Live While We're Young
Beautiful Disaster
Zack's POV
Everyone went back to Charlotte and Finlee’s place this morning to freshen up. I couldn’t stand to leave Finlee’s side so I decided I would stay here and deal with looking like shit. Alex did promise to bring me back some Starbucks at least.
Finlee looks so lonely in that bed. I just want to trade places with her so bad. My life has not been nearly as unlucky as this girl. It is killing my heart that she is the one in the hospital bed out of all of us. The doctors say her vital signs are becoming more promising by the hour which I take as a good sign. We have been here with her for two days now and we are going on tour in a couple days so I am hoping that she wakes up before then.
“Come on Finlee, please wake up. Charlotte is not functioning well without you. Now that I think of it, none of us are. I know, I know us guys barely know you but you have definitely affected us. I especially have realized that you are that sweet girl I have been reading all about. I love your blog Fin, I could never admit that to you when you’re conscious of course because then I would sound like a stalker. And I think you are a beautiful disaster that I want to help mend one day. That means you need to wake up, so I can prove to you not everyone will leave you!”
Finlee's POV
As I am trying to open my eyes all I hear is Zack’s voice and feel so much pain. What the hell happened and why can’t I open my eyes? Why does my throat hurt? I decided not to fight the pain and to just listen to Zack’s soothing voice talk to me.
“…I could never admit that to you when you’re conscious of course because then I would sound like a stalker. And I think you are a beautiful disaster that I want to help mend one day. That means you need to wake up, so I can prove to you not everyone will leave you”
When he said this it made me smile and it made the butterflies roam in full force throughout my body. Little does he know beautiful disaster is basically my theme song and that I just heard him admit his feelings to me. I guess I should keep trying to show him I am here; maybe I should try squeezing his hand. This seems difficult as well but I am determined to show him I will be okay. I am trying my hardest when finally my hand is able to move, I know he felt it because I heard him gasp when I did it.
I felt him lean over my bed to do something and then I hear, “nurse! I think she’s waking up!”
Next thing I know all of these doctors and nurses are around me doing something. It is quite annoying that I do not know what happened and they are grabbing things and pulling things. They are hitting my refluxes and looking at my pupils (which by the way it is very bright when they do this!) and then they force my mouth open and pull something out. Oh my goodness this is painful, which apparently I am able to express to them suddenly.
They all stop when they hear me say, “Ow! Get off of me,” and then my eyes flutter open and I say “What the fuck happened and why are you all around me?”
They all look stunned, Zack included. Zack is able to open his mouth to tell me the story from what the cops told him all the way to the moment that I woke up (leaving out the parts where he confesses of course, ugh!). The last thing I remember before the “accident” is thinking about what the P.I. told me and how I needed to open the letter.
Zack's POV
It is so nice to see those beautiful blue eyes again. I was so worried about her. I hope that she didn’t hear me say any of my speech that would be really embarrassing.
“Zack, thanks for staying with me and don’t get mad at me for saying this but you look like shit,” Finlee croaked out.
This statement made me smile, that is the witty girl we have come to know the past few days.
“I could never leave you in this room alone. Charlotte and the guys went to your place to get cleaned up and to get coffee about an hour ago,’ I replied. “Do you remember anything?”
“I remember coming out of the P.I.’s office thinking about what he told me.”
“The P.I.’s office? Why were you at a P.I.?” I asked. After I asked this she looked mortified. Her face softened then and she spilled the beans about her life. It felt so nice for her to know that I knew about it too.
“You should read the letter then Finlee. Maybe it will help you get closure,” slipped out my mouth, “And I will be here for you if you find anything bad out. I need to text the guys the good news of you being awake now.” To: Jack
From: Zack
FINLEE IS AWAKE!!!!!!!! To: Zack
From: Jack
WE ARE ON OUR WAY!!!! And we will come bearing gifts.
Finlee's POV
Zack and I have been ‘discussing’ me reading the letter from my mom. I am about to declare defeat to him. He is just too cute when he is passionate about something and I know he is right deep down. The letter read: To: Finlee Rayne Zaitz
From: Your mother Annalese Zaitz
Hello Fin,
If you are reading this letter it means you have begun your search for me. You have a brother, Fisher, who is 13 months older than you so he was about 2 when I dropped you off at the police station. I was 18 when I had Fisher and 19 when I had you. I gave you up so that you would have a better life. I couldn’t give Fisher up though, I was more bonded with him than I was with you. I married your father James when I got pregnant with your brother. Your father and I have been friends for a very long time and we have found that drugs are far more important than having to take care of 2 children. Hopefully taking care of just one while feeling better will help us out a bit and we can let you grow up normal.
