Guts

Lies. Lies. Lies. That's what my life has become. Everyone looks at me and never sees who I really am; what I really am. I wish that I could tell them. I wish that I could scream it, but I just can't bring myself to. Guts. That's what I wish that I had. I've been keeping it a secret for I don't even know how long now. When did it start anyway? I think that I was... sixteen? Fifteen? Has it really been that long? Then I've been keeping this new secret for a little over a year now. I wish that I could at least tell everyone that one, but that would expose my more important secret. I'm stuck keeping my ace of hearts to myself.
Unable to stay sitting in my bunk, I make my way to the front of the bus, where I find two of my band mates, Alex and Rian. Both of them are texting away on their phones, and I wonder if they both just so happen to be talking to their girlfriends. The answer is given to me when Alex puts his in his pocket and notices me.
"Sebastian and Peyton miss me."
I find myself just nodding. It's not that I don't care. It's just that I'm not really in the mood to talk to anyone, well, anyone that is on this bus. Alex's eyebrow raises in concern. I'm not one to just not talk. Sometimes I have my moments, but he must have noticed that it's been a long moment, three days. Because it's unusual, I know that he’s looking at me even when I turn away from him and sit in front of the TV. Nothing seems to be on, but I don't feel like picking up the remote and changing the channel. Noticing this, Alex does it. I don't know if he's doing it for me or if he gave up on me and is going to watch whatever is on. He flips through the channels, and each one makes me more upset than what I already am. I see couples. Couples fill the screen on every channel. Now most people know me as a more of a "friends with benefits" kind of guy, but they don't actually know the real me, and the real me gets rather lonely when he sees these things. Normally I hide it even from my friends and family, but it's been eating at me far too much now. My eyes try to focus on the object in front of me, but it's getting too hard. In fact, I'm about ready to give up, but then I see the glimpse of something and then someone. The channel is changed though.
"Go back," I tell Alex with a bit too much excitement.
My friend does as told, and it turns out that my eyes were right. There she is being interviewed about her new book. I can't help but feel so proud of her. She started from the bottom, and now look where she is. She's an up and coming author. I take in her appearance even though I have a folder of pictures of her hidden on my computer. Her once long brown and blonde streaked hair is now shoulder length which suits her quite nicely and makes her look her age. Black-framed glasses are over her forest green eyes and sit on her small nose. She's not only beautiful but also adorable. Not only is she quite a sight, but she's smart too. She talks about things that... Well, I literally don't know what she's talking about, but that doesn't matter. Her music taste is amazing, and she's kind. She's-
"Do you want me to keep this on?" Alex confusingly asks me. I nod in reply. "Well, alright."
I turn back to the screen, and start to pay attention to what the questions are and what she is saying in response. Luckily, I do know a bit about this book. However I do plan on reading it, and I'm not sure if there will be any spoilers. Oh well. I just want to hear what she has to say. That's all that really matters right now.
"Now that we're back," the interviewer says. Apparently there had just been some commercials. I really lucked out. "I think we should discuss a certain character in your book."
"Someone that isn't the main character?" the author, Avalyn, questions.
"Well, as one of your readers, I know that you always like to throw a character somewhere in there that is based on you. I'm pretty sure I know which one it is, and a lot of your other readers think so too."
"You're probably right then."
"You see, the thing is that for once, your character isn't single. She has a boyfriend."
"If you're talking about Arabella, she does."
"Does that mean that you have one in real life?"
The blush that covers her cheeks isn't that hard to miss. "I don't know. Do I?"
"Well, that's why I'm asking. It's just that you've been rumored to be with people before, but they all turned out to be false. As far as we know, you haven't had one since you started publishing your works."
"That is true." I watch as she puts her hands in her purse.
"True that you have a boyfriend now?" After a second, my eyes go off the screen and to the phone which I now have in my hands. I text back and put it away.
Avalyn smirks. "I do have a boyfriend right now." Some people from the audience gasps.
