What's My Age Again?

"What about First Response? It'll tell me six days before my missed period." I said sarcastically.

Kellin and I were at a drug store looking at pregnancy test. I didn't want to come, but it was either this or listen to him complain about it.

"Can you take this serious?" He picked up the pregnancy and read the package. "I think this one is good." He tried to hand the test to me and I frowned.

"I'm not holding that."

"You're the one that might be pregnant!" He whispered-yelled at me.

"Yeah but you're the one who wants me to take the test."

"Oh my god. Let's just walk to the counter together."

"Fine." I agreed.

He held the test and we both walked up to the cashier. He sat the pregnancy test on the counter and the cashier stared at us. It was an old lady and she looked so confused.

"Hi how are you ma'am?" Kellin asked her causally.

"Um fine thank you." She said sounding unsure. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. She scanned the item and threw it in a bag for us. I handed her my debt card and she swiped it.

"Um have a nice day." She said as she handed us the bag and receipt.

"Thanks you too." We both told her. I held the bag and followed Kellin out to his car. I felt like we just bought drugs or something illegal. I didn't like having this pregnancy test with me.

"We definitely made that lady's day." Kellin joked as he drove off.

"No we just confused her." I said. "Hey can we stop at McDonald's and get ice cream?" I asked and he nodded. He went through the drive thru to order it for me. I got an Oreo McFlurry and he took us to his house. His mom was out having lunch with my mom so we were alone at his house.

"Okay let me read how this thing works." Kellin said. I nodded as I stuffed more of the ice cream in my mouth. "It seems pretty simple. You go pee on this stick and then in two minutes it'll tell us whether or not you're pregnant."

"That's it?"

"Yep." He opened the package and handed me one of the two test in it.

I took it from his hand and stared down at it. It seemed kind of unreal to hold. What if this thing did actually turn out positive? My whole life would end if I was pregnant right now. Not only would my mom strangle me, but Alex would be affected by this too. He would have to deal with the fact that he was dating me, a minor, and got me pregnant.

"Jack, what are you waiting for?" Kellin asked.

"Sorry. I was just thinking." I mumbled.

"It's okay. I know this is probably scaring the fuck out of you, but you have to know."

I nodded and took a deep breath. I walked into his bathroom and closed the door behind me. I already had to pee so I wasn't going to have to force myself to do it. I took the plastic cap off the test and quickly peed on it. I felt awkward doing all of this. When I finished, I set the test on the counter and washed my hands. I opened the bathroom door and Kellin came in.

"Did you do it?" He asked nervously.

"Yeah we just have to wait now." I told him.

We both stood silently in the bathroom and waited for the two minutes to be up.

"I think it's been two minutes now." Kellin told me after a while.

"Okay." I sighed and picked up the test.

"What does it say?!?" He asked. I turned the test around to him because I couldn't get the words out.

"Is that a plus sign?? Jack! No wait is that really a plus sign??" He asked frantically and I nodded.

I felt like I was just punched in the stomach. Just from glancing at myself in the mirror I could tell that all the color had drained out of my face. I sat down on the lid of the toilet because I began to feel weak.

"I'm pregnant." I mumbled.

"Shit." Kellin said.

"I'm pregnant." I repeated.

"Jack-" he tried to get my attention, but I was in a daze.

"I'm pregnant."

"Jack." He shook me. "It's going to be okay. We'll figure something out." He said, trying to calm me down.

"I have to get rid of it." I said without thinking and Kellin sighed.

"No you're just in shock and are panicking. You shouldn't make decisions when you're emotional."

"Kellin, I'm pregnant. Do you know what that means? That means in three or four months my stomach is going to start sticking out and my mom is going to become suspicious. She's going to find out that I'm pregnant. Then she's going to wait until the baby is born and kill me."

"No no if anything she's going to want to know who the father is." He said.

"I can't tell her because Alex can get in serious trouble. And what the fuck am I supposed to tell Alex? That I'm actually sixteen and I have the ability to get pregnant and he actually got me pregnant."

"Goddamnit." He sighed. "Okay we've created a big mess. I think the best way for this all to work out is for you to tell your mom that you got drunk and had a one night stand with someone then you're going to have to break up with Alex before he finds anything out." He suggested.

"No I don't want to break up with Alex and I don't want my mom to think I was that stupid to sleep with a random guy." I complained.

