Latest Nostalgia
Four
Muttering in agitation, Bailey threw down the quilt her mom asked her to sew and huffed angrily.
“I’ll never be able to do this, why on earth would she ask me to sew?!”
I only giggled in response, taking the quilt from her lap and working a simple stitch around the edge. In no time, I’d gotten a good portion of one side stitched together. I tried to motion to Bailey so that she could watch as I continued to stitch around the side in swift, continuous movements.
“See? Just follow that stitch pattern, now watch what I’m doing,” and I demonstrated.
She attempted, somehow tangling the thread around itself. I laughed as I answered the skype call I was receiving from Jack.
“Hey Elvis!” he waved, a goofy grin on his face. “Hi Bailey.” She grunted in response, earning a confused look from Jack.
“She’s having a little trouble on the quilt her mom wanted her to sew for her brother’s birthday,” I said, trying to stifle another laugh. Jack made a funny face, cracking my serious façade, and then spoke up.
“So what’s up, chicken butt?”
“Eh, the usual I guess. Classes, work, taking care of Bailey,” she took the time to slap my arm, “Repeat.”
“You always say that,” he teased. “How did your presentation go?”
“Oh! It was great! My partner backed out so I ended up doing the project mostly by myself, which actually worked out a lot better for me, since I work better alone, and we had already done all the research. My professor was impressed, I’m expecting good marks.” I felt myself redden as I noticed that I was, yet again, rambling. I always rambled when I talked to Jack. He never seemed to mind, though, as most of the time he rambled in response, and nearly all of our Skype calls were a series of rambles, exchanged laughs, and reluctant goodbyes.
“Awesome! Sounds great, you’ll have to send me the video you made, I wanna see it.”
“Okay, will do. So more importantly, how’s tour?” I sighed.
“Tour is great, all the shows are sold out, or nearly sold out, and there’s been just a ton of energy. It’s been our best tour yet, that’s for sure. In Atlanta we finally got to go bowling, it was interesting seeing a bunch of drunk 20-something year olds try to bowl. Alex was trying to get a strike, because he kept swearing he could, but he just kept falling on his ass. He was being an idiot.”
“ATL in the ATL! Alex is an idiot,” I said, rolling my eyes.
He shook his head, laughing as he agreed, and Alex stuck his head in Jack’s bunk.
“Hey! Who are you calling an idiot?!”
I scoffed, widening my eyes and looking at Jack, “What on earth are you talking about?! Who would call you such a name?”
“Pfft, yeah,” he said, though he smiled. “How are ya?”
“Pretty good, getting bored of B-more. How about you, Mr. Ego?”
“Great,” he said, framing his face and looking upward angelically, earning a laugh from me.
When I looked at Jack, he was smiling and looking at me with something in his eyes that I couldn’t quite place. Just as I was about to crack a joke to break the silence, and to get his piercing gaze off of me, Jack’s muffled ringtone rang out from the other side of the call.
He picked his phone up, and then looked up hurriedly at me.
“Oh, uh, I gotta take this. I’ll talk to you later though, yeah?”
“Yeah sure, later gator,” I smiled at the both of them, but he ended the call without another word.
“Weird…” I muttered, closing my laptop and forgetting that Bailey was in the room.
“What’s weird?” she asked, sticking her tongue out and focusing intensely on the needle and thread in front of her.
“Nothing, he just left really quickly after he got that call, it was strange,” I said, picking at my nails.
“Maybe it was a giiiiiiiirl,” she teased, taking a quick second to look up at me.
“Oh stop,” I huffed, getting up to use the bathroom. I laughed as I left the room, but she and I both knew that’s what I was truly thinking- did Jack have a girlfriend he wasn’t telling me about? If he really did have a girlfriend, what would be his reasoning for not telling me? And how long had they been together without him letting me in on such a big part of his life? Did he think I’d get mad? Jealous? Or was there another underlying reason… I stood in front of the sink, looking at myself in the mirror with no real intention other than to distract myself from the troubling thoughts about my best friend. I metaphorically, and then literally, shook my head of the thoughts- I had to be overreacting. I was just jumping to conclusions.
