savannah colt was lightning-- she vanished all too fast and destroyed the things she left behind in a sudden streak of golden light.
savannah colt broke my heart.
savannah colt is the reason i have an arrest record, and the reason i don’t believe in blind spots.
which is funny, because she was a blind spot for me.
i never knew her.
i didn’t know her favorite color, her life at home, i didn’t know her little sister’s name or how she took her coffee.
maybe i did.
maybe she told me these things, maybe she left trivial parts of herself in my hands and my sweatshirt pockets as if to let me know that she would never leave me, to reassure me in the most demonic way that she would never truly leave, that i would never truly be rid of her fingernails on my back or her lips on my neck and her breathy whisper in my ear.
savannah colt is a ghost, a thief, a mistake, a song title, lightning, chardonnay, every blonde hair i have seen since, and the perfume and cigarettes i still imagine lingers on my leather jacket.
savannah colt, above all else, is a liar.
and such i've become.

Notes