I Was Here The Entire Time...

Jack walked out of the airport, bags in hand and guitar strapped across his back.

He saw Rian's car parked by the curb and he walked over, setting his bags on  the concrete before lightly tapping the passenger window, alerting the shorter male of his presence.

Rian's door opened and a second later, the taller blonde-black haired male was being pulled into a bone crushing hug.

"Rian. Can't. Breath. Need. Air." Jack choked out, dramatically emphasizing each word with a gasp for air.

Rian chuckled, releasing the slightly younger male before patting his back once and saying, "I'm sorry, it's just been what? Ten years since I last hugged you?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah. Wow I guess it has been ten years."

"So how was California?" Rian asked, helping Jack load his bags and guitar case in the back of Rian's car, closing the door a moment later.

"It was great. The scenery over there is a lot different than over here in Baltimore."

"Yeah, I bet. All those beaches and babes in skimpy bathing suits." Rian laughed, walking back around his car and getting in.

Jack rolled his eyes, opening the passenger side door and getting in, Rian, already having the car running, pulling out of the airport pick-up curb a second later. "Ri, you know I'm gay. I was more concerned about the guys."

Rian chuckled again. "Yeah I know. Speaking of; did you meet anyone?"

Jack froze, awkwardly picking at his fingers in his lap before answering. "Um, n-no."

"And why not?" Rian asked, flicking on his turn signal, getting over into the lane that would lead them back into the area where Rian and his girlfriend Cassadee lived, also where Jack would be staying until he found a place.

"Because, Ri." Jack sighed.

"Because why, Jack?" Rian pushed, wanting Jack to just say it.

"Because... Because I couldn't let Alex go."

And there it was. 

"Jack, it's been ten years since you and him broke up. Hell, you're the one who ended things. He's moved on, why couldn't you?" Rian said, turning to his best friend.

Rian's admission of Alex moving on took Jack by surprise and he shook his head, trying to clear away the confusion of the elders words. "W-What? He moved on?"

Rian sighed the nodded. "Yeah. It took him about three years to actually do it. He nearly drank himself to death, Jack. That's how tore up you left him. He was an absolute wreck. But, once he finally cleared himself up, he met his current boyfriend Matt. They've been together for almost five years."

"Oh. I didn't mean to do that to him." Jack mumbled, playing with the hem of his shirt.

"Well, you were both immature twenty year olds who didn't know how to properly carry on a relationship when one was moving across the country."

"Would you and Cass stay together if it happened to y'all?" 

"Of course. I love her, and she loves me. Love is stronger then you think, Jack."

"Even over the course of ten years?"

"Jack," Rian said, stopping at a red light. "When you're in love, and you know that the other loves you just as much, distance nor time matters. Alex still loves you. He has a picture of you two in his wallet that he discreetly hides from Matt and I've seen him looking at it and the smile he lets out is one full of love, he loves you Jack. But you fucked up and left. Now he loves Matt too."

"I know I fucked up, Ri. But I had to go. I couldn't miss this chance to make it big. And I did, that's why I was allowed to move back to Baltimore and be with Alex. I still love him too."

"Did you ever think about taking him with you when you left? He told me, a year after you did, that he would've gone if you'd asked him to."

"Rian, it's not like I didn't want him to come with me, but the company I was going to was only supplying one ticket."

Rian slammed his hand down down on the steering wheel, making Jack jump in shock and surprise. "That's not the point Jack. You could've bought another ticket and he could've gone with you. Or you could've brought him over when you got there and had a job that you could actually afford it. But did you? No. You let him slip through your fingers like he was the sand on a beach."

"Don't you think I know this Rian? I fucked up. Big time. I know I did. But, that's another reason why I came back. I want him back. I miss him. I love him."

Rian sighed. "I know Jay. But he's got Matt. You're going to have to do a lot of work in order to get him."

"I know. But I'm willing to try."
___

It had been a month since Jack had moved back to Baltimore and there's been no move on his part to make amends with Alex.

Rian had gone to him about a week ago, asking if he was planning on doing anything before he completely lost Alex. When Jack simply shrugged his shoulders and said 'soon, Rian', the elder couldn't help but huff and storm out of the room.

Jack had smiled, secretively as he watched the elder retreat. Rian didn't know that Jack had gone through his phone one day last week and had found his ex's new number, seeing as how he had changed it over the years. Jack was planning on calling soon and setting something up but he couldn't help but feel insanely nervous.

He had those nerves of 'what if he doesn't like me?' that kept rushing through his system and making him over think things.

He wished he knew what Alex would do as a result of his call but, he didn't. He didn't know how the elder had changed over the years. Over ten years at that.

Sucking it up, Jack set back to work on the newest song he'd been working on. He had been signed to Hopeless records and had never experienced a greater feeling then that moment of absolute joy when he got that phone call.