That night, as I lay in bed and scrolled through my twitter feed, I noticed something that Jack had retweeted, so I looked closer. And my heart sunk.
RT @hollymadison @JackAllTimeLow Had better give me tickets to their Vegas show! Can’t wait to see them/him!
I sighed, locking my phone and rolling onto my side. It took me a good two hours to fall asleep.
In the next two weeks, I hadn’t received a single Skype call from Jack. We’d agreed quite some time ago that he would be the one to call since his schedule was so erratic with touring, but since I’d yet to hear from him I had really been considering just calling him myself.
I sighed, quite loud apparently, because Bailey said a moment later, “Just call him already, damn girl.”
“It’s not that simple,” I said irritably. “He’s really busy, and I don’t want to bother him. Plus, there’s probably a reason I haven’t heard from him in two weeks.”
“Or he’s just really busy, and figures you’re also really busy with finals. Do it. The only thing that could happen is that he doesn’t answer. Or he answers and says he’s busy and he’ll call you back.”
I inhaled sharply and let the breath out slowly. Our urgent whispers were receiving threatening glares and annoyed glances from our peers and the librarian as we sat at a table that was wedged between the many bookshelves of the college library. I had been trying to work on a paper but thus far had been unable to accomplish much of anything.
“Let’s get coffee,” Bailey finally sighed, throwing her books down on the table and then packing them into her bookbag after I happily agreed. I needed to get out of that library.
“Why do you think he hasn’t told you though?” she asked, sipping on her coffee as we sat in the small, relatively empty shop. I had pretty much determined by then that Jack was dating Holly Madison, reality TV star and former Playboy Bunny.
“I have no idea. I have a few theories though. Either he’s scared I’ll go all psycho jealous best friend and get mad. Or he thinks I have a crush on him and will go psycho crush and get mad. Or…” I didn’t really want to believe this next one for myself.
“Go on,” she urged.
“Or he cares about me… Like, he wants to be with me but he’s been too scared to say anything, and now since he’s with her he doesn’t want to tell me because he’s embarrassed or doesn’t want to hurt me or is just really torn about it. I don’t know… Those are just my theories. I doubt I’m right, that’s just what I’ve come up with so far.”
“I think he likes you,” she said, shaking a finger at me. “The way he looks at you,” she shook her head, squinting out the window as she searched for words. “Presley, the way Jack looks at you is the way a girl wants to be looked at every day for the rest of her life. It’s the way we want to be looked at on our wedding day, when we look horribly ugly first thing in the morning after getting trashed the night before but he still thinks we’re adorable, when we don’t make sense but he still understands us… That’s the way Jack looks at you. And you don’t even see it, that’s the mind-blowing part. Everyone sees it but you. I haven’t said this until now, but I can’t hold back anymore. Presley, when you’re rambling about the most mundane parts of your life, he looks at you like you’re talking about the most interesting thing in the world. He gets this smirk on his face and this weird twinkle in his eye. Fuck, it sounds so cheesy saying it out loud, but it’s so true.” She exhaled deeply, finally meeting my eyes, and I looked at her for a moment, my mouth agape, unsure of what to say.
“Bailey… Bailey, he doesn’t,” I began.
“No, don’t even,” she cut me off, laughing, though it wasn’t in a bitter or resenting way. It was more in a caring, gentle way. “It’s true. You don’t see it, but it’s true.”
I rolled my eyes, still unable to believe what she was saying. Sure, Jack and I had gotten close over the past two months, but he and I were simply friends. I had developed feelings for him but I knew in my heart of hearts that those feelings would never be fully returned. He might be attracted to me, but he would never care for me the way I did for him. That was something I would just have to accept.
“Let’s go,” I said, motioning to the door and picking my bag off the floor. I was ready to curl up in my bed and watch Netflix for the rest of the day.