"So you do? What's his name?"
"We aren't ready for that yet, but I could answer some questions I guess."
"How long have you two been dating?"
"About a year now."
"And is he the same as you?"
"If you're talking about what I think you are, then yes, he is."
"That is so cute. Well, I'm really happy for you."
"Thanks. Anything else you want to know?"
"Can you at least tell us what field he works in?"
"Music."
"There are a lot of people in music."
"Yep, and that's all you're getting from me. I can't give you too much because you might figure out who he is."
"That is true, so we'll change subject to the setting of your book, but before we do, is there anything that you want to tell him?"
"Yep." Avalyn turns to the screen, turns to me. "I love you." She blows a kiss, and I mentally catch it.
"That's pretty cool," Alex says.
"What is?" I ask.
"It's cool that she found someone. It's even cooler that she actually found someone like her. Isn't she the author that is-"
"She is."
"Yeah, so that's pretty cool. Good for her. Now if only we could get you someone."
"You know that I prefer to not date. It hasn't worked in the past, and it probably wouldn't work again," I lie through my teeth.
"Well it would still be nice for you to have someone. I'll argue for it for as long as you argue your friends with benefits."
"Then you will be arguing for a long time."
“Yeah, but it’s worth a try.”
If only my friend knew that it isn’t worth a try because I’m already doing what he wants me to do. Of course he isn’t going to find out about that. No one is. My family doesn’t even know. Although, I might have to tell them if this goes on any longer. How long will this be able to go on? At first, I thought that it would end after only a couple of months, but it’s been over a year now. What’s going to happen when we get so far along that the next step is a certain possibility? I’ll have to come out about my secret. All of this, including the obstacles, are long down the road and may even disappear, but it still gets to me especially when I sit down and think about it all. Curse my wondering mind.
“Are you spacing out again? Earth to Jack.”
“Oh. What?”
“I was just saying that after our next two shows, we’ll get to stay the night at a hotel.”
“Oh yeah. I almost forgot about that.”
Alex’s face turns serious, and he starts to speak softly. “Are you alright? You haven’t been yourself lately. If there is anything you want to talk about...”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I... just haven’t been feeling well lately. I might have caught a bug.”
He sighs. “Alright, but if you want to talk about anything, just let me know.”
“I will.”
We’ve been friends for over ten years, but I still can’t actually open up to him about this. I know that he wants me to talk to him and trust him, but he doesn’t know that my life has been a lie. I’ve been told that everyone is going to treat me normally and that they aren’t going to care. It’s just that it’s gotten to the point where I am no longer scared of the secret itself coming out. I’m mostly scared of them knowing that ten years worth of lies have slithered it’s way out of my mouth. I’m constantly telling our fans to just be themselves, but the truth is is that I can’t be myself. The fear of it all is too much for me. I’m not free like Avalyn is. I’m a caged bird.
~
After the show, I find myself sprinting back to the bus and away from everyone else. They decided that they all wanted to hang out with the other band that we were on tour with, and I declined and said that I wasn’t feeling well. I am acting feeling fine. In fact, I feel amazing because I’m going to actually have time away from them. Time away from them means that I’ll have time for her. When I get to the bus, I make my way over to my bunk and get in. Once in, I take my phone out of my pocket and quickly dial her number. A few rings fill my ears before she finally picks up and her soft voice replaces the harsh sound.
“Hello, Jack,” Avalyn says. Her voice is smooth like butter and comes off as friendly to everyone. She has one of those voices that belong to the shy lead in those romantic anime that she’s told me about and has forced me to watch a couple of times before.
“Hey, Sweetie.” The smile on my voice can probably be heard as I speak.
“I assume that you’re alone?”
“Well, that is the only time that I actually call you instead of text.”
“I know. That’s why I’m coming to this conclusion. So, how has tour been so far?”
“It’s been pretty good. More and more people are showing up and performing for them is a blast.”