But, now as Jack looks back on it, he wonders if he and Alex would still be together if he'd stayed. If they'd be married. If they'd have kids. If they'd still be in love.

And that's exactly where Jack was at this very moment, wondering these things over and over, seeing as how they were the only things he could properly think of anymore. He seriously loved Alex and needed to know if he even wanted to meet up with the younger.

Sighing, Jack held his phone in his hand, thumb hovering over the green call button, the number already typed in but Jack couldn't help but let those damn nerves override his system and shut everything down.

He shook his head, putting his phone down on the table beside him, resting his head in his hands a few seconds later, letting his thoughts wonder back to the last one he saw the elder boy he loved(s) more than his own life.

"Jack, please baby. Don't leave me. We can figure something out. Please?" Alex begged, watching as the younger packed his bags.

Jack was leaving today, going to California for however long and Alex didn't want him to go. Jack hated hearing the elder beg, unless it was for sexual pleasure, but that's a different story. He had to do this though. And Alex had to understand.

"Jacky, please?" Alex pleaded, tears rolling fast down his cheeks as he took a step towards the younger male.

"Lex, I have to. I'm so sorry." Was all Jack said, continuing to pack.

This made Alex sob harder and he raised an arm, using the sleeve of Jacks sweater that he'd stolen from his boyfriend, wiping away tears. 

"You promised me you'd never leave me Jack. You fucking promised!" Alex had practically screamed at the younger.

His boyfriends sudden outburst had caused him to pause and he lifted his head, looking into Alex's tear stained eyes. "Promises are meant to be broken."

Jack replayed the entire situation in his head over and over, again and again. He flinched every time he heard his own words echo through his thoughts, tears starting to blur the edges of his vision at how cruel he'd been to his love, the one person who had been there for him through everything and had loved him so much, always telling him that he did, showing that he did as well. 

Jack couldn't help but let out a small sob as he thought of Alex's face when he left their apartment, bags and guitar in hand, looking over his shoulder one last time to say, "I love you. I always will" before he got into the cab and left.

Jack regretted it all as he sat there right now, wasting away in his tears and he picked his phone back up, seeing the screen still bright and the number of his ex still there.

All he had to do was push a button.

Jack sighed for what felt like the millionth time that night as he brought his thumb down onto the green call button, pressing the device to the side of his head a second later.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

When it got to the fifth ring, Jack was about to hang up when he heard a small voice say, "hello?"

"H-Hello? Is this Alex?" Jack mentally cursed himself for stuttering and making himself sound nervous.

"Um, yeah. May I ask who's calling?" Alex asked, probably thinking it was some bill collector.

"Um, Alex. It's me, Jack."

The silence that followed that simple sentence felt never ending and Jack had actually begun to fear that he'd caused the elder to have a heart attack or die from shock, if that was possible, Jack didn't know.

"J-Jay?" Alex finally spoke and the younger smiled at the nickname that he hadn't been called in years.

"Hey ba- Lex." Jack caught himself, remembering that Alex had a boyfriend. And it wasn't him.

"Jack, is it seriously you? How do you... How do you have my number?"

"You make it sound like a bad thing I called you, Alex." Jack chuckled, feeling a bit better about this call.

"No! I'm so glad you called. I really am. I haven't talked to you in ten years. It's nice to hear your voice again." Alex mumbled the last part, probably blushing as he did.

"It's nice to hear your voice too. And to answer your previous question; I'm back in Baltimore and I'm staying with Rian until I can get a place to call my own and I went through his phone one day and saw your number. I figured it would be neighborly of me to call and say hi."

"You're back in Baltimore? When did you get back?"

"Bout a month ago. And before you ask, I didn't call before now because I've been a bit busy and didn't know when would be a good time." It wasn't exactly the truth but Alex didn't need to know that.

"Oh. I'm really glad you called though." Alex said, making little butterflies swarm through Jacks body, turning his brain to mush.

"I am too because there's something I wanted to ask you."

"Yeah?"

"Is there any chance that we could, maybe, I don't know, meet up somewhere? You know, just to catch up?" Jack said, biting his bottom lip in nervousness.

"Um, y-yeah. I'd like that, actually."

Jack had to stop himself from screaming in happiness. "That's great. Where... Where should we meet?"

"Do you remember where we first met? At that Starbucks down by the record store?"

"Yeah." How could I forget where I met the love of my life?

"There's fine. It'd be nice to get some coffee and talk about things."

"Yeah. So, I'll see you in," Jack looked at the clock on his wall, "thirty minutes?"

"Sounds perfect, Jay. See you."

"Hey Alex?" Jack said before the elder could hang up.

"Yeah?"

"I've missed you."

Alex sighed. "I missed you too, baby."

And with those last five words, Alex hung up, leaving Jack with a smile on his face as stared down at his phone.

___

"Uh, yeah. Let me have a vanilla bean frappuccino." Jack said to the cashier, handing him a five dollar bill a second later to pay for his drink.

