Ash’s POV
Just a week left of school before Christmas break started. It was a much needed break for everyone. We were all over worked, me with trying to keep up with classes and grades, the boys busy writing songs, Lianne trying to figure out her sexuality, and Harper just needed a break from her family. Just one more week of working our butts off and we’d finally get a week and a half off. It wasn’t much, a lot less than what we got in Germany, but it was good enough for me. I was happy if it just meant I could finally recharge and sleep in for a couple of days. At the moment, I was way too fatigued.

This Friday, however, we weren’t going to go to a party. There were enough to go to, but I wasn’t going to let myself get that drunk again. Alex told me everything I had done around him that night, and I surely was embarrassed. If I had been sober at all, I wouldn’t ever had even thought about doing anything like that. Sure, I trusted him 100%, especially after everything he had done for me, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go that far yet. First, I had to express my love to him as well, and then I’d maybe think about it. Well, I wouldn’t think about it, I’d be fine with it happening. I mean, he hadn’t judged me about anything, so maybe he was the right person to try again with. I didn’t really know, I just wasn’t ready at that moment yet.

So, we didn’t go to a party, but we decided to go to a lake, just the seven of us. It was this secluded place up in the woods, in between all the trees. The path that once led there was overgrown and barely existed anymore. Nobody even knew about it, except a handful of people, Alex and Jack being two of them.

Jack had managed to persuade his mom to let him borrow the minivan again and we quickly filled the back with some cozy blankets, a couple of fold up chairs, and two six packs of beer, courtesy of Zack’s older sister. Of course that meant that one of us had to stay sober, and Rian happily offered to take that role, once again staying out of the drinking for the night. I would have volunteered, but I couldn’t exactly legally drive here, so it was better that I’d just stay quiet. That didn’t mean I was actually planning on drinking two cans of beer. Not that I would get drunk from that, but because I just didn’t feel like it. I just wanted to stay away from alcohol for a while, which was why we also brought some soda with us.

We managed to park the car somewhere on the side of the road before having to find our way through the tangled mess of trees. At least it hadn’t snowed yet, or the path would have become ten times more dangerous. The leaves and twigs cracked underneath our heavy shoes, Alex and I trailing behind while holding each other’s hands. Normally places like this would have scared me, shadows lurking at every tree, but I strangely felt at peace with my boyfriend next to me and my best friends leading the way. Nothing could ruin this night, nothing at all.

Pushing the last painful twig to the side we made it to the open space with the lake in the middle. An old rubbly dock was still standing with all its might, trying to withstand the elements that tried to make it collapse, the green moss long having taken over the original oak wood color. The ice hadn’t managed to create its blanket yet, only tickling at the side of the water, nearly breaking when a leaf fell on it. If it were summer, I would have ran down that green grass and hopped into the shallow water, seeking for refreshment. But now it was just a place to admire from a safe distance. I could tell the water would nip at my skin until I was numb if I kept my finger in long enough.

Jack was quick to open five cans of beer, handing them out to everyone who wanted one. The cracking of the aluminium echoed from the endless barrier of trees as the pressure in the cans was released with just the pull of a tab. The coke I was handling with care seemed to be just as satisfying as the alcoholic beverage, as we all gathered around in our winter coats and scarves. Something needed to be celebrated, but we didn’t know exactly what. There was too much coming up.

“To it almost being your birthday!” I exclaimed and looked at Alex, holding up my can that held an innocent drink along with Rian, while the others held up their alcoholic beverage.

All the metal containers were quickly brought to our lips as we each took a drink. Alex slipped his arm around my waist, bringing me closer to his side so I was pressed into him. Before I had time to look up at him with a smile, my drink was replaced with his lips, pressing a sweet, but not all too innocent, kiss to my mouth.

“You taste like coke,” he mumbled.

“You taste like beer,” I whispered and bit my lip.

“Geez,” Zack scoffed, “I wondered why that would be? I mean, would somebody please call the emergency services!”

I pulled away from Alex to look at Zack with wide eyes. “He speaks!”

“Of course I speak!” He faked being seriously offended by my comment, but tried to make it seem as realistic as possible. “You just never happen to be around when I have something to say.”

I pouted, trying to get him to apologize for what he said, rather than me apologizing for my comment. I just needed to see if I could guilt trip him like I could guilt trip Jack. It would be pretty useful to get a couple of guys to make it easier for me to get something if I needed it. You know, like protecting me when needed.

“Oh no, now you’ve made her sad,” Rian shook his head, “Alex, go make her happy.”

