Downcast
CHAPTER 1
“Cause I go insane, crazy sometimes. Tryin’ to keep you from losing your mind; open your eyes, see what’s in front of your face— Save me my fistful of tears”
The sky on this Sunday afternoon was a dull blue, white clouds were dotted across the sky like paint to a blue canvas. The wind in Chicago’s countryside created the effect of the trees dancing— swaying to it’s own rhythm. The countryside’s fields were a lush apple green— the trees scattered across the vast sea of green bore carmine red apples that broke the ongoing flood of green.
The apples looked juicy and, from experience, they were. They and a crunch when bitten into and dripped with juice that required the eater to suck up with delight. The apples were grown here, not for money purposes but rather for any field-walkers nourishment.
This was home.
This would always be home
“So…” she began, drawing the word out to encourage her brother to speak, when he didn’t respond she continued.
“So, why did you want to go for a drive?” the car had been quiet except with the quiet humming coming from the car stereo. Maxwell’s ‘Fistful of tears’ played softly, filling up the silence ever so slightly.
“Gabbie, I need to tell you something.” she turned from her position next to the window to look at her brother eagerly. Maybe he would tell her where they were going, although the chances were unlikely. Gabbie knew that when Jonah wanted to go for a drive he had very important information to divulge, it tended to be bad news; she knew that he knew she would be calmed by the scenery, that it would keep her from losing her mind. But there was something about this moment that screamed at her, screamed to her to block her ears or get out of that Wrangler Renegade Jeep.
“Gab—“
“Can we stop the car… Please? I-I need air.” Jonah nodded before flicking his indicator anti-clockwise: signalling that he was pulling over. The car hadn’t even stopped before Gabbie swung the passenger door open and ran for the field. She knew she couldn’t run from the important news Jonah had for her; she knew that running wouldn't get her away from anything, no matter how far she went— responsibilities would be waiting for her when she returned.
“Gabbie, please.” Jonah’s voice was distant, laced with desperation. Gabbie stopped, her heart beat drummed through her ears, her breathing was shallow— her lungs desperate for the air it had been missing.
“Gabbie, please just listen.” she steadied her breathing but never looked at her brother.
“Gabbie… I’m going to Iraq.” he said carefully.
“What?” she squinted at him in astonishment, her top lip lifted up at the corner.
“You’re what?”
“I’m being flown out tomorrow. Gabbie, I—“
“How could you?” she hissed.
“How—“
“How could you do this to me? Jonah, do they know?” Jonah didn't respond, he only bit his bottom lip. Everyone seemed to know about his plan except for her. Was it because he knew how she’d react?
“Gabbie, I’ll be fine. I need you to—“
“You don’t get to ask me for anything, Jonah. If you won’t stay then I have nothing to say to you.” she crossed her arms over her chest and watched him carefully, her eyes pleading him to change his mind and give up this dangerous fantasy. But he didn’t. He just stood there in front of her, his hands in his pockets, his head focusing on the distance. He couldn’t look her in the eyes, he couldn’t handle seeing the hurt in them. He had always been her protector, he had always helped her, been there for her and she wasn’t ready to share his caring nature with anyone else.
“Just take me home.” she pushed past him to get to the car. She slammed the door loud enough for Jonah to know that she wasn’t happy. He knew.
The drive back home against the field seemed to lose the same appeal as it did driving fore the the vast ocean of green. Gabbie had turned the stereo off and sat with her head in her hand, her face against the window. This wasn't fair. It wasn’t fair that he wanted to do this, that he wanted to lose her. It wasn’t fair.
“Gabbie I—“
“Shut up.” she whispered hurt, shaking her head disapprovingly. She didn’t want to hear anything out of his mouth.
“Listen to me.” he said sternly, shooting her a warning look that, although she didn’t see, she could feel.
“I know it’s going to be hard on you when I leave, but I want you to listen to me. Don’t and I mean don’t do anything stupid.” Gabbie huffed, rolling her eyes dramatically.
“I know you, Gabs. I know what stints you pull— just don’t. I’ll be bak before you know it, okay? I’ll be perfectly safe; I have friends that have also enlisted— we’re all stationed in the same place. They will have my back and I’ll have theres. It’s—“
“Why?” Gabbie forced through tight air pipe. Her voice was strained and her mind was running wild. She didn’t want to see Jonah leave; she didn’t want him to walk into the face of danger. She didn’t want to lose him… In every possible meaning of the word.
