"Alex dinner is ready." He heard a knock on the door waking him up.

"I'm coming." He yawned, stretching his body as he threw on a sweater and followed his dad out to the dining room. After the little scene with his mom, Alex had locked himself in his room, drowning his tears with music until he managed to fall asleep.

“Your mom talked to him.” Alex pushed the voice out of his head as he walked into the dining room where his parents were both seated.

“Hi.” he mumbled quietly, purposely avoiding his mom’s gaze as he took a seat across from her. It was drop dead silent around him; Alex didn’t know what to do with himself.

“How was school son?” his dad asked clearing his throat and passing Alex a plate.

“It was fine.” he took the plate from his hands and stared at it idly.

“What did you learn today?” he asked, pouring a few spoonfuls of peas onto Alex’s plate.

“How to piss off mommy.” Alex shook his head angrily; he didn’t need voices right now.

“Just math and stuff.” he answered fidgeting with his hands on his lap. The three ate in silence and all Alex wanted to do was go back to his room, crawl under the bed sheets, and sleep until he turned 92. He could see out of the corner of his eye the looks his parents were giving each other and it angered him the slightest. Why couldn’t they just tell him what was wrong?

“They think you're crazy.” a cold voice interrupted him.

“I know.” he agreed quietly.

“You know what?” his dad asked sternly.

“I k-know you like potatoes.” Alex covered up weakly handing his dad the bowl of vegetables. His dad gave him a knowing look but didn’t say anything. Alex was thankful his father didn’t make his freakish ‘powers’ a big deal in front of everyone else. Alex did have a close relationship with his dad, or used to anyway. Nevertheless, he trusted him to an extent.

“Alex was eating sweets today,” his mother stated calmly. Alex dropped his fork to look at her.

“She already told him. She’s doing it to get under your skin.”

“Really? You know you aren’t supposed to Alex.” His dad went along with it, stuffing a forkful of steak into his mouth.

“I’m sorry.” he apologized because what else was he supposed to do?

“It’s what has you all hyped up. That’s why he fell asleep,” his mother stated, more for her reassurance than anything else. Alex simply nodded and played with the items of food on his plate.

“Aren’t you hungry?” his dad asked after a moment.

“Not really.” he replied truthfully. The pang of hunger from earlier was gone all of a sudden.

“You haven’t ate anything all day Alex.” his mom said concerned.

“I ate the lunch you gave Me.” he lied smoothly. He didn’t need his parents upset about his eating habits too.

“We talked about the effects of anorexia before Alex and I don’t th-”

“I’m not anorexic mom.” he cut in.

“Alex,” she took a deep breath and Alex internally groaned. “You can talk to us Alex. If it’s the anorexia that’s making you talk to your-”

“I’m not anorexic!” he cut in slamming his fist on the table. His mom flinched startled and he instantly felt guilty at the tears forming in her eyes. She was just worried about her son, like all mothers would be.

“I’m sorry mom...I...I just...I don’t know.” he felt defeated.

“You do know. You’re going crazy.” Alex took deep breaths to block it out.

“It’s not your fault Alex...your mother and I are just worried.” his dad said softly and Alex didn’t know what to say. He was at a lost of words, like always.

“We just want what’s best for you. We love you and your mom feels like something is wrong and I have to agree with her on this. You won’t let us in, you keep locked in your room, you won’t eat, I know you can’t sleep, and this whole talking to yourself...it’s not healthy.” his father continued calmly. Alex wanted to hit him, he really did. He wanted him to shut up and leave him alone, but something kept pulling him down. He was fighting a battle with himself on whether or not to hurt his dad...he was crazy.

“I’m not crazy dad,” he whispered.

“We know you aren’t.” His mom replied quickly. “Of course you aren’t Alex! You’re just troubled, but that’s ok! We can fix it.”

“Then why did she hire Dr. Williams.” Alex’s face drained of all color.

“Who is Dr. Williams?” he asked her, his mom swallowed uncomfortably.

“Alex wh-”

“Who is she?!” he demanded beginning to lose his temper again.

“She’s going to help y-”

“Schizophrenia.”

“You think I’m schizophrenic?” he looked at her, her face showed her fear. How did he know all this?

“Dr. Williams says your symptoms are very-”

“YOU HIRED A DOCTOR!” He pointed a finger accusingly. “I am not crazy! I can’t believe you! You promised!” he was referring back to three years ago when he was assured he would no longer have to see a therapist if he did not want to.