“I’ll never be able to do this, why on earth would she ask me to sew?!”
I only giggled in response, taking the quilt from her lap and working a simple stitch around the edge. In no time, I’d gotten a good portion of one side stitched together. I tried to motion to Bailey so that she could watch as I continued to stitch around the side in swift, continuous movements.
“See? Just follow that stitch pattern, now watch what I’m doing,” and I demonstrated.
She attempted, somehow tangling the thread around itself. I laughed as I answered the skype call I was receiving from Jack.
“Hey Elvis!” he waved, a goofy grin on his face. “Hi Bailey.” She grunted in response, earning a confused look from Jack.
“She’s having a little trouble on the quilt her mom wanted her to sew for her brother’s birthday,” I said, trying to stifle another laugh. Jack made a funny face, cracking my serious façade, and then spoke up.
“So what’s up, chicken butt?”
“Eh, the usual I guess. Classes, work, taking care of Bailey,” she took the time to slap my arm, “Repeat.”
“You always say that,” he teased. “How did your presentation go?”
“Oh! It was great! My partner backed out so I ended up doing the project mostly by myself, which actually worked out a lot better for me, since I work better alone, and we had already done all the research. My professor was impressed, I’m expecting good marks.” I felt myself redden as I noticed that I was, yet again, rambling. I always rambled when I talked to Jack. He never seemed to mind, though, as most of the time he rambled in response, and nearly all of our Skype calls were a series of rambles, exchanged laughs, and reluctant goodbyes.
“Awesome! Sounds great, you’ll have to send me the video you made, I wanna see it.”
“Okay, will do. So more importantly, how’s tour?” I sighed.
“Tour is great, all the shows are sold out, or nearly sold out, and there’s been just a ton of energy. It’s been our best tour yet, that’s for sure. In Atlanta we finally got to go bowling, it was interesting seeing a bunch of drunk 20-something year olds try to bowl. Alex was trying to get a strike, because he kept swearing he could, but he just kept falling on his ass. He was being an idiot.”
“ATL in the ATL! Alex is an idiot,” I said, rolling my eyes.
He shook his head, laughing as he agreed, and Alex stuck his head in Jack’s bunk.
“Hey! Who are you calling an idiot?!”
I scoffed, widening my eyes and looking at Jack, “What on earth are you talking about?! Who would call you such a name?”
“Pfft, yeah,” he said, though he smiled. “How are ya?”
“Pretty good, getting bored of B-more. How about you, Mr. Ego?”
“Great,” he said, framing his face and looking upward angelically, earning a laugh from me.
When I looked at Jack, he was smiling and looking at me with something in his eyes that I couldn’t quite place. Just as I was about to crack a joke to break the silence, and to get his piercing gaze off of me, Jack’s muffled ringtone rang out from the other side of the call.
He picked his phone up, and then looked up hurriedly at me.
“Oh, uh, I gotta take this. I’ll talk to you later though, yeah?”
“Yeah sure, later gator,” I smiled at the both of them, but he ended the call without another word.
“Weird…” I muttered, closing my laptop and forgetting that Bailey was in the room.
“What’s weird?” she asked, sticking her tongue out and focusing intensely on the needle and thread in front of her.
“Nothing, he just left really quickly after he got that call, it was strange,” I said, picking at my nails.
“Maybe it was a giiiiiiiirl,” she teased, taking a quick second to look up at me.
“Oh stop,” I huffed, getting up to use the bathroom. I laughed as I left the room, but she and I both knew that’s what I was truly thinking- did Jack have a girlfriend he wasn’t telling me about? If he really did have a girlfriend, what would be his reasoning for not telling me? And how long had they been together without him letting me in on such a big part of his life? Did he think I’d get mad? Jealous? Or was there another underlying reason… I stood in front of the sink, looking at myself in the mirror with no real intention other than to distract myself from the troubling thoughts about my best friend. I metaphorically, and then literally, shook my head of the thoughts- I had to be overreacting. I was just jumping to conclusions.