He had just got here and, upon discovering that Alex hadn't arrived yet, he decided to buy something instead of looking like a creep.

He'd also found a table that was kind of solicited away from the others so that he and Alex could talk in private, and maybe it would calm Jacks nerves about seeing his ex for the first time in ten years.

When he got his drink a few minutes later, winking at the cute cashier playfully when he handed Jack his drink and making him blush, the tall male took his drink and went to his table, sitting down in the seat that faced the front of the store so he could see Alex when he walked in.

Jack pulled his phone from his pocket, checking the time to see that Alex should've been here by now. Seeing that, the younger began to worry that the elder didn't want to catch, that he was still upset with Jack, as he should be, and he wasn't willing to ta-

Jacks thoughts were caught off when he saw a dark brown haired male walk through the front doors of the shop, chocolate brown eyes searching the area until they landed on Jack, smiling and waving when he saw the younger.

Jack couldn't help but watch as the elder walked up to the cashier, not missing the way the younger boys' eyes twinkled when Alex laid a hand on his forearm, giving him his order.

Wow, even with a boyfriend, Alex was still a flirt.

When the elder got his drink, walking his way over to where Jack sat, the younger couldn't help but feel his nerves kicking back in back in, especially when he saw how good looking his ex had gotten. 

Of course, Alex has always been attractive, but there just seemed to be something about the elder now that he was thirty years old, with slight stubble adorning his chin and upper cheeks, eyes glinting a darker brown than they did ten years ago, his arms were more toned and Jack silently wondered what his chest looked like underneath all of his clothes.

"Hi, Jay." Alex said shyly, taking his seat across from Jack and knocking the younger back into his senses.

Jack cleared his throat, taking a sip of his frappuccino before speaking. "Hey, Lex."

He didn't miss the way the elders cheeks turned a light pink at the nickname, and he silently wondered if Alex's boyfriend ever called him anything other than just plain Alex.

There was an odd silence that washed over them both at that moment, neither of them knowing just what to say.

"So, um, how was California?" Alex asked, breaking the silence.

"It was... It was great actually. A bit different than here but it was beautiful."

Alex smiled, twirling the straw in his drink around in his cup. "I'm glad you had a great time."

"Yeah." It would've been better with you there though... 

"Look Ja-" Alex began right at the same time Jack said "Alex, I'm-"

Both males blushed, awkwardly clearing their throats before Alex said. "You go first."

Jack nodded, not giving it much thought before he opened his mouth and began to speak. "Alex, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I said, everything I did, for leaving you. It killed me. I didn't want to leave you, I honestly didn't but I had to go for my career, for my future. I had to go because I wanted to do something with my life and make you proud of me."

Alex smiled at his ex's confession, laying his hand on top of Jacks that rested on the table. "I understand Jay. I'm always proud of you though. No matter what you did or what you do, I will always lo-" he caught himself, clearing his throat again before continuing, "I will always support you. You were my world at one point and I would've given anything to have gone with you."

Jack physically and mentally flinched at Alex's words. How he corrected himself when he was about to say 'love', how he looked when he said 'you were my world at one point', just those simple seven words made Jacks heart clench in fear and he had to stop the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks.

"Can... Can you ever forgive me?" Jack asked, bottom lip trembling slightly as he did so.

Alex sighed, leaning back into his seat and moving his hand away from Jacks, the younger's body feeling colder when he did so. "Jay, I forgave you long ago. Matt, my boyfriend, helped me. I just don't think you've forgiven yourself yet."

Jacks entire world came crashing down and he let the first few tears loose. "Y-Yeah... You're right. I haven't forgiven myself yet. Because I still love you Alex."

Alex raised his eyes to meet Jacks, sad looking into sad. "I know baby, I love you too."

"Then why can't we-"

"No. Please don't ask that. I can't dump Matt for two simple reasons: one, I love him. And two, I can't just walk out on somebody... I'm not..."

"You're not me." Jack whispered, wiping at his eyes.

"I wasn't going to say that."

"Yes you were Alex! I know you better than anyone. I know how you tick, I know what you wanna say when you wanna say it. I love you. That's what a person in love does. They know their partner."

Alex's jaw clenched and when he opened his mouth to speak, Jacks own hit the floor. "Yeah, Jack. Another thing people do when their in love is stay together, Jack. But we didn't do that did we? No. Because you left me." Alex glared at the younger, anger swarming behind his irises and making the younger fear him. "Ten years Jack, ten fucking years. You promised me you'd never leave me and you did."

Jack couldn't help but start crying more, tears falling faster down his cheeks and he grabbed his coffee, standing up. "I-I have t-to g-go."

"Jack." Alex began, standing up as well, reaching for the younger's hand.

"So-Sorry." Jack said, backing away from their table before walking across the floor, opening the front doors of Starbucks, walking out and leaving Alex alone. Again.

___

It had been three days since Jack had left Alex alone in Starbucks and Jack had been miserable ever since. 

