She watched from her seat by the window as the plane started speeding down the runway, launching into the night sky. She had always hated flying; ever since she was a little girl. Her ears would pop and she always felt queasy. She liked to keep her feet on the ground, so she'd never have to worry about falling. Unfortunately for her, there was no other way out. And she had to get away.

She had slipped out only a few short hours ago. Although to her, those hours felt like days now. She had done her best to keep quiet as she packed what few belongings she had with her. She hadn't wanted to wake him up. A sick feeling came over her as the image of his sleeping body entered her mind. That was the last she had seen of him before she walked out the door. The scene was playing in her head like a movie on screen.

She knew what she was doing was horrible. It was completely heartless. It was unforgivable. And maybe that's just why she had done it. So he would hate her. She'd left without notice so maybe he wouldn't want to come after her. She wasn't the type to stick with one guy for too long anyway. She had been a free spirit her entire life, only interested in harmless fun and nothing more. Never once in her life had she ever considered that there might be someone out there just for her.

To her, the idea of love was like magic to a child. Yes, it was nice to believe in, but one can only wait so long for someone to prove its authenticity. She knew what she was in for when she agreed to go home with him. She knew she should have left that first morning, but something had made her stay. They had met in a Vegas casino. He had stolen her away to the rooftop where they had danced to the rhythm of the streets below, just the two of them. They laughed and spoke in whispers as they moved, clinging onto each other as if they would fall without the other supporting them.

She had not planned on falling for him. This was all supposed to be just another night in Vegas. There was something different about him that pulled her in. And when he leaned in to kiss her, she didn't resist. His lips had met hers with such intensity and passion, it was electrifying. Without even missing a beat, she had kissed him back. She wanted this—she wanted him. And that scared her more than anything, but for the time being she had pushed her fears aside.

He had taken her back to his hotel room. They drank wine and talked about everything imaginable. She had never heard herself talk so much, but it just came so easily with him. There was never an awkward pause or a moment of silence. As the night rolled on their words were replaced with kisses. She was the first to retreat, leaving him practically begging for more. With a grin she had taken him by the hand and led him to the bedroom.

That first morning was one of many surprises. She woke up in his arms. The way he held her made her feel warm—loved. Like a magnet, she was drawn to him and she didn’t want to leave. She had never felt so close to anyone. She hated using the word "perfect", but he was something like it. He had made her feel like no one ever had and now that she had had a taste of what "love" was like, she didn't want to let it go—not just yet.

This was the first surprise.

In that moment—when she opened her eyes and saw him lying next to her, his eyes still closed, fast asleep—she knew she was in love. She felt surprisingly calm at first, as she let that realization sink in. She loved him. That was all there was to it. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise, she knew that it was undeniable. She had fallen in love, quite by accident, and she had fallen dangerously fast.

Just as she began to panic, he woke up. He kissed her head and whispered "good morning" into her ear, nestling his face into her hair. Just the sound of his voice was enough to calm her nerves and she decided to stay put. The next surprise was that he could actually cook. Sure, eggs were a simple meal, but they were edible.

After breakfast, he had asked her to come back home with him. Still drunk on the feeling he gave her, she had said yes. And just like that, the two hopped on a plane and headed out to the East Coast. She felt like she was on an adventure. It was like entering a new reality. He walked her around his neighborhood, holding her hand in his all the way. They watched the sun go down from his porch steps as they ate their dinner together.

Afterwards, they went into the living room and watched a scary movie—her choice, of course. She was snuggled up in his chest, his arms wrapped around her tightly. He would gently squeeze her whenever she screamed and turned into him. He was her shield to block out all the fictional terrors. When the movie was over, the two retired to his bedroom for the night. The way he had held her so securely through the night made her feel safe—something she had never felt with anyone before.

She trusted him, which was also something she had never done and sworn she would never do. He was making her break all her rules. She wasn't used to not knowing what was coming next. She didn't like having no control. In that moment, she was sure that she loved him. In that frightening moment, she had made her decision.

She glanced over her shoulder and saw him sleeping soundly next to her. Slowly and carefully, she had slid out of his grip and climbed out of the bed. She paused for a moment, watching him as he slept. He looked so peaceful; so serene. Fresh tears stung her eyes as she pictured him waking from pleasant dreams to an empty bed and no explanation. She knew it would hurt him, but her choice had been made and she needed to do what was best for her.

While in this state of confusion and fear, she grew angry—angry at the fact that she had gone back on every promise she had ever made to herself and that she had done so without making any effort to stop. She refused to place the blame on herself, but she still needed someone to blame. It was one of the things she was best at. She continued to watch as his chest rose up and down at a steadily pace. She thought it must be his fault. He had done this to her. He had made her feel like someone she didn't even know.

Surprised by the tears stinging her eyes, she quickly wiped them dry and turned away from him. She cleaned herself up and got dressed. She was leaving. She wasn't sure where she would end up, but anywhere would feel better than here. She'd never see him again after this. She tried to convince herself that she didn't want to either. He was just another boy; just another casual fling.

She gathered her things and before leaving for good, stole one last kiss from him. She then slipped out of the house quietly and waited for the cab she had called. She tried to distract herself from the thoughts running through her head as she sat on those porch steps. This morning was a particularly silent one. There were no birds singing and there was no calming breeze. Everything was still.

As she sat there, flashbacks from the night the two had met played in her head like an old movie. She thought of that first glance, when their eyes had connected for the very first time. She pictured their first dance, on that rooftop in the middle of the night. Her lips tingled slightly as she remembered their first kiss. Dammit, why did he do this to her? She pushed him out of her thoughts and stood up as the cab arrived.

She wouldn't look for him and hopefully, he wouldn't look for her. She didn't want to be afraid—of him, of how she felt when he was around—but it was all too good to last. Besides, she had never been in a real relationship before. It was just something she didn't do. So, instead she did what she did best. She left.

As she sat on that plane, still gazing out to the clear black sky, looking down at the world beneath her she told herself that there was no turning back from this point. She had done the worst thing imaginable to someone who probably didn't deserve it. The feelings she had for him still lingered, but she simply brushed them off like dust on an old book. The walls that he had broken through had been reconstructed and by mid-flight, she was already convinced that she didn’t need him anymore. She was just fine on her own. She always had been.