"I don't do band members!"

For the rest of the week I try to stay out of Mike's way and luckily the boys and especially Tony didn't catch on that something is different between us. I can't deal with this stuff at the moment because there are more important problems. We end the tour and as soon as I'm back home I decide to get my shit together and get professional help.

It was my first appointment with Dr. Carter today and I was pretty nervous. I had never needed therapy before in my whole life and I felt like I was a failure for not being able to deal with my problems by myself.

I had seen my regular PhD and told her about what happened to me in the last months and she had recommended Dr. Carter as a 'very capable therapist but also very unique character' so that got me interested to say the least.

Tony offered to come with me but I told him I could handle this on my own, truth is, I am not ready to tell Tony all about my past yet. I am not even sure if I am ready to tell it to this Dr.Carter!

When I reach his office I check in at the desk where a cute young girl with a blonde ponytail and unreal long black lashes takes my details, then she leads me to the waiting area in front of his room. There are a couple of chairs lined up and magazines on the table but apart from me there is no other patient around. I sit down and stare at the wall for a while not in the mood to read something or listen to music.

The door opens and a boy leaves the room, in my mind I call him the typical teenage emo kid. His eyes stay glued to the floor, his long black fringe covering half of his face and his shoulders slouched. He looked like he has to carry a ton load of weight but he is skinny as a twig.
I smirk to myself, seems the doctor hasn't been helping him much yet!

It takes a moment until I snap out of my thoughts and realise that I'm next, so I get up and walk through the door into his office.

I look around his room curiously. Mostly white with modern sleek furniture and a couple of colourful modern prints on the walls.

There is a couch to one side of the wall but the doc sits behind a black desk and motions for me to sit down in a leather chair on the opposite side.

I sit down and can't quite hide a snort as I take a closer look at my therapist. Across from me I see a pretty handsome young man with very short blue! hair fascinating eyes that seemed nearly green wearing a red checkered shirt and glasses. All in all a very colourful appearance.
"What?" He snaps although he can't hide the smile that's playing around the corners of his cute lips.

I decide to be honest and straightforward. "Wow, your the hottest doc I have ever had. And you totally pull off the fashion disaster look."

He grins back. "Most of my patients are teenagers and they dig my style."

"Well, I'm a kid at heart Dr Carter." I reply batting my lashes.

"I see. I think we will be working well together and please call me Tyler." He looks through his papers then takes off his glasses and leans back in his chair. "Now for the serious stuff. Let's get to work on your issues."

He starts off by asking normal stuff about me, my family and my childhood. And I answer easily and truthfully as there is nothing disturbing to tell anyways, I get more comfortable while talking and Tyler is actually a really funny guy. Then he asks me about the reasons for my anxiety and I tell him about the kidnapping and the shooting and he listens closely.

After writing something down in his notes he sighs and looks up again.

"Gi, I can help you with your anxiety, I can show you some techniques that you can use to avoid a panic attack and we can talk about the events that traumatised you. But to really overcome your fears you will have to face the person that caused this and talk it out. You will have to meet Tom."

I gasp and shake my head while I hold onto the armrests of my chair until my knuckles go white. "No! I can't. - I won't! I want to forget. No way! I - I never want to see him again."

Tyler looks at me with a sympathetic smile. "Don't freak out! It will not have to happen straight away. We will work towards it. I will only let you do it if I believe you're ready. I will also check with the clinic to find out how well he is. We don't want to make things worse on his side. But believe me at the end of the day it is the only option." He gets up and around his table and places a hand on my shoulder.

"I think this is enough for you today. See you next week same time?" I get up and just nod before I leave his office.

Notes

Heeeyyy! See what I did there? He is helping with my ISSUES. Hah!

okay disregard me I'm being stupid again!