Skipping all my classes that day of the fight earned me a week's grounding. My parents were beyond pissed hearing what I did, and honestly, they didn't give two shits about my reasoning behind it either. All they cared about was the fact I was still jeopardizing my chances of getting into the college they wanted me to go to. The pregnancy wasn't enough to do that, huh? Anyway, grounding me wasn't the biggest threat in the world. I didn't have anyone to text because I was done talking to Jack for a while, and I had no where to go out to except my doctor's appointment. Being home bound/room bound wouldn't bother me a bit; I would actually enjoy it more than loathe it.

---

The week came and went, and it was soon Friday. My appointment was right after school, so mama picked me up instead of having me walk home. Jack was standing by the entrance of the school, which was where I exited, and he gave me such a puppy dog stare that I could mistaken him as an actual puppy. I ignored it and hopped right into mama's car.

As mama drove me to the appointment, she let out a sigh and spoke up, "Alex, we're sorry about everything." I had to admit: lately, I was slipping into an obvious depression. I was going through too much shit, and the baby and I weren't handling it well. I was getting sick more frequent, and my mood had been total crap. I knew mama and papa noticed because whenever they would talk to me, they would look at me with such sympathy. I shrugged my shoulders at her apology.

"I can't do anything about it, mama; that's how my stars are aligning. I get pregnant with a guy who leaves me for three months without a word, and when he comes back, he hits some guy that did something harmless. I think God is trying to tell me that I can't win and to stop trying to win."

"Alex, please, don't talk like that."

"It's true!" I raised my voice. "What have I gained from all of this, mama? Besides fucking weight, I haven't gained shit!"

"You gained a child out of this!"

"A child? I didn't gain a child. In fact, I am losing a child."

"You will get to see the baby whenever the adoptive parents say you can, Alex. Don't be like that."

"Yeah, well, 9 times out of 10, I won't get to see my baby until we bump into each other at some supermarket. And, then, our lives will turn into one of those movies where I go through his hell of an adventure to prove to her I am their dad."

"Alex --"

"Mom," I groaned, "please, stop trying to make feel better because nothing will. Alright?" I was being super snippy to her, and I knew she didn't deserve it. Mama just nodded and continued to drive me to the clinic.

We arrived to the clinic a few moments after our discussion. I got out of the car and waddled into the clinic. Immediately, I got stares from the other expecting women. I plopped down in a chair and picked up a magazine. Mama sat right beside me with a frown. I knew the stares were getting to her; she didn't like to be embarrassed. "I'm sorry," I whispered softly as I flipped through the ads. "for everything, mama." She looked at me perplexed.

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry for getting pregnant. I'm sorry for being gay. I'm sorry I messed up my life. I'm sorry I yelled at you in the car. I'm sorry." Mama looked at me with such hurt eyes that it pained me to look at them.

"Alex, you don't need to apologize for those things. You know that papa and I love you very much. And, we have grown to support everything you are doing and dealing with." What? No, she didn't just say that. I turned my head and looked at her with the biggest eyes the world had ever seen.

"Did I just hear you correctly?" I asked in total shock. "You... you support me?"

"Alex, as much as we hate the idea of both the things you're dealing with/you are, you are our only son, and we can't hate you for that. Nor, can we hold that against you and not support you. We're still on the fence about the gay thing, but about the baby, we support you about 98%." She ended her words with a short chuckle, and I couldn't help but chuckle with her.

"I don't care about that 2%. 98 is enough for me, mama." I leaned in and gave my mother a loving embrace. I whispered, "I love you so much, mama. I love you and papa both." Mama patted my back.

"We love you, too, Alex."

"Alexander Gaskarth?" a male's voice called out. I turned to see a nurse holding up a clipboard that, most likely, held all my information. I waved my hand to gesture to him I heard him.

"Do you want to go in, mama? You don't have to." I noted. She shook her head and stood up.

"Of course I want to come in," she said, "I would like to see my grand child for the first time." Smiling, I took hold of her hand and walked to the room where my ultra sound was being held. The male nurse instructed me to lay down on the padded bed and lift my shirt up to below my breasts, so that when the doctor came in, they could get right to it.

I laid on the bed for a few minutes before my doctor came in. "Hello, you two. I'm Dr. Williams, and I will be your doctor for the remainder of the pregnancy." she greeted cheerfully. I nodded and gave her a smile. She sat beside me, on a stool, and began to squeeze the cold gel on my stomach. I squirmed a little, but I got used to its freezing temperature. Mama was beside me, and she was holding onto my hand. My hand was trembling because of my wracking nerves. Dr. Williams took this hard wand and proceeded to press it in the center of the gel and move it around my belly. The minute she did, the screen showed a black and white, staticky picture of my baby.

The baby looked pretty big. I could see its head along with it's tiny little feet. I admired the scene in awe, and I could hear my mama sobbing beside me. She was a very emotional person, lemme tell you. When Dr. Williams got to my lower stomach, she pressed down a little on a certain spot, and when she did, a loud thumping noise echoed through the room. I pinched my brows, asking, "What's that?"

"That's the baby's heart beat. A very healthy heart beat, too." That's when I lost it. My baby's heart beat was healthy, so that meant that it was probably healthy over all. "Would you like to know the gender of the baby?" she asked. I looked over at mama.

"Should I find out?" I asked. Mama rubbed her fingers through my hair, saying,

"It's up to you, baby." I looked back at the doctor and gave a quick, excited nod. Dr. Williams examined the screen to determine the gender. Once she got an accurate reading, she revealed happily,

"Alexander, you're carrying a beautiful baby girl." I sobbed harder at the results. I was having a girl! I was hoping for a girl, to be honest, and my dreams came true. The doctor wiped off the gel from my stomach before allowing me to sit up. "I am going to send you some copies of the ultra sound pictures, and I will go fill out some paper work for you. I'll be right back." Without another word, Dr. Williams left the room. When I went to turn to mama to speak to her, my phone was being shoved towards me.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Tell Jack the baby's gender. I think he deserves to know." God, as much as I wanted to fight as to how he didn't deserve to know shit, I took the phone from her and opened his contact. Hesitating at first, I wrote the message and pressed the send button as hard I could, so there was no chance of turning back.

Me: It's a girl.

Notes

well, that was probably the moment you've all been waiting for!

:)

xoxo krys