The Last Night

The sound of his sneakers on the pavement and the smell of piss and varying types of smoke were very familiar to Alex. He walked through the alley with his hands in the pockets of his Blink 182 hoodie and his eyes on the vomit slicked ground. He took a long drag from the cigarette between his lips and pulled it nervously from his his mouth between two shaky fingers.

He wondered what Jack would say if he knew where he was. Alex had waited for his boyfriend to fall asleep before climbing out of the window and walking to the city. Baltimore was a lot bigger than he remembered. His father used to bring him to these alleys when the alcohol stopped satisfying his need to forget what he had become.

Alex would never forget the first time his dad stuck a needle into his arm. The heroin has filled his father's system and for the first time in what felt like forever, he saw his father smile. It was also the first time that his father had made Alex touch him in ways that no seven-year-old should ever have to touch their father.

So why was Alex returning to the place that had caused him so much trauma? He wanted to smile too. He had a wad of cash in his pocket that he's gotten after he had broken into his father's house earlier in the night. It came as no surprise to Alex that there was a note on the door warning that the house was to be condemned.

He put the cigarette to his lips again and inhaled deeply, savoring the burn as the nicotine made its way down his throat. He hadn't smoked in years. Not since Billy. He shook his head, ignoring the memories that threatened to break the ten foot wall he'd built around the feelings he had once felt towards the dark-haired boy. Alex wanted to turn his thoughts to Jack in order to avoid guilt, but given the circumstances, that would be a waste of time.

Alex felt the phone Joyce Barakat had purchased him vibrate in his pocket and pulled it out. He had a text from Jack. After a moment's hesitation he opened it.

'babe where r u? it's 3am. xx'

Alex sighed and locked his phone, sliding it into his pocket once again without responding. He inhaled more smoke from his cancer stick and blew it out with a sigh. "Sorry Jacky." He whispered as he approached his destination.

He looked at the mat afront the ramshackle house's front door. 'Armstrong' it said. The last name of the only person who he trusted outside of the Barakats. Maybe too much, but thinking about that right now was not something Alex dared to do.

It took all of his strength to raise his fist and knock on the door. The doorbell hadn't rung in years and he knew the Armstrongs didn't have the money to fix it. He heard someone stumble down the stairs and the door opened.

The wall he'd built collapsed at the sight of the tired smile and smudged guyliner and the words, "Well that's worth answering the door at three in the fucking morning for."

"Hey Billy. Sorry to bother you, but I need your help." Alex said in a hoarse voice.

Billy Joe snatched up Alex's cigarette and took a hearty puff of it before grabbing his hand and pulling him inside. Billy was only in a pair of black boxers and his hair was messier than usual as he plopped down on the broken couch and pulled Alex down next to him.

After pulling a joint out of one of the many holes in the couch and lighting up with Alex's lighter, Billy looked at Alex in a way that showed him that he was giving his full attention. "Is this about your dad? I heard he got put away."

Alex nodded. "Did you hear why?" He whispered.

Billy grabbed Alex's hand and nodded. "My ma told me. Your dad is a piece of shit for doing that to you, Lexy. When he gets out, you, me, and my brothers are gonna beat his fucking face in." He took an angry drag from his joint and handed it to Alex.

Alex accepted it graciously. Of course Billy's mom knew. She was a nurse at the hospital. She worked graves and had probably been there when it happened. Lord knows that if it wasn't for the night shifts she wouldn't trust her reckless teenagers to be home alone all night on this side of Baltimore.

"So where ya been livin'?" Billy pressed. Alex blushed and looked down at his shoes. Billy's face lit up with the prospect of new information. All traces of tiredness faded away. "Oh my god. You have a boyfriend?"

Alex laughed and nodded. "His name is Jack."

Billy's smile faded. "The Jack who gives you shit everyday and beats you up with his faggot friends?" His voice was stern.

Alex sighed. "That's the one." He said quietly.

"DOWNGRAAAAADE!" Billy sang, swallowing more of the sour smoke and sending it out through his nose. The anger in his black rimmed eyes, however, wasn't hidden by the song or the smoke.

Alex sighed. He should've known that telling Billy anything about Jack would have a negative effect after they had dated for so long. Billy was the first person that Alex had consensually had sex with. He had helped Alex with his self harm and taught him how to french inhale when he smoked. Billy was Alex's first love. He should have known that Billy wouldn't take the news of Alex dating his ex-bully very well.

"Billy-" Alex tried, but he was interrupted immediately.

"Don't fucking apologize to me, Gaskarth." Billy said, sitting up and looking Alex in the eye. "We made our choice, okay? So if you think that you're low enough to deserve that sick son of a bitch then so be it."

Alex had never seen Billy's eyes look so sober. He'd never seen them so full of love. Whoa. Billy loved him. Had he always loved him? Alex thought back to the time Billy stitched up Alex's wrist with dental floss when he'd cut to deep and kissed him every time he so much as whimpered at the pain. He thought of the day Billy's dad had passed away and he'd come straight to Alex's house and cried into Alex's chest. He thought of the time Zack had given him a broken arm and Billy had gone on for hours about how he was going to kill him before cuddling with Alex until he fell asleep.

Before Alex knew what he was doing, his lips were on Billy's and Billy was kissing back. Alex's hands were laced through Billy's bedhead and Billy's were on Alex's cheeks.

It wasn't long before they were upstairs in Billy's bed doing things that were so familiar and comfortable to Alex that he couldn't think of anything other than Billy and the smile that he couldn't convince to leave his face.

Alex woke up wrapped up in Billy and his sheets and the most profound confusion he had ever felt. Why was he so content to smell the smoke on Billy's skin and hear his snores? Why did he feel so much better when he realized that his lower body echoed a dull pain from the night before? Alex was supposed to be waking up to Jack. He should be feeling guilty...shouldn't he?

Notes

Sorry for taking forever with this story guys, I've been busy with school and break and boyfriend stuff.
BUT
If you wanna reach me, hit me up on Xbox Live so we can play some games together with my boyfriend and our friends if you like. I'm SarahsB124
Till darkness completes us,
Sarah's Butterflies