Circles

we started to walk I filled them in turns out Zack had already got me a spot in 40 minutes enough time to get a drink, and calm my nerves first time doing my own stuff Rian found us at the beer tent, and gave me the sheets I handed them to Alex, and Zack we decided to go to the acoustic tent after a quick run through so I guess its time Jack, and Rian tagged along to hear the songs I figured I would do Music Is My Anchor, Don't Walk Away, Just Shut It, Nothing Hurts, and All I am Is Damaged

I got up on stage
"Hey guys I know I wasn't really planned to be up here, and this set will be really short but it means the world to me to do these songs a lot of my songs are about an x of except one I will talk about it when its time for that song. So here goes my first song its called Music Is My Anchor

(I'll only put a preview of these songs since they are my own, and I do not want them stolen since I am actually in the works of finding a bad to work them with)

Music is my anchor what kept me around
when nothing was left for me
I write I sing I scream for my release
it never came
I never wanted to turn to the blade
but at that time it was my only friend

(final course piece)
Its time to Get off the cold ground and start over again
A fresh start with a new person in heart in mind
all I ever wanted was to be whole again live my life without fear

"this next one is called Just shut it"
(ending)
Only you drive me to be this way so just shut it little boy you're not worth my time
(Laugh)

"alright so here's one I've made over today I know yea completing a song in one day is a task harder than can be imagined, but possible, and this really came to me after the drama of today everyone saw what happened during set today this one hasn't been fully thought out the best, but this is an unrevised version of the song I am working on Don't Walk Away it goes out to someone who is become special to me over the last month so lets give this a shot

(ending)
Don’t wallllk awwwwayyyyy
Cause there is nothing here without you
Don't walk away
Though there is nothing left to say
without you
my heart it can't take no more
now that you've walked out that door
Don't talk away
I am nothing here without you
so please don't walk away cause nothing will ever be the same.

I looked over at Jack with teary eyes he looked like he was sad, pissed, confused all in one then he just walked off I looked back to Alex, and Zack who just smiled at me weakly.
Thanks everyone for coming out."
Alex, Zack, and I walked off stage headed to the bus when we got on Jack was sitting on the couch with his laptop the three of us walked to the back lounge, talked about getting me signed with their label Hopeless Records , or with BVB's able at Universal or well their old standby, or here with 604 Records I hope this goes well I went to talk to all the friends I made in the last few days I got all the guys in BVB, PTV, OM&M, TND, TPR, SC, SWS, CML, AA, BOTDF, AAS, BTF, Silverstein, Juliet, lights, and Jeffree. I told everyone I'd love to stay, but I just can't not with all the Jack tension I said my goodbyes, and left I would miss all the friends I made here thank goodness one is in my town, and 5 of the other's aren't too far from me I have a feeling I will need them in the coming months to getting signed. As I walked to the gate alone I didn't want anyone near me I was in such a destructive mood I heard the sound of heavy boots behind me I decided to pick up my pace so I didn't have to deal I heard them start to run up behind me and throw me over their shoulder only one person would do this CC I looked at the hand, and saw black nails definitely CC. "CC what the hell where are we going."I asked half scared to death. "I wanted to walk you out I am gonna miss someone who has become so close in such a short time you’re like family to us missy, and I don't know why you are letting you fuckin' stupid ex get to you, or well Jack you really should stay just for a while our bus is leaving early, and we have a hotel stay, and hang with us till then because we are flying to our next place since all the buses have to leave by 4 am so hang with us." he said. "Just give me a few minutes to think on it CC I will stay right here alright?" I said "Alright good cause I gotta pee I will be back in 5 minutes you better be right here when I come back for you.” “I will now go before you pee your damn pants." "I'm going I'm going" I watched CC disappear, and I felt someone grab my wrist I know those shocks from anywhere my blood ran cold then started to boil him only him he made so much pain for me all I could feel was anger I ripped my wrist out of his grasp, and turned to see indeed I was face to face with Scott.
"What are you doing here?? You low life parasite! Was it not enough to have people after me to kill the only thing I had left? To have all my friends taken away? All my chances to move on? To go after my family? Now what made me feel alive again! You make me sick Scott you make me so damn sick. Did you only come here to play around again? You, and your sick little games well let me tell you this my life is no game for you. No playground for you to have a field day with my heart well you don't get to anymore! Why can't you see I am happy for you? It’s all I ever wanted for you why can't you just let me be? Let me move on? Don't I deserve that?" I said with venom dripping from every word ever heated word I ever really wanted to say to him just came forward in one rush he looked stunned after a few seconds of being stunned he turned to me with a wickedly evil smirk, and went in his bag I looked at him curiously he pulled out my prom clutch I lost he handed it over, and told me to look in it I looked in it there was a box of razors, and pills of all sorts along with a picture of me, and him when I was pregnant the first time when I told him at prom 3 years ago, and a picture of that ultrasound, and the pregnancy test I just broke down he looked at me, and said I think you will need these for now on cause it’s only going to get worse from here on out good luck with that he walked off just as CC came back and saw me on the ground. "Shaden what's wrong? What happened?" He said concerned. I just kept looking down at the bag CC seemed to notice, and took the bag from me looked in it.

