"I don't do band members!"

We approach the bus when the door opens and Vic steps out with a surprised expression.

"Gi, what are you doing here?" He looks from me to Tony for an explanation.
This is the moment I have been dreading and I am about to take a deep breath to figure out what to tell him when Tony interjects.

"Look Vic, Gi is not feeling too well and I will take her with me for the rest of the tour."

Vic doesn't respond but looks me up and down as to figure out what's wrong with me and then he turns to Tony with a displeased look on his face. "Don't you think this is a decision that concerns all of us? I would have appreciated if you would have talked to us about this beforehand."

I can feel Tony getting angry beside me because he squeezes my hand and huffs, so I am quick to answer Vic before the situation escalates into an argument.

"Vic, yes you are right and I'm sorry, but at the moment I have a really hard time being on my own and I wasn't going very good this last week, so Tony thought if it would be possible that I could come with you for the rest of the tour. It is only a week." I explain, looking down to the ground because I feel uncomfortable telling people about my anxiety.

Jaime and Mike had joined us in front of the bus by now and Jaime is the first to answer. He shrugs stating. "I don't mind, I mean it's not like you haven't been on our bus before and it worked well during Warped." And climbs back onto the bus after patting mine and Tony's back.

Vic comes close and studies my face frowning. "Is it so bad?" He whispers in my ear as he hugs me and I nod as a reply. "I want to make myself useful while being on tour, I mean I know a bit about the business and I will help wherever I can." I say out loud.

Tony turns me towards him and looks at me sternly. "You don't have to work to be here, Gi. You have still not fully recovered." He wants to say something to Vic when he is interrupted by a snide voice from behind.

Mike who has been leaning against the bus' side pushes himself away and walks over to us. "Why does she have to be here? Wouldn't it be better to get her into a clinic and we can do our job here without disturbance? I mean it's cramped on the bus as it is, she will only make it worse." The whole time Mike talks as if I am not around and hasn't looked at me for once.

My mouth falls open as I try to figure out what Mikes problem is, I always thought we were friends but the way he acts now, I am not so sure anymore. Did I do anything to piss him off?

Tony is about to take a step towards him angrily but Vic stops him with a hand to his chest and turns around to Mike. "MIKE, will you shut the fuck up. What's wrong with you?" He scolds his little bro.

Mike looks as if he wants to say more but then just throws his arms in the air and turns around and walks away mumbling to himself.

I look at Vic shaking my head. "What was that supposed to mean?" Vic starts to pull me towards the bus and pats my back. "Just disregard him, he obviously had a bad day, I will talk to him later and tell him to apologise."

"He better!" Tony grumbles behind me shooting angry glances towards Mikes back.

I get my bag out of the car and settle into Tony's bunk before I take Mayhem for a walk. I stroll around the venue talking to some of the crew members and finally ending up at the Merch table where I helped unpacking and setting up.

I deliberately took my time because I didn't want to go back to the guys to soon, I hoped that emotions would have smoothed down by the time I was back. So I returned just when they were leaving for soundcheck.

Tony had already been worrying about me but he didn't have the time to get angry so he just kissed me goodbye and I wished him good luck and they had to go. I would watch the concert later from backstage but I didn't want to be in their way when they prepared for the set so I walked around outside the venue a bit and watched the crowd of fans getting bigger as they queued in front of the gates.

I smiled at their excitement and a lot of the kids smiled back, some waved when they saw my all access pass hanging from my neck and asked if I could get them backstage, I had to deny of course but it was all in good humour. Then suddenly a tall girl with orange hair pointed at me and shouted.

"I know her, she has been on many Warped photos, that's the girl that got shot." Now everybody turned around to stare at me and questions are fired at me from the crowd.

"Why did Tom shoot you?"

"Are you and Tony together?"

"No, I have seen photos with her and Alex!"

"Slut"

"Band whore"

"What are you doing here with Pierce the Veil?"

I try to talk back but it just gets too much, so I grab Mayhem and turn around to get back into the venue while the kids laugh at me.

When I am inside I lean against the nearest wall and take a shaky breath. What's wrong with me, when did I get so insecure? I would have laughed about kids being rude to me before, but since the recent incidents I have become so self conscious and I just felt really hurt.

My mind wanders back to what Mike had said about me earlier and I have to admit that had hurt as well. I don't know, it just feels like I am not myself anymore, like I don't even know who I am.

Notes

Okay, now I know there must be somebody out there! I have like 10k views. They must be somewhere! Right? .. Or maybe not. Maybe it's just a miscount. I'm sure that's it. * goes back into her room closing the door *