You are one beautiful girl Finlee and I know you will make it far in life. I would suggest when you find this letter that you do your best at not contacting us if it is possible. I told your father that you had died in your sleep so he wouldn’t beat me for giving you up so it would not turn out well for ME if you showed up suddenly. So if it is possible just contact your brother Fisher and tell him not to tell his dad. Thank you for your consideration.
~Mama As I read this letter I begin to break down. Zack is such a sweetheart about consoling me when this happens too. I am glad I have somebody here to help me after she basically told me to fuck off. This letter tells me exactly what I was afraid of which sucks.
“I am so sorry Finlee, I am here for you for whatever you want to do with this bump in the road.”
“Thanks Zack, it means a lot to me,” I replied with tears streaming down my face. As we are having a moment we hear a very loud Jack and Char running towards us.
“Oh my God Rayne you had us all so worried,” Char huffed as they walked in.
With that Jack said, “We all brought you your favorite flowers to help you feel better.”
“Thanks guys!”
Then Alex chimed in, “And to make sure either you or Charlotte get hurt we are forcefully going to suggest you guys come on tour with us when you get out of this hell hole.”
This made Char smile ear to ear which meant I couldn’t oppose the suggestion but I had to ask about my job anyway, “Your boss says you need to go have fun and relax and I got all of our homework for the rest of the semester so you better not say no!”
Well I guess that means I am going on a bus with my best friend and four stinky boys for a few months. This should make finding my family interesting.
October 19, 2011
Hey everyone,
Sorry for the lapse in updates. I see my roommate let y’ll know I had a little accident. I am beginning to get better.
I went to see the P.I. the other day. In fact I was on my way home from seeing him when the accident happened. From what I was told a semi jack-knifed and cause a multiple car fatal accident on the highway about 20 minutes from home.
Zack (yes the one from ATL [:) stayed at the hospital the whole time I was in a coma and told me what happened. I also slipped and told him why I was in Maryland. He convinced me to read that damn letter because the P.I. had told me I wouldn’t be able to find out much unless I read it. It said basically what I thought it would but you know what she can meet me and see what a beautiful success I have become.
The boys have become close to Char and I the last few days and are leaving for tour in no time. They said that they didn’t want either of us to get hurt while they are away so… WE ARE GOING ON TOUR WITH ALL TIME LOW!!! Once I get out of this damn hospital of course. Well I will continue to update y’ll. Have an awesome day subscribers :)
Thank you for your prayers,
Finlee
Everyone went back to Charlotte and Finlee’s place this morning to freshen up. I couldn’t stand to leave Finlee’s side so I decided I would stay here and deal with looking like shit. Alex did promise to bring me back some Starbucks at least.
Finlee looks so lonely in that bed. I just want to trade places with her so bad. My life has not been nearly as unlucky as this girl. It is killing my heart that she is the one in the hospital bed out of all of us. The doctors say her vital signs are becoming more promising by the hour which I take as a good sign. We have been here with her for two days now and we are going on tour in a couple days so I am hoping that she wakes up before then.
“Come on Finlee, please wake up. Charlotte is not functioning well without you. Now that I think of it, none of us are. I know, I know us guys barely know you but you have definitely affected us. I especially have realized that you are that sweet girl I have been reading all about. I love your blog Fin, I could never admit that to you when you’re conscious of course because then I would sound like a stalker. And I think you are a beautiful disaster that I want to help mend one day. That means you need to wake up, so I can prove to you not everyone will leave you!”
Finlee's POV
As I am trying to open my eyes all I hear is Zack’s voice and feel so much pain. What the hell happened and why can’t I open my eyes? Why does my throat hurt? I decided not to fight the pain and to just listen to Zack’s soothing voice talk to me.
“…I could never admit that to you when you’re conscious of course because then I would sound like a stalker. And I think you are a beautiful disaster that I want to help mend one day. That means you need to wake up, so I can prove to you not everyone will leave you”
When he said this it made me smile and it made the butterflies roam in full force throughout my body. Little does he know beautiful disaster is basically my theme song and that I just heard him admit his feelings to me. I guess I should keep trying to show him I am here; maybe I should try squeezing his hand. This seems difficult as well but I am determined to show him I will be okay. I am trying my hardest when finally my hand is able to move, I know he felt it because I heard him gasp when I did it.
I felt him lean over my bed to do something and then I hear, “nurse! I think she’s waking up!”
Next thing I know all of these doctors and nurses are around me doing something. It is quite annoying that I do not know what happened and they are grabbing things and pulling things. They are hitting my refluxes and looking at my pupils (which by the way it is very bright when they do this!) and then they force my mouth open and pull something out. Oh my goodness this is painful, which apparently I am able to express to them suddenly.
They all stop when they hear me say, “Ow! Get off of me,” and then my eyes flutter open and I say “What the fuck happened and why are you all around me?”
