Baby, Season's Change but People Don't

“Look at the stars, look how they shine for you,” -- Jack had not known Alex his whole life, but sometimes he forgot that there was a life before the other boy. They grew up in the same orphanage, or at least Jack had been there forever, and then when he was eleven a young boy who was skinny everywhere and had the saddest eyes and the brightest smile came along; they were fated to share a room, and unbeknownst to them, a friendship. Jack had been grumpy at first, protesting that he didn’t want to share a room, he was eleven so that made sense, a grumpy and loud eleven year old that intimidated Alex greatly.

“Don’t touch my comics,” was the first thing that left the brunet’s mouth, his long eyelashes blinking furiously as he tried his very best to scare the other, his face scrunched up as if judging the elder, it was hilarious to look at to anyone else, but for Alex who was scared of anything he sat down on his bed and hugged his suitcase. Proud of the quiet submission, Jack sits on the bed and begins to read to himself, he doesn’t hear Alex move and this confuses him so he looks over to see the skinny boy still hiding behind his suitcase. “Hey I’m not gonna hurt you,” His eyebrows furrowed “My comics were all shipped from Japan, that’s all; I just don’t want people messing with them because they’re delicate, see?”

Alexis’ downy blonde hair peeks over his suitcase and it’s only then that the younger realises how small the other boy is. He looks like one of the younger kids, like Joey (Joey is his eight year old nemesis that keeps trying to touch his comics, and also the reason Jack demanded a lock on his door). As the elder finally rests his suitcase on the floor, eyeing Jack warily, he clears his throat and in a clear and obvious stutter he says “I-I won’t t-touch them,” He swallows and looks to the fingers on his lap that are winding around each other tightly, occasionally a knuckle cracked and they would both flinch. This was when Jack decided that something was wrong with Alex, something very wrong.
--
It’s about three months into knowing each other and the darker haired boy notices things about Alex, like how he refuses to shower with the other boys in the locker room, how he never changes in front of people. It’s strange because as an eleven year old he has no idea of humility, if they were all boys then it’s ok to see each other naked, he didn’t question it because he figures he’ll know when he’s older. One day he does walk in, however, and Alex is changing. They aren’t facing each other but Jack can see everything (except what is hidden by cotton blue boxers), and the sight makes him realise that there’s nothing wrong with Alex, but someone with something wrong had done something too him. His body was all bone, like a walking skeleton, bar the little bit of weight he had begun to put on during his stay here (He has noticed Alex doesn’t…can’t eat a lot, he often has to rush to the bathroom); his back was red raw and thin little lines ran up it, disappearing under his waistband and reappearing on the back of his thighs. Some of the marks look suspiciously like a belt buckle, he’s unsure he wants to know how that came about. There are scars, like healed burns on his arms and bruises on the back of his hips and shoulders. Jack knows he doesn’t want to see anymore and slips out the door, unnoticed.

Unsure what to do with this new information, he treads his way to Roger’s office (he runs the orphanage, and is a smiley old man with fair judgement that everyone likes a lot because of the sweets he hands out every time they do well), raises his small fist to the large door and waits to be told to enter. His big brown eyes are shining, and it’s only as he walks in and Roger says “What’s wrong?” He realises that he must’ve been crying. He isn’t sure why he is crying, he just knows that something very bad happened to Alex and he wants him to get better.

“What’s wrong with Alex?” He says, his voice is a little scratchy, his sits down on the chair opposite the desk, the adult size almost dwarfing him as he blinks and meets the kind eyes of the old man “Something hurt him, he has scratches and bruises everywhere,” His innocence makes the elderly man’s jaw clench, this boy has no idea of the cruelty of the outside world, has no idea of the pain that can be caused, he grew up here, sheltered from all that.

“Alex was hurt very badly by some very bad people,” He wants to put this in a way Jack could understand “You see Jack, you were brought to us because your mother passed away,” He knows this, he asked this three years ago and was, although upset, a little more cheerful with the thought his mother did not leave him on purpose, and was in Heaven (“With God,” he insisted, “Really happy,” now he isn’t so sure there is a God or a Heaven, but he hopes his mummy is happy). “Well Alex was brought here because his mummy and daddy didn’t want him,” Jack furrows his eyebrows, unsure why anyone wouldn’t want someone as shy and sweet as Alex.

“Well I want him,” Jack huffs. “I’m gonna show him that we want him. right Roger? so he doesn’t have to be sad anymore!” He shuffles off the chair with a wide smile on his face. “Let’s throw a party for him, with cake! I bet he likes cake,” The boy is almost bouncing as he races to the door, in his excitement, and Roger is unsure he can tell the boy no. “We won’t let him be sad anymore!”
--
The party did eventually happen, but it didn’t go as planned. They all had cakes and hats and “things that parties had,” The younger kids, from age 4 to 8, were sat at the lower end eagerly awaiting cake. The middle kids, age 8 to 13, were all waiting for Jack to come back with Alex. And the eldest kids, somewhere from 14 to 17 were all wondering why there was so much effort for one kid. They all came here with some sort of burden.