"Shay I-I Had no clue are you alright let’s get you back to the bus." all I could do was nod, sob uncontrollably into CC's chest when he hugged me I stood up, and CC dropped down so I could get on his back to head to the bus when we were heading there we were getting so many questions soon as we passed Alex, and the guys they looked me, and came running forward, and Jack stayed in his spot looking at me with sad eyes noticing another small bag I looked over, and saw we weren't going on BVB, or ATL's bus we were going on Asking's when we got up the steps I looked up, and saw BVB, PTV, SWS, OM&M, FIR, SC, CML, TPR, BTF, Juliet, and of course AA they all stopped, and rushed over to me Juliet elbowed her way through, and said girl time told all the guys besides CC, and Alex to stay out of the back lounge the 4 of us went back there I pointed over to the purse still unable to speak CC handed it to Juliet while Alex just hugged me tight making me bury my head in his chest while looking over as Juliet pulled all the stuff out one by one Alex asked me to take off my wrist bands so he could see I took them off they saw the scars on my wrist, and a few healing scabs they looked shocked Juliet was the first to speak. "I had no clue Shay you seem like such a happy person I really didn't what would drive you to do this?" "I think I know. She told me a lot. I knew I should have walked you out. Why did you have to be so stubborn? But you never told me you do all this. Why would you want to do that to yourself?" Alex asked pissed off. "Whoa Alex calm down you have a point, and what has happened to her? But only if you are okay with that Shay?" CC said. "A lot maybe in time I will tell you two in time." I said nervously. "well you are staying with us tonight anyways so you can spill to Juliet, and meet Sammi since she will be here any time I think you need girl maybe get Sever to stay, and all you girls get a room." He said. "I think it would be good mind if I stay with you guys, and I'll book my flight with yours now because I am not leaving her alone tonight, and when you get it out of her what really happened, or if you feel like telling me Shay I will be around, but I think you need girl time, and you should stay back here with Juliet come on CC." Alex said as he let go of me out of his tight embrace "Thank you Alex you really do feel like a brother to me, and CC you truly are becoming one of my best friends thank you, you two. They left me in the back with Juliet I told her about what happened with Scott, and I up until CC found me."I just can't believe the hell you've been through because you loved him I used to be bulimic Hun so you’re not alone I know Vic used to self harm, Austin's heart, Alex's panic attacks, Andy has ADD so you're not alone at all with all the stuff you have." She said. I also showed her my arms, I told her about Jack, and I the feelings I have for him. “Go after him make sure it doesn't fail I see the way you two look at each other it's how Andy and I used to" She told me. I told her I was confused because I kinda liked Jake a little, but I need to put him way out of the conclusion because he is engaged we heard a knock.
"Come in?" Juliet said.

When the door opened it reveal Sammi Doll, and Jinxx that’s when it hit me I still didn't put on my bracelets Jinxx dropped his jaw, and Sammi pushed him out the door, and said "so you are Shaden?" "Yea I am, and you’re Sammi Doll from My Satellite, and Jinxx's wife I love your photography." I said "Thanks’ means a lot so I see you are getting along with my girl Juliet" She said "Yea I am by the way I hope you don't mind me, and Sever may be joining you tonight." I told her weary of what she might say. "I know CC texted me it's cool glad to welcome another girl to our family tho we aren't outnumbered anymore, and Sever is welcome too Alex told her she'll be here...." The door slid open and there was Skye A.K.A Sever. "We should head out by the way I got us girls a 4 bedroom cause guess who I brought." She said."Humm since its going to be girls let me guess Mercedes, and Phoenix." I joked. "You got it right." She said "Then why four beds?" I asked "Where else is Alex going to sleep"
"and Brandon" Phoenix and Mercedes said walking in. We all burst out laughing I just remembered I don't have any pjs besides what I wore last night oh well. "Lets go"
We got up left the back lounge, and headed to the hotel throwing out all the stuff that was in the purse into the lake before we left we told the boys to meet us there we took a cab went got our room just had a complete girls night I was asked about what happened I asked Juliet to tell while I went to see if they guys were here yet just as I got to the elevator it opened and there were all 8 of the guys CC, Alex, Andy and Brandon all pulled me into a big hug, but then I seen Jack pass behind with the other while Jake looked at me like I was glass glaring at Jack. I told the boy's where we were took their room number went back to the girls guess it’s going to be a party after all.

Notes