After our interview had finished, Jack asked me if I was coming to the after party. Unfortunately, I had to say no, because I wasn’t invited. The party was only for the bands and artists, some photographers, and plus-ones. I wasn’t any of those, so I was just going to go back to my hotel as soon as the show finished. However, Jack didn’t like the sound of that, and told me to come and be his plus-one. I couldn’t just decline that. These guys were pretty fun to be around, and it would be so weird for me not to accept to go to a party if I was asked to come. He seemed so happy and excited when I said I would do it.

The show was pretty good. Different bands played, and All Time Low played a medley of classics. It wasn’t exactly my scene, but some songs really got to me. The lyrics actually meant something and weren’t degrading other people! I could so get used to this. Maybe I couldn’t get into the bands that played harder music, but All Time Low was a perfect level to start at. And although I barely knew them -- or didn’t know them at all -- I felt really proud when All Time Low won all the awards they were nominated for. I had been nominated countless of times for big awards, but the only thing I ever won was best female performance at the MTV Movie Awards.

I made my way out of the arena where the show was being held, and started making my way to the venue for the after party. Of course there were people waiting for me to come out. Cameras were flashing and everybody tried to come closer to me, asking me questions about my day or about the divorce. Whenever I was spotted somewhere, paparazzi were soon to follow. Innocent bystanders seemed to be so confused about what was happening. I felt so bad about stealing the show from everybody else; I didn’t want all this attention! All I was doing was literally walking from one place to another. Was that really that interesting? Did people really need to know I walked? And who cared about what I was wearing! This was my life, not anybody else’s.

I ignored all the clicks of the cameras and the shouting of the paparazzi. There were always those stupid people that would tell all the others to back off, to only invade my personal space themselves. I was so happy when I finally reached the club rented especially for this event, and got let in in no time. I wasn’t sure if the bouncer let me in because Jack told him I was coming, or that he just let me in because I was famous. And that was another annoying thing about being who I was. You just never knew whether people did stuff because of your name and status or because they actually knew you. I just hoped Jack asked me to come because he was being nice, and not because he could walk around telling people I was here with them.

Punk music was blaring over the speakers, colorful lights were illuminating the walls, ceiling, and floor, and people were standing all over the place. But there was one problem. I didn’t know anybody here. My interview with All Time Low caused me to miss the opportunity to talk to any other bands. I got stares from all over the place as I walked through the crowd. For once, I actually felt uncomfortable. I was used to having people look at me, but this felt a lot weirder and more awkward. I did not fit in here.

But I composed myself, and continued my way to the bar. Having a drink would probably help me ignore all the stuff going on around me. I sat down at one of the barstools, since only a couple of other people were sat there as well, and waited for the bartender to come up to me and ask me what I wanted. Drinks were being bought, made, and drunk like it was nobody’s business. People would sing along with the choruses and scream along with the popular hooks. Everybody seemed to know everybody, and I was just here trying to get a drink. How pathetic was that! Normally I was the well known person around, but it was no longer like that. I didn’t belong here, and now I was the outsider.

Looking around the place completely made me forget that I actually had an order to place in no time. I was lost in my own thoughts and bewilderment when I suddenly noticed the tired guy, who seemed to be fed up with his job, standing right in front of me. It seemed like he had already asked me a couple of times, since he was staring at me with an annoyed look and shaking his head lightly at me.

“Oh, umm,” I shook myself awake and desperately tried to search for an answer, looking at what other people had, but nobody had anything interesting, nor did I have a favourite drink myself, so I quickly came up with another answer, “just get me what you think will fit me.”

He nodded, probably going to make the most expensive thing he had, and went to make whatever he had in mind. I swore I saw a small eyeroll when I finally decided to answer him, and I could just tell he wanted nothing more than leave this party and sleep. Having so many customers could be fun, but having to keep it up for hours was most likely energy draining.

