The Best Of Us Can Find Happiness In Misery

The Best Of Us Can Find Happiness In Misery –Merrikat/Jalex

Title Credit: I Don’t Care by Fall Out Boy

Jack watched his boyfriend Zack play guitar for what seemed like hours but in reality it was only about half an hour. Zack was just so much better than him at everything. He was far stronger than Jack, he played guitar better than Jack, his build was better than Jack’s, his voice sounded better than Jack’s and it’d gotten to the point where Jack could only point out the flaws in their relationship. Jack didn’t really know if he felt anything more than a friendship between the two. ‘Maybe I should break it off with him?’ Jack thought to himself. He decided that it was the right thing to do because he didn’t want to lead Zack on.

“Jack, are you okay? You look kind of worried…” Zack looked over at Jack and saw the worried expression on his face and immediately started thinking of every bad thing that could possibly happen. Zack calmed himself down and waited for Jack to respond. “Zack I don’t really know how to say this but I don’t really feel anything more than a friendship when I’m with you.” Jack admitted. He started fiddling with his hands and looking down at the floor. “Yeah it’s okay Jack.” Zack said with a smile. “As long as we can still be friends I’m cool with it.” Jack nodded his head and gave Zack a hug. “Thanks for understanding.” Jack smiled. He started to feel a little uncomfortable and then politely made up an excuse to leave Zack’s house. They said their goodbyes and Jack started making his way back to his house.

On his way home Jack had some time to think about everything. He hadn’t spoken to Rian in a while and they were pretty close friends but for some reason he felt the need to talk to Alex. Jack was going to walk straight to Alex’s house but he had to change his top first because he accidentally got tomato sauce on it while he was at Zack’s house. Jack reached his house and walked inside to find that no one was home; typical Barakat household. He let out a sigh and walked to his bedroom before rummaging through his clothes until he found a clean top. He slipped his top off, changed it and then began to make his way out of his house once again.

Jack turned down a few streets and finally ended up at the Gaskarth residence. He probably should have texted Alex beforehand to tell him that he was coming over but they were always over at each other’s houses. Well they were, before Zack and Jack got together. After that, Alex didn’t really see Jack that much. It had crushed Alex but he’d learnt to deal with his feelings towards Jack and get on with his life. Jack had wondered why Alex had become so distant with him but he shrugged it off because he had Zack. All of his attention was focused on Zack.

Jack rang the doorbell of Alex’s house and waited for him to answer the door. Neither of the boys ever rang the doorbell to each other’s houses, they treated each other’s houses like they lived there as well and just walked in. Jack knew that Alex’s parents were both out on business so it was just a matter of waiting for him to answer the door. A minute or two passed [Jack wasn’t really keeping track of time] and the door finally swung open.

There stood a rather tired and worn out Alex. He hadn’t done his hair today and looked like he hadn’t slept well in a while. Jack knew that the boy suffered from pain attacks and mild anxiety but he never expected to see him like this. Jack instantly pulled Alex into his arms and held him tightly. Jack let go of Alex so that two of them could go and sit in Alex’s room instead of standing in the doorway awkwardly.

“It’s been a while.” Alex said quietly. Jack didn’t know what to say so he just went with what he knew. “Yeah, I’ve been busy.” Jack sat down next to Alex and looked down at the floor. “I’m worried about you Alex; we haven’t hung out in weeks.” Jack said as he looked at the broken boy beside him. Alex just nodded his head and starred at the wall covered in posters in front of him. Jack shuffled closer to Alex and then looked over at Alex. “Jack don’t. You’re with Zack…what are you even doing here?” Alex said with a pained expression across his face. Was Jack making him feel uncomfortable? “I’m not with Zack anymore; I didn’t feel anything for him so I broke it off. Alex what’s been going on? I miss you.” Jack’s voice cracked at his last sentence. He missed Alex more than anything.

“Oh really? You miss me? I haven’t seen you in ages Jack! And whenever I did see you, you were with Zack. Not to mention you were sucking his face off.” Alex had said it a little meaner than he intended to but Jack barely even talked to him while he was dating Zack. “A-Alex I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t realize that it bothered you that much.” Jack was on the verge of tears, he never meant to hurt Alex. The two of them stayed silent but Jack could hear the sound of Alex’s breathing getting louder.

“Alex?” Jack looked at Alex and saw the sudden change in his actions. Alex had pulled his legs to his chest and had buried his face into his knees. Alex felt sick to his stomach and he felt it flip as tears ran down his cheeks. He hated breaking down in front of people and he didn’t want to do this in front of Jack. Jack knew that it would take a while for Alex to calm down so he did what had worked a little while ago; he made Alex take a shower.

Jack picked up the shaking boy and walked into the bathroom. He placed him down on the bathroom counter and then walked back into his room and got Alex a change of clothes from his room. Jack walked back and looked at Alex; he hadn’t improved. He stood Alex up and began to undress him. Jack let Alex leave on his boxers; he could change them later. Jack quickly turned on the shower for Alex and waited until it was the right temperature. When it was the right temperature he moved out of the way so that Alex could walk in and then stood aside. “J-Jack can you come in with me?” Alex asked with a shaky voice. Alex was already half way through a panic attack and Jack didn’t want to make it worse so he undressed himself, leaving on his boxers, and got into the shower with Alex. Alex instantly latched his arms around Jack’s waist and wouldn’t let go.

“Alex I’m going to wash your hair okay?” Jack knew that Alex didn’t like people touching his hair so he always asked permission before he went to. Alex nodded his head slowly and unlatched himself from Jack. The two of them had taken showers together before so it wasn’t weird for them. Jack made sure that he didn’t get any shampoo or conditioner in Alex’s eyes as he rinsed Alex’s hair. Once Jack was done Alex latched himself back onto Jack and sobbed quietly into his shoulder. “I-I’m s-sorry Jack.” Alex whispered as he tried to control his crying. “Alex it’s okay.” Jack reassured the shaking boy as he helped him out of the shower. Jack quickly dried himself off with a towel before carefully drying Alex. “I’ll give you your boxers and you can put them of and I’ll do everything else okay?” Jack told Alex. Alex nodded his head and Jack handed him his boxers.

Once Alex’s boxers were on Jack put a pair of baggy pants and a random shirt of Alex’s on Alex and then changing into another pair of Alex’s boxers and putting the clothes on that he was wearing before; he’d give his boxers back when he’d washed them. Jack walked Alex back into his room and laid him down in his bed. Jack sat down next to Alex and held his hand tightly until he felt better. Jack felt the need to cuddle with Alex so he lay down next to Alex and got under the covers so he could wrap his arms around Alex. Their bodies moulded together perfectly. “Alex, I think I love you.” Jack said out loud. “Y-you what?” Alex didn’t expect Jack to ever feel the same way. “I’m sorry Alex I just screwed everything up didn’t I? I’m sorry Alex.” “Jack stop it’s okay, I love you too.” Alex said calmly. “Really?” Jack asked, now feeling better than he did a few minutes ago. Alex nodded his head. “I always have.” Jack placed himself on top of Alex so that his legs were on either side of Alex. Jack leaned in and pressed his lips softly against Alex’s and Alex moved his in sync with Jack’s. Jack pulled away and saw the smile on Alex’s face. Jack smiled to himself and lay back in his spot. “I love you Jack.” Alex said with a smile on his face. “I love you too Alex.”