“You don’t sound as ecstatic about it like you normally do.”
I sigh. “Even though you can only hear my voice, you can tell.”
“Of course I can. Now, what’s bothering you?”
“It’s mostly because I miss you.”
“More than normal?”
“Yeah.”
“I miss you too.”
“Although I love touring, I wish that I was home right now, so I could go over to your place and just hang with you.”
“Actually, I’ve been looking at your tour schedule, and it turns out that I’ll be in the same town as you when you get that little break. I assume that you’ll be staying in a hotel?”
“Really? You’ll be in town? And yeah, we are staying in a hotel.”
“Awesome. Yeah, I’ll be in town doing a book signing, and since you’re staying the night, I figured that I’d get a hotel room as well and then we can hang out.”
“That’s sounds epic. Let’s do that. I don’t even care if it’s not a date. Just spending time with you will be worth it.”
“It will. I can’t wait. I’ll text you the details later. One thing, are you going to want it at the same hotel or a different one?”
“Um, I guess that it could be at the same one. I don’t think that it’ll be that hard to cover up seeing each other.”
Avalyn stays quiet for a second. “Have you gotten any closer to telling them? Or anyone?”
I can’t help but sigh. “It’s been on my mind lately, but I don’t think that I’m ready.”
“They’ll except you no matter what.”
“I know, but I’m scared about how they are going to be when they find out that I’ve been lying for so long.”
“I understand.”
“Do you? Every time, you ask me if I’m any closer, and I tell you no. Then you just go along with what I’m saying. Sometimes I wonder if you care about me not telling anyone.”
“I do care. I care a lot. I really wish that we could be open about this. I hope every time that I ask you, you’ll finally say that you are. I’m just being patient. I don’t want you to rush into anything.”
“I know. It’s just that I worry sometimes.”
“It’s fine. It’s like this one anime that I watched.”
I chuckle. “Are you going to make me watch that one too?”
“No, it was a shounen ai. I won’t force you to watch that if you don’t want to.”
“That’s the boyxboy one, right?”
“Yeah, and that’s why I won’t make you watch it. Actually, I could always have you watch an action one with me.”
“That sounds nice. It’s not that I don’t like romance. It’s just that I sometimes get upset that we can’t be that open. I know it’s my fault, and that makes me upset with myself.”
“I’ve gotten that way too about other things. If you don’t want to watch any, tell me. That’s all you ever have to do.”
“Alright. I normally don’t say anything because I make you watch movies that I want to see.”
“True, but it never bothers me. I’m completely fine with it since I’m always in your arms.”
After she finishes saying this, I hear the door to the bus open and then calling of my name. I start to talk quietly into the phone. “Sorry, but I have to go for a bit. I’ll call you right back in a sec.”
“OK. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
I hang up and have just enough time to put my phone away. As soon as the device is in my pocket, the curtain is drawn back, and I find Alex outside. The look on his face is one of worry, and this makes me a bit nervous.
“You still aren’t feeling well?” It came out more like a question than a statement. I nod which causes him to sigh. He sits down on the edge of his bunk which is right across from mine. “Everyone is worried about you, including me.”
“There is nothing to worry about.”
“Bull shit. We can tell the difference of you being sick and when something is on your mind, and it looks a lot like the latter.”
“Well, there is nothing going on.”
Alex sighs in frustration. “Jack, if it’s bothering you as much as it looks, you should probably talk to one of us about it. It doesn’t have to be me. It can be Zack or Rian. We’re your friends, and none of us like it when you’re like this. If you did something, we aren’t going to judge you. We’ll stick by your side. Hell, we’ve been friends for how long? Jack, there is nothing that is going to make us hate you if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Looking at my friend is really getting at me. It only makes it worse knowing that he’s not the only one that is worrying about me. I try to direction my attention away and look at my hands, but his face is still in my mind. A feeling overtakes me, and it feels like I’m going to get sick if I don’t let at least part of all of this secrecy out. Unable to keep it all in any longer, a little bit slips out.
