ALEX'S POV

I was shocked when I got a phone call from Martin. I'd answered my phone at work, risking my job for the phone call. I'm glad I answered though. He told me that Jack was in hospital and tried to kill himself.

I don't see why Jack tried to commit suicide. He's never done it before and as far as I'm concerned he has no reason. He's the one that declared he doesn't care about me at all.

Either way I climbed in a taxi the minute I'd phoned Lisa and asked her to cover for me for an hour or two. I'm glad she gets it. She was at work in instants and asked me what's wrong. I told her where Jack was and she shooed me away.

I got in a taxi, directed the driver, paid the fare, and ran inside. I went to the desk and asked for Jack Barakat. The woman behind checked and told me where to go. I made my way to the intensive car unit and bit my lip nervously. I pressed the buzzer and was taken inside.

A male nurse was with me and explaining things to me as I walked. "Well, Jack's just woken up and he's confused and very tired. You won't be able to stay for too long, we want him to rest up so we can get him out of here as soon as possible." I nodded and followed him to the bed. "Jack, you have another visitor."

Zack and Martin were sitting leaning against each other. Zack was shooting me warning glares and Jack was lying looking weak. He was attached to a few machines. I walked closer to him and waved.
"Uh... Hey Jack..." I looked down and saw cuts littering his wrists. I wanted to cry but I couldn't, He doesn't need that.
"Hey," He whispered. Zack looked at him and sighed.
"We'll leave you two alone. Call for Caleb if you want him out Jay." Zack and Martin left the room and I pulled over a chair.

Jack was examining me as I sat with him in an awkward silence. I played with my finger nails nervously.
"I did try to... Call..." I gulped. "I was wondering why you never answered." Jack shuffled around in his bed.
"I-I was bad Alex... So bad... I've never felt this way... Not since last time you left..." Jack's bottom lip was quivering.
"But I never left you, Jack." I held his hand. "If I left I wouldn't be here today. And if I left, then I never would have tried to call you." Jack had tears in his eyes as I spoke.

I brushed Jack's hair out of his face he blinked up at me. "Why do you hurt yourself over me? You know I'd never want you to." I whispered with tears now flowing freely down my face.
"You don't care about me... No one does!" Jack cried.
"Of course I care about you." I squeezed his hand tightly. "And so do Zack and Martin."
"No. Zack does, but Martin cares about him not me. I don't care anyway." I shook my head.
"Promise me now, promise me, you won't do it again," I held his cheek in one hand whilst still tightly gripping his hand in the other.
"I promise... Don't leave me though... Please, Alex, I need you," He whimpered. I smiled reassuringly at him.
"I promise I'll never leave you again, Jack." I leant down and pressed my lips against his. To my surprise he kissed back and reached up to hold my head in place.

I pulled away before he could deepen the kiss. He pouted and I smiled shaking my head. "Not until you're better, Jack. You mean the world to me." I hugged him before sitting down and striking up a normal conversation.

I've missed this. I've missed him.

RIAN'S POV

I was moved off the High dependency unit the day after I'd woke up. They managed to get me off oxygen quicker then normal. My mother made a joke about me always being impatient.

I lay unattached to any machines. I was on antibiotics and had anti inflammatory creams applied three times daily.
"I saw Zack today." My mother smiled as she sat next to me. "Jack's in intensive care."
"What!? How!? What's happened!?" I sat up quickly hurting my bruised stomach.
"I don't know. He was in a rush, he's never been much of a talker though." I nodded and spent the majority of the day hoping Jack was all right. "If you're so worried you could go see him. You're being released in a few days." I nodded glumly. A few more days of being restricted.

I lay back wondering what could have happened. Instantly my mind jumped to one thing, Alex. If he's done this then... then... Well there's nothing really that I can do.

But I can't stop myself from worrying about Jack.

He used to call me his Momma Ri but I've been a pretty shit mother. A mother should be there for you no matter what and I've just abandoned my baby! I ABANDONED MY CHILD! WHAT KIND OF PERSON AM I!?

The next morning one of the nurses offered to walk me down to visit Jack. I thanked her and followed her through the hallways to the ICU. They let me in and I made a bee line straight to Jack.
"Thank fuck! You're alright! I'm so so so sorry Jack. I never should have left you and Zack alone!" I scooped him up into a gentle bear hug. "Why Jack? Why did you do it!?" He shrugged and looked over at Zack who was sitting next to none other then Alex. I nodded my head at them. I can see I've got some explaining to do...

"I didn't want to be alone anymore Rian... I missed myself... I missed the dick Jokes, I missed you, I missed Lex, most of all I missed my skunk hair and Baz!" I laughed and so did Alex.
"Baz is good, Jack, I promise you can see him when you get out of here." Jack grinned at Alex.
"Jack... You've got us back okay. Don't do it again. Please. I feel like a bad mommy." Jack reached up and made grabby hands at me. I leant down and hugged him.
"You've been a good mommy Ri Ri. But I missed my Momma Ri."
"I missed you too." I pecked his forehead before I was shooed out by one of Jack's nurses and escorted back to my room.