"If you don't want to break up with Alex then you have to tell him the truth...the whole truth. Your age and about the pregnancy. You can't just not tell him." He said. I could barely focus on what he was saying because I felt so sick. I could feel the ice cream, I just ate, coming up. I got up from the toilet and I lifted the top. Then I got on my knees and threw up in it. This all just felt like one big nightmare.

"We have to tell someone. I don't want anything bad to happen to you, Jack." He said worriedly and I flushed the toilet.

"No please you have to promise you won't tell my mom, your mom, Alex, May, Vic, or anyone. I'm not ready for this yet." I gestured to my stomach.

"Jack I don't kn-"

"-You have to promise me Kellin!" I stressed.

". . . Yeah okay. I won't tell anyone yet."

"Thank you." I got up from the toilet and sat down on the floor.

"Just let me think." I told him. I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to get rid of the baby. I didn't want to tell Alex the truth and risk losing him. I didn't want to tell my mom the truth and have her think differently of me. I had no idea what I should do in this situation. "I don't know what to do. I'm so confused." I admitted.

"Okay you're going to have to tell your mom sometime soon because she's going to find out. Same goes with Alex. He's going to see your stomach and know that something isn't right." He reasoned.

"Okay but let's say I tell Alex that I'm pregnant. He's going to want to support it with me which is going to result in my mom finding out his true age somehow and getting him arrested." I said.

"That's why I said you have to break up with him. That way he won't be around when you're stomach begins growing and your mom won't ever find out who the father is." He said. I knew I would never be able to bring myself to break up with Alex, but I agreed anyways.

"Okay. Just give me a few days to think things through." I exhaled. Kellin sat next to me and put his arm over my shoulder.

"I'm going to be here to help you through this. Even if I have to get a job to help support him or her." He said sincerely, making my eyes water.

"Thank you." I sniffled and wiped at me eyes.

"Of course."

I laid my head on his shoulder and tried my best to calm myself down. If I wasn't so stubborn, I would have listened to Kellin the first time he suspected I was pregnant. Now I'm probably one month pregnant so I'll be showing in two to three more months. I had to tell my mom sometime before then.

"How do you think I should tell my mom?" I asked.

"Um maybe start by telling her that you made a mistake by getting drunk at a party. Say that you remember having sex with someone, but you don't know who. Then tell her that you took a pregnancy test and it came out positive." He explained.

"She's going to cry." I mumbled. I knew my mom would be so disappointed and hurt that she would end up crying. She had May at a young age and often said she didn't want any of us to go through that struggle.

"She's your mom. Of course she's going to cry when you tell her something like this." He said.

"I don't want to make my mom cry though." I complained.

"It's okay. She won't stop loving you over this. I think you should tell her as soon as possible. If you wait too long and she finds out on her own she might become angry."

"Yeah she always says she'd rather hear us tell her bad news than her hear it from someone else."

"Exactly so don't want too long to say anything." He suggested.

"Okay."

***

I was home with my mom spending time with her before she had to go to work. We were laying on her bed watching Grey's Anatomy. I don't know why she liked watching this show, you would think she would be tired of seeing hospital environments. I wasn't paying attention to anything happening on the show. I couldn't stop thinking about me being pregnant. I know I've lied to my mom so many times, but this lie felt unbearable. Like Kellin said, she needed to know. I was just couldn't bring myself to tell her. She probably wouldn't even be able to look at me once I told her.

"What's a'matter, baby?" My mom woke me up from my thoughts.

"Nothing I was just thinking." I said.

"Is everything alright? You seem down."

I looked down at my hand trying to force myself to just blurt it out. Tears being to fall down my face before I could stop them and she sat up to hug me.

"Tell me what's wrong." She said as she held me tightly. I whimpered against her shoulder, but I couldn't form the words. "Jack, you're scaring me!"

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Shh it's alright. Just tell me what's wrong so I can make it better." She said worriedly.

"I-I...I just had a really bad day." I mumbled.

"What happened?"

"Can we talk about it later? I just want to forget about it for tonight." I pleaded.

"Of course, Honey." She helped me lay down and get comfortable in her bed. "Take your time." She kissed me on the forehead and rubbed my hair. It felt so soothing that I forgot about my problems for the night.

Notes

Now you can all stress and take your anger out on me!