Jack did come back with Alex, their hands were joined and the elder looked confused and a little worried. When he came to halt in the massive room, he saw the table full of food and the kids all laughing and, rather confused he turns to Jack and goes “What’s all this for?” but the younger only grins and wraps his arms around Alex in the first hug that the blonde has ever received in his entire life. He tears up a little, and shakes, which Jack can feel.

“It’s for you, we did this for you, because your parents didn’t want you, but we want you, I want you, you’re my best friend,” And he grins wide and proud and Alex starts crying. The brunet is confused, and so is the other a little as to the tears, but a sobbed out ‘thank you’ comes from the shaking blonde mess as he wipes his eyes.

“This is t-the nicest th-thing anyone h-has ever done for me,”

It went better than planned.
--
When Alex hit twelve, Jack whined a lot, he also wanted to be twelve, so Alex told him he could be twelve today, but only for today with him. No one had the heart to tell him that that was not how age worked.
--
When Jack hit twelve, he reminded everyone that he was actually twelve, evidently proud of his achievement. Now that he was twelve, he could do everything he could already do last year, only better. Once Again he came to the realisation that that was not how age worked and sat rather disappointed under the large tree that he had been trying to climb for a good three years now. He still couldn’t get past the second branch, maybe next year.
--
Jack started noticing things as he came to the end of his twelfth year alive, one it was that Alex started to change in front of him (and the scars were becoming less prominent), he also no longer stuttered when talking to him, to some other people however he did and second of all it was that his body was different; or starting to become different. Alex was thirteen now, and they were around the same height, the elder had finally put on some proper weight and was slender (and curvy, like a girl a little bit). He had watched Alex getting changed once, and saw with curiosity that he had a thin trail of hair leading under his boxers. He absently says “Do you have hair down there,” He gestures to his boxers and Alex blushes and nods. They’re not entirely sure why they are not allowed to talk about those parts, or why they are even private. They haven’t asked about it. Jack is more worried about the fact he doesn’t have hair down there.
--
When Jack reaches thirteen, he is approached by an older boy, who hands him a box for his birthday, being told not to let Roger see them, and not to open it until he is in his room. The young boy scurries upstairs with Alex and sits on the bed with the box between them; slowly he lifts the red lid and peers inside. “They’re magazines,” he lifts one out “But…all these women are naked,” He furrows his eyebrows “Why did he give me these?” Alex squirms slightly as he looks at them, taking out another one as he slowly flicks through the pages. There’s a funny feeling low in his stomach that he really isn’t sure he likes, he throws the magazine back in the tub and goes to stand up, only to realises that there is something really rather wrong. Looking down at himself, he realises every movement seems to ache in the part that they really aren’t supposed to talk about. He looks at Jack, confused, it’s not happened to him. “These girls aren’t very pretty, their breasts are too big and why do they have a funny fold thing between their legs? That’s weird,” Jack throws the magazines back in the box and shoves them under the bed.

“Jack something weird's happening,” Alex looks very scared, his eyes are watering as he stares down at his lap. There’s a small bulge there “It hurts, I don’t like it,” He buries his red face in his hands, wanting everything to stop, including this burning sensation in the pit of his stomach. The younger, looks up at his friend and rests a comforting hand on his knee.

“Maybe you should…take it out or something? If the jeans are hurting then…that’s the solution right?” He runs to lock the door in case anyone else comes in, drawing the curtains closed. “See it’s just me here, and I’m not gonna laugh, I promise,” He holds out his pinky, Alex wraps his own around the other. Jack helps the other stand, as he winces every time. When Alex finally gets his boxers and jeans off, they come to the realisation that the private part is sort of…standing up. Curious, Jack pokes it and Alex slaps his hand. “Is that supposed to happen?”

“Stop staring,” Alex shoved him a little “I’m cold,” he mutters and sits down on the bed, waiting for ‘it’ to go down. “Do you think I’m supposed to do anything? Should I ask someone?”

Jack scrunched up his nose. “We’re not supposed to talk about those parts, the nurse lady said so when we were young, remember? Especially not to girls, she said, she said girls have different parts, I said I always knew girls were weird,” the elder lets out a small chuckle at this. Curiously, he pokes at it, realises it’s more sensitive then he remembers. He’s never really touched it before; it just seems like another body part to him, only good for weeing with. Alex wraps his hand around it, wondering if it’s sensitive everywhere, the moment his fingertips wrap against the underside he doubles over from the shock that runs up through him. Jack, alarmed darts up and sits next to him on the bed. “Are you ok?”