“Very interesting choice,” somebody said from just behind me before coming around to sit next to me. I looked to my right to see that the person inhabiting the seat right beside me was Jack. He was grinning at me, making his eyes wrinkle a bit at the outside corners, which was pretty fucking adorable. “I’m glad you came!”

I chuckled at him, amazed that he was surprised that I actually came, “well, I couldn’t just say no to hanging out with you.” The bartender returned with a drink in one hand. It was bright pink, had ice in it, and a lemon was squeezed onto the v-shaped cocktail glass. I frowned at it, not really thinking I seemed like that kind of person. It only confirmed that I really had to start being myself in public and not the person everybody wanted me to be.

Jack decided to quote me, and give the bartender the same order, just to see what he would receive, and gave me a wink. Not even a minute later a large glass of beer was placed right in front of him, and I just couldn’t believe it. Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought that this might have been the most expensive drink, and that that was why he gave it to me. If Jack would have gotten the same, it would have confirmed that suspicion, but it obviously wasn’t what I thought.

“Are you being serious?” I grumbled, really not wanting to drink whatever this sweet mixture was. I was never into these types of drinks. So, without even asking, I switched around Jack and I's glasses, so I was now left with the much better drink. Jack laughed at my action, but didn’t complain or try to switch it back. He was probably completely fine with being stuck with the cocktail.

And then there was silence between us. There were those silences which were nice and comfortable, like you were still connecting with the person, but this was not one of them; this was pretty awkward. I didn’t know how we suddenly went from laughing to this, or why it happened, but it just did. Jack was actually a pretty interesting person, and I really did want to get to know him better… if only I knew how to start this conversation-

“So you’re getting a divorce?” Jack suddenly blurted out, before looking at me with wide eyes, his body freezing up, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

I giggled and shook my head, it was nice to know that he felt exactly the same way. I actually didn’t seem like the weird/crazy/awkward one this time! Normally introductions were made for me, so I didn’t know how to deal with this anymore. “No, it’s ok. I don’t know what it is, but everybody thinks it’s this really big deal, while it really isn’t. It was a long time coming. Travis and I have been on and off the last couple of years, even though we were still married. We just weren’t in love anymore. It was a mutual agreement, there was no fighting, and we are still friends. The only reason why you don’t see us around each other is because the law literally requires us to stay away from each other for us to be able to do this.”

“Wow, so you’ve been like this for a while? Wow,” he seemed so fascinated by me being so open about it and not hiding anything. It might seem like the next thing he asked me was another one of the awkward burst outs, but he actually seemed to be pretty serious -- with a laugh, of course. “But what about your sex life? I mean…”

“Pretty nonexistent,” I told him without hesitation. Why would I hide stuff like that? The me I wanted to be was going to be open about everything, and it really looked like this was the perfect place for me to start. This random award show really was the beginning of the new me. “Travis had other relationships, but I didn’t… not even a one night stand.”

“What! How can you deal with that?!” The face he gave me was so shocked. It was a pretty well-known fact that Jack was the virgin-that-really-was-the-opposite-of-one in the band. Of course this would be a big shock for him.

“Something you might not be familiar with. It’s called masturbation,” I nodded, taking a drink from the beer, smiling right after it. I was so happy I switched the drinks. There was a 70% chance that I would get sick from the taste of that pink liquid.

“Oh,” Jack squinted, try his best to look like he was trying to recall something, and nodded as well, “I think I’ve heard of that before.”

“Really?” I chuckled, knowing that about half of Jack’s tweets contained the specific word. He was one of those guys, but I really liked it. Maybe Judy’s prediction wasn’t that weird and unrealistic.

“Yeah, I think I’ve heard it being casually used in conversation before,” he stood up, taking the drink in his hand and quickly scanning the large crowd on the dance floor and inhabiting all the other space, “how about I introduce you to a small group of friends?”