“Do not speak to your mother that way!” his dad scolded, standing up.

“You think I’m crazy.” Alex whispered, feeling his hands begin to shake. “I’m n-not crazy.” he choked out, his eyes beginning to spill over with hot tears. None of his parents said anything; they just stared as their son broke down.

“They’re judging you Alex. They think you’ve finally broke. They think this is all about Tom.”

“This had nothing to with Tom.” he spoke coldly, narrowing his eyes at his father, who was comforting his mother.

“We didn’t say it did.” his dad replied.

“You were thinking it!” he accused and the look on his mom’s face proved it.

“Alex,” his dad sighed. “This all started after Tom.”
“Alex honey come inside!” his mom yelled from the backdoor of the house. Alex jumped down from their backyard tree and ran inside, closing the door behind him.

“Hi mom.” the eight year old greeted brightly walking into the kitchen. She was supposed to be home hours ago from picking up his older brother from school.

“Hi sweetie.” she grinned forcing a smile onto her face.

“I was getting hungry.” he made his way to the table his mom was sitting at. It was then that he knew something was wrong.

“Mom, what’s wrong?” he asked worriedly.

“Nothing sweetie. Do you want some mac’n’cheese?” she smiled down at her son, standing up from her chair and walking to the cupboards.

“Yes please.” he grinned taking her previous seat. “Can you put extra cheese? I like cheese.”

“Of course.” she nodded, pulling out a pot and filling it with water. “How was school honey?” she continued, she asked this every single night.

“It was great! Someone actually asked me to be their partner for a project today. His name is Evan.” he smiled brightly.

“That’s great.” she replied.

“Yeah! We have to build a rocket. Tom will help me, he said he would.” he bounced in his seat. It was rare when Alex made social interactions outside of school. “Where is Tom? I wanna tell him about my new friend Evan.” he asked excitedly, it was then that his mother dropped the pot of water onto the floor. Her face blank and empty. Alex felt a sudden pang of worry.

“Mom what's wrong.” he asked confused. “Mom?” she didn’t answer. “Mommy.” he tried again, but she wasn't moving, she didn't even look like she was breathing. “Mommy where’s Tom?” he asked quietly, this broke his mother and she started crying. Alex had never seen her cry so hard, not even when she told him he had to stop seeing the voices he heard.

“Mommy.” his lip trembled and felt himself start to cry. He shuffled closer to her, careful about the spilled water and wrapped his arms around her.

“Where is Tom?” he asked again and his mother shook her head, bringing him closer to her arms.

“Alex, Tom isn’t coming home today,” she said trying to steady her breathing.

“Is he staying over at Andy’s house?” he asked confused.

“No sweetie. He’s not.”

“Will he be back tomorrow?” he questioned and his mother shook her head silently. He didn’t understand why his mother was so upset.

“Alex, honey...Tom isn’t coming back. Not today, or tomorrow, he’s not coming back.”

Alex found out two years later that his brother had shot himself.

“It wasn’t after Tom,” he whispered looking at his parents. “You know it was before that.”

“It was worse after that Alex. You had stopped...it had never been bad. When you were younger it was never dangerous, you were just looking for friends, and you were happy...but you’re starving yourself now, you’re ostracizing yourself, you’re not focused, you're having nightmares. You are acting like Tom.”
“Can you help me?” Alex stood at the door of his brother’s room with a pair of shoes in his hands. His older brother laughed and motioned him in.

“Come on Lex! You’re already five, you should know how to tie your shoes.” he teased.

“I do know how...I just...my hands hurt.” he pouted.

“If you say so.” Tom laughed, sitting his little brother on his bed.

“Why do you have so much cookies on the floor?” Alex questioned as his left shoe was put on.

“I was hungry.” Tom replied smiling.

“Why doesn’t mommy let us have cookies?” he asked curiously. His mom didn’t allow them to have any sort of junk food, but Tom always snuck him in some cookies and candy.

“It gives you cavities.” Tom wrinkled his nose, finishing the knot of the first foot.

“What’s that?” Alex asked.

“Something bad.”

“But cookies are good.” Alex said confused. How could something good be bad?

“That is true.” Tom grinned, picking up a packet of Oreos off the floor and handing it to Alex. “Just don’t tell mom.” he winked ruffling his hair.

“They melted.” Alex frowned.

“They still taste good.” Tom promised.

“Can I share them with Vinny and Vic?” Alex asked brightly.