“I’m seeing someone.” My eyes widen when it breaks through my defences. I start to draw into myself.
“You’re seeing someone?” I nod, since I know that I cannot take it back. “Why didn’t you tell any of us?” I answer with only a shrug. “Have you been preoccupied because it’s not going well or something?”
“No,” I say a bit too loud as I finally look at him. “It’s, um, it’s going great.”
“Really? Well, who is the lucky girl?”
“I, um, we don’t really want anyone to know yet.”
“I guess it’s none of our business. It would be nice if we could meet her though. I have to see if this girl is good for my friend.”
“Trust me, she’s great. Maybe one day, I’ll have you guys meet her. I just don’t want it to be now.”
“Can you at least tell me how long you two have been together?”
“A little over a year.”
“What? You’ve been together for over a year, and it took you that long to just tell me that you’re seeing someone? Why is it taking you so long?”
“I have my reasons. Can... Can I be left alone? I was kind of on the phone with her...”
“I see. Well, I’m going to go back over. Feel free to come on by when you’re done.”
“Alright.” Alex gets up, but before he leaves my sight, I stop him. “And Alex?”
“Yeah?”
“Could you not tell anyone else about this?”
“Of course.” With that, he leaves.
A slight rush of relief comes over me. I was afraid that that was going to go terribly wrong, but it didn’t. It feels good to get a bit out, but part of me also doesn’t feel all that well about this because my wall feels like it’s slowly breaking apart. Trying not to focus on it, I dial Avalyn’s number again, and this time, she picks up right away.
“That took a bit longer than I thought it would. What they want?”
“It was Alex, and he says that they’ve been worried about me, and I... I kind of told him that I was seeing someone.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, and that we’ve been dating for a little over a year.”
“I... I can’t believe that you actually did that.”
“You’re OK with that, right?”
“Of course, you told me to tell everyone that I had a boyfriend, and I did. I didn’t think that we’d both tell everyone on the same day.”
“Well I only told Alex, and I told him not to tell the others. I’m still not ready for all of this.”
“Well, I’m still proud that you got this far.”
“You are?”
“Yeah, and I hope that everything goes alright for when you’re ready to go further.”
“Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it. Now, what are we going to do when we hang out?”
~
Talking to Avalyn gets my mind off of everything to the point where I actually went and hung out with everyone. Of course the thoughts can’t be gone forever. As soon as my mind is trying to drift off into sleep, the thoughts come back. What if the wall breaks down? How will everything play out? I know that I shouldn’t be worrying about this as much as I am, but I can’t help it. I can’t help but feel that the time for the secret to come out is coming up soon, and it makes me feel... ill? I guess that’s a word that I can use for it. Hopefully when it comes, I’ll be strong enough. I’m trying to build up my strength now, but holding it in for so long, as stretched me thin. It’s been hard to rebuild the palace. I have since I met Avalyn, but I don’t think it is ready for when the wall breaks down. This will either go completely alright or badly. Thinking about all of this eventually tires me, and I fall asleep.
~
Hurriedly, I make my way up to the hotel room that Alex and I are suppose to be sharing. Even though I won’t be going to the room that Avalyn is staying at until later, I really want to take a shower. My shirt is soaking from sweating so much while jumping and running around the stage during the performance. As soon as I’m in the room, I put my bag on the bed, grab a change of clothes, which include a pair of black jeans and green V-neck that she got me, and then go into the bathroom before Alex can even get into the room. Water makes it’s way down my body once I step in. Since I couldn’t wait patiently to get in, the liquid is still a bit chilly. I don’t really mind though. Although thinking about all of this really makes me wonder how Avalyn is so patient. There is no way that I’d be able to wait a year for something.
