Oh Calamity!

Jack got up and left us alone, I shrugged not looking at Alex, it was weird he had turned from my uncle who used to spoil me and never told me what to do into a parental figure and it was hard to talk to him now, I didn’t know how I was meant to act sometimes, he was being patient waiting for me to speak, I sighed
“I don’t know, things are weird, you keep telling me off”
“don’t try that, you have been acting up, you get some slack but not like this, the school is keeping in contact with me they don’t want to let you fall through the cracks because of this, they are trying to convince me to put you in therapy, but I don’t want to force that on you, I know it doesn’t work, but if I have to I will do it”
“Alex I don’t need therapy!” I said upset, he had promised he would listen to me, I guess that’s gone,
“I need you to try and talk to someone, I would like it to be me but I know it’s not my choice, and as much as you 2 argue Jack seems to get things out of you the best at the minute, I won’t ask what you are saying, you can tell me if you want to, I would like you to, but it’s your choice, I will only make sure you are talking, deal?” he asked, I sighed thinking, I didn’t want to have to talk to anyone, but if I had to choose it would be Jack they both knew that,
“Fine” I said upset
“come here” Alex said cuddling me “I miss her too you know” he said quietly, I nodded trying not to cry, I knew it would mean he would ask more, but failed “its ok ash, we will get through this together, your mum didn’t make the decision for me to look after you lightly, there were other options she thought this would be best for you, for us, she knew we would need each other” Alex said gently still holding me
“What? She talked to you about this? But how would she know?” I asked confused she was killed in a car accident coming to pick me up, Alex flew straight over to look after me as soon as he was contacted and then moved me to America so he could look after me,
“she was a single mum she had to think about these things, when she brought you over and we got on so well, she asked me, and then the guys, she didn’t have many people in England, I begged her to move over here, but she wouldn’t, she was too independent, she would have moved in here and she would never rely on me like that, she was stubborn like you are being now”
“Why didn’t we move, she missed you guys so much, she told me about you all the time but said I wasn’t allowed to watch you play until I was older, I found you on YouTube and got in trouble” I laughed then cried,
“She never told me that, she said you were too young to want to” he said looking amused
“Why wouldn’t she let me? She never explained” I asked confused
“We are silly on stage, she didn’t want us influencing you” he smirked
“Can I now?” I asked quietly, I needed to feel closer in some way,
“We could play for you?” he suggested smiling,
“Why can’t I watch videos?” I asked wanting to know what was wrong with them,
“Well we swear and say things that are inappropriate for you to hear your uncle say, and then there’s Jack he behaves around you, imagine him hyper on stage”
“I still want to see it” I couldn’t imagine him the way he was being described, he was nothing like how my mum had described him,
“We will see” he smiled,
“So no, fine” I huffed
“I didn’t say no, I need to think about it, I don’t want to go against your mum, and I will think about it, anyway did you finish your work?” he asked smiling,
“Yes there was hardly anything to do” I said annoyed he brought it up again,
“Where is it?” he asked seriously, I sighed and got up and showed him it and the rest I’d done,
“Good girl” he smiled kissing my head then walked out, I sat on my computer I wanted to put headphones in and look for the video but didn’t want to upset Alex so looked the guys up more, until Jack walked in I closed the screen quickly, but he had noticed
“What shouldn’t you be looking at?” he laughed
“Nothing” I lied “I was just coming off”
“liar, you were looking up stuff about us, Alex told me, I came in to help, it’s my fault you can’t watch the videos anyway, I don’t think I want you to, but it’s up to Alex, I just hope you don’t think less of me if you do watch them, I’m kind of an idiot on stage”
“And a complete one off stage but here you don’t have an excuse” I laughed,
“Hey, that was mean” he smiled,
“I’m sorry” I laughed “so Alex told you about our deal? You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to”
“don’t try and get out of it, of course I do, I come in trying to get you to talk every time I think there is something wrong, I would do it more, I was worried you would stop talking if I did it too much, anyway nope you have agreed to this so you are going to start talking, I know it will be hard for you and will do my best to help but you have to try too” he said looking the most serious I had seen him, and it was making me nervous, I didn’t say anything unsure of what to say “if you are upset try and talk to one of us ok? Ring me I know you have my number and never use it, I am telling you this now CALL ME!”
