Terrible Things
11 - If I Just Lay Here, Would You Just Lie With Me And Forget The World?
Jack’s POV
“Hey, you’ve reached the voicemail of Leah Barakat. I can’t get to the phone right now, but leave your name and number, and I’ll call you right back. Thanks and have a nice day!” came her cheerful British accent down the phone.
I let out a long sigh before speaking into the phone.
“Hey baby, I know you’re probably thinking: why the fuck are you calling me? Coz I guess you’re never gonna pick this up. I guess I don’t really have an answer for you; maybe I’m going crazy and actually thought you would pick it up, or maybe I just needed to hear your voice again, even it is just a recorded message on your voicemail. I guess...” I sighed again,
“I guess I just miss you so fucking much, and maybe a little part of me thought this was all just a bad dream that I can’t wake up from, that I can’t get out of. But I guess usually after the bad stuff happens you wake up in a bad dream. And of course this isn’t just a bad dream; I’m living a nightmare without you. You really are gone aren’t you? I love you Leah, please don’t forget that up there in heaven. Even if you meet a really handsome angel: someone who deserves someone as amazing as you.” I held in a choked sob before continuing.
“The thing is I’m weak Leah. I should’ve been able to see you buried, I should’ve been there when my children burst into tears. But I couldn’t do it. Even Isla was strong enough to see it through. But not me, I’m just a coward. Just please don’t hate me. I love you my beautiful angel.” I sighed and hung up, maybe she’d call back.
Who the fuck was I kidding? She’d dead Barakat. She’s never coming back.
I threw my phone to the side of me as I lay on my back on the couch. I was going mad.
My phone started ringing again, and my heart stupidly leapt.
“Get a grip Barakat,” I muttered myself, before checking the caller ID.
Alex.
I threw my phone against the wall, consequently smashing it. I didn’t want to speak to his sorry ass.
To say I was angry with him was an understatement. I was murderously furious at him.
He’d just suggested, on the day of my wife’s funeral, that I just move on. That I just get over her. I couldn’t do that, and he was an insensitive asshole for even insinuating it.
I sat there in the dark for about 20 more minutes, before making a quick decision and walking into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of Jack. I then hurried towards the door, grabbing my keys and my jacket.
Guess what? I was running. Again.
I jumped in my car, starting the engine and speeding off.
I arrived at the beach, getting out of my car and walking towards a small cavern, beyond the rock face.
I sat down on the sand looking around at the familiar surroundings, whilst taking a swig of the Jack. I winced as the liquid ran down my throat, but I carried on drinking.
I stared out into the dark ocean, the waves lapping the sand.
I had no idea why I had decided to come out here, it only brought back memories of Leah.
I took another couple of swigs of Jack, my thoughts going free.
This had been our spot, where we came before we got married, before we had three children to keep an eye on 24/7. We still came here after Evie was born, but it wasn’t the same. We were older, we had more troubles, and we had time restraints. In some ways, I missed the old us. The ones who had nothing to worry about, just me and her against the world. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the life I had with my family, but when we came out here, I wasn’t Jack Barakat guitar player for All Time Low with thousands of teenage fan girls, I was just Jack, Leah’s crazy, nutcase of a boyfriend.
I took another swig of Jack, before placing the bottle down next to me.
I lay down on my back, just remembering everything about her. Hey eyes, her hair, her voice, her hands, her legs, her feet. Everything.
I started humming under my breath, I couldn’t work out what it was to start off with but then I got to the chorus and I just started singing.
“If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world.” I sang under my breath quietly. It was the song. Our first dance.
“Forget what we’re told, before we get too old. Show me a garden that’s bursting into life.”
Then I heard it, so quiet I couldn’t even be sure it had happened.
“Let’s waste time, chasing cars, around our heads.”
I felt myself begin to pass out, the alcohol taking its toll. The singing carried on as my eyes grew heavy, but I stayed awake long enough to hear:
“I don’t know where, confused about how as well. Just know that these things will never change for us at all. If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?”
The last thing I felt before I fell asleep was someone pushing my hair back from my forehead and kissing it.
“I love you, Jack.”
“Hey, you’ve reached the voicemail of Leah Barakat. I can’t get to the phone right now, but leave your name and number, and I’ll call you right back. Thanks and have a nice day!” came her cheerful British accent down the phone.