“Sure,” I grinned, happy he wanted to help be me less awkward in this group of people. Maybe I would be getting less stares if I could hold a conversation with some people here. “But, I’m keeping this beer.”

“I like me a girl who chooses beer over a cocktail,” he smirked before leading me to his friends. He was looking in the direction and where a group of guys stood with some girls, presumably their girlfriends. The only person I recognized out of all these people was Alex, who was surprisingly still standing out with his blue hair.

I followed him and bit my lip, before adding, “good.”

We neared the group of people, and it was now certain that I literally didn’t know any of these people, and that it wasn’t just the flashing colorful light creating strange and sharp shadows on their faces. As soon as we stopped in front of the group of friends, greeting Jack and looking at me with bewildered eyes. I was getting introduced by the guy with skunk hair, who had seemed to get my attention very fast.

“... and this is Brendon Urie,” Jack finished, pointing and somebody whose name actually seemed strangely familiar. I was searching my mind, looking through all the files, so see if I could pinpoint it. It wasn’t a recent memory, but there was something about him that--

“Panic! At The Disco!” I shouted as a statement. That was where I knew him from! Of course. They were one of the most popular bands ever in my teenage years! It seemed like I wasn’t completely an outsider of this scene. And when Brendon nodded with a smile, I was very proud of myself. This was pretty impressive. “Yes! I’m actually getting good at this! I think I deserve another beer for getting that right.”

“You haven’t even started your first one,” Jack chuckled, pointing at the glass with the liquid that was nearly sloshing out because of my excitement. Not wanting to create a sticky mess, I stabilized my the glass by holding it more still, quickly taking a drink so it wouldn’t happen again.

“So what?” I giggled, looking at how much I actually already drank from it, which actually surprised me quite a lot, “Another beer won’t hurt!”

And it totally didn’t. If it weren’t for the fact that I wasn’t planning on getting drunk, I would have drunk a lot more than I had that evening. Jack and I kept subtly flirting with each other, and I couldn’t help but grin at him whenever we talked. I had only known him for a couple of hours, and it was like he already had a spell over me. Somehow he had caught my interest, and the more we talked, the more the urge to kiss him built up.

But I couldn’t do it. As much as I wanted to, there was no way for it to happen without it causing serious consequences. There were too many photographs and selfies being taken, that it was bound to be recorded forever somewhere in the background of one of them. With all the rumours going around already, I couldn’t make it build up even more. I was getting enough shit as it was, there was no need for it to get even worse.

It all got more difficult as we danced together for a while, pressing our bodies up against each other. We weren’t exactly grinding, since I was being careful, but there were quite some people on the dancefloor, so it was basically inevitable… not that I minded the contact at all, especially in my slightly buzzed state of mind. I still, however, managed to hold myself back. There was no way it would be a good idea to kiss Jack, and not just because of the news coming out, but because it would probably weird him out.

I stayed for a bit longer, having found a place to sit with with all Jack’s friends. There were three couches placed around a table and everybody was strewn across them, glasses covering the coffee table. I, specifically, was sat with my back against Jack’s side, while I had pulled my legs up. Why not get comfortable with him if we were literally flirting with each other? Exactly! There was no reason not to!

However, it was getting late and it was time for me to go. So, I slowly sat up straight, putting my empty glass down, before fully standing up. I grabbed my fedora and put it on my head, “well, guys, I guess it’s time for me to go.”

“No,” Jack whined, grabbing my hand and trying to pull me back down beside him. His feet were kicked up. I was actually surprised by how sober he was, because I certainly wasn’t… not that I was badly drunk or anything.

“I still have a photoshoot to go to tomorrow,” I told him, already dreading the next day. I was going to be like a walking zombie, people would be touching me all over, and bright lights would be shining from every direction, trying to make me look the best I could. “I don’t want to be too tired tomorrow.”

“Ok, fine, but let me walk you back to your hotel,” he started to collect his stuff and get ready to go himself.