As my hair becomes more wet, I realize that I didn’t grab any shampoo or body soap. There are some in the bathroom here, but I forgot to grab any of those little bottles as well. I move the curtain and spot them on the corner of the sink. Carefully, I step out slightly and reach for it. Lucky for me, I have a long body and am able to grab them. Now that I have them in hand, I look at them and really hope that there is enough in here and that they smell alright. I mean, I could just put a bunch of cologne on if it smells weird.I’m probably just worrying too much about this just like I have been about everything else. It’s just that I haven’t seen her since tour started. I can’t really help but be this way.
There is just enough in the bottles to get clean, and it doesn’t actually have a scent, so everything is alright. I step out of the shower after turning the water off and drying off. I dress and as I do, I realize that not only had I forgotten to grab shampoo, I also forgot everything else that I needed. I leave the bathroom and find Alex sitting on one of the beds on his phone. I don’t really bother to acknowledge him since I’m too focused on making sure that I’m ready. I dump the contents of my bag all on my bed and grab everything that I need. It takes me a second though because I ended up making it look like an I-Spy book. I’m about to head back into the bathroom when the voice of Alex stops me in my tracks.
“Where are you going? We just got here.”
“I’m going out to see my girlfriend. She’s in town too, and I need to make sure that I’m look alright.”
“You’re acting like a girl right now. Since when do you get this worked up?”
“I haven’t seen her all tour, and I really miss her.”
“Understandable. What time are you going?”
I look at my watch. Even after getting completely ready, I’m still going to have half an hour before I need to leave the room. “When I’m done with all of this, half an hour.”
“If you have that much time, you could sit down for a bit.”
“I guess that I could sit down for a bit, but I’m going to go ahead and finish getting ready so that I won’t have to worry about it.”
After telling him this, I go back into the bathroom and finish getting ready. The amount of cologne I put on is probably a bit too much, but I’d rather smell like that than anything bad. Besides, I know that Avalyn likes this scent. With my hair done, cologne and deodorant on, and my teeth clean, I exit the small room and sit down on the bed. Alex is still on his phone, and by the annoyed look, I assume he’s playing some kind of game and not doing well. He sits it down when he notices me.
“Looks like you have some time to kill,” he tells me.
“Yeah.”
“Want to use that time to tell me a little bit about your girlfriend?”
“But I don’t want you guys to know yet.”
“You don’t have to tell me who she is. Just say some things about her like what her interests are. Stuff like that. I’ve been curious since you told me.”
“Alright. Well... She loves music. In fact, she even plays bass and piano. She also loves writing which is the biggest thing in her life. Then she’s always telling me about different kinds of birds when she sees them, and she also likes to draw them. Um, she likes anime and romantic things. Oh, and she loves cute things. It’s too the point that she can’t go in the stuffed animal aisle without her taking one home.”
“Sounds a bit different than what you’re normally into. What does she look like? A blonde with big boobs?”
“Actually she’s the opposite. She’s a brunette and very petite. She’s the kind of petite that still gets mistaken for being a teenager.”
“How old is she?”
“Our age.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, it doesn’t help that she’s so short. She’s told me that most people look at her height when they guess or assume. Her friends in college always acted like she was fifteen even though she wasn’t that much younger than them.”
“Damn. What else can you tell me about her? How did you to meet?”
“I was in Michael’s.”
“So you actually met your hot girlfriend there? Never thought that was possible.”
“Yeah, I was joking around, and I found her looking at the sketch pencils. I went up to her and started talking to her. I didn’t think that anything would come of it, and then I asked her where her mom was.”
“You literally thought she was that young.”
“In my defense, she really does look young. Anyway, she chuckled at me and showed me her license. I was shocked. I didn’t think that I was that off, but since she was cute, I started flirting with her. She wasn’t buying it, but she didn’t mind them. We ended up talking, and I left with her number. At first, we started off as friends. When I started to know everything about her, I... I guess that I formed a crush on her. It took me a bit before I actually asked her out on a date, and she laughed at me when I finally did. I was so embarrassed, but then she told me she was just laughing because I ‘took my damn time’. I didn’t really think that it would last, but it has. She gets me, and I get her.”
