All I remember from that night is laying in his strong arms talking about what we wanted to do once he went back on tour. We of course had just finished having sex by the river 5 minutes before that.
I remember him saying to me, “Cali I love you but should we really keep being miserable 9 months of the year because we can’t see each other constantly?”
Not going to lie I was not quite a fan of him saying the second half of that sentence but I couldn’t let him see my dismay. He was right in a way. For 3 months out of the year we were the perfect couple who had the best sex we could possibly ask for but for the other 9 months of the year he was traveling around the world with his band, All Time Low, and I was traveling around the world doing public affairs for one of the most famous bar chains in the world. We were both so passionate for our jobs and workaholics to the T.
I also remember replying to him through welled up eyes, “so this is it, Zack? We are just going to make a clean break and move on?”
I could feel him nod. I decided to put on a brave face as we got up from the blanket we were laying on and he walked me to my car. When we got to my car I could see the sadness in his eyes. All he said next was, “I guess this is goodbye my girl. You be safe okay?” And then he hugged me and when he let go he just turned around towards his front door.
The drive home is quite a blur and so is the next few weeks. It is as if I was on autopilot and going with the motions. All I had now was my dog, my best friend Kate, and my job.

---

On week 2 day 3 after the break up Zack’s European tour began. I know because I had always kept track of when his tours began and ended so that I could begin the countdown. I never removed the date from my phone. When Kate sees me welling up while looking at my phone she jumps out of her chair.
“Cal you have got to pull it together.”
“Kate, I just don’t understand how I am not good enough. He didn’t even try to make me stay. He let me go.”
“He didn’t want to see the pain in your eyes anymore Cal. None of us do.”
“He fucking had sex with me a half hour before Kate! A half hour! It’s like I was his booty call or something.”
“You know what Cali Lynn McDowell, I am taking you to Bali and we are leaving your phone behind. You need to get the boy out of your head.”
And that was that. She took me to Bali for 2 weeks, no phones, no internet. That leads us to the present day.

Notes

This was on my other account dreamkeeper89 but I forgot my password to it so I am reposting it on this account. Comments please :)
Cali McDowell