My Best Side Was Your Worst Invention

I took her virginity. The last good thing in the world the girl had to cling to, and I robbed it from her like the selfish human being I am. It didn't matter that she wanted it just as much as I did. Avory was just a complicated girl trying to fit in with the rest of the world. I wasn't sure which one of us was feeling more used: She or I.

Her face was as white as snow as she stared out the window. The clothes that she wore yesterday seemed just a tab bigger on her today and she hadn't even bothered to run a comb through her hair. It was beyond apparent that I had inflicted some sort of emotional damage on the girl. She may have been just as guilty as I was, but that didn't make me feel any less like shit.

"Ave," Flipping the blinker, I stared at the thin girl. The imagine of her nude body under my own wouldn't leave my mind. "Just talk to me. I don't want this to be awkward."

"You're dating that girl, aren't you?" Her voice was so soft I nearly had to stop the car just to pick up on what she said. "You know, the pretty one who smiles every time you speak."

"Lisa?" Oh shit. I'd forgotten about Lisa. "No, not really. We had a fling but nothing was ever made official."

Avory nodded, a small tear trickling down her cheek. I knew that she was thinking about everything she'd already been through in her life and she was probably beating herself up for sleeping with me when Lisa had been nothing but kind to her. I didn't belong to Lisa, though, and she didn't belong to me. We did as we pleased, we just usually did it.. Together, if that makes sense.

"I don't regret sleeping with you, Ave," I whispered, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel. "I know you probably pictured your first time being with someone you love, someone that you have a good relationship with.. But that doesn't make me feel bad about being the one to do it."

Her body was shaking from how quickly her tears were rolling now. It was all my fault. I should have never taken her under my wing. If I'd kept hating her the way I did before I met her, my life would still be normal and she wouldn't forever be attached to me.

"Ave, I'm sorry." This time, I did pull the car over. "We were both drunk and it was a stupid thing to do.. But it doesn't change how I feel about you or how much I care for you, do you understand that? I won't toss you aside and forget about you. You mean more to me than pretty much everyone and that sucks because I know you don't even like me."

"Of course I don't like you," Avory seemed to have to force herself to say this. With every word, two more tears slipped from her eyes. "I've only known you for a week and you've already ruined my life."

Harsh. Totally uncalled for. I may have ruined her dream of romance, but I had not single-handedly ruined her life. What we did last night required her body and soul just as much as it required mine. If anything, she ruined her own life, she just used me to reach that point. Needless to say, I was just as angry at the fragile girl as she was at me now. I've led girls on before. I'd broken hearts and I've wrecked reputations, I admit that, but this was nothing like any of those times. This was a mutual, drunken agreement, where neither of us really knew what the fuck we were getting into.

"Fuck you, Avory," I spat, venom dripping from my mouth. "Just because you don't like what happened doesn't mean you can pin it on me. From what I remember, once it stopped hurting, you enjoyed it just as much as I did. What is it that you were saying? Oh, that's right. Alex, don't stop, it feels so good! So yeah. Fuck you."

She inhaled a sharp breath, tears flowing even heavier. I didn't like being mean to her, but someone had to inform this chick that she wasn't top dog here. Her story was a shitty one, I took pity on that, but I would not let her make me feel like shit just because that's how she feels. This was supposed to be her fresh start, not her chance to drag people down with her.

"You don't realize what you've done, do you?" Avory breathed, watching my fingers as I twisted the key to start the car again. We began to slowly roll- We'd be home in less than five minutes. "Everything I have worked for is gone now."

"What's that, Ave? To die lonely and scared?"

Avory shook her head, clenching her fists tightly together. I knew as soon as I stopped the car in the driveway she'd take off running in the house. This would leave me with loads of questions from my mother and probably a screaming fit to go with it. So, when I put the car in park, I jumped out of the door just as quickly as she did.

"Admit it, Avory, you're only pissed off because you realized you care for me last night, right?"

Her small framed stopped mid-run. It was almost like she was frozen in time. I would have thought she'd stopped breathing if it wasn't for the rapid rising and falling of her chest. Clearly, I was right. The events from last night left her confused because she developed feelings for me. My feet carried me right up to her face, after I killed the engine, and I gripped her by the shoulders.

"I'm not dating Lisa, Ave, I already told you that. If you let me in, maybe last night could be more than a fling. You're pissed at me because you think I used you. Well, I didn't. Talking you about everything.. It's just, you're such a cool chick when you loosen up. Let me in, Ave. Let me be the one you run to."

"Love doesn't exist," Avory pulled herself from my grasp and began walking towards the door. "But if it did, maybe I'd believe you."

I let out a soft growl, feeling my insides boil. Fuck, why did she have to get under my skin? When I knew she had enough time to lock herself in the bedroom my parents had given her, I slowly made my way inside. To my surprise, my mother didn't even notice we came in. Counting my blessings, I went up to my room and flopped down on my bed. How could Avory say that love doesn't exist? I swear, whatever happened last night felt real to me. Almost magical, if that were even possible.

I rolled over and sighed, only to have a stack of papers catch my attention. Gripping them in my finger tips, I noticed the yellow sticky note on top.

"Alex,
You may want to read up on this. We want to make sure Avory stays here as long as she can. Love you!-Mom."

Without even thinking, I let my eyes scan the first page. Pretty much, it was just a bunch of rules that everyone in the house had to follow to keep Avory safe and out of the system. But that's when I saw it, the one thing that made my stomach drop. A few simple words that made me understand what Avory had meant by saying I ruined her life.

Children are not allowed to be involved in romantic or physical relationships with any member of the household. This can cause serious problems for the child you are fostering. Should an event like this occur, Child Protective Services will come claim the child and they will be taken from your care.

Oh fuck.

Notes