Jack:
“You good, Jay?” Alex chuckled as he climbed back into bed.

“Mmm,” I hummed opening my arms to him. He grinned and let me pull him in for a kiss. “Told you, movie night here, had a much better chance of getting laid.”

He snorted. “You’re ridiculous.”

I glanced down. “And you stole my sweatpants.”

He shrugged and laid back, closing his eyes. After a moment, he cracked one eye to glance at me. “Going to join me? I need body heat since you stole all the blankets for your fort.”

I wanted to, but something was bugging me just a bit more. I rolled over so that my weight was resting on my elbows. “Actually, um,” my eyes dropped to the sheets below me, “I wanted to see if you were ok?”

I heard him swallow. “W-Whatcha mean?”

I sighed. “Lex, come on.” I looked up to see his gaze desperately avoiding mine. “Hey,” I pushed his hair back out of his face, “talk to me. I’m just concerned.”

He nodded. “Yeah,” he sniffed. “Sorry, sorry, I–” he scrubbed his eyes furiously with the heels of his hands, “It’s been a while since I’ve had to explain them. I, um… Kinda makes me relive it, ya know?” He sat up and glanced at me with glossy eyes. He let out a short laugh. “Well, no, I guess you wouldn’t.” He shrugged. “You smoke when things get too much, I had,” he cleared his throat softly, “other ways of coping.”

I sat up. “Lex-“

He grinned at me. “Nah, don’t worry about me. It’s been years, I’m ok.” He shook his head. “Sorry, I probably should’ve told you before, but I swear, I’m ok now.”

I wasn’t even a hundred percent sure what information I was being given, but something wasn’t letting me process it correctly. I just stared at my boyfriend, dumbfounded until “Other?” came stupidly tumbling out of my mouth.

“Yeah, I, ugh,” he scratched the back of his neck. “Ah, fuck,” he mumbled. He got up on his knees and rolled away the fabric at his hips.

I couldn’t help but gawk at the bundle of scar tissue. Dozens and dozens of white lines overlapping to form the bumpy patches of skin my fingers had grazed over. “Lex,” I said sadly.

“No, no, it’s ok really. The top ones are like five years old, I swear,” he rushed, rolling his pants back up as he sat closer to me. I grabbed him and kissed him hard. I didn’t know what else to do. He chuckled. “Really, Jack, I’m fine. I promise. I was in a bad place, but I’m not there anymore.”

I searched his eyes, but found nothing to contradict his words. “You better be. That is not ok, Alex, not on any level.”

He kissed me lightly. “I know, but hey, at least I’m not at risk for lung cancer.” I gave him a hard look. “I know, I know, but I’m allowed to worry about you, too, ya know.”

I ground my teeth. “Fine.” I got up and strode over to my jacket, discarded on the couch, and started riffling through the pockets.

“Jack what are you-“

I held my box and lighter up for him to see. He clamped his mouth shut. I slid back the glass door to the balcony, letting in the cold winter night. “If I shouldn’t worry about your bad habits,” I pulled my arm back and hurled the objects as far as I could into the woods beyond my backyard, “then it’s not fair to make you worry about mine.” I shut the door, grabbed my comforter off the floor, and returned to my spot next to Alex. I dropped the blanket on the bed and looked him in the eye. “Deal?”

He flushed a light shade of pink. “Deal.”

Notes

Two chapters in one evening, it's a fucking miracle to be completely honest. I wanted to tack this on to the end of the other chapter actually, but it was already so long and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to write it all tonight, but low and behold here it is. I'll try not to vanish for too long now, I promise. Enjoy! - Anna