The Last Night

Alex glared at the fresh cuts on his thigh as the hot shower water slammed down against him. He hadn't even had a reason to cut. He just missed the pain. He missed his dad. He missed his mother most of all.

He wondered where she was right now. He trained his eyes on the blood running down his leg. He knew where she was. Alex just didn't want to believe it.

Alex sat down on the shower floor, slightly troubled by the fact that it didn't hurt to sit down. He thought of Jack. What would Jack think if he knew how much Alex wanted pain. He felt hollow without it.

Of course he felt love for Jack, but aside from that, he was numb. He gently brushed his fingertips against his lips. Jack. A smile fought its way onto his lips. He loved when Jack kissed him. He didn't deserve it, but he still savored every moment of the Lebanese boy's touch.

He was surprised Jack hadn't asked him for sex yet. Wasn't that the whole point of relationships? It was all Alex really seemed to be good at. He showed his dad he loved him through sex and his dad did the same so why not Jack?

Alex hurried out of the shower and got dressed, desperate for an answer. He rushed into Jack's room where he found his boyfriend sitting on his bed playing guitar.

"Do you love me?" Alex blurted out from the bathroom doorway.

Jack jumped in shock due to the outburst. He turned to face Alex. His eyebrows were knit together in a tight line. "Why would you even ask that?"

Alex's heart jumped in his chest. He wasn't sure how to word his next question. His eyes drifted to his bare feet. "You don't want to have sex with me."

The room fell silent.

Alex nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt Jack press his lips to his hungrily. Jack was holding his face gently despite the vicious movement of their lips. Alex felt himself get excited. The excitement, however, stopped when Jack removed his lips.

"I love you so fucking much. Love isn't just physical Alex. I love you from here." Jack said quietly as he pointed to his heart. "Not just here." He said, pointing to his crotch.

Alex couldn't help but smile. "Hey Jack." He whispered. Jack smiled sweetly down at Alex, who felt beautiful under Jack's gaze. "I love you more than you will ever know."

Alex stood up on his tiptoes and pressed his lips to Jack's. He felt Jack smile into the kiss. When they pulled away, they kept the fingers of both hands interlocked and swung their arms around a bit.

"You're so beautiful Alex." Jack whispered.

Alex smiled and leaned his forehead against Jack's. "I think I might agree with you now." He whispered.

Notes

I got my hair done so radly, check it out on @Jalex_Lover on Instagram
Man, I love my hair stylist, she's badass and so kind to take four hours on bleaching and dying and cutting my hair.
It's brown with redish purple undertones and pink for who doesn't have instagram
Till darkness completes us,
Sarah's Butterflies