"So, you must be Alexander," Gerard Way, my therapist, spoke up, "Nurse Tay has told me a ton about you." I was sitting in a chair that was in the shape of a hand, my butt in its palm, and the room around me was a room that crept the fuck out of me. There was black splatter painting all over the walls, and on top of some of the paintings were his diplomas for Psychology, Human Resources, Philosophy, and even Art & Literature. How many fucking times did this dude go to college?

I was sitting tensely, shy to even speak up to the red-haired gentleman. He looked scary, like I would say something wrong, and he'd tear my head off with his bare teeth. I was playing with the red band that Jack and his friends -- The Red Band Society -- had given me. I was surprise I didn't tear it to shreds due to how hard I was playing with it. Mr. Way noticed my fidgeting, and he spoke up with, "Alexander?" I was startled out of my trance. I looked up shakily.

"H-Huh?" I croaked out. Mr. Way let out a chuckle, looking down at his paperwork. Was I playing a circus act or something -- what was so funny?

"Nurse Tay told me how shy you were, and I kinda didn't believe her. I'll have to give her an apology later, huh?" I looked down with a frown. "Nothing is wrong with being shy, Alexander. I was a shy boy myself, but I took public speaking in college which helped a lot." Is there anything this dude didn't take in college? "So, Alexander, why don't we start off this session easy. Tell me a little bit about yourself, and then, we will go from there." I groaned internally. I hated having to tell people about myself; whatever I would come up with would, no matter what, make me look like a cheap loser.

"Well, um, I am 18 years old. I don't go to school anymore, obviously, because I am here. I have a mom and dad, a cat named Pumpkin, and I like music." I stopped. What else was I supposed to say? He knew I was in here for not eating, so why bring it up again?

"Uh-huh, I see. You seem like a very interesting person, Alexander." Ah, there's something.

"O-One more thing," I hiccuped, "I liked to be called Alex, not Alexander." Mr. Way gave me a genuine smile.

"I was waiting for that, honestly. I will note that, so I can remember." Mr. Way took a pink post-it note and scribbled the name ALEX down with multiple lines under it. He proceeded to slap it on his computer screen. "Alex, when did you begin showing the signs of having an eating disorder?" he asked, adjusting himself in his leather desk chair. I kept my eye on one of the splatter paintings while jumbling up an answer.

"Um... I guess the end of Junior year?"

"What made you start to not eat?" I turned to him with squinted eyes.

"Why does that matter?" My attitude was cocky, and honestly, I didn't understand why I was using such a bitter attitude.

"It matters because I need to come to a conclusion to what your mind is thinking during this disorder." Mr. Way said, not phased by my rudeness. I snarled.

"It's none of your fucking business why I stopped eating, okay!? It's none of your fucking business, and I'm not telling you shit!" I shouted. Mr. Way just stared at me with a perked brow. He was acting like I wasn't giving him such attitude and profanity; I was so confused, but I wouldn't show it. "You don't need to know shit about me! I didn't even ask for therapy, and I sure as hell didn't ask to be here! This place is like a prison for people who are different that have parents who don't fucking want to help them!" I rose up from my chair, the chair falling to the ground with a loud bang. "I want this fucking session to be over! I don't want to be here, and top it off, I want to go home!" A tear dribbled down my cheek. My rampage was so uncalled for, and I sure as hell didn't plan on going off over a simple question as to why I stopped eating.

Mr. Way closed his notebook, looking up at me. He just stared with eyes that read he knew I was just acting like a whiny little baby. I looked behind me, picked up the chair, and sat back down on the chair's palm. I looked down at my hands which were shaking like leafs. I could feel Mr. Way's eyes piercing me, just waiting for me to answer him and his question. I let my tears fall from my eyes. "C-Can I leave, please? I don't want to talk about anything anymore." I begged. Mr. Way sighed.

"Yes, Alex. I'll call Nurse Tay down, and she ---"

"I can leave by myself. I don't need her." I stood up and held out my hand. "I'll see you next time, Mr. Way." Mr. Way took my hand, shook it, and allowed me to leave the room. I left the room in a hurry.

---

Instead of returning to my room, I went to balcony where Jack and his friends hung out. When I arrived to the balcony, no one was there. I was surprised; I would have expected at least Jack to be there since he seemed to say he was always up there. Then again, I took the alone time for granted. I sat down on a lawn chair and rested my head against the chair. I shut my eyes to take in a deep breath. When I was upset, I would sing. Singing was my only comfort, so I picked a song out of my mental playlist and began to sing it -- 21 Guns by Green Day.

Do you know what's worth fighting for
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weight out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky
You and I

"You're a really good singer." The voice scared the shit out me. I jumped, and the chair couldn't handle the power of my jump, for it tipped over with me in it. The back of the chair, along with my own back, hit the ground with a thud. I scrambled to stand up. My eyes were met with the brown eyes of Jack. I was breathing heavily from being startled, and my eyes were as big as the moon.

"J-Jack! You scared the hell out of me!" I shouted. Jack let out a chuckle.

"You're such a scaredy car, Alex. But, a very talented scaredy cat." Jack's words made my cheeks turn a bright red, and that shocked me. Why was I blushing over something like that? I picked up the chair and sat back down.

"I'm not that talented, Jack." I grumbled. Jack sat down in front of me with his legs crossed. He was looking at me with a frown and eyes flooded with worry and concern.

"You okay, buddy? You seem tense."

"I'm fine, Jack. I just... I had a rough time at therapy."

"What happened, Alex?" I looked at him with squinted eyes. Here we go again.

"Look, can you fucking stop getting in my damn business? God, you're just like him, dude! You're so fucking nosy!" I snapped. Jack was taken aback, and his eyes changed from concerned to hurt. Jack stood up and brushed himself off.

"See you later, Alex." Jack mumbled before walking off. He exited the balcony with a slam of the door. I sat back and let out a heavy sigh. Why the fuck was I PMSing so hard today? First, Mr. Way, and now, Jack. Neither of them deserved it; they were just worrying about me! I rested my head back against the chair, tears pouring from cheeks once more, and began to sing more of the song.

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

...

Notes

here's an update! alex is pretty moody, huh?

an update will be up soon for chapter seven :)

here's your 'new update jack barakat gif'!!!



xoxo krys