“No, it’s fine,” I assured him, actually dreading what was waiting out there for me. It wasn’t that I really cared about it, but he didn’t need to get bombarded by the people that followed me daily and get bother me with my personal life. “There will probably be 20 people out there already waiting for me, I’ll be fine.”

“I insist,” Jack urged, not letting to change of talking to be a bit longer go by. So, I accepted and we managed to leave after 10 minutes. He still had to say goodbye to some people, but it wasn’t like the usual company I spent with, where saying goodbye required you to literally have a small conversation with most people, and you’d be stuck there for at least another two hours.

Just as expected, there were paparazzi out there waiting for me. I tried my best to ignore them while trying to have a normal conversation with Jack. My voice could barely be heard over all the shouting of questions in my direction, but eventually they all realised I wasn’t going to answer and quieted down a bit. That didn’t mean, though, that they were going to leave me alone and stop taking pictures. Jack and I just had to stop the flirty business that went down before, and I followed the rule of how far away you had to stand. Well, it wasn’t really a rule, but there was a distance that let people know you weren’t seeing each other, so I kept myself to that.

And in no time we were at the hotel. Jack and I rushed inside, hoping to get rid of some of the noise. Unfortunately, the entire lobby was surrounded by large windows, so we still had to keep to the manners we had while walking. I, to be honest, was pretty bummed out I couldn’t end this the way I wanted it to end. We had to keep this all friendly, no romance involved.

“Do you have to deal with that every time?” Jack chuckled, jerking his thumb in the direction of the small audience with big flashing cameras, who were stood outside so that they wouldn’t get sued for photographing on private property.

“Only when they find out where I am,” I told him with a laugh, but also being very serious at the same time, “other times it can range from one lonely person to about seven of them. It really varies.”

“Hmm…” he nodded, but seemed to be thinking about something else already, evident by the way he was slightly rocking on his feet and looking at me differently. “Well, I guess this is goodbye, then.”

“You still have my phone number, you can always text me,” I pointed out, secretly hoping he would actually do that and not forget about me. Normally, I wouldn’t hand out my number to random people, for obvious reasons, but something made me freely give it to Jack like that.

“Of course,” he smiled, like a lightbulb went off in his head, as if he had forgotten about it already. After standing for another while just looking at me, he leaned in for a hug, and I happily returned it. It wasn’t like we hadn’t had contact yet, and this was better than nothing at all.

We, however, held on a bit longer than be probably should have. Neither of us wanted to leave, and we would have much rather spent more time with each other. He surprised me by suddenly whispering in my ear, but not making it obvious he was doing it, “you don’t even know how badly I want to kiss you right now.”

“Oh, thank god, I’m not the only one,” I sighed in relief, happy this wasn’t just a one sided feeling. If only everybody around us couldn’t just disappear for a couple of seconds so Jack and I could easily and happily share the feeling. But that wasn’t how the world worked. “But there’s too many paparazzi, I can’t have more rumours make the whole situation going on around me make this all worse. Not just for my sake, but for your’s and Travis’ as well.”

“Right,” Jack hesitantly pulled away from me, sounding quite disappointed, but there was also a hint of understanding in his tone. I really wished I didn’t have to reject him like this, but it just wasn’t how life worked for people like me. Sometimes I just wished I hadn't decided to audition for that movie and went to medical school instead, but then I probably would have ended up completely different.

I quickly kissed his cheek, feeling ok with giving him that. It wasn’t very uncommon for me to do so, but I just made sure I lingered a bit so it would be a bit different that normal, however the cameras couldn’t see that.

“This isn’t over, though,” I sneakily added with a smirk before slipping away to the elevators, “make sure you text me.”

Notes

Finally chapter 3! These chapters take me longer to write than I expected...
Anyways, I edited this just before I went to bed (I'm super tired right now) so sorry for any mistakes I missed. Nobody's editing for me yet.
Let's see when the next chapter pops up!