When the younger had come home the other day, tears streaking down his cheeks, Rian instantly pulled the male into his arms, rubbing his back and telling him to 'just breath, it'll be okay'.

But what Rian didn't realize was that it wasn't going to be okay. He'd fucked up, again, with Alex and instead of Alex being the broken hearted one, Jack was.

When Jack finally calmed down enough, Rian let the question he'd been dying to ask slide off his tongue without a second thought.

"Why're you crying?"

And that's when Jack finally broke and told Rian the whole story, how he snooped through his phone, how he called Alex and set up a place to meet, how everything seemed to be going great until what had happened ten years ago got brought up and it had upset both men, ending in Jack crying and leaving.

Rain looked like he was about to scold the younger but when he saw the wide, blood shot eyes looking back at him with tears streaking his cheeks; he simply pulled the male back into his arms, patting his back and whispering, 'it's okay. You're okay'.

And now, as Jack sat in the room he had at Rian's place, staring down at his phone, silently wishing for something, anything as a sign from the elder that everything was okay and that Jack hadn't fucked up as bad as he thought, he couldn't help but wonder if Alex would ever want to talk to him again.

But after rigorous minutes of staring down at the blank screen, Jack sighed, tossing his phone across the mattress until it landed with a small thud on the floor.

Jack didn't jump and grab it to check to see if he'd cracked it, because let's be honest, Jack has dropped that damn thing and thrown it more times than anyone on this planet could count.

He flung himself back onto the mattress completely, burying himself in the sheets and blankets that adorned his bed, trying not to cry at the thought of his ex that kept passing through his brain.

He tried shutting his brain off, switching it into off mode so that he couldn't think of anything.

He tried thinking of something happy but his thoughts only kept coming back to Alex and he sighed again, closing his eyes and letting his mind wander back to Alex's twentieth birthday...

It had been a cold December morning when the younger woke up to his boyfriend straddling him, kissing down his chest and grinding their hips together, making Jack hum in approval.

Alex, no matter what, loved having sex, preferred it actually, in the morning. Maybe it was because his body was still overly sensitive or because he usually woke up hard from having some sort of dream or just because he simply wanted to have sex. Either way, Jack would gladly help out his boyfriend.

So, it was nothing new when Alex simply lined up Jacks cock with his entrance before sliding down until his bottom came into contact with Jacks hips, moaning slightly at the sudden stretch, his nails digging into Jacks chest before he began to rock their hips together, torturing both of them.

Jack loved having Alex ride him because, for one, he could see literally everything when Alex was on top, and for two, it felt much much better when Alex rode him because he slid in deeper and everything felt fuller.

Alex began to slowly bounce up and down in Jacks lap, dragging his nails down Jacks chest as he did so, leaving red lines down his lovers front, letting out a loud moan as he did so.

The younger couldn't help but buck his hips up, forcing himself deeper into Alex and causing the elders eyes to roll back into his skull, teeth pulling his bottom lip in his mouth as he bit down on it, letting out a small 'uhn'.

Neither male were ever very vocal during sex, especially if it was slow like it was now, the only sounds the couple ever truly did let out were ones of pleasure, pure, unexaggerated pleasure.

Alex's hands left Jacks chest, going to the males hands and linking their fingers together. That's another thing with Alex; he loved holding hands during sex, there was something about it, having that physical and emotional connection with your partner was very important to Alex.

The elder bounced a little faster, already so close and Jack nodded, whispering, "come on Alex, please."

Alex couldn't stop his moans now, getting higher and higher in pitch until he finally reached his peak and came across Jacks stomach, without being touched, hips spasming erratically.

The immense tightening of Alex's muscles sent Jack over the edge as well and he let out a low groan of his boyfriends name, hips bucking up three more times as he came down from his high.

When the elder collapsed on top of Jack, panting heavily and giggling when Jack ran his hands up and down his bare back, tickling the skin.

"I love you, Jack." Alex whispered.

"I love you too, baby. Happy birthday." Jack said back, kissing Alex's head, letting his boyfriend snuggle into his chest as they both drifted back to sleep.

There was just something about that single thought that made Jack smile, his tears fading away as nothing but happiness swarmed his system, brightening his spirits and day.

He groaned though when he heard his phone ding, alerting him of a new message, and he sluggishly crawled across the mattress until he could reach down and grab the electronic.

Even as a thirty year old man, he was still as lazy, or even lazier, than most teenagers.

He clicked the home button at the bottom of his phone, turning the screen on and Jack nearly screamed with happiness and nervousness.

New message: 
Alex: hey... Can we... Can we talk? Please?

Jack swiped the screen to the right, typing his password in, finally getting it right after three tries, and reread Alex's message one more time before responding.

Jack: um, sure...

It was a minute, trust me, Jack counted, before Alex responded again.

