Jack's POV
Well, how great was this, I thought annoyed. It’s not that I didn’t want to sing with Jenna, it’s just that I knew how much she didn’t want to sing with me. Could I blame her for that? Probably not. I did hurt her pretty bad after all. I just wish there was even a chance of her wanting me back.

Ever since Liz moved in and I had been hanging out with Jenna again, I realized I missed her, even after all this time. I wasn’t sure why as she hadn’t said a single nice word to me, but well, the heart wants what it wants. Unfortunately, I’m not what Jenna’s heart wants and I probably never would be. The worst part was that I only had myself to blame for that. I really didn’t feel like singing some love song with her, like we used to.

“How about Ready To Go by Panic At The Disco” Jenna suggested wryly.
“I bet it explains your feelings perfectly” I replied.
“Exactly” Jenna said, walking up to the guy and telling him our song.

We both got up on stage. I noticed our friends sitting at a table in front of the stage. Someone gave Liz a glass of wine. Getting her home by the end of the night was gonna be great, I thought. I should probably just leave that to Alex, as Liz seemed to like him a lot more when she was drunk.

The music started playing and the screen with the lyrics on it told me I had to sing the first couple of lines. I looked at Jenna before I started singing but she looked straight ahead, ignoring me.

You've got these little things that you've been running from
You either love it or I guess you don't
You're such a pretty thing to be running from anyone
A vision with nowhere to go

I shot a look at Jenna, who just stood behind her mic stiffly. Just from that, I could tell how uncomfortable she was. Usually she would jump and dance all over stage when she was singing.

So tell me right now, you think you're ready for it?
I wanna know why you got me going so let's go
We'll take it out of here
I think I'm ready to leave
I'm ready to live

Throughout the whole part she didn't bother to look at me even once and I realized I was never gonna be able to make up for what I put her through. I had to accept the fact that we would never be together again and move on. I was so deep in thought I almost forgot to sing the chorus.

I'm ready to go
Get me out of my mind, get me out of my mind
I'm ready to go ooooh

We finished the song, but it was even worse than I expected it to be. Jenna hadn't even looked at me once and walked straight off stage when the song ended. I thought of going after her, but what's the use? I noticed Jenna walk outside, but decided to leave her be and headed for our table.

"Well, to say that was uncomfortable to watch would be an understatement" Rian said.
"Jee, thanks man" I groaned.
"Why d-did you even do it?" Alex slurred.
"Uh... Liz made us do it? Where is she, anyway?" I asked when I noticed my cousins absence.
"Uh outside" Alex shrugged.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "You let her go outside on her own in the dark in the state she is in?"
"She's a big girl" Alex replied.
"No, she's reckless" I sneered. "I'm gonna go find her."
I turned around and headed outside.

"What is up with you?" I heard a familiar voice behind me.
I turned to find Alex who had apparently followed me.
"Nothing" I sneered.
"Then stop being such an asshole" Alex replied, more harshly than he would usually talk to me, causing me to be quiet.

We stared at each other for a few seconds.
"This is about Jenna, isn't it?" Alex asked.
"I don't know, okay?" I admitted. "This is about everything. Ever since Liz moved here everything has been changing and I don't like it."
"Why not? You are now closer to Jen than you have been ever since you broke up" Alex asked quizzically.
"Exactly. I could deal with having lost her when I didn't have to be around her, but now..." I sighed.

"Jack... You pushed her away..." Alex said, shaking his head. "You could still have had her if you hadn't gone and cheat on her..."
"You think I don't know that? You think I don't regret that, every fucking day?" I growled.
"I don't know, you don't ever talk about your feelings so how should I?" Alex sneered. "How about you start taking responsibility for your actions? I know your parents never taught you to do so but..."
"Don't you dare bring my parents into this" I sneered.
"You know, I'm getting really sick of your attitude" Alex said stiffly. "If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go find Liz."

"Don't bother" I heard a voice behind me.
I turned to find Jenna. Had she been listening the whole time?
"Why not?" Alex asked.
"She left" Jenna replied.
"Well, that's great. Why?" I sneered.
"You know Jack, if you miss me so much you might want to stop sneering at me like that" Jenna said through gritted teeth.

I felt my face turn red. Yes, she had been listening. Fuck.
"She heard Jack say how everything changed for the worse ever since she got here" Jenna said stiffly, turning to Alex.
"Where'd she go?" he asked.
"I don't know" Jenna replied.
"Come on Jen, she's drunk, she can't be out on the streets alone" I said, raising my voice.

A dark smile appeared on her face. "You almost made me believe you cared."
"Of course I care, she's my cousin" I replied, lowering my volume again, not wanting to upset her.
"Oh please Jack, you don't care about anyone but yourself" Jenna said scornful.
"That's not true" I protested.

"Yes it is. You don't care about where Liz is, you just don't want to be held responsible for losing her. You don't care about me, you're just lonely. You don't care about your friends, you just use them to do your dirty work and to make you feel better about yourself. Go fuck yourself, Jack. You and me? That's never gonna happen. You had your fucking shot and you blew it. You broke my heart, and now you're suddenly in love with me again? You don't even know what being in love means. Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna go find my drunk friend and take her home."

Without another word, she turned around and walked off into the dark, leaving me speechless. Alex looked at me, shook his head and ran after Jenna, probably to help find Liz. Jenna was right. Not about all of it, but some of it, definitely. I was lonely. Did I really love Jenna or just the idea of her?

I sighed. I just wanted to go home but I wasn't about to walk so I went inside and convinced Zack and Rian to go home and drop me off. I told them the rest went home already. For a second I felt bad about leaving Alex, Jenna and Liz but then I realized what Jenna said. I didn't care about any of them, according to her, so why would I feel bad about leaving them out in the streets at night?

Notes

Sorry it took so long, had a really busy week so I was pretty exhausted and also kind of blocked.

Title credit: Mumford & Sons (or well, Tonight Alive) - Little Lion Man