Sometimes, The Sickness is The Cure
The Irony Of Choking On A Lifesaver
You're the snake hidden in my daffodils when I'm picking flowers
That's just my luck these days
Why can't you just be happy for me?
Jack fluttered his eyes open, slightly moving his head to discover his face was buried in someone’s hair. A familiar scent came to him when he smelled the hair that was tickling his face. He was spooning Alex, snuggling the older man very close to his body. He was slightly confused while he woke up, then he remembered he’d invited the older man to sleep with him. He felt Alex tighten his grip on Jack’s arm that was wrapped around his warm body.
Jack wanted to get up, but he felt so comfortable in the position he was in. He felt himself doze off once again, burying his face in those sweet smelling locks of brown mess. Then Alex slightly jumped, his eyes bolted open and he turned to face Jack.
“What time is it?” He asked frantically.
“Holy fuck,” Jack eyes widened as well. He reached towards his night stand to his phone. Looking at them time.
“SHIT!” He yelled, jumping out of bed and frantically dialing a number on his phone.
“Hello? Oh Yeah, I know- I’m, we’re sorry we- I understand- No it won’t- We’ll be there immediately.” Alex listened to the conversation, trying to see if he could make out the voice on the other line.
“Who’d you talk to?” Alex rose off the bed.
“It was Josh, he’s not too happy about us being three hours late.” He ruffled his hair, walking to his closet. Picking out his work attire.
“I’m a go get dressed.” Alex smiled, trying to catch a glimpse of the other man’s face.
“Okay.” Jack said emotionless.
Alex walked to his room, feeling a bit sad. He felt it was his fault the two were late. If he hadn’t come up with his great idea to go to the park in the middle of the night then they wouldn’t have been late. They would’ve slept early, and gone to work on time. Surely Jack was mad at him. After all, everything that happened last night was because of him. The movie, the park, the car sex, and the shower. They were all his idea. And now it was his fault they might be fired at the end of the day. His heart sank and his stomach hurt. He didn’t like the feeling of Jack being mad at him. They both walked in silence towards the parking lot. Alex looked at Jack, who seemed lost in his own thoughts. Surely thinking of a way to get rid me. The brunette thought.
“Jack?” Alex spoke, breaking the silence.
“Yeah?” The younger man replied as he started the engine.
“Um, I’m sorry. For everything.” Alex looked in Jack’s direction, then dropping his head down.
“What do you mean?” He asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“For making us late, for dragging you to the park and making you do thing your probably weren’t even comfortable to do.” Alex continued to stare at the floor of the car.
“Alex, you don’t have to be sorry. It’s not your fault at all. It was really fun to hang out with you. Plus, you didn’t make me do things I wasn’t comfortable to do. You kind of just motivated me to try it, and I liked it.” Jack smirked. “It’s not you were the one who invited yourself to my bed.”
Alex rose an eyebrow and looked up at Jack. The way Jack worded his last sentence gave the brunette a pleasurable chill down his spine. Not only was Jack not mad at him, but he liked what they did.
“Uh, I- Yeah. We should go.” Alex smiled dumbly, then turning in the other direction. He could feel his cheeks were burning red.
“Right,” Jack nodded, starting to back out of the parking lot.
~*~
“Come back again!” Their manager yelled across the store to a couple of customers exiting the music shop.
“Where in the fucking hell were you two?” He glared at them.
“We-“
“Jack and I slept really late because we working on a song that I was composing. I took us a while to get the first few chords and how they would be played. We’re really sorry Josh. I promise it’ll never happen again and I take full responsibility for this.”
“No it won’t happen again, ‘cause next time you two are late your asses will be leaving this store and going to the unemployment office.” He frowned.
“Sorry,” Alex replied.
“Alright now you and Jeff organize those CDs. They’re out of order again.” He pointed across the store to an aisle, walking away afterwards.
“Did he just call you Jeff?” Alex began to laugh.
“That man never gets my name right, ever.” Jack shook his head as Alex was leaning over Jack’s shoulder, almost falling over in a laughing fit.
The two men began to put the CDs in chronological and alphabetical order by artist and release date. Both taking turns in helping customers find something or ring them up for an item. Even though it was a Monday, the store was fairly busy. The two men stayed for the afternoon shift since one employee called in sick and they could use the extra hands. Once their general manager left, their shift manager came in. A man by the name of Vic.
Vic was a short, Mexican man who happened to be a bit older than Jack and Alex. He’d just turned Thirty One that year, but did not look it at all. His long curly caramel colored hair, which he straightened on special occasion, rested neatly on his shoulder. His nose ring, baby face, and short stature didn’t help him look his age either. Some people confused him for a high school student sometimes. He happened to be somewhat of a friend to Jack. Never really getting close to him, until now.