Alex: I wanted to talk about the other day. I wanted to apologize for what I said and how I made you feel. I didn't mean any of it. I wanted to know if we could try again?

Jack smiled at his ex's words, even in text form, Alex was sweet and caring.

Jack: yeah... That'd be great... I'm sorry too. For, you know, running out of there.

Alex: no, you had a reason to be upset. I shouldn't have snapped at you like I did. It's just... Me and Matt have been having a very tense relationship lately and seeing you just... Never mind... It doesn't matter...

Jack: Alex, anything you say matters. I love listening to you. Or, reading you?!?? Does that make sense? I hope it does? But anyways, what's been going on with you and Matt? I'm open to talk to.

Alex: it's just... It's not the same it used to be... I mean... I love him... And I think he loves me... But it feels like I'm staring into a blank space when he walks through that front door.

Jacks eyebrows furrowed in confusion, shaking his head as he replied to his ex.

Jack: I'm sorry... Do you think it's because of his work? What does he do?

Alex: he signs bands... He's always out in clubs and bars around Baltimore and surrounding cities and towns listening to different bands and signing them to his company...

Jack: is it stressful? Does it pay enough?

Alex: yeah it pays plenty. He got a raise about three months ago and even before then we had enough money for everything. I just... I don't know what it is because his job isn't that stressful, he just sits and listens to different bands. How stressful could that be?

Jack: I don't know, lex. Have you tried talking to him about it?

Alex: yeah, he just shrugs it off and says I'm over thinking as per usual. I don't know what to do.

Jack: you're not over thinking, you're doing exactly what anyone in your position would do. I wish there was something I could say or do but... Eh, I just feel useless...

Alex: jay, you're not useless. You've been more help to me than anyone else in my life and thats why I still... Why I still love you. 

Jack blushed at his phone, smiling at how cute his ex could be sometimes.

Jack: I still love you too, Alex. I've regretted that day I left you more than anything in my life. You were the one good thing in my life and I let you slip through my fingers. I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you I really am. So so so so sorry. 

Alex: I know jay. I know. I blamed myself for the longest time after you left, saying it was my fault that you did, that you didn't love me, that no one loved me, not even myself. I didn't want to live after you left and... And I nearly killed myself. I drank a lot, lived a reckless life. But, the one thing that kept me grounded, were thoughts of you. Every time I thought of your smiling face, your whispered words when we made love, the way your hands felt in mine and against my skin, all of it, kept me grounded to this earth and I realized that if I left this world, you'd blame yourself and I couldn't let that happen... I love you to much to do that to you.  

Jack had tears rolling down his cheeks by the end of Alex's message and before he could respond, his phone was ringing.

Alex Gaskarth is calling...

Jack wiped furiously at his his cheeks, clearing his voice a few times before he finally answered it.

"H-Hello?" He stuttered.

"Jack?" Alex's voice was shaky and Jack felt his heart break at the sound of it. 

"Baby, are you okay?" 

"Yeah, I-I'm fine. I've j-just never admitted that to anyone. Not Rian and definitely not Matt." Alex sighed over the line, sniffling. "But I figured you deserved to know that it was you who pulled me through even though you were hundreds of miles away a-and I j-just. Fuck. I love you so much. I miss you. I want you."

"I love you too, Lex. I've missed you ever since that day I left. I want you back. I need you back." 

"I-I... I know.. But I can't. I love you, but I love Matt too. I've been with him for five years. He's made me stronger than what I was. I'm not the same boy you used to know."

Jack nodded, even though Alex couldn't see him. "I know. The other day, I got a sort of aura that came off of you and it made me attracted to you even more."

Alex laughed and Jack totally missed that sound. The sound of Alex's laughter was his favorite sound in the world.

"Jack?" Alex said after a minute of easy silence.

"Yeah?"

"What're we gonna do?" 

Jack sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I don't know baby."

"I... I have an idea but I don't think you'll like it."

"Well, what is it?"

"Um, I think as a precautionary type thing, to not alert Matt to anything, I think we should... We should stay friends for now."

Jack could literally the world around him stop as silence filtered through his end of the phone. He didn't know how to respond, didn't know what to say. How could he even properly respond to this? Friends? With his ex? It wasn't unheard of, no, but with Alex and Jacks history, it'd be a lot harder than most other couples. 

"Um. I-I don't.... I don't know, Alex."

"Jack," the elder sighed. "Baby, I can't just dump Matt. If I could I would, because I love you a hell of a lot more then I love him. I don't care if that sounds harsh or not but it's true. I want to be with you but I want to be with him. Just... Give me a little bit to figure out who and what I want and then we can go from there, okay?"

Jack sighed, closing his eyes. "Okay."

"Hey Jay?" 

"Yeah Lex?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

___

Being Alex's friend was a lot harder then Jack thought it'd be. The first time he met Matt, he wanted to punch him in his smug looking, lip ring adorning face. 

When he saw Matt kiss Alex on the lips might he add, he wanted to stab him with a fork. 