“The people on that side are suffering… I can’t sit here and do nothing.”
“But you’re leaving me.” she looked up at him with teary eyes, her innocence presenting itself.
“Gabrielle, listen to me, things can’t always be about you. There are other people in this world that need help. I can’t put my entire life on hold because you don’t want to lose me.” his voice was unconcerned, stubborn as she was.
“Trè harsh.” she mumbled under breath.
“What?”
“Nothing. So are you going to come back in a coffin?”
“Gabby!” Jonah yelled, turning his head to look at her. “Enough.”
Gabby didn’t waste a single moment to jump out of that car and race inside the victorian style house that was painted a crisp white with blood red edges and frames.
“Gab—“
“How could you?” she turned to her father who was standing at the kitchen’s doorway, a dish cloth wrapped around his hands.
“How could you let him do this?”
“Gabrielle, he is a grown man, he—“
“No!” she yelled at her dad; Jonah walked through the door with displeasure etched on his features.
“Ignore her. She’s been like this the whole drive back.”
“Oh, ignore me.” she dropped her hands to her thigh, frustrated by the acceptance her father had and the stupidity that seemed to consume her brother.
“Great. Keep ignoring me. Wonderful. Wait until Carmen hears about this.” she threatened, her eyes focused on both men— both men looking at her undignified.
“She already knows, Gab. She’s coming over tonight for supper.” her father pinched the bridge of his nose. Mister White was no stranger to outbursts from his youngest daughter; she was nearing nineteen and it was a growing thing with children. He experienced it with his oldest child, Carmen, and his middle child, Jonah. But Gabbie turned out a lot worse than her two siblings. She had been babied her whole life, her older siblings were always looking out for her and making her life as comfortable as they could, but Gabbie found it harder too let go of this bond they had. She was scared the war would sever their bond. She always though of Jonah being the knot that held both sisters together; if the knot broke, both pieces of string would be separated. Without Jonah, the sisters’ wouldn’t survive.
The sky on this Sunday afternoon was a dull blue, white clouds were dotted across the sky like paint to a blue canvas. The wind in Chicago’s countryside created the effect of the trees dancing— swaying to it’s own rhythm. The countryside’s fields were a lush apple green— the trees scattered across the vast sea of green bore carmine red apples that broke the ongoing flood of green.
The apples looked juicy and, from experience, they were. They and a crunch when bitten into and dripped with juice that required the eater to suck up with delight. The apples were grown here, not for money purposes but rather for any field-walkers nourishment.
This was home.
This would always be home
“So…” she began, drawing the word out to encourage her brother to speak, when he didn’t respond she continued.
“So, why did you want to go for a drive?” the car had been quiet except with the quiet humming coming from the car stereo. Maxwell’s ‘Fistful of tears’ played softly, filling up the silence ever so slightly.
“Gabbie, I need to tell you something.” she turned from her position next to the window to look at her brother eagerly. Maybe he would tell her where they were going, although the chances were unlikely. Gabbie knew that when Jonah wanted to go for a drive he had very important information to divulge, it tended to be bad news; she knew that he knew she would be calmed by the scenery, that it would keep her from losing her mind. But there was something about this moment that screamed at her, screamed to her to block her ears or get out of that Wrangler Renegade Jeep.
“Gab—“
“Can we stop the car… Please? I-I need air.” Jonah nodded before flicking his indicator anti-clockwise: signalling that he was pulling over. The car hadn’t even stopped before Gabbie swung the passenger door open and ran for the field. She knew she couldn’t run from the important news Jonah had for her; she knew that running wouldn't get her away from anything, no matter how far she went— responsibilities would be waiting for her when she returned.
“Gabbie, please.” Jonah’s voice was distant, laced with desperation. Gabbie stopped, her heart beat drummed through her ears, her breathing was shallow— her lungs desperate for the air it had been missing.
“Gabbie, please just listen.” she steadied her breathing but never looked at her brother.
“Gabbie… I’m going to Iraq.” he said carefully.
