Alex’s POV

Jack decided to stay over after driving everybody back to their houses. It was a last minute decision. He was going to drop us off and then continue home, but something just made him decide he was going to sleep over at my place. Normally that would be ok, we always randomly stayed over at each other’s places and could stay there for days, but I just wanted to be alone. I was still shaken up about the fact that Ash kissed me, but also extremely hurt about her not even thinking about how I felt about all this. This situation was fucked up and I was just making it worse for myself.

“Ok, you have been avoiding the question, but you have to tell me about the kiss,” Jack wiggled his eyebrows and nudged me.

We were seated on the floor in my room. Music was playing in the background and my mind was going crazy with ideas for lyrics and melodies. I was going to be able to write a lot of new songs as soon as I got some time, a guitar, and my notebook. Maybe we could make a good album and actually get signed.

“It was nothing,” I mumbled and leaned backwards until I was lying down flat on the wooden floor.

Jack, of course, didn’t like that answer, “come on, it must have meant something!”

“Well, it didn’t, so leave it be,” I groaned and ran my hands over my face. I didn’t need him making things even worse.

“It was her first kiss, it must-”

I shot up straight and glared at him, “god dammit, Jack, just leave it be! It meant nothing and it never will!”

He looked taken aback, not expecting me to burst out like that, “you’re just not sure what you want and have to do now.”

That was the wrong thing to say; it turned my anger up another notch, “I fucking do know what I want and I fucking know what she wants! But it does not overlap! Can’t you just understand that!”

“Dude, calm down!” Jack shouted back, but he wasn’t angry like I was, he was just trying to get me to relax and slow down, “I’m just trying to see this all in a positive way, you should too.”

“But there isn’t anything positive about this,” I muttered and looked down at my hands, which were limply lying in my lap, “I thought things were going well, but they aren’t. She sees me as just a friend, nothing more, and I just have to accept that.”

“Don’t give up just yet, “ he tried to encourage.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, seriously thinking about just leaving it be, “maybe I should-”

There was a knock on the door and not even a second later, the door opened. Jack and I both looked up to see the person we were just talking about. She was wearing short checkered shorts and a loose fitting tank top. Even without a bra, her boobs still looked amazing. But what threw me off was the red eyes and the face that looked like it had just been recently tear stained.

“Umm,” she hid behind the door while trying to remember what she was going to say, before pointing at me, “your parents have already gone to bed. I’m going too… So, umm, goodnight.”

I frowned and forgot about the anger I felt just seconds ago, “ok, goodnight, are you ok, though? You look like you’ve been crying.”

“I’m fine,” she nodded and walked out, softly closing the door behind her.

Something was wrong, she really wasn’t fine… but I wasn’t going to go after her. I probably should have, but I was done for today. Maybe I wasn’t going to give up on her 100%, but for now, I was.

----
Ash’s POV

The day had been great. I had actually had fun, even though I had to spend the entire day with Alex, again. You know, he was actually quite a good kisser. I was so relieved that he kissed me back and led the whole thing. It would have been so awkward if he just stood there; I really didn’t know what to do, so I was so glad he did. I realized that a first kiss was just a first kiss. I would much rather find the right person and actually know how to kiss them than be really awkward. At least it was Alex who did it for me and not some random guy at some party. That would have been terrible.

Well, as I said before the day had been great, that was until I got a phone call. It happened at 8 pm, when it was 2 am at home, in Germany. Alex, Jack, and I had just finished eating some leftovers. I went back to my room to leave Alex and Jack to do whatever they always did when sleeping over. Things were nice and calm; my clock was softly ticking and the streetlights illuminated the road outside my room with a welcoming orange glow. I closed the curtain, not wanting anybody to look in, and turned around to get my phone to put on my playlist. But just as I was about to open my music, the phone started ringing. My brother’s name, Kayden, was displayed in white letters on the bright screen. I knew straight away that it wasn’t good. He would never call me at 2 am unless it was bad.

I answered the phone and was immediately greeted with what I was afraid of. There was labored breathing and sobs. He was muttering something, but I couldn’t understand anything. But, having encountered this before, I already knew exactly what he was saying.

“Hey, Kayden,” I said in a soft voice to try and calm him down, “tell me what’s wrong.”

“T-t-they are h-here!” He screamed, but not loud enough to wake up anybody else in the house, “t-they want to kill me! T-they are g-going to k-kill me! A-ash! T-they are g-going to kill me!”

“Shhh, it’s ok, they’re not going to do you any harm,” I told him carefully.

“N-no!” He sobbed loudly, “t-they are! T-they w-want me dead!”

A tear escaped my eye, “they’re not going to, they’re not real.”

“But they are telling me they are!” He sounded in distress.

“No, Kayden,” even though I felt like crying myself, I stayed calm, “listen to me, not to the voices.”

“I-I’m trying!”