“Hey, I heard you two were late.” Vic approached the two men who were behind the counter. Fixing the display cases.
“Yeah,” Alex shook his head.
“You were writing a song together?” Vic asked.
“Yeah, we were.” Alex nodded as the short man whom shot a look at Jack who was avoiding his glare.
“Jack, actually writing music? As in, he was playing guitar?” Vic arched an eyebrow, looking at Alex than at Jack.
“Well I mean, he helped with the lyrics and-“
“You don’t have to give me any excuses. It’s fine. Just don’t be late again.” He smiled. “Jack when you’re done come to the office. I need to talk to you.”
“Okay,” The raven haired man nodded as Vic walked away.
Alex felt his heart sink once again. He lied, and now Jack might get the blame for it. His stomach tied in knots when he saw Jack walk away towards the manager’s office in the very back without saying anything.
“Oh God, please don’t let it be something bad.” Alex whispered to himself.
“Jack, sit down.” The older man instructed as he took a seat himself.
“Fire me, don’t fire Alex please.”
“What?” Vic shook his head in confusion.
“Don’t fire Alex, it’s not his fault. He lied to keep us from getting in trouble. We actually hung out and stayed up most of the night.” Jack sighed.
“I’m not going to fire you or Alex. I actually wanted to talk to you about something personal.” Vic looked straight into Jack’s eyes.
“What are-“
“Jack, Lisa was here this yesterday. Looking for you.” Vic straightened his lips.
“What?” Jack felt his heart ache just hearing the said girl’s name.
“She said she’s been looking for you like crazy. She said she saw you leave the store one day with Alex. She wants to talk to you.” The short man replied.
“About what? Why is she here? What does she want to talk to me about?” Jack roughly gripped his hair, running his fingers through it, pushing his fringe out of his face.
“I don’t know Jack, but I thought you’d be happy to see her.” Vic rose from his chair to sit next to Jack.
“No Vic, I loved her and she left me. She left me, and now she wants to come back after what she made me go through and just talk to me again? Why is she here in Baltimore? She was living her dream in New York while I was here, drowning myself in booze crying over her for five god dammed years. Then she suddenly thinks that’s showing up and talking to me is going to fix anything? Does she even have any idea what I went through because of her?” Jack slammed his fist into the arm of the chair, swallowing up the knot that began to form in his throat.
“I don’t know Jack, but you have so many questions. I think it’d might be best if you do talk to her. You need to straighten things out.” Vic rubbed Jack’s back as he began to tear up.
“V-vic I can’t. The last time I saw her I almost killed myself. I can’t face her again. She destroyed me and seeing her will make it worse. I don’t want to be near her because it makes me want to take her back again, and I sincerely don’t want to be with her.” Jack rubbed his eyes.
“You have to understand Jack that if you don’t face your problems they’ll never be resolved. The reason you can’t move on is because you have all these emotions welling up inside you and you never had the chance to let them out and tell her how you felt. You think you miss her and that you love her, but maybe you just miss who she used to be. Not who she is now.” He explained to Jack, who was crying out all of his anger and frustration. “Jack you’re strong. Do this for yourself. It’s for the better.”
“I think you’re right.” Jack rubbed his neck.
“That night you saw her, you said you were going to kill yourself?” Vic furrowed his brows looking directly into Jack’s swollen eyes.
“Yeah.” He nodded.
“Was that night, the same night you met Alex?” The Mexican man arched a brow.
“Why-“
“I’ve seen the way you smile around him. The way he acts like a kid and you laugh like crazy. He seems to be a great friend Jack. Keep him, he’s worth something.” Vic smirked.
“Well, to answer your question. Yes, that was the night I met Alex. I punched a mirror at the bar and he was worried about me and gave me a ride home. I don’t know, he made me feel something that night and I guess I didn’t have the nerve to actually harm myself after that. I don’t feel as sad as I used to around him. He makes me really happy, always finding way to make me smile.” Jack shivered, feeling his sadness slowly leave his body.
"Good, and don’t ever fucking think that bitch is worth you killing yourself. You’re so much better than that. You’re worth a lot Jack Barakat and I never want to see you cry over her again okay?
She’s not worth it. Face her and tell her how you feel.” Vic got up to get Jack some water.
“Thanks Vic. I never looked at it that way. I guess next time she comes around I will talk to her.” Jack felt his stomach churn. He really didn’t want to face Lisa, but if this is what was going to end his misery. The so be it.
That's just my luck these days
Why can't you just be happy for me?
Jack fluttered his eyes open, slightly moving his head to discover his face was buried in someone’s hair. A familiar scent came to him when he smelled the hair that was tickling his face. He was spooning Alex, snuggling the older man very close to his body. He was slightly confused while he woke up, then he remembered he’d invited the older man to sleep with him. He felt Alex tighten his grip on Jack’s arm that was wrapped around his warm body.