“What?” she squinted at him in astonishment, her top lip lifted up at the corner.
“You’re what?”
“I’m being flown out tomorrow. Gabbie, I—“
“How could you?” she hissed.
“How—“
“How could you do this to me? Jonah, do they know?” Jonah didn't respond, he only bit his bottom lip. Everyone seemed to know about his plan except for her. Was it because he knew how she’d react?
“Gabbie, I’ll be fine. I need you to—“
“You don’t get to ask me for anything, Jonah. If you won’t stay then I have nothing to say to you.” she crossed her arms over her chest and watched him carefully, her eyes pleading him to change his mind and give up this dangerous fantasy. But he didn’t. He just stood there in front of her, his hands in his pockets, his head focusing on the distance. He couldn’t look her in the eyes, he couldn’t handle seeing the hurt in them. He had always been her protector, he had always helped her, been there for her and she wasn’t ready to share his caring nature with anyone else.
“Just take me home.” she pushed past him to get to the car. She slammed the door loud enough for Jonah to know that she wasn’t happy. He knew.
The drive back home against the field seemed to lose the same appeal as it did driving fore the the vast ocean of green. Gabbie had turned the stereo off and sat with her head in her hand, her face against the window. This wasn't fair. It wasn’t fair that he wanted to do this, that he wanted to lose her. It wasn’t fair.
“Gabbie I—“
“Shut up.” she whispered hurt, shaking her head disapprovingly. She didn’t want to hear anything out of his mouth.
“Listen to me.” he said sternly, shooting her a warning look that, although she didn’t see, she could feel.
“I know it’s going to be hard on you when I leave, but I want you to listen to me. Don’t and I mean don’t do anything stupid.” Gabbie huffed, rolling her eyes dramatically.
“I know you, Gabs. I know what stints you pull— just don’t. I’ll be bak before you know it, okay? I’ll be perfectly safe; I have friends that have also enlisted— we’re all stationed in the same place. They will have my back and I’ll have theres. It’s—“
“Why?” Gabbie forced through tight air pipe. Her voice was strained and her mind was running wild. She didn’t want to see Jonah leave; she didn’t want him to walk into the face of danger. She didn’t want to lose him… In every possible meaning of the word.
“The people on that side are suffering… I can’t sit here and do nothing.”
“But you’re leaving me.” she looked up at him with teary eyes, her innocence presenting itself.
“Gabrielle, listen to me, things can’t always be about you. There are other people in this world that need help. I can’t put my entire life on hold because you don’t want to lose me.” his voice was unconcerned, stubborn as she was.
“Trè harsh.” she mumbled under breath.
“What?”
“Nothing. So are you going to come back in a coffin?”
“Gabby!” Jonah yelled, turning his head to look at her. “Enough.”
Gabby didn’t waste a single moment to jump out of that car and race inside the victorian style house that was painted a crisp white with blood red edges and frames.
“Gab—“
“How could you?” she turned to her father who was standing at the kitchen’s doorway, a dish cloth wrapped around his hands.
“How could you let him do this?”
“Gabrielle, he is a grown man, he—“
“No!” she yelled at her dad; Jonah walked through the door with displeasure etched on his features.
“Ignore her. She’s been like this the whole drive back.”
“Oh, ignore me.” she dropped her hands to her thigh, frustrated by the acceptance her father had and the stupidity that seemed to consume her brother.
“Great. Keep ignoring me. Wonderful. Wait until Carmen hears about this.” she threatened, her eyes focused on both men— both men looking at her undignified.
“She already knows, Gab. She’s coming over tonight for supper.” her father pinched the bridge of his nose. Mister White was no stranger to outbursts from his youngest daughter; she was nearing nineteen and it was a growing thing with children. He experienced it with his oldest child, Carmen, and his middle child, Jonah. But Gabbie turned out a lot worse than her two siblings. She had been babied her whole life, her older siblings were always looking out for her and making her life as comfortable as they could, but Gabbie found it harder too let go of this bond they had. She was scared the war would sever their bond. She always though of Jonah being the knot that held both sisters together; if the knot broke, both pieces of string would be separated. Without Jonah, the sisters’ wouldn’t survive.
Notes
New story!!Really positive about this one.
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xoxox
