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Without the Love

Cross My Heart

-Alex-

I wasn’t sure how bad the ache in my chest had been from not seeing her until we were face to face in the cramped space of Demi’s kitchen, the air around us crackling with intensity. The hollowness in my chest ached until I felt like I was going to combust, only to know that she was filling me with something more than anger. Being so close to her was intoxicating. She was okay. I was the one who’d fucked up. I turned my face away from her, unsure of what to say. She’d been happy with me. She’d always been happy with me. I had thrown away the best thing I’d ever had in my life on account of the fact that my own insecurities made it impossible for me to see her happy. I wasn’t sure what to say. The words were trapped in the back of my throat, gone from the tip of my tongue. I’d hurt her. All for my own pettiness.

“Kenz…” I looked down at her, searching for the words that I couldn’t say. With this new revelation I felt sick to my stomach and the hollowness in my chest made me nearly tremble. My mouth was dry and my head ached, all I could do was stare at her. “I didn’t know. If I had known…”

“Yeah well you never asked! You could only care about yourself and all the things you could get out of the press for the break up!” Her voice broke as she screamed at me. she’d thrown her hands up in the air and was walking away from me. I hated when she walked away from me.

I grabbed her arm and turned her so we were face to face, my hands clutching her shoulders as I backed her into the wall. “You know nothing about how I felt Mackenzie. You stupid little girl.”

She yelped out in pain as my fingers dug into her bony shoulders, our faces close enough that I could feel her breathing on my face. “You’ll never know how I felt Alexander. Whose to say I didn’t know how you did though? You felt trapped with me! The only thing you wanted that I didn’t were children and neither of us were ready for that!” She screamed in my face.
A thousand thoughts raced through my mind. I thought about hitting her, I thought about screaming at her. I’d never been violent towards Kenzie; I’d never wanted to hurt her. She was my baby; she was the girl I loved with all my heart. But when she looked at me like I was a monster it broke me down and made my blood run cold. I wasn’t a monster. We stared at each other, her breath coming faster and faster as I loomed down closer. Each breath she took was hitched and rasping, each time her chest rose it brushed against mine. I leaned down, I kissed her. It was a quick brush of the lips, it was a casual caress. But she melted into me, her lips parting feverishly against mine. I slid my hands down her sides to her small waist and pulled her closer to me as our tongues tangled desperately. I felt alive with her there. I felt like I was invincible.

We kissed for an immeasurable amount of time before Demi cleared her throat and made the two of us jump apart.

“What the hell are you two doing?!” She shouted and glanced between the two of us.
“Kenz?! Alex?”

“I should go.” I mumbled and picked up my duffle bag.

“Alex…” Kenzie’s small hand wrapped around my arm as best it could, she was trying to slow me down.

“We’ll talk some other time.” I mumbled and gazed down at her. “Promise.”

“Cross your heart,” she whispered with the biggest look on her bright eyes of consideration and hopefulness.

“Cross my heart.” I pressed my lips to her forehead. “Cross my heart.”

Notes

Sizzle,sizzle
-xoxoDR

Comments

@RosesNWriters
Aw, yay, you're back! Thanks for commenting on here, or I probably wouldn't have realized.
I'll check out the revamp as soon as I can. :)

Nanook Nanook
10/25/18

Hi everyone! I'm back!
For whatever reason the site no longer lets you log in to old accounts linked to AOL accounts? Yay glitches - but for those of you who were following Alex and Kenzie, feel free to check out the reprised story on this account (with some changes of course).

X.o.x.o M.T.

RosesNWriters RosesNWriters
10/24/18

@Nanook
I got locked out of my account and haven’t been able to get back in; suffice to say I had to make a new one, but I will be REVAMPING this story on this new account

RosesNWriters RosesNWriters
10/24/18

So after reading your other story, I had to check out this one and I absolutely love it as well. Ugh, so bummed your never continued it. :(
But if you ever choose to, I will be here to read. I don't believe I've read a plot line quite like this before, and I hope you choose to pick it up again someday. Would love to know what happens with Alex and Kenzie.
You're a really great writer and have me hooked.

Nanook Nanook
1/2/17
Yaah you updated! :) this story is amazing! :D
Myllez Myllez
9/29/13