Edge of tonight

~Alex's pov~

The show was kind of awkward, because of Jack's pissed off mood we couldn't entertain the crowd like we usually do... making jokes and kissing each other's cheeks. Jack didn't speak much during the show. He just said hi to the crowd, made a lame joke about whatever came into his mind and then said bye. He didn't move around much too, which is really weird as he is usually all over the place. Throughout the show he looked at me a couple of times with anger in his eyes. I honestly did not know what made him be like that.

As we walked off stage he whispers something in Rian's ear, passes his guitar to the guitar tech and leaves quickly.
"Ri, what did he say?" I whisper as me and Rian head for the dressing rooms.
"He said he was going straight to the bus and that he will shower there and go to sleep, he also said he is too pissed off to talk to anyone" Rian sighed.
"Oh." I just whispered to myself and walked off. Why is he doing this? I know it's because of me. He hasn't gave anyone else a dirty look. But I haven't done anything to piss him off like this, yes, i did finish his cookie crisp cereal two days ago, but he got over that. I haven't properly spoke to him in the past 1 and a half days. He keeps disappearing, so i never have a chance to ask him anything.

I walked onto the tour bus by myself (Rian and Zack went out to get some take out, we didnt have to drive to the other city until the morning). It was strangely quiet, I thought Jack would be here?
"Jack!?" I call out. I hear a silent, muttered "what" coming from the kitchen. I walk onto the kitchen and see jack sitting down by the counter, his head in his hands. Was he crying?
"Jack, we need to speak" I said. I was beyond concerned now.
"There is nothing to speak about Alex." He stood up and went to his bunk. I was confused and sad. Never has he acted in this way, and it honestly hurt me... a lot.

Jack was a lot more than my best friend. I loved him. Way more than in a friendly way. He was always there for me since 7th grade, and trust me, a lot has gone on in my life. I fell in love with him in about 10th grade, it was just that one little thing that happened that made me fall hard. Jack surely doesn't feel this way about me, he never did and never will. I never actually told him that i loved him, my anxiety gets in the way. And what if I tell him and he gets angry? What if he wouldn't want to be in the band anymore? What if he isn't even a bit gay? I mean, im bisexual... but Jack has always said he is straight. To be fair, these thoughts haunt me every night since the very day i realised that I love him. What if he's not speaking to me if he finds out? Shit. Maybe Rian told him? He promised not too.

I was so busy thinking I didn't even realise that Rian was sat next to me, staring at me and rubbing my shoulder.
"Rian, sorry. I didn't see you there. I'm okay."
"Alex... you're crying. What's up?" I'm crying? I didn't even realise.
"Rian, did you um, tell Jack that I um.. you know..."
"Alex! Of course not! Why?" He cut me off before i could even finish the sentence.
"I'm sorry Ri, i know you wouldn't of. I was wondering if that's why he's not speaking to me"
"Oh, Alex I'm sure that's not the reason. I'm going to speak to him, he is making you lose your mind. You stay here, put the tv on, whatever. I'm speaking to him whether he wants to speak or not." He quickly got up and disappered into the bunk area.

Notes

Hi guys! So what do you all think? I'm sorry this is crap >.< it's my first proper fanfic :)