When It's Broke It's Perfect

“Happy 2 month birthday Jameson!”
My little guy is getting so big. It is making me sad. Zack was only able to take off about a week from tour after I had the baby. It was nice to have his help even if it was for only a short period of time. He will be home for a couples days now before the band heads to Europe for festival season. I went back to work when Jameson was 5 ½ weeks old which was an adjustment for both baby and myself.
“Where’s my baby,” I hear Zack say as he opens the door to my place. I of course just woke Jameson up for a feeding. Zack was lucky this time.
“We’re up in his nursery Zack!” I shout down to him.
I hear him come up the stairs and stop in the doorway.
“I thought I told him to stop growing,” he says sadly as he looks at our baby.
“I tell him the same thing every day.”
He then comes over and grabs the baby from my arms.
“Let me feed him.”
I oblige and let him sit down in the rocker. I mean he doesn’t get to see his kid very often I better let him bond with him at least a little bit when he can.
I begin to walk out of the room when I hear Zack, “Hey Cal?”
I turn around, “what’s up?”
“Can we go talk a little later down at the river?”
“Uh sure,” I reply skeptically.
After Jameson is fed and changed Zack packs both myself and baby up into his jeep and we head to the river. I am not going to lie, the river will probably the best for us, we all calm down and are happiest there.
Once we get there and settled Zack dives right into what he wants to talk about.
“So… I have been thinking Cali.”
“About?” His body language was making me nervous.
“About Maryland. And about happiness.”
“Okay?”
“Look Cal. I’m not happy here anymore.”
“What are you trying to say Zack?”
“I found a place in Hawaii. I’m moving next week.”
He must have saw my face because he began to scoot away slowly.
“What? What about Jameson?”
“You guys can visit.” He was so chill about the whole thing which is what pissed me off even more.
“It isn’t just about you anymore Zack. You have a fucking baby,” I was getting pissed now.
“I don’t want to be here anymore Cali. I can’t do it. I need to make myself happy.”
I get up and grab Jameson. “Fine. Sounds like you have made you decision. Glad you are choosing YOUR happiness over your fucking family.”
“Cali it’s not like that.” He grabs my hand as I am beginning to pack up the baby.
“Yes it is.”
“Please just let me show you how beautiful it is out there and see how happy I can be.”
“Look… It is either me and Jameson OR Hawaii. It is your choice.”
“Really? You are going to make me choose?”
“Yes.”
“I am going to Hawaii Cali,” he says hurt.
“Fine. Have a nice life Zachary.” I say and walk away.
I knew the last few months were too good to be true. He was so sweet for the longest time which is not like him.
I catch an uber ride back home and lock the world out. My baby is the only person I need in my life. I put Jameson down for bad and watch romantic movies to try and make myself feel better.
Fuck men; especially those who knock you up, say they will be there and then become so selfish you can’t stand to look at them.

Notes

Two chapters in one day?!?!? What has gotten into me?! Hope you like it.

Park