“It…it kinda feels good,” he whispers, confused. “How come it didn’t happen to you?” he asks quietly. “The girls looked weird,” Jack replied sheepishly, but the more he stared at Alex, he found he had a similar problem starting up. “Maybe a shower will help?” He asks absently “I’ll lock the shower door and you can have a shower, Roger will understand, he knows you don’t like showering with the other boys. Alex pulls on his boxers and jeans and they both head to the showers. Jack doesn’t mention the fact that his own “private parts” are half way between what Alex’s had been. It confuses him that he only felt like this when the elder had wrapped a hand around the part.
--
When Jack is fourteen, he finally retrieves the magazines from under the bed again, after a long conversation he finally plucked up the courage to talk to the older boy who had given them him about the affects the magazines had on his friend (and not on him). “It’s supposed to happen,” The 16 year old says with a smile “What you do is you put a hand around it…it’s a penis by the way, it’s what they’re called…and you move the hand, and the nice feeling will become more obvious until this stuff comes out, it’s a long story, it’ll make sense when you’re fifteen,” He gives the other a small bottle “Use this on your penis when you do it, it’ll stop a friction burn,” He knows about friction, he learnt about that last year, when he got a carpet burn on his arm, he couldn’t imagine having one on his penis, it’s sensitive. He doesn’t mention that he doesn’t like the girls in the magazines, it isn’t normal apparently.

He locks the door and explains all this to Alex, who lets out a quiet hum, studying the small bottle “Lubrication, isn’t that what they use on cars?” Jack shrugs and tugs off his pants (He has hair down there now, little chocolate curls). Alex does the same and looks down at the magazine, the girls boobs are rather nice, but the younger was right, they were a bit big, like massive eyes staring at you. Their bodies were all shiny, tan and looked rather dazzling in the lighting of the picture. As he flicks through them, he sees what appears to be a guy on top of the girl, with some curiosity he realises that the man’s privates…penis was inside the girls folds. He stares curiously, and realises his own has stirred, and it pressed against his stomach. Jack notices too, and is desperately trying to will the same reaction.

But Alex takes some of the “lubrication,” and curiously begins to go through the steps that the other had told him too. Jack realised as he watched Alex, that he was more beautiful than any of the girls in the magazine.
--
When Jack was fifteen he had the “Sex talk,” and by being in a class with two morons, he finally learnt that “Breasts,” were called “Boobs,” and a “Penis,” was called a “Cock,” in slang terms. He also realised he was more interested in the “Cock,” aspect than the “Vagina,” aspect (He didn’t care to learn the slang, it looked scary too him); he expressed as much to Alex, who blinked and went “Oh, so you’re gay?” He didn’t look perturbed by the news; in fact he simply kept eating his chocolate bar.

“Isn’t that a bad thing?”

“Only if you live in Texas,” They exchange a laugh and continue eating, with the younger having a soft feeling settling in his stomach, it felt a lot like calmness.
--
When they were sixteen, they realised they were told that was the legal age of consent for their state. It was strange because two years ago they didn’t know what a penis was, but both of them looked at each other and shrugged, not having any interest in the topic at all (They still “masturbate,” together, Alex seemed to know and didn’t care that Jack was using him to “Get off,” on, instead of the magazines, sometimes Alex would use Jack too).
---
When they were seventeen, they both invested in better alternatives than crappy magazines. They had a laptop between them, and there were much better sites to use. Yet still, Alex would watch the straight porn, and Jack would watch Alex.

A few months later, Jack openly came out as gay, and little to no one had any problem. Seeing the support, Alex came out as Bisexual, and everyone seemed to have something to say about it. Angered, Jack shouted at all the elder members of the orphanage, infuriated by the fact they felt they could diminish Alex for his sexuality.
--
When they were eighteen, and on their last year at the orphanage (They wanted to finish their education here before leaving), they had sex for the first time. Not with each other, but it was a chain reaction. Alex walked in on Jack with another guy, a worker in the orphanage, and wondered why he felt as though he wanted to be violently sick. The moans brought back the twist in his stomach that he had first felt four years ago, and the look on Jack’s face with his legs spread, so content without him, brought tears to his eyes.

Alex, maybe a little bitter, rather violently fucked a girl, another orphan who was also eighteen, just as Jack walked in. He didn’t care; he didn’t care about anything, except how he felt he had lost, how he felt he had let Jack leave and that it was all his fault. It was always his fault. The girl left once they were done, she made it clear it was a once time thing and Alex was ok with this. Jack was sat outside the door when he walked in, cheeks red and head down. He wants to say something, but the elder has already fallen asleep.
--
They have two months left in the orphanage and Jack is well aware that he might never see his best friend again, that is if he doesn’t act soon. They are both sat on the bed, there’s a tension thicker than a block of wood, before Jack turns to his friend and rather bluntly says “I love you,” It’s soft and weighs heavily on his tongue. It also isn’t what he plans to say, but he said it anyway. Alex looks up at him and swallows, before leaning his head on Jack’s shoulder. “I love you too,” He places a soft kiss to the other boy’s neck. “I love you too,” And then they kiss. It’s different, it’s not rough and it’s not slow and they wonder why they have never done this before, all that cliché nonsense that they only just realised. Their lips part on contact, their tongues brushing, the entire world is so far away, it’s just Alex and Jack and this really warm bed. They end up lying down at some point, they’re not shy about each other’s bodies (Almost all of Alex’s scars have faded, Jack still kisses them better), and they take this as a new beginning. An acknowledgement.

Notes

Also not proof read.