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Mibba

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Please Take Me Home

I love you, so much.

I was fine the rest of the week, but the day before his anniversary, I drank all night. I didn't talk to anyone except Jack all day.

Now it was the day of his anniversary and I was miserable as hell. All the guys were worried about me when the show ended and we went to a bar. It was their fault for bringing me with them.

Jack held my hand the whole time and when I started going to the bar, he tugged me back.

"Jack, seriously? I'm just going to the bathroom."

He gave me a look but kissed my forehead before I got up. I looked back before going toward the bar.

"Can I buy you a drink?" I turned toward the guy next to me and he was surprisingly cute. But I wasn't going to cheat on Jack. I nodded and asked for some shots. They were the quickest way to get me out of reality.

I downed two shots immediately and wobbled towards the bathroom.

Once I was in and locked the door, my head filled with Tom.

I could've done something. I could've stopped him from leaving. I could've stopped him from drinking that night and I could've took his keys from him. He could still be here if I helped him. It was my fault that he was gone. Alex was trying to stop him too that night. He knew that Tom had a problem with drinking but he didn't expect it to go that far. Alex just went upstairs when Tom talked to him. I was crying so much that I couldn't feel my face. I still remember his words fresh in my head.

"Don't forget me Layla. Be safe okay? Alex will take care of you. I love you, so much." He just hugged me and left. He left without an explanation. He left without anything.

I became mad and angry at myself for letting him do that to himself and for him leaving. It was all my fault and it always would be.

I turned to the mirror and stared at my reflection. The only thing I saw was the reason why her oldest brother died.

I lifted my hand up and punched the mirror as hard as I could. It shattered and the pieces fell into the sink. I looked down at my hand that was already bleeding and breathed out.

There was pounding on the door and I walked over with my still bleeding hand and unlocked it. I opened it slightly to see Jack.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"Why was the door locked?"

"I don't know."

He pushed the door open and looked over at the mirror, seeing the shattered pieces in the sink.

When he looked down at my bleeding hand, his eyes went wide. I swallowed and looked down at my feet.

I saw him grab my hand, "Why did you do this?"

"Oh, I don't know? Maybe because my brother died today, five years ago?"

Jack took my other hand and led me out of the bathroom, through the sweaty people dancing and towards the bus.

Once we got in, he made me sit on the couch in the front room. I waited until he came out of the bathroom with an ace bandage and a splint. He kneeled in front of me and I watched him clean my hand with a wet face towel and I couldn't help but notice how he was really careful not to hurt me. I watched his face as he wrapped my hand up, he was so concentrated. When he was done, he got up and put the towel back in the sink and washed it off. He sat down next to me when he finished and I looked down at my lap.

I could still taste the burning liquid on my tongue but it was fading away. I wanted more, I needed an escape.

"Why did you do that to yourself?" He spoke softly, like he didn't want to be heard because he was afraid I would yell at him.

"It's my fault that he's gone, Jack. I tried to stop him. I didn't know he would do that, I should've saw the signs." I felt a lump growing and I didn't want it to be there.

"What signs?" I saw him move his hand closer to me but he brought it back towards him.

"Tom. He just told me to be careful and that Alex would take care of me and that he loved me so much and then he just left." I let out a sob on the last part and put my face into my hands, being careful with my bad one.

Jack moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around me.

"It's all my fault." I cried. I just sat there with Jacks arms around me and my head in my hands.

"It's not your fault. You couldn't have known he would do that."

I cried even harder. "I just let him leave. I just let him drink and leave when I could've s-stopped h-him." I hated when I stuttered while I cried. It was the most annoying thing, I sounded so ridiculous.

He grabbed my face softly and lifted it up, looking into my eyes. I bit my quivering lip hard. "Baby, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't because of you. He's in a better place now. Stop thinking that it was your fault because it wasn't. He loves you and he doesn't want to see you like this and I don't either. I don't want you to hurt yourself by thinking that it was your fault or by hurting yourself physically. I get that you're hurting badly by this but it kills me to see you so broken," he whispered. I closed my eyes and let more tears fall out. I didn't let out anymore sobs, I just laid my head in my hands and let him rub my back.

"It's not your fault." I felt him kiss my temple and I relaxed a little. "I love you."

I heard the door open and the guys' voices filled the bus.

"What the fuck happened?" I heard Alexs voice first. He kneeled down in front of me and I looked at him through watery eyes.

"What happened?" He looked down at my hand and back up at Jack. "This isn't..because of what I think it is, right?" Jack was still rubbing my back and I saw him nod.

Alex looked at me with sad eyes and sighed. "Can I talk to you alone?" I nodded and followed behind him to the back lounge. I saw Rian and Zack sitting on the couch across from Jack and Matt and Danny standing by the kitchen. I swallowed and sat down when I got into the back room. Alex sat down next to me and looked over at me. I stared down at my feet.

"How did you do that?" He spoke softly.

"Punched the mirror in the girls bathroom," I croaked out, my voice hoarse.

"Did you drink?"

"Two shots."

He sighed. "Why?"

"I think that's obvious Lex." I looked up at him.

"Why though?"

"Because it's my fault. He told me that you'd take care of me and that he loved me so much and then I just let him leave. I let him walk out that door and go." I felt a lump in my throat but I refused to let it through.

He placed a hand below my right hand, careful not to hurt it. "It's not your fault. It's no ones fault. I blamed myself for a while after he left but I grew to realize that it was no ones fault. He was suffering silently and he didn't want to talk to anyone. I wish that I could go back and change it but I can't. And neither can you. As much as you want to, you can't. It was never your fault Lay."

I laid my head on his chest and let a tear fall out. "Things will get better, it just takes time. And I promised him and myself that I would take care of you and that's what I'm gonna do."

I pulled away from him and gave him a small smile. "Thanks Lex. You make everything better and I'm glad you're my brother."

He nodded and kissed my forehead. We both got up and walked out into the front room. The guys gave me sympathetic smiles while I passed them and sat down next to Jack. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I laid my head on his shoulder and he laid his on mine.

"I love you too," I whispered.

Comments

Great way to start the story off. The descriptions are great and wondering what's going to happen in the next chapter.
omg i love it. and I abosolutely adore all time low sibling stories! Also, I think her and jack's relationship is adorable!
barakactus barakactus
11/1/12