“He’s perfectly fine!” Tom snapped turning around and balling his fist and nothing in particular.

“Tom?” Alex asked quietly, his brother often talked to the wall. Alex was ok with it.

“Sorry Lex.” he breathed turning to face him, smiling again. “You can share them with whoever ok.”

“Why doesn’t mommy like me talking to them?”

“Because she doesn’t understand.” he said angrily but shook it off for his brother's sake. Alex only talked to Tom about his friends and even though Tom couldn't see them either, he believed him.

“Dan says he’d like to help you.” Alex said after a second.

“Tell him no thank you.” he said quietly.

“He looks sad Tom. He said he can still help you.” Tom shook his head. “Do you need help? I can help,” he offered

“It’s too late for help Lex.” he smiled knowing his brother could never understand.

“Why?” Tom smiled sadly and kneeled next to his brother, holding onto his wrists softly.

“People like me, people that fall, we can’t get back up again.”

Those words forever haunted Alex. He should have helped; he should have done something.

“We all fall down.” he spoke up, “but Tom, he refused to get back up. I’m not Tom, mom...I’m not going to do the same thing.” Alex said with deep breaths, tears falling silently. His mother looked at him, pain filled her eyes.

“I don’t want you to follow down that path,” she cried. Tom had always been different, and like Alex, he claimed to hear voices. The difference was, he never told his parents that, just Alex because he wanted to assure his brother he wasn’t crazy. Tom had been an alcoholic and by age 12 was already doing drugs. His parents blamed that for their son’s odd behavior. They didn't want Alex to do the same thing.

“I won’t mom...please, just please don’t make me see a doctor.”

“He thinks you’re on drugs.”

“I’m not taking anything...I promise...I’m clean.” He looked at his dad pleading.

“We don’t want it to get too far. We made that mistake already Alex, if they had detected your brother earlier than he’d st-”

“I’ll stop! I’ll make friends...I’ll eat all you want! I’ll stop talking to myself anything!” he pleaded, his eyes burning into his parents.

“Don't you realize you shot this family a world of pain?” Alex’s heart broke at that.

“You’re going.” Alex stood up without another word and made his way up the steps, passing by Tom’s room and stopping momentarily. The door hadn’t been opened in years. He felt a knot at his throat as he pulled it open.
“Alex don’t go in there!” Dan pleaded, but the eight year old shook his head stubbornly.

“I miss him.” He defended and turned the knob.

“He’s not in there!” Dan yelled behind him.

“I know that! But...but I just.... I want to.” he couldn't explain it. The temptation to enter his brother’s room was too much now.

“Please. Don’t go! Please stay. ” He was begging Alex now, his hands trying to pull him back put Alex pushed him off. Dan was crying and calling him over and over again. The second Alex walked in he felt a wave of fear pass through him, and then emptiness.

“Alex!” Evan pleaded from the door; Alex ignored it and climbed on top of the bed.

“Alex!”

“Leave me alone! I’m not a little kid Dan!” he screamed back and Dan walked away sadly.

“Alex who are you talking to!?” His mother yelled from the kitchen.

“No one!”

That was the last time Alex ever heard from Dan again. In fact, the day he stopped seeing the owner of the voices all together. His mother was furious that day, so he blocked them out successfully for a week, but then the voices returned. He just couldn't see them anymore. He missed Dan at first, but he found comfort in the new ones eventually. He stared at his hand on the knob, his mind a mess.

“It’s ok Alex, we can get through this.” He nodded, letting go of the door and walking back into his room.

Notes

Everything in italics is the voices speaking.
Everything in bold is a flashback. I'm not great at format...let me know how i can make it clearer!

OKAYYY I know many of you are probably bored and waiting for Jack but CALM YO TITS. He's going to come.....;) I don't want this to go so quickly so i want you guys to REALLY get to know Alex before I bring Jack. HE WILL BE HERE SOON I PROMISE YOU!

On a more serious note,
I know many people don't feel comfortable reading about Alex's brother, but this is just a story. I know many people think it's wrong and an invasion of privacy, but I m not doing it out of respect. I know what it's like to lose a brother, so please believe me when I say i'm doing it for the purpose of the story. I know it's a darker theme than most fics, but I have always stuck to these type of stories so i HOPE YOU ENJOY.

Leave me some feedback yeah? AND DON'T BE A SILENT READER OMFG it's not nice :(

Thanks beotches :*

-An