“You really like her.”
“Actually, it’s already gotten to the ‘love’ part.”
“I didn’t think that I would see the day when you’d be like this.”
“Neither did I before her. Do I still have time?”
“Yeah, you have plenty. Care to share any stories about the two of you?”
“I guess that wouldn’t hurt. Let me think... Oh, there was this one time...”
~
Knocking on the door almost seems pointless since it’s so quiet, but Avalyn is able to hear it. Once the door is open, I can’t help but take in her appearance. Her skinny jeans are light grey, and the sweater than she is wearing is like sky blue but a bit lighter. The only makeup that she’s wearing seems to be mascara and a bit of eyeliner. I figured since she always goes for the “natural” look. Avalyn lets me in, and I make my way over to her bed before sitting down. After shutting the door, she turns and looks at me with a smile on her face.
“I’ve got the movies,” she says.
“And I’ve got the arms that are going to hold you.”
I find myself being tackled down onto the bed after she runs over to me. Her hands make their way to my neck and armpits as she starts to tickle me. I can’t help but laugh, but I luckily get control of myself just enough to turn us around and start tickling her. She’s a lot more ticklish than me, and I stop before it gets too much. Once this happens, I look into the emeralds that she calls eyes and then lean down to give her a kiss. It’s a short one, another follows and another. None of this leads to any making out. Instead, it just leads to me letting her up in order to put the first movie on which was my pick. I take my shoes off and get comfortable under the covers and then comfortable with her in my arms once she gets in to join me. Avalyn starts the movie, and a feeling of... completeness? Yeah, that’s the word. A feeling of completeness overcomes me.
~
With both movies watched, we just lay face to face. My hand is stroking her cheek, and her’s is on my chest. I’m not sure how long we’ve been like this. Five minutes? Ten? Twenty? All I know is that I’m the happiest that I’ve been in awhile.
“I don’t want to go back to my room,” I whisper as if anything loud would shatter the moment.
“Then don’t.”
“Alright.” A minute of silence sweeps over us until I decide to speak. “I told Alex about you.”
“You told me.”
“No, I told him about you like how we met and what your interests are.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Wow. You’re getting closer a lot faster than I predicted.”
“Yeah, but I still don’t want them to know.”
“Jack, do you remember what I told you when you finally told me your secret when we were friends?”
“Yeah, you told me that you didn’t like being this way either.”
“That’s right. I didn’t because it makes dating harder, and my lack of confidence make it hard enough. I was open about my secret, but I still didn’t like it. Then you told me that you hadn’t told anyone, and you were suffering because of that. I came to the conclusion that this was just life, and it didn’t matter if you were open about it or not. However, then we started dating after you told me, and then everything was alright. It didn’t matter if I was like this because I had you. My worries were gone, and any worries I had about people’s opinions disappeared too because I had you.”
“You’re the reason why I’m doing as well as I am too.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Avalyn moves to snuggle closer to me, and at that moment, I finally realize that I need to tell my friends. It will only get worse if this continues on, and besides, I have Avalyn, and together, we complete each other.
~
“Is that sex hair that I see?” is the first thing that I hear when I enter the room I was suppose to be sharing with Alex.
As I walk over to my bed to grab a change of clothes, I run my fingers through my hair to make it look normally. If only Alex knew that this isn’t sex hair, and it will never be sex hair again now that I can be myself with the girl I love. My mind is thinking a bit about everything that is going to go down today before I finally let it free, let myself free from my cage.
“I’ve decided to let you guys meet my girlfriend.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. In fact, I was hoping that she could come with us to the next tour date.”
“I don’t think anyone would have a problem with that. You better hurry though, we don’t have much time before we’re leaving.”
“I know. I just have to get dressed, and she’s taking a shower as we speak.”
“So you didn’t join her?”
“No, I need to clean up everything that I dumped her yesterday and get dressed.”