I let out a long sigh before speaking into the phone.
“Hey baby, I know you’re probably thinking: why the fuck are you calling me? Coz I guess you’re never gonna pick this up. I guess I don’t really have an answer for you; maybe I’m going crazy and actually thought you would pick it up, or maybe I just needed to hear your voice again, even it is just a recorded message on your voicemail. I guess...” I sighed again,
“I guess I just miss you so fucking much, and maybe a little part of me thought this was all just a bad dream that I can’t wake up from, that I can’t get out of. But I guess usually after the bad stuff happens you wake up in a bad dream. And of course this isn’t just a bad dream; I’m living a nightmare without you. You really are gone aren’t you? I love you Leah, please don’t forget that up there in heaven. Even if you meet a really handsome angel: someone who deserves someone as amazing as you.” I held in a choked sob before continuing.
“The thing is I’m weak Leah. I should’ve been able to see you buried, I should’ve been there when my children burst into tears. But I couldn’t do it. Even Isla was strong enough to see it through. But not me, I’m just a coward. Just please don’t hate me. I love you my beautiful angel.” I sighed and hung up, maybe she’d call back.
Who the fuck was I kidding? She’d dead Barakat. She’s never coming back.
I threw my phone to the side of me as I lay on my back on the couch. I was going mad.
My phone started ringing again, and my heart stupidly leapt.
“Get a grip Barakat,” I muttered myself, before checking the caller ID.
Alex.
I threw my phone against the wall, consequently smashing it. I didn’t want to speak to his sorry ass.
To say I was angry with him was an understatement. I was murderously furious at him.
He’d just suggested, on the day of my wife’s funeral, that I just move on. That I just get over her. I couldn’t do that, and he was an insensitive asshole for even insinuating it.
I sat there in the dark for about 20 more minutes, before making a quick decision and walking into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of Jack. I then hurried towards the door, grabbing my keys and my jacket.
Guess what? I was running. Again.
I jumped in my car, starting the engine and speeding off.
I arrived at the beach, getting out of my car and walking towards a small cavern, beyond the rock face.
I sat down on the sand looking around at the familiar surroundings, whilst taking a swig of the Jack. I winced as the liquid ran down my throat, but I carried on drinking.
I stared out into the dark ocean, the waves lapping the sand.
I had no idea why I had decided to come out here, it only brought back memories of Leah.
I took another couple of swigs of Jack, my thoughts going free.
This had been our spot, where we came before we got married, before we had three children to keep an eye on 24/7. We still came here after Evie was born, but it wasn’t the same. We were older, we had more troubles, and we had time restraints. In some ways, I missed the old us. The ones who had nothing to worry about, just me and her against the world. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the life I had with my family, but when we came out here, I wasn’t Jack Barakat guitar player for All Time Low with thousands of teenage fan girls, I was just Jack, Leah’s crazy, nutcase of a boyfriend.
I took another swig of Jack, before placing the bottle down next to me.
I lay down on my back, just remembering everything about her. Hey eyes, her hair, her voice, her hands, her legs, her feet. Everything.
I started humming under my breath, I couldn’t work out what it was to start off with but then I got to the chorus and I just started singing.
“If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world.” I sang under my breath quietly. It was the song. Our first dance.
“Forget what we’re told, before we get too old. Show me a garden that’s bursting into life.”
Then I heard it, so quiet I couldn’t even be sure it had happened.
“Let’s waste time, chasing cars, around our heads.”
I felt myself begin to pass out, the alcohol taking its toll. The singing carried on as my eyes grew heavy, but I stayed awake long enough to hear:
“I don’t know where, confused about how as well. Just know that these things will never change for us at all. If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?”
The last thing I felt before I fell asleep was someone pushing my hair back from my forehead and kissing it.
“I love you, Jack.”
Notes
I'm so so so sorry! I honestly thought I'd updated this, but of course stupid me only put it on Mibba...So here's like 4 chapters for you guys as an apology update :)
Comment, subscribe and recommend guys thanks :)
Title Credit - 'Chasing Cars' by Snow Patrol. I absolutely adore this song, and it's one of my all time favourites, so it seemed perfect! :)
So much love for the last chapter. So beautifully written
2/17/14