Did you ever picture life like this? No shooting star to grant your wish.

I held Mari as she cried into me. She could cry one word alone. That single word made my heart stop beating in my chest. Cancer. She had cancer. She wasn't in the right state of mind to say anything more right now. Josie was sitting there, trying to help calm her mother down. Neither of us knew what to say. What was there to say? The comment I had made earlier was now way too truthful. It almost hurt me to see her like this.

She grabbed my arm and gripped it so tightly I was certain I would have bruises on my arm. I pulled her into my lap and rocked her like I used to do whenever she was sad. I didn't know what else to do. I kissed the top of her head and just held her where she was. Her breathing began to slow after a few minutes.

"Stage four diaphragm cancer," she whispered softly.

"Stage four? Diaphragm," I asked shocked.

"Yeah, I'm not going to make it Jack. Just give up on me. I need to accept my fate. I've already given up."

"What about chemo?"

"It won't cure it. Just give me a few more months. What's extra time if I don't get to really live it?"

"Come on."

I grabbed her hand and helped her up. She went to pick up her phone, the screen shattered beyond belief. She shrugged and put it back into her pocket. We went downstairs, she really didn't feel like doing anything. She grabbed her phone again and called a number putting it on speaker.

"Hey Mari," the bubbly voice of Tay rang through the speaker.

"Tay Tay," she said softly.

"Mari, what's wrong?"

"Can you come down and visit soon?"

"Why what's up?"

"I'd rather tell you in person."

"Alright girl, promise me that you're going to be okay. I'll be there tomorrow."

"I love you Tay."

She hung up, tears in her eyes. I pulled her into my side as she began to cry again. I rubbed her back with my thumb. She pulled her knees up to her chest. I pressed my lips to her head once again, I was never going to let her go.

"I still love you," I whispered to her.

"I love you too," she whispered back.

Even when it feels worthless to wish you're gonna get through this.

She got up and walked out of the room. I heard the trashcan open and close. I knew what she threw out. I walked over to her and gave her a look telling her that I was proud of her. She smiled vaguely at me, her eyes were red and bloodshot but she was still beautiful.

"You're strong, you're going to get through this," I whispered.

"No, I'm not Jack. I'm not saying that because I'm not strong. I'm not going to make it, the doctor said that. I have months, I won't even make it another year. I'm not being pessimistic, I'm just being honest," she retorted.

"You know I'll support you, whatever you do."

"I'm not going to get chemo. My way of life will be so poor that it wouldn't be worth the possible year I could have left. I'm just going to let the cancer take me."

"What's your bucket list?"

"What do you mean?"

"Tell me everything you want to do before you die. We're going to do it all."

She looked up at me, seeing as I was about a foot taller, and smiled. It was a genuine smile. She was truly happy, even in this moment. She wrapped her arms around my waist and gave me a genuine hug. It was nice, I liked being in her arms.

The struggle alone is just too much no one's there to hear you scream.

Notes

This is the third and final installment of this story. I really hope you enjoy it. It will all be in Jack's POV unless otherwise stated.

My plans fell through today so here's an update, there will be zero updates tomorrow (I'll be leaving at 8 am and getting back home at 1:30 the next morning). I'm going to try to update Somewhere In Neverland later, I just want to make it really good.

Title and lyrics credit: Head Above Water - Theory Of A Deadman

tumblr: Jointhetidalwaves