Jack wanted to get up, but he felt so comfortable in the position he was in. He felt himself doze off once again, burying his face in those sweet smelling locks of brown mess. Then Alex slightly jumped, his eyes bolted open and he turned to face Jack.
“What time is it?” He asked frantically.
“Holy fuck,” Jack eyes widened as well. He reached towards his night stand to his phone. Looking at them time.
“SHIT!” He yelled, jumping out of bed and frantically dialing a number on his phone.
“Hello? Oh Yeah, I know- I’m, we’re sorry we- I understand- No it won’t- We’ll be there immediately.” Alex listened to the conversation, trying to see if he could make out the voice on the other line.
“Who’d you talk to?” Alex rose off the bed.
“It was Josh, he’s not too happy about us being three hours late.” He ruffled his hair, walking to his closet. Picking out his work attire.
“I’m a go get dressed.” Alex smiled, trying to catch a glimpse of the other man’s face.
“Okay.” Jack said emotionless.
Alex walked to his room, feeling a bit sad. He felt it was his fault the two were late. If he hadn’t come up with his great idea to go to the park in the middle of the night then they wouldn’t have been late. They would’ve slept early, and gone to work on time. Surely Jack was mad at him. After all, everything that happened last night was because of him. The movie, the park, the car sex, and the shower. They were all his idea. And now it was his fault they might be fired at the end of the day. His heart sank and his stomach hurt. He didn’t like the feeling of Jack being mad at him. They both walked in silence towards the parking lot. Alex looked at Jack, who seemed lost in his own thoughts. Surely thinking of a way to get rid me. The brunette thought.
“Jack?” Alex spoke, breaking the silence.
“Yeah?” The younger man replied as he started the engine.
“Um, I’m sorry. For everything.” Alex looked in Jack’s direction, then dropping his head down.
“What do you mean?” He asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“For making us late, for dragging you to the park and making you do thing your probably weren’t even comfortable to do.” Alex continued to stare at the floor of the car.
“Alex, you don’t have to be sorry. It’s not your fault at all. It was really fun to hang out with you. Plus, you didn’t make me do things I wasn’t comfortable to do. You kind of just motivated me to try it, and I liked it.” Jack smirked. “It’s not you were the one who invited yourself to my bed.”
Alex rose an eyebrow and looked up at Jack. The way Jack worded his last sentence gave the brunette a pleasurable chill down his spine. Not only was Jack not mad at him, but he liked what they did.
“Uh, I- Yeah. We should go.” Alex smiled dumbly, then turning in the other direction. He could feel his cheeks were burning red.
“Right,” Jack nodded, starting to back out of the parking lot.
~*~
“Come back again!” Their manager yelled across the store to a couple of customers exiting the music shop.
“Where in the fucking hell were you two?” He glared at them.
“We-“
“Jack and I slept really late because we working on a song that I was composing. I took us a while to get the first few chords and how they would be played. We’re really sorry Josh. I promise it’ll never happen again and I take full responsibility for this.”
“No it won’t happen again, ‘cause next time you two are late your asses will be leaving this store and going to the unemployment office.” He frowned.
“Sorry,” Alex replied.
“Alright now you and Jeff organize those CDs. They’re out of order again.” He pointed across the store to an aisle, walking away afterwards.
“Did he just call you Jeff?” Alex began to laugh.
“That man never gets my name right, ever.” Jack shook his head as Alex was leaning over Jack’s shoulder, almost falling over in a laughing fit.
The two men began to put the CDs in chronological and alphabetical order by artist and release date. Both taking turns in helping customers find something or ring them up for an item. Even though it was a Monday, the store was fairly busy. The two men stayed for the afternoon shift since one employee called in sick and they could use the extra hands. Once their general manager left, their shift manager came in. A man by the name of Vic.
Vic was a short, Mexican man who happened to be a bit older than Jack and Alex. He’d just turned Thirty One that year, but did not look it at all. His long curly caramel colored hair, which he straightened on special occasion, rested neatly on his shoulder. His nose ring, baby face, and short stature didn’t help him look his age either. Some people confused him for a high school student sometimes. He happened to be somewhat of a friend to Jack. Never really getting close to him, until now.
“Hey, I heard you two were late.” Vic approached the two men who were behind the counter. Fixing the display cases.
“Yeah,” Alex shook his head.
“You were writing a song together?” Vic asked.
“Yeah, we were.” Alex nodded as the short man whom shot a look at Jack who was avoiding his glare.
“Jack, actually writing music? As in, he was playing guitar?” Vic arched an eyebrow, looking at Alex than at Jack.
