The Lies That We've Told

So I'm told that Baltimore, Maryland is meant to be a place of great success. My cousin is from there and the world knows, he's successful. I was told that if I come here, people would be accepting, that I'd find what I want in my future and realize who I am.
The colleges all seemed very appealing. They all welcomed my application with open arms. Looking for adventure, was written on my personal statement. Looking for a fresh start, was written underneath. Then a load of rubbish information about what grades I had achieved in school, what I wanted to become after leaving the fucked up education system, and all the other stuff about how much of a good person I am.
But truth be told, I was lying. I'm not a good person. If I was, I wouldn't be in this mess. I wouldn't be stepping off of a plane into a state that I've only visited five times. I wouldn't be handing my life into the hands of my successful older cousin.

The stewardesses all gathered in a line in front of the first row. Their fake smiles gave me the shivers. I pulled my earphones out of my ears and listened to what they had to say.
"We'll be landing in Baltimore Maryland in half an hour. When we do, please be sure to gather your belongings and exit the plane in an orderly fashion."
I zoned out. I couldn't be bothered with this.
There was only one thing I was excited for and that was seeing my best friend for the first time in six months.

I rushed off of the plane like I had no tomorrow, with only my small carry-on bag in my hand. Retrieving my luggage was tedious but overall I felt a sudden rush of excitement. After planning my run away for six months, telling only my parents, my cousin, and my best friend, it had only just come into realization that I was finally free.
Free from the people who had made my life in Vancouver hell. Free from the bad record I had back there. Free from the disappointment of my parents. I was free.
Outside the air brushed against my pale and exposed skin. I hadn't expected it to be cold like this, but then I had to adjust to the new temperatures of Baltimore.
A black car pulled up and out of it jumped an elderly couple. A suitcase was in the man's hand, and in the spare one he grabbed his wife's. I smiled, it was adorable and gave me some hope that I could find my someone here.


I glanced to the right of me, just in time to see two familiar characters walking inside the main entrance of Baltimore Washington International. I reached for my suitcases and raced after them.
"Hey!" I yelled, calling for their attention.
The security guide watching the entrance looked at me, but I shrugged him off.
"Are you looking for someone?" I called after the deaf guys again.
Then they turned around.

Their eyes locked on me and a grin stretched across their lips. They looked at each other and then held up a sign board that read my name. Joanna Mercury.
I laughed and ran towards the two guys.
"Hey." I smiled, embracing them both quickly.
"Hey girl." He said, wrapping his arms tightly around me once again.

Alex's hugs were like a comfortable pair of old slippers. You try to withdraw yourselves from them and move onto something new, something that doesn't fall off your feet, but you always end up back in those old pair. With me, I had tried to push my best friend away, I had attempted to replace him with someone closer to where I lived, where I could hug them everyday. But it never worked.
Here I was, wearing my comfortable pair of old slippers as they hugged me tightly and kissed the top of my head.
"I missed you." I mumbled.
"I miss you too, Joey." He replied, his voice soft and quiet but loud enough that I could hear him.


There was a cough from behind us, and when I turned around I saw my cousin. His short dark brown hair was brushed tidily, gelled up in certain places, and his eyes were glued on me.
"Is that all I get?" He pouted. "Whereas you and him basically have a reunited couple moment?"
I laughed and pulled away from Alex.
"Sorry, Ri." I apologized and lunged at my cousin.
He stumbled backwards and wrapped his arms tighter around me than Alex's were. I grinned into his chest and let out a laugh.
"Hey, baby cuz." He smirked, and ruffled my hair.
I looked up at him, he was taller than me, but not by much, and furrowed my eyebrows.
"Dick." I muttered.
"Bitch."
"I know." I stuck my tongue out.




After the emotional airport reunion, Rian and Alex lead me back to Alex's car and drove me to where I was now going to be living.
Rian gave me tips on all the best libraries in the downtown Baltimore area and also told me the best places to eat. Meanwhile, Alex told me all of the best places to get drunk, which was my kinda scene.
When we arrived at the university which I was now going to be studying at, Alex and Rian helped me carry my two suitcases into my dorm.

I couldn't deny that I was nervous. I was likely going to be the oldest in most of my classes and lectures. I was also very anxious about meeting my roommate. I'd heard so many stories about people who had bad experiences with their roommate, and it scared me.
I didn't want to be stuck with somebody who parties until late, and had boyfriends over all of the time once again. I actually wanted to make this year right, after being thrown out of university back home.


I knocked on the door that read my dorm number, and then entered. The place was bigger than I expected. A mini-fridge was in the corner with a microwave above it. A door was on either side of the room, which I guessed would be two closets. One for me and one for my roommate an a door leading into a private bathroom.
There were two single beds and posters pinned up around the room. Some of the posters were of popular Boy Bands while others were of bands like The Rolling Stones, David Bowie, Busted and Green Day.
Rian hummed behind me, and patted my shoulder.

