Can't Help Who I Fall For

I knew as soon as I answered the phone that it wasn’t going to turn out well.

“Hello?” I answered, slightly upset that whatever it was that was about to happen with Alex had been interrupted. Especially considering that only one person in my phone had that ringtone. (It used to be two, but I’d changed Oli’s to stay away from me.)

“Hello, son,” my dad said. It sounded almost like he was surprised that I answered. If Alex wasn’t there then I most likely wouldn’t have. “I just wanted to call and say Merry Christmas… I—uh—I wasn’t sure if you’d gotten my text or not, and I really just wanted to talk to you… and ask you if you’d be interested in meeting up tomorrow. I have a lot I want to say to you. I want to apologize.”

Is he kidding? It’s been at least two weeks since the walk out, and he’s just now trying to apologize? What is he trying to pull?

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said, trying to keep the anger from my voice.

“Jay, please—”

“No,” I snapped, interrupting him. Something about hearing him say my nickname pissed me off even more. “You know what? You can’t just do everything that you did and then expect to come back and apologize to either of us like nothing happened. The real world doesn’t work like that. I guess you’re really not too familiar with how people react to things like that, huh? You think that you can just fucking run o—”

“Don’t you dare use that kind of language with me, boy. I’m still your father,” he snarled. The previous tones of regret and nervousness had completely left his voice.

“I’ll say fucking if I want to fucking say fucking! That’s not the fucking point!” I was really starting to get agitated at this point. How dare he pull the father card when he sure hadn’t been acting like one. “The point is that you ran off with some cheap fucking slut—”

“Don’t fucking call Marissa a slut!” dad hissed. “She has nothing to do with this. This is all on me.”

“She knew damn well that you were married! That makes her a slut! You’re both good-for-nothing, cheap, disgusting whores, and I don’t—”

“Stop right now,” he snapped. “You don’t get to say that about me! You don’t know the whole story, and you don’t know Marissa. Maybe if you’d actually spend some time with me you could meet her—”

“No!” I interrupted. “I don’t want to meet her. Who the hell do you think you are?”

“I’m your father, actually,” he growled. “And if I say that you’re going to do something, then Goddammit, you’re going to do it.”

Before I could muster up a response, a timid, “Angel,” from my boyfriend pulled me back into the real world. “Hey, maybe you should—”

I swear I didn’t mean to direct my anger at him, but I couldn’t stop myself from doing it. “Now’s not the time, Alex!”

I returned my attention to the phone, where my ‘father’ was still trying to say something. “I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you, and I don’t want to meet your whore mistress. I want you out of my life, and I want you out of mom’s life. If you have to, come get your shit, but you better bring divorce papers with you. I want a name-change, too. I don’t want to have anything to do with you.”

I ended the call before he had the chance to respond. I was so angry that I could feel myself trembling. I had the urge to hit something, preferably my father. I can’t believe that worthless son of a bitch had the nerve to call me, use up time I could’ve been spending making out with my boyfriend nonetheless, only to ask me to meet with him and his fucking mistress, who ruined our fucking family!

I looked to the side to see Alex still sitting on my bed and everything stopped. It was only then that I had realized that I had been pacing. I simply stared at him for a few seconds. I couldn’t read the look he was giving me, but something in my brain snapped and I was no longer in control of my actions.

I threw my phone in the general direction of the nightstand and pounced on Alex, roughly pushing my lips against his. He jumped back in surprise, but then kissed back just as enthusiastically. I pushed myself onto him so hard that we fell backwards onto the bed, where I rolled us over so that he was on top of me again.

I gripped at the bare skin of his sides before letting my fingers creep down into the back of his jeans once more. I licked at his bottom lip until he opened his mouth for me. He seemed a bit more hesitant than when we'd previously made out, which was weird. Just a few minutes ago he was all for it.

"Babe?" I sighed and pushed him up slightly. "Are you okay?"

"What?" he said, looking taken back. "Yeah… yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" I asked, somewhat annoyed that he was barely paying attention. "Talk to me."

"I don't know." He shrugged, rolling off of me and sitting up. "I guess I'm just distracted. I've never seen you so angry before..."

I sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," he responded. "Up to you."

"It's just," I started ranting, "he left without saying anything to me and I haven't heard from him in weeks. It's not fair that he thinks he has the right to call me and try to apologize."

“I know,” he agreed, putting his hand on my leg. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

That’s kind of when everything fell apart. I felt like I couldn’t hold anything in anymore. The last couple of months had just been so hard, and it was like, all of a sudden, everything that I’d been locking away came rushing out.

“You know what?” I said quietly. “I don’t think I am.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Alex asked, voice gentle.

“Everything this year’s been falling apart,” I mumbled. “My parents hate each other, I somehow got caught up in a weird, confusing love triangle with two of the most popular guys at school, and at first I thought I could deal with everything, but now I’m not so sure.”

With that, I pulled Alex down on top of me so that we were completely squished together, pressing my face into his shoulder and wrapping my arms around him. I honestly felt like I was about to cry. Alex wrapped his arm around me tightly as best he could and ran his fingers up and down my side.

“Not everything’s been bad, right?” he suggested. “I mean, it’s definitely been hard, but there has to have been something worthwhile.”

I sighed. “I’m happy when I’m with you,” I admit. “You know, ‘cause I love you and all, but sometimes it’s hard to focus on that when everything else is shitty.”

“You know I love you, too,” he responded, “but I don’t think that I’m the only good part of your life right now. You have your friends, you know. Rian and Zack and Josh.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess…”

“Not to mention,” he kept talking, “we’re in the process of hopefully getting Oli expelled… Or at least in enough trouble that he’ll leave us alone, and that’ll fix a lot of our problems.”

“I guess that’s true…” I admit.

“Angel,” he kissed my forehead, “I know I can’t fix what’s going on with your parents. Trust me, I would if I could, but I’m always here to distract you and remind you that you still have a lot to be happy about.”

I still sort of felt like I wanted to cry, but it was more like I was realizing just how lucky I was to have Alex in my life. As disgusting as it might’ve sounded, he really does light up my life and make me happy, and right at that moment, it made me want to do dirty things to him.

“Lex,” I whispered, nosing his neck, “thank you.”

I could almost feel him shiver. I felt his hand run down my side until it reached a bare patch of skin where my shirt had ridden up. He grazed his fingertips over that spot until goosebumps began arising.

I exhaled a light sigh before pushing a kiss onto his neck. I pulled my head back enough to catch his lips into a kiss. While yes, that kiss was just as passionate as the one from before, it felt… off. That time, he really melted into it like usual—if not a little bit more. I could tell that something more was going to come from it, and to be honest, I didn’t know if I was more scared or excited.

Notes

there is some good ass grade a++++ smut in the next update and i don't think u guys could handle it tbh