Speak Now

I am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion. But he's making the biggest mistake of his life by going through with this wedding. Lisa Ruocco is a thousand and half types of completely wrong for Alex and everyone in that chapel knows it. So here I am, 8am on a Sunday morning on my hands and knees, trying to sneak into the church to undo this mess that I somehow managed to create a year ago. I just hope I'm not too late…
I watch anxiously as the last of the lingering crowd standing in front of the church is ushered through the doors and take that as my cue to move, quietly blending myself in with the crowd. I take a quick scan of the scene laid out before me - the flowers, the ribbons, the crystal, Jack, Rian, and Zack all huddled around in a circle at the front of the alter. A pang of hurt bounces off my chest at the sight of my three best friends dressed up in suits for the wrong reason. I shuffle my way around the mass of bodies I'm currently tangled in, in hopes of getting a chance to scope out the whole church for some sign that I'm making a colossal mistake. Soon enough, I find myself in a deserted hallway that smelled of musty bible paper and Aussie hairspray, giving away that I was very close to the bride’s holding room.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY’RE GOING TO BE LATE?” Her voice pierces my eardrums and I shrink back at the sudden outburst. “Oh my, God. This day is a fucking disaster. The roses are the wrong color, the China is the wrong pattern, my ice sculpture makes me look like a fucking whale, the caterers are going to be late, and my husband is a total moron. Oh, did I mention that my bridesmaids are complete shit, too!?” A mumbled series of awkward apologies follow Lisa’s outburst, and I roll my eyes.
If Alex was such a moron, why say yes, you dumb bitch?
“Jordan?”
I freeze in my hiding spot next to a massive vase by the Witch’s room and pretend that I didn't hear Jack call my name.
“Jordan, what the hell are you doing here?” Jack whispers at me, appearing at my side. I finally look at him, meeting his soft, saddened gaze.
“He's making a massive mistake, Jack.” I lower my gaze to the floor and avoid eye contact with the best man and my life-long best friend. “He can't marry her…”
Jack lets out a sigh, blowing his bangs out of face. “It's a little too late for that, Jor…”
“I was so stupid,” I verbally kick myself for the first time since the incident. “This should be my day, my wedding, my Alex…”
“I know, Jordan. We all know.” Jack gives me a gentle pat on the shoulder and kisses my cheek before disappearing to go find the glorious groom.
I watch as Jack walks away and then poke my head around the corner to peek into Lisa’s room once he's out of sight. The room looks like a natural disaster of the worst kind hit and I can't help but giggle at the sight of Lisa totally losing her shit over the most minuscule of things, bouncing around in the most hideous dress I have ever seen. I thought it was impossible to find an ugly wedding dress, but Lisa Ruocco always had a knack for proving me wrong. I roll my eyes at the She-Devil and make my way back to the chapel to take my seat in the very back, hopefully far enough so that Alex or Lisa won't notice me until I wish to make myself known.
Moments later, the loud chatter filling the spaces of the room dim down to hushed whispers as the the first note sings from the organ. My breath hitches in my throat as my (former) best friend, Alex Gaskarth, takes his place at the front of the altar with a grin on his face the size of the Wall of fucking China. The feeling of intense nausea fills my gut and tears threaten to break through the brim of my eyes. The organist begins playing a dreadful rendition of Here Comes the Bride that sounds very much like a terrible death march and the troll itself enters through the double doors and begins floating down the aisle attached to her daddy’s arm. All eyes are on Lisa, but my own are glued to Alex’s handsome face. And in that moment, that single moment when he was supposed to be admiring the gorgeous piece of plastic that he was to call his wife, he looks at me and my face falls. He gives me a sad, pathetic smile and it’s all I needed to know that he wished it was me walking down that aisle and not her. Alex still loves me.