I was given some news.

My attackers had been caught and arrested. It was nobody that I knew. Just some random person who has nothing better to do then prey on the innocent.

JACK'S POV

When Alex kissed me all of my old memories came back. I'm so happy to be with him again... Not in that way but I think I can finally recover. As long as Alex is with me then there should be no question about it.
"Ah-Alex."
"Stop trying to do a British accent. You suck at it," Alex laughed.
"It's not the only thing I suck," I winked in reply.
"JACK'S BACK!" Zack and Martin cheered. Alex looked at me and burst out laughing causing me to smile. I was too tired to laugh.

I yawned and Alex patted my hair down. "I'm going to go now Jacky, you're tired and I have something I need to do... I'll come see you tomorrow okay?" I weakly nodded holding my arms out for a hug. He came over and wrapped his arms around me. He pecked my lips blocking what we were doing from Martin and Zack.

I don't need another lecture from Zack. "Bye bye." I yawned again and felt my eyes fall shut.

I heard whispers as I started to blackout. I heard a soft tune in the background... It was the backing track to Home Alone.

I reach for the bottle and tip out the pills. I take the drink in my hands again. It's so familiar to me yet it feels so wrong. I want to stop myself but I can't. I've lost all means of self control. I can't keep my hands away from it. I feel like it's my duty. But it's not.

I do it. I take the pills and drink my poison once again. Down in one. I hear a scream and an urgent voice. I see Alex in front of me, he's crying and putting together the pieces.
"JACK! NO! YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN'T DO IT AGAIN!"I hear his voice it's cracking. He sounds desperate. He wants me to be okay. I believe it this time. He wants the best for me.

But it's too late. I'm gone.

I woke up screaming and in an instant a nurse was at my side. She checked over everything and noticed my sped up heart rate.
"Nightmare?" I nodded. "Want to talk about it?" I gulped and nodded again.
"I-I did it again... B-but Alex told me he wants me... He made me p-promise not to do it... I broke a p-promise. B-but I love h-him." The nurse was rubbing my back and soothing me as I told her.
"Alex is one of the ones that was here before? The one with floppy light hair?" I nodded. She continued to soothe me. "He seems nice. I'm sure he meant the best. You shouldn't tell him about this, he might blame himself." I nodded again. "You need to see some sort of therapist Jack, this is important. I'll see what I can do for you hun." I was shaking but I agreed. She knew what was best for me, but so do I.

I went back to sleep and slept through the rest of the night with no trouble at all.

ZACK'S POV

I wanted to stay the night with Jack at the hospital, like I have every day since he's been in here, but Martin forced me to go home and get some sleep. He's even offered to stay with me tonight.

In the car on the way home my eyes were drooping. I haven't slept at my own house in a while. I was always on suicide watch, evidently I did a bad job. At least Alex is back now. I just hope he doesn't mess with Jack's mind. I don't think that he can take it anymore.

His escape has always been his music, just like me, Alex and Martin. We're all alike. Music is everything to us all. The nurses told me I can take in an acoustic guitar for Jack. They'e moving him into a private room now anyway so he can play whenever he feels like it.

Now that I think of it... He didn't play a single note on his guitars since Alex disappeared. I miss it. He would suddenly pick up his guitar and start playing a Blink song. I'd often sing the lyrics as he played the beat, especially if it was family reunion or mothers day.

"Zack?" Martin shook my arm and I woke with a start. I didn't even realised I'd drifted off. "We're here." I took off my seat belt and stumbled out of the car. Martin came and helped me into the house.
"Thanks."
"Any time." He smiled at me and I knew he meant it. He's always been here for me. Ever since I met him.

But I'm scared. If I fall for him... What if we end up like Jack and Alex? I do't want that sort of relationship with Martin. I really like him...

Plus Martin is the biggest whore around. He sleeps around with guys and girls all the time. He's cheated on so many of his exes. I don't want to become another one of his toys. They change every week and Martin is someone I can never replace.

"Want some food?" I nodded in response and led the way into the kitchen. I grabbed the phone and dialled the pizza company.
"Two large pepperoni pizzas please." Martin was leant on the door frame with his eyes closed. I hung up the phone giving them my name and address. "I'm so tired." I sighed and walked over to Martin. He hugged me and I rested my head on his neck. He kissed the top of my head before releasing me.
"Every thing is going to be fine." I nodded as the doorbell rang. I went to answer it and paid for the pizza.
"FOOD!" Martin ran in and looped his arms around my waist from behind. "Feed me." He opened his mouth and I took out a slice of pizza shoving it in.
"H-HOT!" He spat it into his hand and I laughed.

I finally feel at ease again.