“Ok, ok I will try” I said
“Good, now did you find what you were looking for, or do you need help or do you just want to ask me? That would be easier I will answer any questions you have” he smiled
“I’m ok” I smiled, he smirked
“You are embarrassed aren’t you? Ask me if you want I don’t mind, anyway if you are done come on, we want to show you something anyway” he said grabbing my hand and pulling me out of my room, then over to Alex’s practice room, I never went in there, partly because I avoided the guys a lot, but also because I was never asked,
“What you doing” I asked, feeling weird they all had their instruments, Jack got me to stand in front of them and stood awkwardly, they played a few songs for me, then they stopped, and started messing around
“You know if you asked me this a while ago we could have played for you already”
“Yeah feel free to come in and listen to us practice any time” Rian smiled, he was nice but him and Zack hadn’t said too much too me,
“After you are done your homework” Alex added laughing
“I know, anyway I will leave you guys to it” I smiled feeling awkward, I went to walk to my room alone I went to shut the door but Jack was in the way
“Hey!” he said as it hit him
“What?” I sighed he was not leaving me alone for long today
“So you feel better now? You know what we do more”
“Yeah but” I said feeling unsure and stopped,
“But what?” he said picking up on it straight away
“Nothing” I said quickly “I promised to talk, it’s not about my mum it’s me”
“Alex said talk not what about, its everything, your mum is a big part of it, but you hiding away is another, you not talking to the other guys, you only talk to me because I make you and annoy you into it if you won’t” he said sitting on my bed,
“Yeah I thought you might leave me alone but talking just made you worse” I laughed
“they won’t do that, they don’t want to force you or make you uncomfortable, but that means you barely say a word to them, Rian tried today and you ran out straight away” he was being very careful not to upset me, I could tell,
“Oh” I said realising I didn’t really answer him, or really spoke directly to them ever, I usually just hid in my room till Alex or Jack dragged me out for a little, “I guess your right”
“Why?” he asked I thought about it,
“I don’t know, I feel uncomfortable so I go away I guess” I said quietly, how am I meant to say I don’t feel like I belong with them, I guess that’s why I was secretly finding out about them, I felt like an outsider looking in
“Why do you feel uncomfortable, don’t you think you might feel better if you spent time and tried to talk to them?” he smiled
“maybe” I said looking down, I knew I didn’t have an answer not to, I didn’t want to but knew I was never going to feel comfortable with them or at all really unless I tried harder,
“Come on then” he said jumping up he knew I would follow he would make me if I didn’t so I followed him downstairs “and no running off ok? I will come get you again” he smiled we walked through I sat next to Alex sitting as close to him as possible, Jack sat next to me making me feel safer,
“You ok?” Alex asked I nodded, he put his arm around me and they sat talking.
“So how’s school?” Rian asked, he wasn’t asking about homework or why I wasn’t behaving he was just trying to talk,
“Ok I guess, it’s so different then England, not many people talk to me” I shrugged
“Are the classes ok? I remember some of them were really boring for us” Rian smiled
“She likes science, she’s our little brainiac” Alex laughed
“Really why?” Jack laughed “I thought that’s why you weren’t doing it?”
“I like science but it is boring right now, I’ve did this stuff already we did it at the beginning of the year”
“Have you told your teacher?” Alex said going back to parent mode
“Not yet, I was trying to get used to things” I said making excuses.
“I will speak to them, you will be behind in other stuff, and you may need extra classes or something”
“Great” I huffed
“ashleigh” he warned turning to face me, I sat up when he used my full name, I hated it when he did that I hated people using my full name and he only did it when he was getting annoyed, he sighed “ash, I don’t want you to fall behind, if you work as hard as you did in England you could go to college and make something for yourself, you know your mum would want that, she would have kicked my ass if she knew I was going to let you fall behind” I looked down, I tried to forget the fact she wouldn’t be happy with how I was acting, he tightened his arm around me cuddling me into him
“She would want you to do well, I know you are struggling with everything and I’m going to make sure I get you all the help you need”
“I know” I said quietly, he squeezed me but kept his arm around me
“You’re doing great” Jack whispered I smiled at him, Alex looked at us but said nothing,
“Are you taking music?” Zack asked,
“No, art”
“Why?” Jack asked sounding offended
“Because I took art at home, they put me in the class”
“I didn’t know that” Alex said surprised, “I never saw any art homework, or got complaints”
“I do it at school, or do extra in my spare time” she shrugged,
“Can I see?” Zack asked surprising me,
“I don’t have any school work here” I said looking down, I had some personal stuff, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to show them,
“You have other stuff though” Jack said guessing
“Its ok, show me another time”
“How come I never saw that stuff? Why did you hide it?” Alex asked me sounding a little hurt
“Its personal, I never show anyone my personal stuff, my mum saw almost none of it” I said quietly
“Bring your folder home next time I will have a look” Zack smiled, I nodded smiling,
“Hey why don’t I teach you guitar?” Jack asked looking excited, I had wanted to learn when I was younger but never did
“Erm ok” I said surprised
“Then you could take music next year” he laughed
“Why?”
“Because music was our favourite lesson, it was an excuse for band practice”
“We will see about that Jack, but I think you should teach her” Alex smiled
“Come on” Jack grinned and took me to their practice room,
“You did well, I told you it wouldn’t be too bad” he said passing me a guitar and showed me how to play some chords, until Alex came in,
“Time for tea ash, I made some for you too Jack, they guys have gone though” I got up and went downstairs.

Notes