But, oh, when he walked into Alex's kitchen to grab himself something to drink and saw Matt, situated between Alex's legs, the elder but younger sat on the kitchen counter and had his arms wrapped around Matt's neck, kissing him deeply, Jack wanted to set him on fire and throw him into a lake of gasoline.

It had been about six months since Jack had moved back to Baltimore and Alex was no where near deciding who he was going to be with, what he was going to do, nothing. Nada.

Which angered Jack to no end because while he was sucking face with his boyfriend in their kitchen, Jack was suffering at the club where he now performed at every night, getting paid barely above minimum wage, playing guitar while some singer tried to do just that. Sing. 

Jack had found a nice, cheap apartment in Rians complex and was now staying there, having bought some new furniture with his first check, his life was pretty much back to being normal.

The only thing missing?

Well, the only thing missing was a little preoccupied sucking a hickey into Matt's skin.

Jack stepped further into the kitchen, clearing his throat as he did so, mentally and physically smirking when he saw the couple jump and pull away from each other, wiping their mouths on the backs of their hands while Matt situated his shirt, covering the red splotch of color on his collarbone.

"U-Um, hi Jack. I didn't know you were here." Matt said.

No, because you were to busy sucking face to look in the living room and see that me and Alex were having a movie night in, Jack thought.

"Yeah, me and Alex are watching movies. He came in here to get drinks and when I heard you come in, I knew it'd take him a while so I figured I'd better get them myself." Jack said with a chuckle, watching uneasiness wash over both males.

Matt had no clue that Jack was actually the man who broke Alex's heart ten years ago, the two had figured that in order for them to be friends, that Matt would have to think that they were just that. Friends. Not ex lovers. 

Although, on days like today, when he saw them kiss or heard Matt whisper something dirty in Alex's ear, thinking Jack hadn't heard him, when he did, he wanted to tell Matt, 'I'm the ex that your boyfriend dated ten years ago, who he lost his virginity to, who fucked your boyfriend for seven years before leaving to go to California, leaving Alex a terrible, suicidal mess, only to come back ten years later, yeah so hi'.

But, Alex said he wanted Matt to know nothing of their history, so Jacks story was that he was a friend from high school. Of course Matt had been skeptical of the name at first but when Alex explained the situation to him, he'd only nodded before going back to watching whatever movie had been playing at the moment.

"Um, so, I'm going to go upstairs and deal with some... Uh, business. You guys can go back to watching movies." Matt said, pecking Alex on the lips before disappearing out of the kitchen and making his way up the stairs.

Jack smirked at Alex, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared at his ex. "Well that was interesting."

"Shut. Up. I know what you wanna say and yes okay, I may wanna be with you but dammit I'm horny and I need sex." Alex said.

Jack groaned, not finding the idea of his ex, the male who he lost his virginity to as well at only the age of thirteen, fucking other men appealing.

"Baby," Alex whispered, careful so that mat wouldn't hear. "I love you, okay. Just... Give me some time."

"I've given you enough time, Alex. I'm tired of waiting."

Alex's jaw clenched. "You made me wait for ten fucking years Jack, you can wait a few more months."

"You can't keep holding that over my head, Alex. It's not fair and you know it." Jack whispered harshly, stepping further into the kitchen and closer to Alex.

"Oh really? I can't keep holding the fact that you left me for ten years over your head?"

"No! Because it's not fair!"

"What's not fair?" Matt asked, walking back into the kitchen, now shirtless and wearing only sweatpants.

Jack groaned, glaring at Alex. "Alex wants to change the movie we're watching to something else but I told him it wasn't fair because we're already half way through it."

"But the movie I wanna watch is so much better then Home Alone." Alex said, rolling his eyes and getting down off the counter.

"Excuse you? Did you just insult the greatest movie of all time? I don't think Kevin McCallister would appreciate that type of language."

"First of all, Kevin, is a made up character who beats up robbers. He's not real. Macaulay Culkin is real." Alex said with another eye roll.

"Whatever." Jack said, mumbling afterwards. "Still a great movie."

___

When Jack got a text from Alex, about a month later, at eleven at night, Jack didn't know what to think.

Alex: Jack, I need you... Please come over...

All Jack could do was stare at his phone screen before the gears clicked into place in his brain that Alex actually needed him and he quickly got up from his couch, shoving his phone in his pocket before grabbing his car keys and, after locking it, closed his apartment door.

The entire way over to Alex's was spent with Jack wondering why Alex had sent him that text. Why did he need Jack? Why did he need Jack at eleven o'clock at night?

When the younger arrived at his destination merely twenty minutes later, he noticed that the usual bright house was oddly dim. The front porch light was off, the few yard lights that the couple had were also off and Jack silently wondered if the elder was even home.

But when he pulled in and turned his car off, the headlights dimming out just in time for Jack to see the front door open and Alex step out.

