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Smooth Criminal

twenty-six.

I had just finished tying the small, transparent rubber band around the second miniature braid that was to wrap around my blonde head in a crown-like manner when the doorbell rang. My heart sank into the pit of my stomach, not ready to bear with the monsoon of family that was awaiting me downstairs.
“They’re here,” I could hear Parker’s voice sing eerily as his Van’s clomped past my bedroom. I released a long, wistful sigh before gliding a nude colored lipstick over my pouting bottom lip to tie together the subtle “nude” look I was going for to match my simply picked out long-sleeved apricot colored t-shirt dress that hit me just right above my knees. I gave my appearance one more glance before deciding that this was as good as it was going to get. I fluffed the scarf draping around my neck to hide the fading hickey from my Dallas adventures and began on my journey to the living room stuffed to the brink with people whom I shared blood with.
“Stella Lucille.”
The voice of my grandmother was very raspy due to her many years of being a chain smoker and it made me worry a bit about Amanda and Parker’s futures, considering the two of them had the similar traits of a chimney during the coldest times of winter.
Grammy Underwood was a tall, bony woman with a blonde pixie cut that usually poked in every which way. Her outfits normally shouted with desperation, for the woman was trying far too hard to “stay with the times,” she once told me. It was like the old woman was attempting to make up for all of the time she had lost when she was too busy chasing down delinquents back in her day as a cop. Now she just wasted her time knitting scarves and binge watching old sitcoms on TV all day with a freshly lit cigarette pinched between her chapped lips. That was when she wasn’t too busy trying to medal in everyone’s personal lives, that is. She always had some opinion on what was going on in her family’s lives, and when she had a solution, you best do it her way or no way at all. I wonder why that sounds so familiar…
“Hey, Grammy.” I tried to smile at the woman, I really did. But all that came from the effort was an obviously forced, closed lip smile that never quite reached my sarcastic eyes.
“My, my,” Grammy smacked her lips as she sauntered over to meet me across the room. “You look so pretty.”
I tucked my bottom lip between my teeth, careful not to snap at her for the lame compliment. ‘Pretty’ was seriously the best she could offer? The woman sees me for the first time in almost a year, and the only thing I get is ‘pretty?’
“I don’t think that dress is really appropriate, Lucille,” my father decided to chime in on the conversation. He grabbed the material of my dress that hung loosely off my right shoulder and rubbed it between his index finger and thumb. “It’s kind of skimpy.”
I exhaled deeply through my nose and did my best to brush the comment off. Fighting with my father was absolutely out of the question and I really didn’t want that kind of drama occurring right now. I was already stressed out enough with the amount of human bodies that were currently invading my house.
“She looks absolutely stunning, dear,” Mom came to the rescue, draping her arm over my shoulders. I offered her a meek smile in thanks for defending me, to which she returned with a pearly white grin of her own before placing a kiss on my temple. “Come help me in the kitchen.”
The two of us left the living room, Mom’s arm still hanging loosely on my shoulders, and made a beeline for the kitchen.
“What do you need help with?” I asked, rubbing my hands together and taking a look around the room, noticing that there really wasn’t much left to do. I glanced over at my mother and noted the sly smirk playing at her lips.
“Nothing. I finished everything a bit ago. I just knew you needed out of there before your father made you the objective target to bitch at.”
“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” I grinned at her and threw my arms tightly around her neck, careful not to completely crush her in the action. A loud chuckle rumbled through her body as she patted my back lovingly.
“Your father’s family stresses me out. I figured we could both save each other for the day.”
I shot her an exhausted, knowing smile and nodded my head. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