And that’s what Alex tried to do by trying to slip his hands underneath my jacket and tickle me. He succeeded at first, but I quickly jumped away from him before he could continue. I ran as fast as I could, nonstop giggles escaping my mouth, not looking behind me to see how close by he was. However, I could hear how close his footsteps were, his breathing nearly tickling the hairs on the back of my neck.

Eventually, I managed to run into a dead end. I either had to run onto that forgotten dock and risk falling through, or I had to be caught by Alex. It is obvious which one I was going to choose. Quickly turning around and coming to a stop, Alex nearly collided into me. When his arms came up to wrap around me, I tried to duck underneath them and run once again, but I managed to slip, causing us both to topple over. As Alex’s body hit the cold floor, I fell right on top of him, my weight hitting him in all the wrong parts.

He groaned loudly as I rolled off him, my laughter filling the air. I knew I shouldn’t be laughing at him when he was literally on the floor, holding his crotch in pain, but I just couldn’t stop thinking about the irony. Just a couple months before, that had been Jack, the guy he had been jealous of. I guess Alex wasn’t exactly jealous of everything, but he still got the whole package.

I got up and held my hand out the help him up as well. At least he wasn’t making as much drama as Jack was. He took my hand, and let me pull him up, trying to ignore that pain that was still there. But, as soon as we started walking, he held on to me and started walking funny.

“Goddammit,” he grumbled, keeping his legs far apart from each other, “I didn’t need you breaking my dick today; I’d still like to use it.”

A while later, we had managed to start a small fire at a makeshift fireplace, where the guys had made one before. We all sat around the fire, trying to heat ourselves up, occasionally talking as one big group, and other times having our own private conversations. Alex had trusted me to sit in his lap again, but only after the pain was no longer there -- which took a while, I was just sitting on a blanket with my back against his legs before -- and we were cuddled up together.
It was that moment when I decided it was time.

“Hey, Alex?” I sighed into his neck, losing my grip on him just a bit to get his attention, “can I talk to you? Like… alone?”

“Yeah…” He picked me up and walked me over closer to the border of trees, somewhere where our friends couldn’t hear us.

After he set me down onto my own feet and I looked up at him to see him staring at me already, I suddenly realised I really had had to prepare what I wanted to say. I was just frozen, not sure how to get the words out of my mouth. My mouth wouldn’t even open, when I quickly looked down at the ground as if there would be a cheat sheet for me there. I never did this before, I didn’t know how to do it. They really had to give classes about these important life events. It wasn’t something I wanted to fuck up.

“Ash, is everything ok?” Alex decided to speak up, starting to get worried because of my silence. He ran a hand through my hair before slowly lifting my head to look up at him. “You know you can tell me everything.”

I just nodded, the nerves running through my whole body. I couldn’t just back out. Not only would I disappoint myself by doing that, but it would keep Alex worried forever, he would never believe me even when I actually told him what I wanted to say. I had to do it now, or live with the consequences.

“Really, Ash, you’re starting to scare me,” he whispered, his voice still shaking despite his quiet tone, “you know I love you.”

I let out a sigh of relief and couldn’t help but grin as I looked up at Alex again. He seemed so confused, not understanding what had suddenly switched my mood in a split second. But he just set up something to make it easy for me to say what I wanted to. I no longer had to start it myself.

“I love you too,” I smiled as a blush crept onto my cheeks. I knew I didn’t need to be embarrassed around Alex, but I couldn’t help it. This was quite a big confession.

“Wait, what? Are you… Are you saying that…?”

“I love you,” I told him this time, caressing both his cheeks with my hands as I stood on my toes to initiate a sweet and loving kiss. Alex craned his neck down so it was easier for me to reach and wrapped his own arms around my waist, interlocking his finger behind my back.

This was the first kiss where we both knew we loved each other. I know we were both still young, but it felt right to me. Adults tell us we don’t know what it’s like. But when do you? When is that magical moment when you’re suddenly old enough to understand it? It isn’t about age, it’s about what you feel. And what I felt with Alex was right. I didn’t have these heart flutters for no reason.

The rest of the night, we couldn’t stay away from each other. His lips were on mine whenever neither of us were talking. Everybody around us could tell something was going on, but not exactly what. They just dealt with our constant kissing. Even in the car ride home -- Alex and I sat in the very back by ourselves so nobody had to deal with our PDA -- Rian would gives us occasional glances through the rearview mirror, and Jack had given up on teasing us. Nothing was going ruin this moment.

Notes

Just found out I only have eight more chapters to write, meaning there should be 13 more for you to read including the epilogue. Slowly but surely this is coming to an end.