That night, as I lay in bed and scrolled through my twitter feed, I noticed something that Jack had retweeted, so I looked closer. And my heart sunk.
RT @hollymadison @JackAllTimeLow Had better give me tickets to their Vegas show! Can’t wait to see them/him!
I sighed, locking my phone and rolling onto my side. It took me a good two hours to fall asleep.
In the next two weeks, I hadn’t received a single Skype call from Jack. We’d agreed quite some time ago that he would be the one to call since his schedule was so erratic with touring, but since I’d yet to hear from him I had really been considering just calling him myself.
I sighed, quite loud apparently, because Bailey said a moment later, “Just call him already, damn girl.”
“It’s not that simple,” I said irritably. “He’s really busy, and I don’t want to bother him. Plus, there’s probably a reason I haven’t heard from him in two weeks.”
“Or he’s just really busy, and figures you’re also really busy with finals. Do it. The only thing that could happen is that he doesn’t answer. Or he answers and says he’s busy and he’ll call you back.”
I inhaled sharply and let the breath out slowly. Our urgent whispers were receiving threatening glares and annoyed glances from our peers and the librarian as we sat at a table that was wedged between the many bookshelves of the college library. I had been trying to work on a paper but thus far had been unable to accomplish much of anything.
“Let’s get coffee,” Bailey finally sighed, throwing her books down on the table and then packing them into her bookbag after I happily agreed. I needed to get out of that library.
“Why do you think he hasn’t told you though?” she asked, sipping on her coffee as we sat in the small, relatively empty shop. I had pretty much determined by then that Jack was dating Holly Madison, reality TV star and former Playboy Bunny.
“I have no idea. I have a few theories though. Either he’s scared I’ll go all psycho jealous best friend and get mad. Or he thinks I have a crush on him and will go psycho crush and get mad. Or…” I didn’t really want to believe this next one for myself.
“Go on,” she urged.
“Or he cares about me… Like, he wants to be with me but he’s been too scared to say anything, and now since he’s with her he doesn’t want to tell me because he’s embarrassed or doesn’t want to hurt me or is just really torn about it. I don’t know… Those are just my theories. I doubt I’m right, that’s just what I’ve come up with so far.”
“I think he likes you,” she said, shaking a finger at me. “The way he looks at you,” she shook her head, squinting out the window as she searched for words. “Presley, the way Jack looks at you is the way a girl wants to be looked at every day for the rest of her life. It’s the way we want to be looked at on our wedding day, when we look horribly ugly first thing in the morning after getting trashed the night before but he still thinks we’re adorable, when we don’t make sense but he still understands us… That’s the way Jack looks at you. And you don’t even see it, that’s the mind-blowing part. Everyone sees it but you. I haven’t said this until now, but I can’t hold back anymore. Presley, when you’re rambling about the most mundane parts of your life, he looks at you like you’re talking about the most interesting thing in the world. He gets this smirk on his face and this weird twinkle in his eye. Fuck, it sounds so cheesy saying it out loud, but it’s so true.” She exhaled deeply, finally meeting my eyes, and I looked at her for a moment, my mouth agape, unsure of what to say.
“Bailey… Bailey, he doesn’t,” I began.
“No, don’t even,” she cut me off, laughing, though it wasn’t in a bitter or resenting way. It was more in a caring, gentle way. “It’s true. You don’t see it, but it’s true.”
I rolled my eyes, still unable to believe what she was saying. Sure, Jack and I had gotten close over the past two months, but he and I were simply friends. I had developed feelings for him but I knew in my heart of hearts that those feelings would never be fully returned. He might be attracted to me, but he would never care for me the way I did for him. That was something I would just have to accept.
“Let’s go,” I said, motioning to the door and picking my bag off the floor. I was ready to curl up in my bed and watch Netflix for the rest of the day.
9/5/13