The Underwood family gathered around the dining room later that afternoon a bit too late that afternoon, in my opinion. The later we ate, the longer I was forced to endure the torture of these humans I was forced to call “family.” As I silently reached across the table for the bowl of mashed potatoes, I couldn’t help but overhear my cousins talking about the new craze going around their school. There was always some weird, totally bizarre fad every time I came in contact with the teens. I’m sure this time would be no different.
“Apparently they get their sound from New Found Glory and Blink-182,” Olivia was stating to Jeremy, our eldest cousin of twenty-three, her skinny cheeks puffed out as she chewed her dinner roll while she spoke. My ears immediately perked up at the mention of the two bands.
“Those are some good role models those guys have then. I’ll be sure to give them a listen to later,” Jeremy nonchalantly nodded his head as he scooped a fork-full of turkey into his mouth. “What’re they called again?” he asked through his full mouth. I winced as spit flew from the corner of his lips and landed near my general vicinity.
“All Time Low,” Harmony, Olivia’s older sister by two years, piped up. “They’re so good. I can’t believe you’ve never heard of them before.”
I just about choked on the food in my mouth. There was no way my cousins were talking about my boyfriend and best friends’ band.
“The lead singer, Alex, is super hot,” Olivia nodded her head with excitement and all I could do was sit there and try not to roll my eyes at the statement.
Jeremy snorted and rolled his eyes for me. “You’re sixteen years old, Olivia. You shouldn’t even know what a hot boy looks like.” The comment sent the girl in a tizzy; she crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes dramatically with a huff. I cupped my hand over my mouth to keep myself from laughing out loud and went back to trying to finish my meal in peace. That attempt was ruined the second Harmony continued to talk about the band.
“Apparently Alex is taken,” my cousin spat in annoyance. “Some hoe-bag that he goes to school with.” My eyes widened at the rude name calling that was, indirectly, aimed at me.
“I actually know her,” Parker piped up. I kicked his leg under the table and stared at him with widened eyes. “She’s actually super sweet.”
“Ohmygawd,” Olivia and Harmony gushed in unison.
“You know Alex?” Olivia squealed, bouncing in her seat excitedly. Parker just shrugged like it was no big deal - which it really wasn’t. Even before Alex and I were even friends, I never thought of him as a big deal. He’s in a band. So what? Doesn’t mean he’s automatically put on a pedestal that’s higher than everyone else’s. Just because the kid can sing well doesn’t mean he’s any more special than the next guy in line. But that’s just my own personal opinion, though.
“He’s really not all that special,” I finally spoke, lying through my pearly white teeth. “He’s kind of a jerk, honestly.” All eyes were suddenly on me, most likely out of surprise that I was actually partaking in a discussion, something that rarely ever happened. “He’s in one of my classes.” I shrugged my shoulders and popped a piece of bread into my mouth, indicating that I was done with my brief feedback on the topic.
“But, like, his eyes are so dreamy,” Olivia cooed, mentally causing me to vomit.
That’s my boyfriend, you dumb, Barbie bimbo.’ I thought to myself as a small pang of jealousy invaded the pit of my stomach. I somehow managed to ignore the rest of the conversation of which consisted of my cousins fawning over the love of my life right in front of me. I finished my meal in record time, excusing myself from the table and quickly ushering myself to my room, away from the madness and chaos. I collapsed on my bed with a loud sigh, untangling the scarf from my neck and throwing it across the room in a miniature temper tantrum at the conversation I was just forced to listen to. I know that they were just talking as if this was something totally normal, which, in anyone else’s life, it might’ve been. But this was my boyfriend and I felt this unnerving, shaken up sense of over protectiveness when I heard anyone talk about him like that.
“Knock, knock.”
I craned my neck up ever-so-slightly to see Parker walking into my room, and I felt a wide-spread of panic rush through my body. I threw my scarf across the fucking room. My hickey was in plain sight. Shit.
“Um, h-hey,” I stammered, flipping myself over on to my stomach so I could hide the blemish by propping myself up with my arms resting under my chin. “What’s up, bro?”
“I was about to head to the skate park, if you wanted to ‘go with me.’” He put quotation marks around the last part of the sentence with his fingers and I lofted a brow at him in confusion. “We can tell Dad that you’re coming with me and I’ll just drop you off at Alex’s house, doofus.” I nodded my head once he explained the plan to me. I grabbed my phone to notify Alex of the plan and quickly ushered my brother out of my room so I could change into a more comfortable outfit to hang out in. “Nice neck, by the way.” Parker laughed loudly as I was pushing him towards the door. “Tell Alex I would applaud his handy work if it wasn’t on my baby sister.”
“Duly noted,” I muttered as I closed the door, my cheeks burning all the way to my ears.
Too bad those aren’t from Alex,’ I thought glumly, dancing my way into a pair of leggings. I rummaged through the stack of clean clothes that sat at the foot of my bed that I had yet to put away and decided to throw on a stolen flannel, unknowingly (to him) provided by Alexander the Great himself. I laced up a pair of black Vans and threw a beanie on my blonde head as I went to snatch my phone from the charger, ready to go.
“And what are you telling Dad when he questions you about your shirt choice?” Parker laughed as he saw my outfit when my door opened. I rolled my eyes, texting Alex that I was on my way.
“That you’re a nice brother and lent me a shirt because I have no clean clothes.” I batted my eyelashes up at my brother with an angelic smile.
“You’re so lucky I love you,” he chortled. “Otherwise I’d kick your ass for being such a little shit all the time.” I smiled even wider and placed a quick kiss on his cheek before hopping down the steps. “Going to the skate park,” Parker hollered as we beelined for the front door.
Home before midnight, you two,” Mom called out sweetly as she gave us a smile that screamed ‘get me out of here.’ I shot her a sympathetic look, shrugging my shoulders slightly before exiting the all-too-crowded house. I physically felt the weight being lifted from my chest and I took in a deep inhale of fresh air.
“Good lord, I hate the holidays,” I breathed.
“And just think,” Parker started. “Christmas is right around the corner.” I growled in frustration, ripping the passenger side door open in an aggressive manor. “Tis the season.”
“My asshole,” I grumbled, adjusting my beanie. “Just get us the fuck out of here.”
Parker didn’t hesitate in the slightest to oblige to my command, the tires of the car squealing as he peeled out of the driveway and raced as far away from the house as we could possibly get.

Notes

*cries because I'm so tired of having to write dumb fillers*
This chapter is so lame. I'm so, so sorry. We're about to get down to the knitty-gritty parts soon though. And then you're all going to hate me forever. Until the sequel, at least... I'm so eager to start the sequel. I have so much planned for this story. Oh god, just you wait and see, kiddos.
As always, thank you so much for reading, commenting, and subscribing. Somehow I ended up on the popular page, and for that I have all of y'all to thank. You're seriously the greatest. I love each and every one of y'all. Even my little ghost readers. You're the best.
-Kate.<3

Comments

This was one of my absolute favorite stories. I am very curious to know if you are going to continue with this? Because I have to know what happens next.

BreaClift. BreaClift.
6/14/21

I want to know if there is going to be sequel to this story?

BreaClift. BreaClift.
3/26/19

I don't remember anything. I need to restart this. Damn, all I remember is loving this. Only more reason to read it all again.

Haha, keepin' it real. :) No worries, the only one that was kind of concerning was the Blink-180 because I think that's the first time I've ever seen that. XD But I figured it was a typo.
:)

Nanook Nanook
1/4/19

@Daydreamers her big reveal will be in the last chapter ;) hang tight.

katybear18 katybear18
1/4/19