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Guardian Angel

1//Other Side

I will always be a tortured soul,
don't fix me up just let me go.
Come join me if you like
I'll be on the other side
"This is your fault, Jasey."
"Fuck you." I spat.
He shook his head in disapproval, but a sickening grin found its way to adorn his face. If I had the capability of biting his face off, I think I would.
"You're the one who chose to die. Don't cuss at me simply for doing my job. Come with me, dear. I promise that wherever you're going won't be too bad."
"Is that code for 'you're going to hell'?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Possibly, but maybe not."
I rolled my eyes. "Can you just rid yourself from my life? Thanks."
"You don't need to talk to me like that." He cooed. "I know what you're like Jasey, I was always gonna be your reaper, since the very day you were born. I know everything about you, and I also know that you don't usually swear or talk back. That isn't like you; you're amish! Perhaps you are going to hell."
"The only reason I never swore was because I was saving it just for you." I seethed. "And was telling me I'm going to hell your way of convincing me to go with you?"
His grin widened. "I don't care, either way it'll happen."
I scoffed, and twisted my face in sheer disgust as I looked at him. I didn't want him near me at all, and he clearly knew that. I wasn't mad at him for being a reaper, I was just... Annoyed and displeased that he had to be my reaper, mostly because he was so condescending. I doubted he had convinced many souls to go to the other side before. In fact, if I had agreed to go, I would have probably been his first.
He began to walk closer to me, and suddenly I was hit with this wave of doubt and lack of bravery. I trembled with uneasiness and fear as he stood directly in front of me. I had always been timid and shy; I usually was never rude to people. But because of my gentle personality, that also made me vulnerable and an easy target, and our close proximity wasn't helping. Our bodies were so close together, that they were almost moulded into each other. I swallowed as his hand reached up, and his finger tips brushed against my cheek. The touch was soft; feather light, but it was still enough to have me quake with fear.
"Now," he whispered, as he began twirling a wavy strand of blonde hair in his finger, "come with me."
If I were still human — if I were still mortal — that would have been the perfect opportunity for him to hurt me. We were in the town's church, at three in the morning, in front of my casket. We were all alone without a single soul (besides my own) to be seen, and If I screamed for help, the closest house was about a mile from here. Nobody would arrive in time to save me.
But I wasn't human, nor was I mortal.
I sprinted as fast and as far away from him as my legs could carry. As I dove into a heavily forested area, I picked up the ends of my long white dress that had been dragged through the dirt and grime of the soil. I tried to be as quiet as possible, but the sound of my bare feet hitting against the loose, dead leaves on the ground made it difficult. Suddenly I heard the sound of a thin stick breaking, and I froze in place. I kept both my ears and my eyes open, and listened for any other possible sound that could be him.
The only sounds that could be heard was the quiet chirping of crickets, and the croaks of frogs. I deemed it safe to turn around and observe my surroundings, and I still saw nothing. Perhaps he had given up for the night. I've been dead for three days now, and each day he came back to torment me.
I knew that tormenting me wasn't exactly his job. Grim Reapers were not dangerous creatures, and I knew that. He wasn't harmful, he was just persistent in an unpleasant way. Maybe if I hadn't seen the affect that my death had on Alex, I wouldn't've minded going to the other side. But the thing is though, is that I had seen it, and knowing that he was in such an awful condition convinced me that I still belonged here, on earth, for as long as he lived.
Honestly, this is not what I imagined death would be like. When your suicidal, death looks like a deep sleep without disturbance; peaceful, quiet, content. You don't think there would be consequences, or that people would miss you. You just have extremely low self esteem, and no self worth at all. You don't think that you would be hurting anybody. At least that's the way I thought.
But then you actually get a chance to see what death is like, and what happens to the people you left behind, and you think: Wow, I was wrong. People actually do care. And then you realize, that death isn't actually eternal nothingness and peace like you thought it would be. The pain doesn't go away; it only grows, and it affects the other people who were in your life. Your sadness, anger, fear, anxiety and paranoia become an epidemic, and suddenly you find yourself in a bigger mess than what you were in before.
I started walking towards Alex's house, the ends of my dress dragging and sliding along the forest ground. If I had been a ghost for years, I might've known how to just appear in Alex's room; like teleportation. Maybe I would know how to move things, or even walk through walls. However, I had only been dead for 3 days (as I've already mentioned before), so I still walked the trek from wherever I was to his house. Although, I wouldn't call it walking. My bare feet barely dragged over the dirt as I continued working the distance. The soil and dirt started digging in my toe nails and sticking to my feet.
Finally, I reached the house. It was the largest home in the town; 4 storeys. When the town was first discovered, it was completely abandoned and deserted in the middle of the forest. The amish group that discovered it cleaned out some of the buildings, and decided to turn it into a community. Alex's home was one of the houses that was already there. The reason it was so large was because Alex's entire family lived in it, including his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, godparents, parents and siblings. They were one of the largest families in town, which was actually quite an achievement considering how most amish families are largely expanded.
I opened the door as quietly as I could, and then slowly closed it. Alex's room was in the attic, meaning that I had to climb several sets of stairs. I walked lazily through the living room, before I started to drag myself up the staircase. My shoulders were slouched, and my head was hung low causing my hair to fall in my face. I looked like I was straight out of a cliché horror book or a play, or even a character from Edgar Allen Poe's imagination. The fact that my hair was so tangled and that my face was so dirty didn't help, especially with a torn up dress.
As a mortal, climbing up these stairs was exhausting. Because I was so deathly thin (which I hadn't realized at the time), I barely had enough muscle to carry myself up every staircase. It got to the point that Alex would carry me on his back, and we'd walk up the stairs that way until we'd get to his room. But as a ghost, I felt no physical exhaustion at all. I could barely even feel my feet touching the ground.
As I got to Alex's bedroom door, I was relieved to see that it was already slightly ajar. I hated turning the door knob, as I was afraid that it would wake him up, even though he wouldn't have been able to see me.
When I pushed the oak wooden door open, I saw Alex was wide awake. I sighed to myself, as this was the 3rd night in a row that he had not slept. I walked over to him, and slowly laid my small hand on his shoulder. In return I had gotten no reaction from him, but of course I should've known not to expect one. I had learned during those long few days that he could not hear, see or feel me. No matter how loud I'd yell in his ear, or how hard I'd hit him, or how often I'd try to show myself, there was no communication between the two of us what so ever. I felt like it made the situation harder for the both of us.
Alex was sitting on the windowsill as he stared out the window. His expression didn't seem to be one of deep thought, but rather his eyes looked dull and his face blank.
I was about to attempt to call his name, but I was not able to utter a single syllable as he emerged from the windowsill. He grabbed a jacket from the bedroom floor, and he slid it onto his torso as he left his bedroom. Quickly, I followed him down each set of stairs and into the night.
He grabbed a lantern from his front porch, and lit it with a match from the box of matches he had tucked in his jacket pocket. As he began to walk onto a path, the light from the dancing flame in his lantern brightening his way, I trailed behind him safely. A feeling of longing and sadness overcame me as I recalled all the times that we had taken walks together in the dark with the exact same lantern. I would have done anything to be with him again, taking walks during midnight just like we used to.
After walking for about 15 minutes, he stopped as he reached his destination. I groaned as I realized we were back at the church. I still didn't feel safe to be there after what had happened only moments ago, but I felt like I had no choice but to enter as Alex pushed open the large wooden doors. I followed him inside, but didn't move far from the doorway as I noticed that he was still there. The grim reaper grinned knowingly, but I scowled at him. Alex continued to walk down the aisle, his footsteps echoing in the large room. He seemed unaware of the stare down between the reaper and I as he sat down in one of the front row benches. Humans were still alive were not able to see grim reapers. The only way a human would be able to see a reaper were if that human were dead. Much like I was.