"You should fit in, her music taste doesn't seem..." He paused. "That bad."
I laughed and let out a choking sound.
"She likes One Direction and, Oh god, she's going to hate my taste in music." I replied.
Alex was over by a stack of CDs, browsing through the artists.
"Hey, she likes All Time Low." He called out.
"Oh fuck," I responded. "You guys better go."


I knew that it was going to be difficult to keep my identity as Rian Dawson's cousin and Alex Gaskarth's best friend a secret, but I didn't want anything making it harder for me to study.
"Come for dinner at ours tonight?" Alex invited, "You can bring your roommate too if she's hot."
I looked at my watch and then back up at Rian and Alex. They were both smiling, hopeful that I'd accept the invitation.
"Will I finally get to meet Jack and Zack?" I asked, hoping they'd say I could.

I had known Alex for seven years after visiting Rian with my parents. We became close over our likeliness, he and I both enjoyed the same TV shows and had a mutual love for sports.
But despite knowing these two for such a long time, I had never met the remaining two members of their band. I had seen them live, but still didn't get to meet them.
"I guess so." Rian said.
Alex pouted and wiped a fake tear. "Ri, we have to surrender her innocence."
"She's best friends with you, there's nothing left."
I laughed at the discussion and shook my head.
"He's right."
I ran my hand through my long hair and twisted my fingers around one of the two dreads that I had.
"I'll come." I finally answered.




Alex and Rian left shortly afterwards, just in time for the door to swing open. A girl with blonde hair cautiously walked in, her eyes dancing around the room with anxiety.

"Hi," She greeted me.
"Hey!"
She shut the door behind her and walked further into the dorm room.
"Are you Joanna Mercury?" She asked, crossing her fingers noticeably.
"I am!" I replied, sounding overly cheerful. "You must be Alyssa Crosby?"
"Awesome! I am." She seemed much more at ease now. "Oh my god, you like The Beatles?"
I nodded slowly.
"They're alright."
"You and me are going to be best friends, I can tell."


I laughed and gestured towards the two beds. "
"Which one's yours?" I asked, hoping she'd say the one on the right.
She shrugged. "This is my first day here too."
I sat down on the left one and smiled at her.
"This okay?"
She nodded.
"So what classes are you doing?" She asked, reading over her timetable.
"English literature, music technology, and media. You?"
"English lit, psych, Biology, and chemistry."





Alyssa seemed pretty cool, we spent most of the time talking about our love for bands and complaining about how everywhere seemed obsessed with crabs.
But when Rian arrived to pick me up, I couldn't deny that I was excited and eager to leave. I quickly told Alyssa that I was going to my cousin's house for dinner and we agreed to continue getting to know each other after classes tomorrow.
When I jumped into Rian's car, I was surprised to find it less spacious than Alex's, but it was also nicer.

"How's your roommate?" Ri asked, struggling to find pieces of conversation.
I continued looking out of the window while trying to find my words.
"She's bubbly. But her music taste is pretty cool."
The rest of the journey was spent in silence but when we got to his and ALex's house, I felt a sudden rush of excitement. I was excited to meet the two guys they both spent 300 days out of the year with. I was excited to get to know my best friend's best friends. I was just excited to make new friends.
I ran inside, hoping to find them sitting there. But all I discovered was Alex sitting with his eyes shut and his hand down his jeans.
"They couldn't make it." Rian announced, walking in behind me.
My heart sank.
"Oh." Was the only sound that came out of my mouth. "Why?"
"Jack said you sound lame and Zack has some engagements that are more important."

I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes.
"Oh." I said, again.
Alex jolted upright and pulled his hand out from his jeans. I smiled at him and cringed as he sniffed it.
"Gross, Gaskarth."
"Hey, that's what kids in school used to call me." He pouted.
"But seriously, I'm joking." Rian suddenly said.
I looked up at him in confusion as he yelled "Ack's, come out here."


Two fully grown guys came out from the kitchen. One had short hair that was styled tidily, while the other had black and bleached hair. I smiled at both of them, suddenly feeling shy.
"Hi!" I greeted them, unsure if I should approach them and hug each of them.
"So you're Jo?" The one who I guessed was Jack asked.
I nodded. "You're Jack?"
"Actually, I'm Zack."
"Oops, I'm sorry. My mistake." I stuttered.

My cheeks were heating up incredibly badly. But I continued smiling anyway.
"I'm Jack." The skunk haired man held out his hand. "And you're hot."




As the night progressed, I began feeling like Zack's eyes were always on me. Like whenever I moved he noticed, or whenever I bit my lip from boredom or nerves, he noticed that too. But I knew that if I said anything, he'd only mention how I laughed at each of Jack's incredibly bad jokes, or that he'd point out that I watched him go wherever he went.
I couldn't deny the feelings I had noticed were there for Jack. He was the most good looking guy I had ever seen. I couldn't deny that he made me feel alive whenever he spoke, and I couldn't refrain myself from laughing at him when he did something stupid.
But in the back of my mind, I felt bad for feeling this way about a guy I had only just met. It felt wrong.




(A/N, So I'm releasing this chapter ahead of when I initially planned because I wanted you guys to see it. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think of it. I crave opinions from other people ;))

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