“Well I mean, he helped with the lyrics and-“
“You don’t have to give me any excuses. It’s fine. Just don’t be late again.” He smiled. “Jack when you’re done come to the office. I need to talk to you.”
“Okay,” The raven haired man nodded as Vic walked away.
Alex felt his heart sink once again. He lied, and now Jack might get the blame for it. His stomach tied in knots when he saw Jack walk away towards the manager’s office in the very back without saying anything.
“Oh God, please don’t let it be something bad.” Alex whispered to himself.
“Jack, sit down.” The older man instructed as he took a seat himself.
“Fire me, don’t fire Alex please.”
“What?” Vic shook his head in confusion.
“Don’t fire Alex, it’s not his fault. He lied to keep us from getting in trouble. We actually hung out and stayed up most of the night.” Jack sighed.
“I’m not going to fire you or Alex. I actually wanted to talk to you about something personal.” Vic looked straight into Jack’s eyes.
“What are-“
“Jack, Lisa was here this yesterday. Looking for you.” Vic straightened his lips.
“What?” Jack felt his heart ache just hearing the said girl’s name.
“She said she’s been looking for you like crazy. She said she saw you leave the store one day with Alex. She wants to talk to you.” The short man replied.
“About what? Why is she here? What does she want to talk to me about?” Jack roughly gripped his hair, running his fingers through it, pushing his fringe out of his face.
“I don’t know Jack, but I thought you’d be happy to see her.” Vic rose from his chair to sit next to Jack.
“No Vic, I loved her and she left me. She left me, and now she wants to come back after what she made me go through and just talk to me again? Why is she here in Baltimore? She was living her dream in New York while I was here, drowning myself in booze crying over her for five god dammed years. Then she suddenly thinks that’s showing up and talking to me is going to fix anything? Does she even have any idea what I went through because of her?” Jack slammed his fist into the arm of the chair, swallowing up the knot that began to form in his throat.
“I don’t know Jack, but you have so many questions. I think it’d might be best if you do talk to her. You need to straighten things out.” Vic rubbed Jack’s back as he began to tear up.
“V-vic I can’t. The last time I saw her I almost killed myself. I can’t face her again. She destroyed me and seeing her will make it worse. I don’t want to be near her because it makes me want to take her back again, and I sincerely don’t want to be with her.” Jack rubbed his eyes.
“You have to understand Jack that if you don’t face your problems they’ll never be resolved. The reason you can’t move on is because you have all these emotions welling up inside you and you never had the chance to let them out and tell her how you felt. You think you miss her and that you love her, but maybe you just miss who she used to be. Not who she is now.” He explained to Jack, who was crying out all of his anger and frustration. “Jack you’re strong. Do this for yourself. It’s for the better.”
“I think you’re right.” Jack rubbed his neck.
“That night you saw her, you said you were going to kill yourself?” Vic furrowed his brows looking directly into Jack’s swollen eyes.
“Yeah.” He nodded.
“Was that night, the same night you met Alex?” The Mexican man arched a brow.
“Why-“
“I’ve seen the way you smile around him. The way he acts like a kid and you laugh like crazy. He seems to be a great friend Jack. Keep him, he’s worth something.” Vic smirked.
“Well, to answer your question. Yes, that was the night I met Alex. I punched a mirror at the bar and he was worried about me and gave me a ride home. I don’t know, he made me feel something that night and I guess I didn’t have the nerve to actually harm myself after that. I don’t feel as sad as I used to around him. He makes me really happy, always finding way to make me smile.” Jack shivered, feeling his sadness slowly leave his body.
"Good, and don’t ever fucking think that bitch is worth you killing yourself. You’re so much better than that. You’re worth a lot Jack Barakat and I never want to see you cry over her again okay?
She’s not worth it. Face her and tell her how you feel.” Vic got up to get Jack some water.
“Thanks Vic. I never looked at it that way. I guess next time she comes around I will talk to her.” Jack felt his stomach churn. He really didn’t want to face Lisa, but if this is what was going to end his misery. The so be it.
Notes
I know it's too cliche to add another band member as a character but I love VIc so hah.
I'm currently working on a compilation of Jalex one shots with a friend of mine.
It can be found in my profile. it's called
"Get Down On Your Knees And Tell Me You Love Me"
I posted the first one today.
There's also an inside joke in the chapter that my followers on instagram will only get so if you wanna be in on it look for me!
IG: @OleeOnTheEdge
cx
Sorry this chapters short DX
Title and Lyrics from All Time Low
Don't worry, sincerely I prefer read a good chapter after a while than a shitty one immediately (if that even makes sense, I'm sorry but I'm tired so my mind is pretty fucked up). And I hope the things you're going through will work out :)
12/15/14