They all look stunned, Zack included. Zack is able to open his mouth to tell me the story from what the cops told him all the way to the moment that I woke up (leaving out the parts where he confesses of course, ugh!). The last thing I remember before the “accident” is thinking about what the P.I. told me and how I needed to open the letter.
Zack's POV
It is so nice to see those beautiful blue eyes again. I was so worried about her. I hope that she didn’t hear me say any of my speech that would be really embarrassing.
“Zack, thanks for staying with me and don’t get mad at me for saying this but you look like shit,” Finlee croaked out.
This statement made me smile, that is the witty girl we have come to know the past few days.
“I could never leave you in this room alone. Charlotte and the guys went to your place to get cleaned up and to get coffee about an hour ago,’ I replied. “Do you remember anything?”
“I remember coming out of the P.I.’s office thinking about what he told me.”
“The P.I.’s office? Why were you at a P.I.?” I asked. After I asked this she looked mortified. Her face softened then and she spilled the beans about her life. It felt so nice for her to know that I knew about it too.
“You should read the letter then Finlee. Maybe it will help you get closure,” slipped out my mouth, “And I will be here for you if you find anything bad out. I need to text the guys the good news of you being awake now.” To: Jack
From: Zack
FINLEE IS AWAKE!!!!!!!! To: Zack
From: Jack
WE ARE ON OUR WAY!!!! And we will come bearing gifts.
Finlee's POV
Zack and I have been ‘discussing’ me reading the letter from my mom. I am about to declare defeat to him. He is just too cute when he is passionate about something and I know he is right deep down. The letter read: To: Finlee Rayne Zaitz
From: Your mother Annalese Zaitz
Hello Fin,
If you are reading this letter it means you have begun your search for me. You have a brother, Fisher, who is 13 months older than you so he was about 2 when I dropped you off at the police station. I was 18 when I had Fisher and 19 when I had you. I gave you up so that you would have a better life. I couldn’t give Fisher up though, I was more bonded with him than I was with you. I married your father James when I got pregnant with your brother. Your father and I have been friends for a very long time and we have found that drugs are far more important than having to take care of 2 children. Hopefully taking care of just one while feeling better will help us out a bit and we can let you grow up normal.
You are one beautiful girl Finlee and I know you will make it far in life. I would suggest when you find this letter that you do your best at not contacting us if it is possible. I told your father that you had died in your sleep so he wouldn’t beat me for giving you up so it would not turn out well for ME if you showed up suddenly. So if it is possible just contact your brother Fisher and tell him not to tell his dad. Thank you for your consideration.
~Mama As I read this letter I begin to break down. Zack is such a sweetheart about consoling me when this happens too. I am glad I have somebody here to help me after she basically told me to fuck off. This letter tells me exactly what I was afraid of which sucks.
“I am so sorry Finlee, I am here for you for whatever you want to do with this bump in the road.”
“Thanks Zack, it means a lot to me,” I replied with tears streaming down my face. As we are having a moment we hear a very loud Jack and Char running towards us.
“Oh my God Rayne you had us all so worried,” Char huffed as they walked in.
With that Jack said, “We all brought you your favorite flowers to help you feel better.”
“Thanks guys!”
Then Alex chimed in, “And to make sure either you or Charlotte get hurt we are forcefully going to suggest you guys come on tour with us when you get out of this hell hole.”
This made Char smile ear to ear which meant I couldn’t oppose the suggestion but I had to ask about my job anyway, “Your boss says you need to go have fun and relax and I got all of our homework for the rest of the semester so you better not say no!”
Well I guess that means I am going on a bus with my best friend and four stinky boys for a few months. This should make finding my family interesting.
October 19, 2011
Hey everyone,
Sorry for the lapse in updates. I see my roommate let y’ll know I had a little accident. I am beginning to get better.
I went to see the P.I. the other day. In fact I was on my way home from seeing him when the accident happened. From what I was told a semi jack-knifed and cause a multiple car fatal accident on the highway about 20 minutes from home.
Zack (yes the one from ATL [:) stayed at the hospital the whole time I was in a coma and told me what happened. I also slipped and told him why I was in Maryland. He convinced me to read that damn letter because the P.I. had told me I wouldn’t be able to find out much unless I read it. It said basically what I thought it would but you know what she can meet me and see what a beautiful success I have become.
The boys have become close to Char and I the last few days and are leaving for tour in no time. They said that they didn’t want either of us to get hurt while they are away so… WE ARE GOING ON TOUR WITH ALL TIME LOW!!! Once I get out of this damn hospital of course. Well I will continue to update y’ll. Have an awesome day subscribers :)
Thank you for your prayers,
Finlee
Ok. =) Can't wait.
1/11/13