The taller male hastily undid his seatbelt and opened his door, rushing out in a haze to meet Alex.

Alex was in tears when Jack reached him, eyes puffy and red, and Jack could've sworn he saw a bruise there too.

"Lex, baby, what's wrong?" Jack asked, cupping the elders cheeks in his hands, using his thumb to wipe away tears.

"M-Matt h-he-"

Alex's words cut off with another sob the wrenched every tear from his body and Jack pulled him into a hug, soothingly rubbing his back and kissing his forehead like Jack knew he liked when he was upset.

"Alex, shh, breath for me baby. Don't cause yourself to have a panic attack." Jack soothed, hearing Alex's breathing hitch before it evened out once again.

Once he was sure that Alex was okay, he pulled away from the elder, staring down into those bright brown orbs, losing himself as he did so.

"Talk to me, princess." Jack said, pressing their foreheads together.

Alex took a shaky breath before opening his mouth again and this time actually getting the sentences he needed, out and in the open. 

"Matt, he.... He found out about us. He managed to get into my phone and went through all of our messages to each other. He knows you're not just my friend, he knows you're my ex. He caught me when I was coming out of the shower, nearly hitting me in the face with my own phone when he threw it at me, he started calling me names like 'slut' and a 'filthy whore' even though I explained to him that we hadn't done anything, not even kiss, but he wasn't having any of it and he grabbed the back of my head in his hand and slammed my head against the wall, he kept doing it and doing it and I was so scared, I was begging him to stop but he wouldn't and then he... He hit me and blackened my eye and I think he may've busted my lip or something. I don't know, I was just so scared and I needed someone because right after that, he threw me on the floor and left. The last thing he said to me was that we were over and that he'd come by sometime this week to get his things. I'm so sorry, Jack. I never meant to bring you into this."

Jack shook his head, kissing the elders forehead. "Why don't we go inside and I'll help you clean up then we can talk some more okay?"

Alex nodded, linking his and Jacks hand together before leading him into his house.

___ 

"So, why don't you start by telling me why he went through your phone?" Jack asked, grabbing the washcloth he'd gotten from the bathroom, wetting it with water before pouring a small dab of liquid soap onto it and lathering it up, using it to clear away the dried blood that was smeared across Alex's cheeks and chin, his lip still bleeding and puffy.

Alex sighed. "He told me that he went through it because he needed a number that I had and he didn't, when he clicked on my contacts and saw your name, one of our messages showed-ow- up too and that's when he became suspicious."

"Did he say anything else to you?" Jack asked, wiping away the last bit of blood on the elders cheek.

Alex shook his head again, flicking when Jack began to dab at the wound on his mouth, the younger giving him an apologetic glance. "No. He just said we were done, accused me of sleeping with you and then left."

Jack pulled the wash cloth away from Alex's bruised and bloody face. "I'm sorry, Lex. I never should've gotten involved with you again... I-I-"

Alex cut the younger off by pushing their lips together, letting them slot together for a few seconds before pulling away, Jack blinking slowly.

"Jay, getting involved with you was absolutely the greatest thing ever to happen to me. I love you. I loved you ten years ago when we were twenty, I loved you before then and I love you now. You've been the one constant thing in my life and I wouldn't get rid of you for the world."

Jack gave the elder a small smile, dropping the rag on the couch before his eyes dropped to Alex's lips, licking his own as he he leaned forward. 

Alex let out a small laugh, sending shivers up and down Jacks spine and he met the younger halfway, their lips connecting in a slow and gentle kiss.

When Jacks hands came up to cup Alex's jaw, the elder moved his own to Jacks hair, tangling his hands in the same hair that he used to when they were younger.

"I've missed you so much, Lex." Jack mumbled against Alex's lips, nipping the elders chin with his teeth as he pulled away.

"I've missed you too." Alex whispered, yanking on Jacks hair until their lips met again.

This one was more heated and both men felt it, the shorter wrapping his legs around Jacks waist as he planted his hands under his thighs, picking him up off the couch.

Jack carried the elder around the couch, heading towards the stairs, stumbling up them a bit and nearly falling, causing Alex to break their kiss, another laugh falling from his slightly red and cut lip, making Jack smile in absolute adoration.

"Where's your bedroom?" Jack asked.

Even after all of the times that Jack had been over at the elders house, he still had no clue where his bedroom was, in fear of it stirring some curiosity in Matt; but, now that Matt was out of the picture... 

Jack smirked, secretively as Alex pointed his finger to the left of them, into a dark room.

Jack turned their bodies and pushed Alex up against the wall beside his bedroom, hearing and feeling the elder grunt into his mouth, a few pictures on the wall falling to the floor from the impact.

Jack looked down at the pictures, allowing Alex's lips to go to his neck, kissing and sucking at the skin, a feeling of disgust washing over him as he saw that they were pictures of Alex and Matt together.

