Welcome To My Life

Alex and I got out of the car at IHOP and went inside. We sat down oppose each other. After we both took off our coats, Alex looked at me, a serious look on his face.
"So, how are you feeling now?" he asked.
I figured he was referring to the fact that I told him yesterday that I wouldn't have cared if I had killed myself.

"I'm fine, really" I replied, but I could tell Alex didn't believe me. "I just have these... moments of weakness. When everything just gets too much to the point where I just loose myself in it. I have been in the hospital for... stuff like this more often than I could count on 1 hand, but I always scrabble back up somehow."

"But why...?" Alex asked, causing me to give him a questioning look. "I mean, shit just seems to affect you more than it does to most people... If you get what I mean..."
"Who knows.. They've never been actually able to diagnose me with anything, but something's not right up here" I said, pointing at my head. "My shrinks guess was bipolarity, but I don't know. My guess is that the things that happened in my past just fucked me up so bad that I am now unable to function properly."

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and pulled it out. It was Jack. "I should probably take this" I told Alex apologetic.

Alex's POV
Liz was the kind of girl most people would tell you to run from. 'She's too troubled, you can't fix her, she'll drag you down with her'. But I didn't care. While she was on the phone, I went over what she had just said. Liz talked about her mental problems like they were nothing, though I was pretty sure that was just her keeping her guard up, which I couldn't exactly blame her for after everything she's been through. I just hoped she would let me in, eventually, but I knew it would be a long way.

"Calm the fuck down" I heard Liz say, snapping out of my thoughts. "I'm at IHOP with Alex."
"..."
"Yes, I was allowed to leave the hospital."
"..."
"Who are you, my mother?"
"..."
"Your house is not my home and it never will be."
"..."
"Fine. Goodbye Jack."

She hung up. "Dipshit"
"What was that all about?" I asked her.
"I may or may not have been kicked out of Jack's house" she shrugged.
"How come you're not sure?" I asked.
"Because Jack is pissed and people tend to say things they don't mean when they're pissed, but he definitely said I didn't have to come back, so yeah..." she sighed.

"Hey, if you need a place to stay, you're welcome to crash" I offered, smiling widely.
"I don't think that's a good idea" Liz said, causing my face to fall.
She must've noticed it because she immediately continued. "It's not because of you, Alex, really. It's just that... I like you, and experience has taught me that if I'm around people too much I get sick of them, and they get sick of me, and that's not what I want to happen to us."

I felt my cheeks redden. She likes me. But in what way? As a friend? As more than a friends? I wanted to say that I couldn't imagine myself ever getting sick of her, but I didn't think that was the kind of cheesy thing Liz wanted to hear. Liz was definitely not the kind of girl whose heart you could win with sweet talk.

"Where are you gonna stay then?" I asked her.
"Jenna maybe" she shrugged.
"Don't you think that'll be... awkward?" I asked her, realizing my mistake when I saw her face.
"How would it be more awkward than staying at yours? Jen knows how I feel, or don't feel, about her. You don't" she winked.
"You definitely got a point there. I keep trying to figure it out but you're unfathomable." I agreed.

She shrugged. "I couldn't tell you, even if I wanted to. I don't even know how I feel about you myself."
I raised my eyebrows. "That's not helping" I said, making a sad face.
"It's the only answer I've got for you right now" Liz said, and from her tone I could tell she was done talking about it, so I shut up.

A waitress showed up next to our table, asking what we wanted. We both ordered a drink and pancakes. I went with my favorite, New York Cheesecake pancakes. Liz picked Chocolate Chip pancakes.

"By the way, am I not interrupting your plans for the day?" Liz asked after the waitress left.
"I would gladly cancel all my plans to hang out with you." I said, before realizing it sounded way too cheesy. "I m-mean... no..."

Liz looked at me, tilting her head. "Alex. I'm not allergic to people saying nice things to me, okay? You really don't have to pretend to be someone else or hold yourself back or think twice before you say anything, for me. For anyone, for that matter. Please just be yourself. I like that version of you. No, I'm not your average girl you can wrap around your finger by saying cheesy stuff, but I'm still a girl and I can still appreciate a boy being sweet to me every once in a while" she said winking.

"That's good to know, but how do you even know when I am being myself?" I asked her.
"Well, it's not hard to tell if something is forced or if it comes naturally. I've got quite some knowledge of human nature" she winked.

The waitress came to bring our drinks.
"Now, how about a less heavy topic. I want to know more about your band! Jack won't tell me anything" Liz said.
"Fine, but only if you'll tell me more about you afterwards. I feel like I know so little about you" I agreed.

"Maybe I want to keep it that way" Liz said, smiling mischievous.
"Then you will never know anything about our band" I winked.
"Okay, okay, deal. Now tell me, I want to know everything" she said.

"Well, our band is called All Time Low and it's me, Jack and two of our friends, Zack and Rian. I don't know if you've met them before?" I started.
"We went out with them, remember? Zack's the muscular one and Rian the nearly bald one, right?"
"Right" I replied.

"So who plays what? I know Jack plays guitar and you sing" she said.
"I sing and play guitar, Zack plays bass and Rian plays the drums" I explained.
"Have you played shows yet? With actual people watching?" she asked.
"Yeah a few. Prom will be our next show. You will be there right?" I asked hopefully.

"When is it?" she asked.
"Thursday two weeks from now" I replied.
"I'll see if I can make it" she replied, winking.

Notes

So yeah... I'm sorry for not updating for over 2 weeks. I've been busy and honestly just didn't know what to write. In a month I'll be starting my creative writing minor and hopefully it'll help me make this story better. I'll also have a lot more free time so more time to write!

And eh, happy new year my lovely subscribers!

Title credit: All Time Low - A Daydream Away