It's Such A Shame That We Play Strangers

It was the night of the talent show. Rian and I have been working on it every chance we could get. We stayed up most nights, figuring out the tune and the way it should go. I couldn’t stop, it had to be perfect.

I wanted to try again with Jack. I haven’t seen him or talked to him since we broke up. I’m singing a song. I’m going to tell him how I feel. I love him. I think I do. I need to know if he still ‘loves me...’

I walked into the auditorium, guitar strapped over my shoulder. I looked at the audience and shivered under my skin. I haven’t performed in front of a crowd this big in such a long time. I used to play with Sophie and when she died, I played a lot more. It reminded me of her and I love that it does.

I took a seat at the end of the first row, preparing myself before I get called up. I looked around again and again looking for Jack, hoping he was in the audience, sitting there. Probably talking to Zack. I smiled as my eyes followed Rian to the seat next to me. He patted my shoulder.

‘You nervous yet?’ He questioned, smile lingering his lips.

‘Not really, I’m used to the crowd size.’ I replied.

‘No. I mean Jack and the reaction that may come from this… Once you start singing… who knows how he will react. I just hope it’s a good reaction… on your behalf… because I mean…’

‘Rian, enough. Okay, of course I’m nervous about that. I have no idea if he’ll know that it’s about him. Well us, I mean. I kinda put the relationship and the aftermath in it. How we don’t talk anymore. But yeah… we’ll see if he realises and reacts.’ I said.

We sat in silence as the room went dark. The light on the stage turned on, beaming down onto the music teacher, Mrs Haven. She began to speak, introducing the acts one by one. You could tell by the tone of her voice when she was introducing acts that she was excited for and the ones she wasn’t.

My name was called, and she was very excited. She nearly jumped up and down on the stage. I stood from my seat and smiled to Rian as I pulled my guitar over my shoulder once more. I walked up the stairs to the stage and smiled to the audience with the microphone in front of me.

‘Hi everyone. My name is Alex Gaskarth and I am here to sing a song I wrote in about a week. I had the help from my friend Rian down there but umm, it’s called Oh, Calamity. I hope you like it.

We get older by the hour
Watch the changes from afar
Keep forgetting to remember
Where we've been is who we are
Now all I do is wonder
Why we ever set the scene
Oh, calamity

It's such a shame that we play strangers
No act to change what we've become
Damn, it's such a shame that we've built a wreck out of me
Oh, calamity
Oh, calamity’

I finished the song and took a bow as the crowd cheered my off the stage. I wasn’t really focused in seeing if Jack was out there. I was too excited, the adrenaline was unreal. I missed the feeling of performing. I sat in my seat and smiled to Rian who tapped my back and told me I did very well.

I didn’t win the contest. There was a way better singer who ripped up the stage. He had a band, with a bunch of friends of him. They called themselves, Fall out Boy. I liked the music they played. It was very catchy.

I was walking back to my room, getting compliments from most people who walked past. Some talked amongst themselves, saying ‘I heard he wrote that for Jack…’ One kid said to another. I shook my head and walked away.

I opened the door and frowned as I saw Jack sitting on the bed which happened to be mine. I placed my guitar against the wall near the door and closed the door as I walked towards the bed Jack was sat on.

‘You wrote that song for me didn’t you?’ Jack asked.

‘Yeah. I did. I wanted to express my feelings and that’s how I did it. It’s true though Jack. I feel as if now that our relationship has ended that we have become strangers again. I don’t see you, I don’t talk to you anymore and do you know how hard that is for me. I looked at you and loved you with every inch of my heart. And when we broke up, when you broke up with me, you are the one who moved on. I wanted you to see how much I was hurting.’ I said, pacing back and forth in the room.

‘You don’t understand Alex. I wanted to be with you but I am not ready for a relationship. I have a lot of issues I am still getting over, still getting control over. You were a big part of my life Alex. I thought I loved you too but I think… I think it was the feeling I was getting. I was wanted, I was needed. I loved the idea of being with you for those reasons and I’m sorry to burst your bubble but I’m not coming back to you, if that’s why you think I’m here.’ Jack said.

‘Then why are you here Jack? Why would you come to me after I sang you a song? Why would you want to know if it was written about you?’ I asked, looking dead at him as I stood across the room.

‘I… I don’t know. But I can’t take you back Alex. I just can’t. You’ll hurt me.’ Jack said.

‘How do you honestly know that? I won’t dare hurt you. I really like you Jack. My feelings are genuine. Maybe we don’t love each other but one day we will. I don’t want to lose you out of my life. You have become a big part of it. You are my best friend and losing a best friend sucks. I am sure you know that. The way you are leaving me, is the way Tyler left you.’ I said, stepping closer to Jack.

‘Alex. No. Don’t bring Tyler into this. You don’t have a right. I loved him, a lot. We had been dating for a really long time and then he killed himself. On this side of the room. I am attached to this room. I can’t leave it. I don’t feel safe in Zacks room.’ Jack honestly spoke.

‘You are more than welcome to join me back in here.’ I said.

Jack stood from the bed and walked over to his side of the room. He got on his knees and pulled out the box I once had looked at myself. He picked it up and put it on the desk once he stood himself. Lifting the lid, Jack went to the bottom of the box, pulling out another photo.
‘Jack, I don’t want to look at another photo of you and Tyler. Please.’ I said, making Jack look to me.

‘You looked in it?’ He asked.

‘I only opened the box. I saw the top photo. I swear.’ I replied.

‘Well, this isn’t a picture of Tyler and I. It actually is a picture of you and I. We took it when we were in the forest one day. I got it enlarged and printed. I put it in my box because you will always be a special part of me, Alex. But I can’t do it.’ Jack said handing me the photo.
‘Jack, thank you.’ I replied, looking down to it.

‘Yeah, no worries. Well, I’m off to my other room. I’ll think about your offer of taking my room back. And you can stay. Obviously.’ Jack said as he put the lid back on the box and picked it up, walking to the door.

Tucking the box under one arm, Jack opened the door with the other. He looked back to me and nodded his head with a little smile for niceness.

‘Jack, would Tyler want you waiting around or would he want you to be happy?’ I said, sitting down on the bed, photo in both hands resting on my legs.

Jack faced the front and froze for a while before he walked out the room, closing the door behind him.

Notes

I am still the writer of this story, I just changed my name.
Enjoy!