“How about I play that song again which makes them go away? I finished writing it,” I already started walking to the electric piano and turned it on.

He didn’t answer, but instead started crying, so I took it as a yes. Whenever Kayden got another attack, I would take him downstairs and play music for him. I had tried many different songs, but none of them ever worked, until I started improvising myself. It was the only melody that got him to calm down. I started writing it down, and ever since I continued to work on it, adding pieces whenever I would have to play it. Even after coming here, I continued, but at my own pace. I wanted it done as soon as possible so I could play it for Kayden whenever needed. And I finished it the day Alex walked in on me playing it in the music room.

I turned the volume down so it wouldn’t disturb anybody, but made sure it was still loud enough for Kayden to hear clearly. My fingers touched the keys and I started playing the familiar tune. To make sure I knew what was going on with Kayden, I put the phone on loudspeaker before playing. Slowly but surely his breath started following the beat of the song; nice and steady, and slow.

I finished the song, realizing tears had run down my cheeks and onto my neck, some of them dropping down to the shorts I was wearing. Kayden let out a small thank you, and I took the phone off loudspeaker before putting it to my ear again.

“How are you feeling?” I asked him and sat down on the floor, my back against one of the walls.

“Much better,” the tone in his voice sounded a lot more controlled.

“Do you want me to tell you a story?” I asked, following the routine we always had at home.

There was some shuffling on the other end, probably from Kayden getting back in bed, “yes, please.”

I started making up a story on the spot, “once upon a time, there was a girl and a boy. They were forced to live together, and they really hated each other. Everything one did, annoyed the other, and there were always smart comments being made. They did anything to make each other’s lives miserable. Both of them wanted to be friends, but both of them were too stubborn to change their behavior. But one day, they realized everything they were doing was just really stupid. So, they decided to be friends. Things were a bit rocky in the beginning, but things started going really well. They became really good friends and one day the girl decided to kiss the boy. It was just to trick their friends, though. The girl just hoped it wouldn’t give the boy the wrong idea, though; she didn’t want to scare him off-”

I was going to continue and imagine how the story of Alex and I would continue, but the soft snores of my brother cut me off. It was great timing, now I wouldn’t expect certain things. But I was truly afraid I gave Alex the wrong impression… He was the only guy that hadn’t shown any interest in me, and I liked that. I really hoped I didn’t ruin our friendship with the stupid prank that wasn’t even a prank. Seriously, I didn’t even know why I kissed him. It didn’t get any funny reactions and I literally didn’t even think it through. It was like my body wanted to kiss him, but my mind really didn’t know what I was doing.

I stayed on the phone a bit longer, making sure my brother wouldn’t suddenly wake up. When I was sure he was in a deep sleep I whispered goodnight to him. I hung up and immediately started crying. Life was so unfair. My brother, my 10-year-old brother, had anxiety and was bipolar. One moment he’d be the happiest kid I knew, and the next he’d be having a mental breakdown like this. He always thought there were people out to get him when he got like this. It was just so unfair. I’d rather have me be the one in pain than have him have attacks like this.

I dried up my tears and got changed into my pajamas. This whole day was way too much for me and I was exhausted. I looked at the clock at saw it was 9:30 pm already. My phone bill was probably really high, but I didn’t care; my brother was more important. I dazedly walked to the bathroom, seeing that all the lights were turned off downstairs and in Isobel’s and Peter’s bedroom, telling me they had gone to bed. My face looked terrible: puffy and the color was drained from anything that wasn’t red. I splashed some water on my face, hoping it would rid rid of the heavy feeling. It only helped slightly, but I just couldn’t care anymore.

I went to Alex room and knocked on the door, before opening it. Alex was in the middle of a sentence, but immediately shut up when he saw me. I told them I was going to bed and Alex realized I had been crying. Just wanting to go to bed, I told him I was fine and left before anything else could be said.

I kind of expected him to follow me, but he didn’t. And I wasn’t sure whether or not I liked it…

Notes

Woah, ok, I suddenly realised it was Friday... I hadn't written shit on Wednesday or yesterday since I came home of Wednesday and came home pretty late yesterday. But I promised a new chapter. Unfortunately, I am only able to update this story for this reason and now Hospital Beds and Memories, but I know what I want to write in the next chapter, so it might be up tomorrow.

Anywho, time to ask questions and make comments about the chapter! You guys sort of know why Ash kissed Alex, now, but it's probably not what you want to hear... if it isn't clear, she didn't know what she was doing until she was actually kissing him, and she only thinks it's useful so it won't be awkward whenever she kisses somebody she really wants to kiss. Also, she's happy it was Alex and not some random guy that couldn't give a fuck. But she still can't realise that Alex has the hugest crush on her!

And there's some more info about the whole brother situation. This was actually something that I had outlined before I started the story, so slowly but surely we are getting to the part I was excited to write about! I hope you're just as pumped as I am!

Wooo!