Lisa ends her march and her father hands her over to Alex, who gladly accepts the woman with a clearly forced smile and kisses his soon-to-be wife’s hand. The preacher greets the couple with a warm, accepting smile and goes into this whole snooze fest of true love and all that bullshit. But I wasn’t paying attention. The only thing I could focus on was the fact that Alex knew I was here, in the church, watching the happiest moment of his life. And if he knew I was here, then he probably had a solid idea of what was coming up next…
I hear the preacher finally say, “Speak now or forever hold your peace,” and the room is dead silent, presenting me with my last chance to attempt to mend my relationship with the love of my life. I slowly stand to my feet, my heart racing and my hands shaking violently as every single head in the room snaps to stare at the girl who dared to utter a single syllable that could royally fuck up Lisa’s big day. But let me just tell you how many fucks I could possibly give about Lisa Noel Ruocco… None. The answer to that is none. The only person that mattered in this moment was Alex. And in that moment, I knew that even if this didn’t make Alex realize his love for me, that I was at least doing something to help him realize that this was the biggest mistake of his life and that he has absolutely no business marrying the monster that stood before him; the monster who was giving me the dirtiest looks from Hell, probably damning me to the coldest, most isolated layer of Hell that the Devil himself never visited because it was horrendous.
“What the hell is she doing here?!” Lisa screeches to Alex, her eyes never leaving mine. “This is my fucking wedding day, dammit! I want her out!”
“Alex,” I finally say. “Don’t.” The crowd gasps as the words part from my lips and Lisa’s face turns purple in outrage. Her expression, oddly enough, gives me the courage I need to continue. “Do not say ‘yes.’ You need to run. Get out. Don’t wait or say a single damned vow. You need to hear me out, Alex… So much happened and I made a mistake. You may love Lisa, but you and I both know that it’s me that needs to be standing next to you at that altar all dressed up in a wedding gown…” Alex’s face contorts with pure confusion and Lisa screams at him about how ridiculous I was being and telling him that there was no way that he believed a single word that I was saying. She goes on and on about how the two of them are going to go on together and grow old and happy and that everyone wants them to be together forever. “I mean, the preacher did say, ‘speak now.’” By now, a smirk has replaced my nervous frown and I was filled with confidence by Alex’s lack of words.
“Jor,” Alex finally says. Everyone stares at him in anticipation. “You need to leave.”
My heart shatters into a million pieces as he stares intensely at me, his index finger leading my gaze to the double doors Lisa had floated through only moments before. I gape at him, my mouth opening and closing like a guppie. I find myself at a total loss for words and finally accept my defeat, excusing myself from my seat and quickly shuffling out of the church. Once I made my exit, I sit down on the steps outside the church and place my head between my knees and allow myself to break down and finally cry.
That was the most humiliating thing I have ever done in my life and he just stood there and ignored everything I had to say… What was I supposed to do now? I lost. I haven’t gone over my losing plan, I was that sure that I was going to make him see that this wasn’t the future he wanted for himself. How could I have been so fucking stupid?
“Idiot, idiot, idiot!” I yell at myself, tangling my fingers through my hair and pulling as hard as I possibly could.
“Yeah, that’s one out of many names I could come up with off the top of my head.” I audibly gasp and whip my head around, only to be graced with the site of Alex Gaskarth himself standing behind me.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I breathe out, stumbling to my feet.
“I was actually about to ask you the exact same thing, Jordan Kingsley.” The smirk on Alex’s face makes my heart melt and I feel myself falling in love with him all over again. “It’s not everyday someone barges in on my wedding and tells me that they love me.”
“I did not say that I love you!” I shout at him playfully. He steps closer to me, taking my hands in his own calloused hands.
“You didn’t have to,” he says softly. “No one would interrupt a wedding out of sheer boredom, Jor. But if I’m gonna start being completely honest, then I should probably start off by saying that I love you, too, Jordan Ann Kingsley. I love you so much. I never stopped loving you. The day you walked out of my life was the day Alex Gaskarth died and I’ve gotta say,” he inhales deeply. “It feels goddamn to be back.”
“I love you so incredibly much, Alex,” I cry out, collapsing into his arms. “I fucking miss you.”
Alex places a soft kiss on the crown of my head and lifts my face to meet my gaze. “I’m right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere ever again. I’m right here.”

Notes