“Well, alright.”
~
Just as I figured, Avalyn and I are the last two to get on the bus. I didn’t think that it would take her that long to get a shower, but apparently her backs been hurting her which reminds me that I need to give her a massage sometime tonight. We enter the bus and find Alex, Rian, and Zack waiting for us with grins on their faces in the front of the bus along with some of our crew members. I give them a small smile while Avalyn gives them a wave. Apparently Alex is the only one that knows who she is. I can tell since his face is falling.
“Hi,” Avalyn greets. “My name is Avalyn Taylor, and it’s great to meet you all.”
Her name seems to confirm Alex’s thoughts and then brings the rest up to speed. Nerves are starting to act up as I worry that my nightmare is going to come true.
“Jack,” Rian says. “Isn’t that the author that’s...” I nod my head in agreement.
“In the interview that you watched it said that she was dating someone that was like her,” Alex points out, “but that can’t be right.”
“I, um, kind of need to tell you guys something. I’ve been lying to you about my interest in sex since I found out what I am. I was too afraid of what you guys would think, and then it only got worse as time passed. I’m sorry about that.”
“You don’t have to be sorry about anything. We’re always going to except you for who you are. This doesn’t change anything.”
“I told you they wouldn’t care,” Avalyn tells me as she grabs my hand. “Now what are we going to do on the trip there? Cuddle time?”
I chuckle at the sight of her. “Sure, cuddle time.”
~
It’s finally the last day of tour, and I’m excited but also nervous. A couple of weeks ago, Avalyn and I decided that we were going to come out as a couple and also me come out myself during this last day of tour. I kind of wanted to do it in person before telling everyone online. Of course we also decided that we weren’t going to just come out. We were going to come out with a bang. We finish the song that we were performing, and I know which one is next, “Guts”. It starts normal, but there is a voice coming from backstage singing background, and it stays that way until the bridge when Avalyn makes her way out onto stage and joins us. She’s a natural even though it’s not her specialty, and she’s not there long. During that short about of time, she comes up and signs with Alex. When it ends, she stays in place, and Alex starts speaking.
“You’re a better singer than Jack let on,” he smirks.
“Oh, I’m not that good.”
“Whatever you say. Hey guys, if you didn’t know, this is Avalyn Taylor the author of some really fucking good books that you should check out. Now, she came out all this way to share something with you. Jack, go ahead.”
Once he says this, Avalyn makes her way over to me. At first, I’m unable to get a word out, but then she takes my hand in her’s, and it gives me the guts that I was missing. I look at her and can’t help but fall in love all over again. With a nod, I turn my head back to the microphone.
“I’ve been keeping some secrets from all of you guys for some time now. The first one is that Avalyn and I have been dating for over a year.” I can see a couple of confused looks in the crowd. “If you know her, you’d know that she’s been dating someone just like her, and that deals with the other secret of mine. I’m not exactly that overly sexual one. In fact, that really isn’t me at all. I’m sorry for not being myself. The truth is that I’m her asexy ace of hearts.”
“Just like I’m his.”
“If you have any questions, I’m going to be talking about it later online. Now, I think that we should get on with the show.” I give Avalyn a peck on the lips before she leaves and we continue playing.
I feel lighter on my feet as I jump around. The weight that has been on me has finally been lifted. Everything that has been holding me down is finally gone. I haven’t felt like this in so long that I forgot the feeling. Is this what it feels like? To be free? To not have gravity holding me down?
Finally, I can see. Honestly, I’ve got the guts to say anything.

Notes

This took me forever to write (mostly since I didn't plan this all out), but it came out a lot better than I originally thought it would. One of the things that I decided when I got half-way into it was to not use the word "asexual". I was almost done with it, so I went with it. Another thing about this fic is Avalyn is partly based on me, so the reason for not like being asexual actually comes from me. (Hopefully, I'll find me a Jack soon. ;) ) Anyway, I hope you liked how this came out.