.

“You’re so much different from all the other girls I’ve ever found myself attracted to and believe me, it’s a good thing. I just can’t shake this nagging feeling I have that you’re too good for me.”

I was quiet for a second. I wasn’t sure if was supposed to respond to that because he had stopped talking. I was hoping he’d keep talking. I wasn’t really sure what I was supposed to say back to that.

“Alex…”

“The other day when we went out with your cousin, Sami told me how you’ve been seriously hurt in the past and I would hate to -”

“Wait,” I interrupted him. “Sami told you about that?”

“She didn’t tell me details. She just told me that you went through a bad breakup and you were pretty messed up by it.”

I sighed a little. “Alex. It was a breakup. All breakups are bad if you really care about the other person. I’m not this completely broken, fragile excuse for a person now. I’m over it.”

“I guess what I’m just trying to say is I feel like we’re both such polar opposites that we must be crazy to think this could work out.”

“Haven’t you ever heard that opposites attract?”

He shrugged. “I guess that’s true sometimes.”

“Is there something else going on that I should know, Alex? Because now would be the time to come clean. That way we can just move forward.”

He looked at me long and hard for a second and I was worried he was about to unleash a bombshell on me but instead he just shook his head and let out another shaky sigh.

“I have a past, Brook. I was never good with relationships and I’m sure if you talked to a few girls I’ve dated they’ll tell you how horrible I was. I have also been hurt before too which I guess is a reason why I was so horrible to some girls. I don’t want to be that guy anymore but I guess my biggest issue is I’m afraid that something is going to happen to make me revert back to being that guy.”

I smiled sadly and touched his cheek lightly.

“We all have a past Alex. We’ve talked about this before and we decided that when the time was right we would tell each other what we need to know. Right?”

He nodded. “I don’t think I’m ready to get into all that yet.”

“I agree,” I said quickly. “I know it’s hard, especially when you’re leaving so soon but I think what we both need to do in order to not make ourselves crazy is to take this one day at a time and stop worrying about the future so much, you know?”

He nodded. “Yeah but what-”

I leaned up, kissing his lips very lightly. “I trust you, Alex. Maybe that makes me crazy but I do.”

He cracked a very small smile.

“That means a lot to me to hear but there is one more thing I should probably tell you…”

“What’s that?”

“I wasn’t really sick these past two days,” he said softly.

“You weren’t?”

He shook his head. “I was afraid to see you. I was kind of having a meltdown over this whole thing. I just like you so much and I guess I’m just afraid that a guy like me is going to turn your whole perfect life upside down.”

My eyes widened and I shook my head. “Perfect? You think my life is perfect?”

He shrugged. “Everything about you is perfect, Brook.”

I bit my lip and felt my cheeks turn pink. “I’m not sure I can agree with that.”

He rubbed his thumb over my cheek gently. “You just seem like you have everything figured out. You have a job that you love. You help people. You have your own place. You have a great relationship with your family. You have an incredible personality…”

“Well what about you?” I turned it around on him. “You seem to have everything figured out too. You love your job. You help kids, probably way more than I ever would. Remember the boy at the ice skating rink? He told you that your music help him through some bad times he was going through? I don’t think you give yourself enough credit, Alex.”

He shook his head. “What, you think I’m perfect?”

I shrugged. “No one is perfect, Alex but you know what?” I asked, leaning close to him and pressing my forehead against his.

“What?”

“Right now I think you’re pretty perfect for me.”
***

Notes

Story Title: Taylor Swift - Sparks Fly
Chapter Title: One Direction - Perfect
Brook's outift.