There was one in particular that absolutely made Jack sick and he turned his attention back to Alex, grabbing his hair roughly in one of his hand before pulling his head back.

He growled at Alex, watching the males eyes widen. 

"Why him, Alex?" Jack asked, tightening his hold. "Why did you choose him?"

Alex's mouth opened and closed, like he was gasping for air, no words or sounds coming out and Jack took the silence as his answer, wrapping both arms back around Alex and continuing to carry him into the bedroom, throwing him on the bed when they neared it.

Jack kicked his shoes off before unbuttoning the top three buttons on his shirt, looking at Alex as he did so, the only light in the room coming from the moon outside shining in through the window.

He smiled down at the male before crawling on top of the bed, settling himself between Alex's slightly spread thighs.

The elders fingers went directly to Jacks shirt, hastily unbuttoning it and shoving it down his shoulders until Jack could throw it onto the floor. Their kiss only broke momentarily so that Alex could remove his gray t-shirt, letting the fabric fall just like Jacks did.

"I love you." Jack breathed against Alex's lips, feeling the elder pull open the button and zipper on his pants, sliding them down his thighs afterwards.

"I love you too." Alex mumbled, letting Jack awkwardly kick his pants off before grabbing the hem on his sweatpants and pulling them down, tossing both articles of clothing onto the floor, leaving the couple in nothing but their boxers.

"I've missed having you like this Alex. You ways looked so beautiful when I made love to you. Your skin's so flawless, so perfect." Jack exaggerated the last word with a sharp bite to Alex's collarbone, eliciting a gasp from the elder. "Only I get to see you like this, right?"

"Y-Yeah." Alex gasped, his hips pushing up against Jacks, giving them both that perfect amount of pressure on both of their erections, only covered by the thin layer of cotton that adorned their waists.

Having each other like this, once again, for the first time in ten years had the pair, within a matter of seconds, eager and absolutely willing to move things along and a minute later both were naked and Jack was slathering lube over his cock, Alex having denied prep.

The first push in was always Jacks favorite part, feeling Alex tighten around him, hearing the elders breath hitch as his nails dug into Jacks shoulders and back, heels of his feet digging into Jacks ass, urging him forward. Sex for the pair had always been slow and sweet, neither wanting to rush things and now was no exception as Jack slowly eased his way in and out of Alex, leaning his entire body weight on his forearms as he made love to the elder, his ex.

Alex was in absolute heaven right now, if you believe in such a place, as he felt Jack hit every part of his inner walls, the tip of his cock nudging against that bundle of nerves with every push in, sending little tingles of pure pleasure through his system, letting it over ride his every thought and feeling.

Alex gasped, nails dragging down Jacks back as his legs tightened around Jacks waist, pushing him in deeper, when Jack thrust in just a tiny bit harder.

"Yes." Alex whispered, Jack burying his head into Alex's neck, inhaling the scent of Alex and sex. Two of his favorite smells mixed together.

"Yes, yes, yes." Alex whined, pushing his hips back against Jacks as the younger picked up his pace a little bit, hitting the elders prostate harder and causing more shockwaves of pleasure to wreck his body.

Jack pulled back, staring down at the male beneath him, all sprawled out and body gleaming with sweat in the moonlight, making this entire scenario seem just that much more romantic.

"I love you." Jack mumbled again, capturing Alex's lips with his, cutting off anything that the elder was about to reply with.

Jack felt that little bubble of absolute pleasure rise and rise in his stomach, setting his every nerve ending on fire, making every touch electric and burn into his flesh like scars that no one but him would be able to see.

When Alex's whines got just that bit higher in pitch and his eyes fluttered closed, nails digging harsher into the younger's back as he kept grinding lazily back on Jacks cock.

"Jay, p-please? Fuck. T-Touch me." Alex begged.

Jack nodded, moving one hand from beside Alex's head and wrapping it around the mans cock, flicking it just a tad bit faster than his thrusts.

"J-Jack." Was all the younger heard before his partner was coming in warm white streaks across Jacks hand and his own stomach.

"Fuck, Lexxy." Jack groaned out, hips thrusting in and out a few more times before he finally reached his climax, releasing into the elder male with a moan.

Jack collapsed on top of the elder man, chests pressing together and both forgetting about Alex's mess between them as they kissed, lazily pressing their lips together and giggling when they bumped noses.

"Jay?" Alex said as Jack pulled out, wiping down the elders stomach with a shirt he grabbed from the floor.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Promise me you won't leave me again?"

Jack sighed, crawling beside Alex and pulling said male into his side. "Baby, I was here the entire time, right by your side. Love doesn't fade away. I was in your heart and I've never left. Just like you've never left mine."

Alex smiled. "Promise?"

"I promised baby. I'm yours, forever."

Notes

Lol this is over 8.3k words jfc
I've been working on this oneshot for over a y e a r jfc
but it's officially the longest one I've written so yay leave comments and shiz for me bc y not yo?!?