"I knew you'd come back." The reaper spoke, his grin growing wider.

I didn't reply, and his smile faltered. He took a lung full of air before he spoke his next monologue.

"I've been thinking," he started, "and it's come to my attention that you seem to have attached yourself to this boy."

I scoffed. "I am not 'attached' to him."

"oh? Then why did you follow him all the way to this church?"

I didn't speak after that, because I knew he was right. Instead, I let him continue.

"As I was saying," he resumed, "I have an offer to make you. It's an offer I make to plenty of spirits like yourself."

"What is it?" I asked.

"You can stay here on earth with this boy as you wish, for as long as you wish. The catch is that you would have to kill or harm anyone who wishes to do this boy any misfortune. You would essentially become his guardian angel."

"Why would I have to kill him?"

"Because he is what your spirit's attached to. He's what's keeping you grounded to earth. In order for it stay that way, he has to stay alive and well."

"But I don't see why that would involve me harming other people."

"So that other people learn, and no one will harm him again. Hence having the title Guardian Angel. You would be his protector."

It still didn't make sense to me, even after his explanation. But at the same time, I still wanted to be with Alex for the rest of his life. It also seemed suitable that I'd be his guardian during his time of grief, since that was when he would be most vulnerable. And I couldn't think of anyone who would actually ever want to hurt him. Therefore, as much as it didn't make sense, I didn't see much of a catch.
That was my first mistake.

"Ok." I nodded, after debating my options in my head. "I accept your deal."



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